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YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER... A NEW DIMENSION... A DIMENSION OF VISUAL PHENOMENON AND SUPERNATURAL COMPLICATIONS. WHERE THE ANITDISESTABLISHED CORPORATIONS BECOME DISJOINT AND UNRECOGNIZABLE FROM THE YUPPIE HETEROGENEOUS SECTIONS OF MODERN SOCIETY... YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER A TOTALLY AND UNDENIABLY RE-UPHOLSTERED.. TALE FROM THE LOSER ZONE /-------------------------------------| ! (C) 1985 THE CIRCLE SPELLBOOK, INC. ! |-------------------------------------/ HE WAS KNOWN MOST POPULARLY AS BLACK BUCCANEER, FAMOUS PHREAKER, HACKER, PIRATE, AND ALL-AROUND DUDE. BY HIS PERSONAL FRIENDS HE WAS KNOWN AS RICK, NOT THE BEST FOOTBALL PLAYER, NOT A LETTERMAN IN HOCKEY, JUST A REALLY AWESOME DUDE... WHO WAS UP FOR ABOUT $200000 IN FINES TO THE U.S. GOVERNMENT... BUT HE COULDN'T GET CAUGHT... HE WAS TOO SMART FOR THAT, AND FOR THAT REASON HE WAS WELL RESPECTED ON EVERY BBS IN THE MIDWEST. THEN ONE DAY, HE CALLS THE PIRATE'S PLACE II, A WELL-KNOWN HACK/PHREAK BBS WHICH IN THE PAST HAS ALWAYS BEEN WELL KNOWN FOR ITS SREENING OUT OF LOSERS... BUT NO SYSOP CAN STAY HOME ALL THE TIME AND NO SYSTEM CAN BE PERFECT... AS MANY WERE ABOUT TO FIND OUT. FOR AS BLACK BUCCANEER DIALED THE LAST DIGIT OF THE PHONE NUMBER ON HIS COPY OF MEGATERM 4.0, HE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT HE HAD JUST GAINED ELITE ACCESS TO.. THE LOSER ZONE /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-| WELCOME TO THE PIRATES PLACE II... PLEASE ENTER YOUR SECURITY CODE: SWIFTLY RICK ENTERED HIS SPECIAL PASSWORD "8BLUE8" WHICH SIGNALLED THAT HE WAS A V.I.P. ON THAT BOARD. ON-LINE: BLACK BUCCANEER GOOD EVENING, IT IS 7:36 ON FRIDAY, NOVEMBER EIGHTH! LAST CALLER WAS: AUNTIE CRACKS-A-LOT (RICK GIVES A LAUGH WHEN HE THINKS OF THIS USER'S REPLY TO THE FEEDBACK HE MUST HAVE SENT...) YOU HAVE 10 PIECES OF MAIL WAITING! USE [E] OPTION TO READ. ====== A N N O U N C E M E N T S ====== (CTRL-S TO PAUSE/SPACE TO ABORT) RICK QUICKLY ABORTED THE ANNOUNCEMNT TO FIND OUT WHO THE HELL WOULD GIVE HIM TEN PIECES OF MAIL... --------------------------------------- [?=MENU]: E [R]EAD MAIL, [S]END MAIL, OR [Q]UIT: R CHECKING YOUR MAILBOX... 10 LETTERS (CTRL-Q(SPACE TO ABORT) LETTER FROM: AUNTIE CRAKS-A-LOT POSTMARKED: 3:07 54 PM THUR NOV 08 HEY, DOOD! I HAVE SOME KOOL WAREZ FOR YA IF YA WANT THEM, LIKE POLE POSTITION AND BEER RUN, BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GOOD TRADE! IF YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING REALLY KOOL I MIGHT EVEN GIVE YOU ULTIMA V! HURRY UP AND CONTACT ME, I CAN'T HAVE MY BUDDIES IN BLACK BAG WAITING FOR ME! L83R, AUNTIE CRACKS-A-L0T PROUD MEMBER OF THE WISCONSIN WHACKERS (K)ILL, (R)EPLY, (S)AVE, (N)EXT (Q)UIT: RICK IS LAUGHING TO HARD TO TYPE WELL, BUT MANAGES THIS WEAK REPLY... 