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< On Impossible Standards (of the Self-Inflicted Variety)
It became a badge of honor
Don't be too harsh on yourself! Yes, with mental illness one can get attached to the fact of being ill. It can be an obstacle in the way to full recovery, but it's mainly a way of coping, a safety mechanism. I don't know where you are in your path to a more balanced mind, but unless it's the late stages of recovery, I would prioritize not to flagellate myself about it, and just accept the fact that for now that's what's happening.
Good luck in your path!
[disclaimer: I'm neither a therapist nor a medical professional, I've just been there and still partially am, so take this with a fistful of salt]
Agree with this take. Very against all forms of defeatism, humans have to be better!
It definitely *served* as a coping mechanism for me, but I won't go so far as to say it was a good (or even effective) one. On the contrary, by fetishizing my mental health the way I did, I probably delayed treatment that would've helped me. I've been in therapy basically my whole adult life, but I'm not sure how truly engaged I was with it; for much of this time, it was just another part of the glorification of the whole thing. Meanwhile, I didn't pursue anti-depressants until I was getting seriously to the end of my rope, and am just lucky I got desperate before my situation did.
I don't beat myself up over it, to be clear, but it's important for me to recognize it for what it was: a mistake.