💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › assholes.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 09:07:57.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Asshoes have never touched a girl in
their life.
Assholes think 'control characters' are
police in a movie.
Assholes live in towns with the
population thats under 500.
Assholes wear 'parachute pants'.
Assholes dont play sports.
Assholes have never used an Illegal
substance in their life.
Assholes use handles that are over 3
words long.
Assholes have daisy wheel printers.
Assholes dont have a phone next to
their computer.
Assholes use their real name instead
of a handle.
Assholes have hours on their systems.
Assholes don't own their computer.
Assholes pay to get their modem
installed.
Assholes like Tina Turner, New Edition,
Cindy Lapur, Prince, Madonna, and The
Pointer Sisters.
Assholes are Assholes.....
Assholes Do not know what phreaking is
or asks anyone whether they are or not.
Assholes think that CP/M mean Afternoon
in Central standard time.
Assholes do not notch there disks
because they are afraid they will notch
into the disk.
Assholes have Anti-Static mats under
their chairs so they wont blow out
their computer with a static surge.
Assholes try to use Zoom Graphics or
Print Shop on a Daisy Wheel Printer.
Assholes wear pens and pencils behind
their ears.
Assholes wear the converse high tops
that are 15 diffrent colors.
Assholes do not know the word "Levis".
Assholes wear NIKE shirts all the time
Assholes leave hundreds of bitch
messages on a BBS if the sysop doesn't
have the ware he wants, even if it is
older than what is up.
Assholes also spend three hours leaving
posts bitching at the sysop, when the
sysop can boot Copy 2+ and delete them
in a second.
Assholes spend almost all their time
either at the computer or the library.
Assholes think that the guy who cracked
Pac-Man must be a genious.
Assholes are listening to Culture Club
or Michael Jackson while they are
reading this file, or even touching the
computer.
Assholes have speakerphones.
Assholes hang up when the sysop wants
to go voice because there voice is
still real high.
Assholes like to go to church.
Assholes help their Moms food shop
because they want to.
Assholes write files that have to do
with 100 ways to eat grapefruit, and
like it.
Assholes's moms make their lunch for
them, and drive them to school when it
is only 4 blocks away.
Asshole's parents voted for Walter
Mondale,and still believe what he says.
Assholes get anything they want from
their parents when they ask for it.
Assholes Don't know what carding is.
Assholes live in trailer parks.
Assholes stay at the dinner table after
they are done eating because they like
talking to their parents about school.
Assholes call single drive BBS's.
Assholes should have never been born
to begin with.
(so Mark Anthony poof)
Assholes run boards with the word
"hack" in their title. when the dick
running the board knows only what he
learned from watching wargames
Assholes change their title every week.
Assholes usually get their computer
from an older brother or for chirstmas
Where do they come from is a very very
good question. From my experence, they
appearently came from Christmas, kids
who got modems for a present. These
kids (sometimes over 20 years old) do
not know anything about what they just
recieved, and immeadiatly call
compuserve with their free password
that came with the modem. Once on
Compuserve, they go to help 75 times to
find out what they are doing. After
getting tired of calling compuserve for
17 days straight, they come accross a
BBS number. Which is usually a board
like The TAP Connection or one that is
PD and sucks.
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X