80 COLUMNS, 100 LINES MAXIMUM /EN TO QUIT, /S TO QUICKSAVE, /Q TO QUIT YOU LOSER HAHAHA! MY GOD... YOU REMIND ME OF THAT JHONNY THE AVENGER IN THE REAL PIRATES GUIDE! HAHAHAHA! LATER, BLACK BUCCANEER PROUD MEMBER OF THE AUNTIE-CRAPS-A-LOT CLUB... ACME HACKERS, WE'RE GREAT WHACKERS! HAHAHAHAHA! /S PLEASE WAIT... DONE LETTER FROM: AWESOME USER DATE POSTED: ABORTED RICK IS STUNNED... ANOTHER LOSER... HOW COULD IT BE? RAPIDLY HE TYPES 'OFF' AND PULLS OUT A PHREKING PROGRAM TO GET A NEW CODE, PRAYING THAT THAT WAS JUST A FLUKE... UNFORTUNATELY, RICK OLD BOY, THERE ARE PLENTY MORE FLUKES TO COME! --------------------------------------- RICK SPENT THAT ENTIRE NIGHT LOOKING THROUGH EVERY DICTIONARY HE COULD GET HIS HANDS ON FOR SUCH WORDS AS 'DUDEZ' AND 'KOOL,' WORDSK HE HAD NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE AS HIS ENTIRE LIFE HAD BEEN WITH PEOPLE WHO KNEW HOW TO SPELL. FINALLY GIVING UP, RICK DARED TO CALL AGAIN... WELCOME TO PIRATES PLACE II ENTER AUTHORIZATION CODE: ------ ONCE AGAIN, THE FAMOUS BLACK BUCCANEER WENT THROUGH THE PROCEDURE AND SKIPPED THE THIRTY-THREE LETTERS WAITING FOR HIM AND DECIDED TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE MESSAGE BASES. PIRATS PLACE II MENU OF SUB-BOARDS ---------------------------------- 1 - GENERAL BOARD 2 - HACKING BOARD 3 - PHREAKING BOARD 4 - PROGRAMMING BOARD 5 - CREDIT CARDS AND OTHER THINGS 6 - ANARCHY BOARD 7 - COMMUNICATIONS BOARD 8 - BLACKLIST 9 - REVIEW BOARD 10 - ELITE BOARD PLEASE PICK (1-10) :1 GENERAL BOARD THERE ARE 99 MESSAGES POSTED SORTING... START LISTING TITLES WITH #90 90. IDEA 91. I AGREE 92. HEY, DUDEZ! 93. SUM K-K00L WAREZ! 94. ULTIMA V! 95. LET'S WAR! 96. SHUT UP, PUSSY! 97. YOU STINK! 98. MY GOD! THE LOSERS HAVE INVADED! 99. SHUT UP, DICKWHACK! READ MESSAGE # (1-99) : 98 LETTER FROM: YELLOW JACKET DATED: 11/7/85 WHAT THE HELL! IS THE SYSOP ON VACATION? WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHERE ARE THE COOL USERS? HELP!!! LATER, /-----| != = =! != = = | != = = / != = =! |-----/ THE YELLOWJACKET READ MESSAGE # (1-99) RICK SEES THAT HE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE PUZZLED BY THIS SUDDEN INVASION... WAR BOARDS EVERYWHERE, FAKE WARES, EVERYTHING FOUND IN A DUDE'S NIGHTMARE. QUICKLY, RICK SENDS MAIL TO THE YELLOW JACKET TELLING HIM HIS FEELINGS AND THEN LOGS OFF THANKFUL THAT NOT ALL THE LOSERS ARE THERE. --------------------------------------- LETTER FROM: YELLOW JACKET POSTMARKED: 11/8/85 WHAT DO YA MEAN, DOOD? I LIKE IT HEAR! ALL THESE K-KOOL PEOPLE ARE REALLY NICE TO ME! WHO CAREZ ABOUT HACKING? I'LL SPEND MY TIME CALLING ALL THEZE K-K00OO()()<><>L BULLET YELLOW JACKET! ISN'T B-SPACIN' K-KOOL? -------------------------------------- IT IS THE NEXT DAY... RICK IS SHOCKED BEYOND REPLYING, AND QUICKLY REALIZES WHAT HE MUST DO... QUICKLY HE POSTS A MESSAGE ABOUT