💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › hum1.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 09:15:40.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Subject: FW: BEFUDDLED PC USERS FLOOD HELP LINES Date: Wednesday, April 06, 1994 8:23AM > Everyone should have a copy of this. Have fun!!! > > ------------------------- Cut Here -------------------------------- > History of the article: > Title: BEFUDDLED PC USERS FLOOD HELP LINES > >From the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994 > > BEFUDDLED PC USERS FLOOD HELP LINES, AND NO QUESTION SEEMS TO BE TOO > BASIC > > AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't get > her new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp. > technician, made sure the computer was plugged in and then asked the > woman what happened when she pushed the power button. > > "I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," the > woman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the woman > said, "this little white foot pedal with the on switch." The "foot > pedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated device > that helps to control the computer's operation. > > Personal-computer makers are discovering that it's still a low-tech > world out there. While they are finally having great success selling > PCs to households, they now have to deal with people to whom monitors > and disk drives are as foreign as another language. > > "It is rather mystifying to get this nice, beautiful machine and not > know anything about it," says Ed Shuler, a technician who helps field > consumer calls at Dell's headquarters here. "It's going into unfamiliar > territory," adds Gus Kolias, vice president of customer service and > training for Compaq Computer Corp. "People are looking for a comfort > level." > > Only two years ago, most calls to PC help lines came from techies > needing help on complex problems. But now, with computer sales to homes > exploding as new "multimedia" functions gain mass appeal, PC makers say > that as many as 70% of their calls come from rank novices. Partly > because of the volume of calls, some computer companies have started > charging help-line users. > > The questions are often so basic that they could have been answered by > opening the manual that comes with every machine. One woman called > Dell's toll-free line to ask how to install batteries in her laptop. > When told that the directions were on the first page of the manual, says > Steve Smith, Dell director of technical support, the woman replied > angrily, "I just paid $2,000 for this damn thing, and I'm not going to > read a book." > > Indeed, it seems that these buyers rarely refer to a manual when a > phone is at hand. "If there is a book and a phone and they're > side-by-side, the phone wins time after time," says Craig McQuilkin, > manager of service marketing for AST Research, Inc. in Irvine, Calif. > "It's a phenomenon of people wanting to talk to people." > > And do they ever. Compaq's help center in Houston, Texas, is inundated > by some 8,000 consumer calls a day, with inquiries like this one related > by technician John Wolf: "A frustrated customer called, who said her > brand new Contura would not work. She said she had unpacked the unit, > plugged it in, opened it up and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for > something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the > power switch, she asked, "What power switch?" > > Seemingly simple computer features baffle some users. So many people > have called to ask where the "any" key is when "Press Any Key" flashes > on the screen that Compaq is considering changing the command to "Press > Return Key." > > Some people can't figure out the mouse. Tamra Eagle, and AST technical > support supervisor, says one customer complained that her mouse was hard > to control with the "dust cover" on. The cover turned out to be the > plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. Dell technician Wayne Zieschang > says one of his customers held the mouse and pointed it at the screen, > all the while clicking madly. The customer got no response because the > mouse works only if it's moved over a flat surface. > > Disk drives are another bugaboo. Compaq technician Brent Sullivan says > a customer was having trouble reading word-processing files from his old > diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to > diagnose the problem, Mr. Sullivan asked what else was being done with > the diskette. The customer's response: "I put a label on the diskette, > roll it into the typewriter..." > > At AST, another customer dutifully complied with a technician's request > that she send in a copy of a defective floppy disk. A letter from the > customer arrived a few days later, along with a Xerox copy of the floppy. > And at Dell, a technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy > back in the drive and "close the door." Asking the technician to "hold > on," the customer put the phone down and was heard walking over to shut > the door to his room. The technician meant the door to his floppy drive. > > The software inside the computer can be equally befuddling. A Dell > customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. > After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man > was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor > screen and hitting the "send" key. > > Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so Dell > technician Gary Rock referred him to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me > a couple friends," the customer replied. When told Egghead was a > software store, the man said, "Oh! I thought you meant for me to find a > couple of geeks." > > Not realizing how fragile computers can be, some people end up damaging > parts beyond repair. A Dell customer called to complain that his > keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it, he said, fulling up his > tub with soap and water and soaking his keyboard for a day, and then > removing all the keys and washing them individually. > > Computers make some people paranoid. A Dell technician, Morgan Vergara, > says he once calmed a man who became enraged because, "his computer had > told him he was bad and an invalid." Mr. Vergara patiently explained > that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" repsonses shouldn't be > taken personally. > > These days PC-help technicians increasingly find themselves taking on > the role of amateur psychologists. Mr. Shuler, the dell technician, > who once whorked as a psychiatric nurse, says he defused a potential > domestic fight by soothingly talking a man through a computer problem > after the man had screamed threats at his wife and children in the > background. > > There are also the lonely hearts who seek out human contact, even if it > happens to be a computer techie. One man from New Hampshire calls Dell > every time he experiences a life crisis. He gets a technician to walk > him through some contrived problem with his computer, apparently feeling > uplifted by the process. > > "A lot of people was reassurance," says Mr. Shuler. > > > -- > - - - - - End forwarded mail - - - - - > > >