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101 THINGS TO DO WITH A DEAD AMIGA
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Brought to you by the Webbed Sphere ST [513]299-3665
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ASCII conversion by Internal Malfunction, [705]'s ST source!
300/1200/2400, 24 hours a day [705]734-0349 Barrie, Ont.
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Modifications by Wild Dog of Simcoe County Atari Users Group.
special thanks to Atari Master.
[1] You can put an Amiga under a short leg on a table.
[2] You can use an Amiga for a kitty litter box.
[3] You can scrap an Amiga and use it as spare parts for a radio.
[4] You can use an Amiga as a car stop when you park on a steep hill.
[5] You can use an Amiga when your teacher hands you an F of your
final exam.
[6] You can use an Amiga to hammer nails.
[7] You can tie 3 Amiga's together and use them as a jock strap.
[8] You can use an Amiga as a locker shelf if you need more space.
[9] When in fear of power surges you can plug in an Amiga first.
[1O] You can tie 2 Amiga's together and use it as a leg brace.
[11] If you get stuck in mud then you can use an Amiga as friction to
get out.
[12] Use an Amiga as a hood ornament.
[13] When you do your homework, you can use an Amiga as a paper
weight for a book.
[14] You can have a contest on how many pieces you can make an Amiga
into.
[15] If you have muddy shoes you can scrape the mud off on them.
[16] You can construct a raft out of Amiga's.
[17] You can write important messages on the back of an Amiga.
[18] You can grow fungus culture on an Amiga.
[19] If making a geek BBS use an Amiga for the computer.
[2O] Use an Amiga as a book end.
[21] Amiga's can be used as a murder weapon of some sort.
[22] You can use an Amiga as a goldfish bowl.
[23] If you buy an Amiga you will learn a new phrase.. "Fucked Again.."
[24] Instead of flushing your money down the toilet you can buy
an Amiga.
[25] You can raise bees in your Amiga.
[26] Engrave an Amiga and use it as a headstone.
[27] If your favorite T.V. show was cancelled you can throw it at a TV.
[28] If you know how to read, you can use an Amiga as a bookmark.
[29] Rent an Amiga as a roach motel.
[3O] You can use the owner's manual to teach people how to read.
[31] You can use an Amiga as a footstool.
[32] You can use an Amiga as a scratchpost for your cat.
[33] You can glue 1O Amigas together to use as a surfboard.
[34] As a torture, you can make someone use an Amiga.
[35] You can use 2 Amigas as a bookcover.
[36] If out of wood, you can burn some Amigas.
[37] You can set your beer down on an Amiga so as not to scuff your
furniture.
[38] You can see if a Ronco Vegi-Matic will destroy an Amiga.
[39] You can convert Atari ST games to Amiga and watch them flop.
[4O] You can see how much water it takes to short circuit an Amiga.
[41] You can tie an Amiga to a stick and use it as a shovel.
[42] You can drill a hole through the center of one and shit
through it.
[43] You can use an Amiga as a backboard for basketball.
[44] You can take PCP and imagine you have a furry computer.
[45] You can tie an Amiga to your foot and use it as a cleat.
[46] You can use an Amiga as a hubcap.
[47] You can use an Amiga as a wrecking ball on a crane.
[48] You can test your new gun on an Amiga.
[49] You can test out sizes of drill bits on an Amiga.
[5O] You can throw Amigas at 14 year olds.
[51] You can hollow an Amiga out and put secret messages in it.
[52] You can get the neighborhood faggot to fuck an Amiga.
[53] With enough of them you can build a chair.
[54] If you really go for it you can build a table for your Apple
with Amigas
[55] You can use an Amiga as a door mat.
[56] You can wipe your ass with an amiga.
[57] You can use an Amiga as an ashtray.
[58] You can give an Amiga to the needy.
[59] You can use an Amiga as a whoopy-cushion.
[6O] You can give an Amiga an AIDS virus.
[61] You can use an Amiga as a pooper-scooper.
[62] You can use Amigas in a similar way like Lego blocks.
[63] You could use keys from its keyboard as buttons for your
shirt.
[64] You can fill an Amiga with birdseed and hang it in a tree.
[65] If you like hard pillows you can use an Amiga as one.
[66] You can build a black box with parts from your Amiga.
[67] You can let a professinal wrestler sit on an Amiga and fart away.
[68] You can throw Amigas at Prince if you go to one of his concerts.
[69] You can wipe your Nose with an Amiga.
[7O] When you go to church you can put one in the collection plate.
[71] You can use an Amiga as a dart board.
[72] You can buy an Amiga, grease it up, and use it a new sex toy.
[73] You can buy an Amiga an return it in the same hour.
[74] You can piss on an Amiga and then make a 14 year old lick it up.
[75] If you have diarhea then you can collect the shit on an Amiga.
[76] You can let your pet dog sleep on an Amiga.
[77] You can count how many pieces an Amiga breaks into after
you throw it.
[78] You can sit on an Amiga when you go to a baseball game.
[79] You can give this file to an Amiga owner and laugh in his face.
[8O] Raise mushrooms in an Amiga.
[81] If you get mugged show him your Amiga and he'll know you need
the money.
[82] You can feed an Amiga to Mikee.
[83] Give it a funeral.
[84] You can threaten someone by say)ng you'll tell everyone that he
owns one.
[85] Bronze it and place it on the mantel.
[86] You can tell if people are stupid by if they own an Amiga.
[87] If one of your cords are stripped then you can use the one
from Amiga.
[88] Frost an Amiga and enter it in a cake contest.
[89] You can use 3 Amigas as a helmet for football.
[9O] You can see how many Amigas you can destroy in an hour.
[91] You can fart on an Amiga and see how long it takes for it to melt.
[92] You can use an Amiga as a popcorn popper.
[93] You can heat an Amiga and use it as an iron.
[94] You can decorate the ceiling by putting parts of Amigas on it.
[95] Take it for a walk on a leash.
[96] You can use an Amiga as a mailbox.
[97] You can put wheels on it and use it as a shopping cart.
[98] You can keep your pipes in it.
[99] You can keep loose change in it.
[100] Use an Amiga for batting practice.
and if you really want to get rid of it:
[101] Try fixinig it yourself!
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