HIS NEW BBS WHICH HAD JUST GONE UP AND WAITS FOR THE GEEKS TO GO TO HIS TRAP... /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ WELCOME TO THE BUCCANEER'S CHEST WHAT'S YER CODE, MATE? NEW PLEASE ENTER YOUR FULL NAME: =>AWESOME USER PLEASE ENTER YOUR VOICE PHONE: =>000-000-0001 YOU ARE: AWESOME USER 000-000-0001 IS THIS CORRECT? YEP, THAT'S RIGHT! PLEASE WAIT... YOUR PASSWORD IS: L053R PLEASE W{ITE IT DOWN AS YOU WILL NEED IT THE NEXT TIME YOU LOG ON TO THE BUCCANEER'S CHEST! ON-LINE: AWESOME USER TODAY IS NOVEMBER 11 LAST CALLER WAS: THE GEEK PLEASE WAIT... NO MAIL WAITING, SORRY! --------------------------------------- BULLETIN UPDATED 11/6/85 WELCOME TO BUCCANEER'S CHEST, WHERE THE BEST HACKERS AND PHREAKERS HANG OUT... THERE HAS BEEN A SUDDEN UNEXPLAINED INCREASE IN LOSERS AROUND HERE, SO I'VE DECIDED TO GIVE A BIG SURPRISE TO ANY LOSER WHO WOULD LIKE TO CHAT WITH ME... SO IF YOUR'RE A LOSER, COME ON DOWN! LATER, BLACK BUCCANEER OF... /-----------/ / /! / / ! /-----------/ ! ! ! ! !BUCCANEER'S! ! ! CHEST ! ! ! ! / ! !/ !-----------/ -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=---=-=-=-=- [?=MENU] :C "AYE, CAP'N! GUY HERE BY DE NAME OF AWESOME USER 'ERE TA SEE YA' SIR!" THE DOOR TO THE CAP'NS QUARTERS OPENS AND OUT STEPS YOUR SYSOP, BLACK BUCCANEER WITH A SNEER AND A BOTTLE O' RUM IN HIS HAND. SO, YOU SAW MY MESSAGE, EH? YEAH! I WANT SUM K-K00()()OOL WARESEZ! I HAVE SUM GOOD 1'S, BUT U GOTTA GIMME SUM GOOD AXESS! I KNOW, AND I WILL... ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TYPE 'OFF' AND THEN NEVER CALL ANOTHER BBS FOR THREE MONTHS! THEN SUDDENLY YOU'LL GET SOME REALLY GOOD GAMES! K-K00L, MAN! THANX, FREND! NO PROBLEM, BUD. "IT'S BEEN A GOOD CHAT, MATEY, BUT I GOTTA GO FIX DIS HERE COURSE WITH MY GIRL IN DARE... THANKS FER CHATTIN'" -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [?=MENU] :OFF YOU WERE CALLER NUMBER 357 GOODBYE, AWESOME... RICK CHUCKLES TO HIMSELF "FOUR LOSERS DOWN AND A MULTITUTDE TO GO... HEHE" --------------------------------------- LATER THAT WEEK, RICK CALLS THE PIRATES PLACE II TO GLOAT OVER HIS TRIUMPH... AND SUDDENLY FINDS OUT THAT HE'S MISSED THE BIGGEST LOSER OF ALL... (WARNING: THE BELOW LETTER TO "BLACK BUCCANEER" SHOULD NOT BE READ BY PEOPLE WITH BAD HEART CONDITIONS, CANCER, LUKEMIA, OR AN ALERGY TO LOSERS AS THE SURGEON GENERAL HAS DETERMINED THAT READING ANYTHING BE THIS PERSON CAN BE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTH) LETTER FROM: MAXIMILLIAN KEHE DEVLIERED: 11/15/85 DUDESEZ, I HAVE SUM REAL K-K00()()<><>CCOOL WARESEZ LIKE KARATEKA III AND PAC-MAN II, BUT I BEE-ING A GREAT DOOD EX-PECT T GET A GREAT TRADE FROM U! OR ELSE I'M GONNA GET MY TEN-FOOT TALL DADDY TO PUNCH U AND THEN MY BUDDY JHONNY THE AVENGER WILL FONE UR STUPID BOAD AND KRASH IT! C U LAID-HER, DOOD! MAXIMILLIAN KEHE I BUY MY K-KOO00L ADAM AT KALDOORS! (DON'T SAY WE DIDN'T WARN YOU!!!) RICK WAS STUNNED, CONFUSED, AND DUMBFOUNDED AS HE KILLED THIS MAIL AND WENT ON TO THE MESSAGES. 90. UP YOURS, PUSSY! 91. DRUGZ R K-K00L! 92. I GET HIGH ON SWEETTARTS! 93. GUMMI BEAR FER PRES! 94. D&D IS K-K00L KAR-TOON! 94. I LUV DISKS! 95. WHAT'S A SHOWER? 96. I DON'T KNOW BUT... 97. IT GETS U CLEAN! EWWWWW! 98. MY GIRLFRIEND 99. ECH! COOTIES! READ WHICH (1-99) : RICK SLOWLY AND METHODICALLY READ ALL THE I&S ON THE SUB... AND THE NEXT... AND THE NEXT... FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE ALL ETERNITY... --------------------------------------- EPILOUGE: ON-LINE: BLACK BUCCANEER WELCOME! TODAY IS SUN, NOVEMBER 21 LAST CALLER: MORGAN THE PIRATE NO MAIL WAITING, SORRY! ====== A N N O U N C E M E N T S ====== (CTRL-S TO PAUSE/SPACE TO ABORT WELL, I'M BACK FROM VACATION AND HERE I SEE LOSERS EVERYWHERE! SOMEONE MUSTA GOTTEN INTO THE SYSOP FUNCTIONS AND GIVEN ALL YOU LOSERS ACCESS... WELL, YOU CAN BE SURE YOU'LL BE LATERED BY THE END OF THIS WEEK! LATER, MORGAN THE PIRATE --------------------------------------- [?=MENU] : PLEASE WAIT... (*> ATTENTION! THE SYSOP IS PRESENT <*) HEY, RICK! CAN YOU BELIEVE ALL THE GEEKS AROUND HERE SUDDENLY? THIS IS RIDICULOUS! MY FEEDBACK WAS FILLED WITH FIFTY LETTERS FOR "K-K00L WARES!" IT'S RIDICULOUS... IF I DIDN'T HAVE THAT EXTRA 10 MEGS THE BBS MIGHTA GONE DOWN... I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! WHAT GEKS? EVERYONE HERE IS A K-K00L DOOD! HAY! I C YOU'RE BACK FROM VACATION... CAN U GIVE ME ULTIMA V? AND ALSO... I WANNA BE CO-SYSOP! CAN U GIVE ME SYSOP AXESS?..... ----------------------------- NOT EVEN GOOD STUDENTS ENJOY ENGLISH OR VOCABULARY... BUT SOMETIMES ONE MUST REALIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF IT, AND WHEN ONE DOES, IF NOT PREPARED HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE IT... AND BECOME ANOTHER DUDE WHO CRACKED... ANOTHER OBSCURE DEFINITION IN... THE LOSER ZONE. /-------------------------------------| ! (C) 1985 THE CIRCLE SPELLBOOK, INC. ! |-------------------------------------/ FOR MORE CIRCLE SPELLBOOK HUMOR LIKE "DORKS AND DUDES: THE HACKERS ROLE- PLAYING GAME," CALL THE CIRCLE OF ENCHANTERS AT (203) 972-2810... AND STUFF THE COUPON BELOW INTO YOUR MODEM FOR SYSOP AXESS! --------------------------------------- ! I HEREBY PROMISE TO GIVE ! ! SYSOP ACCESS WHEN I GET -----------! ! HIS/ HER LETTER THROUGH ~YOUR NAME~! ! MY MODEM, SO HELP ME GOD ! ! I ALSO DECLARE THAT I'M ! ! NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY THE CIRCLE ! ! DAMAGE DONE WHILE HE OF ! ! TRIES THIS RIDICULOUS ENCHANTERS ! ! THING. SEND TO: ! ! SINCERELY, ! ! (203) 972-2810! ! THE WIZARD ! ! MERLYN ! --------------------------------------- (CUT ON THE DOTTED LINE... FIGURE OUT YOURSLF HOW TO SEND IT) LATER! Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open