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My therapist was talking about me needing time to recover, and it's hit me strangely -- recover? I got into some sketchy mental health situations, people intervened, and then I walked away, like it was an auto accident or something. Isn't that the recovery?
No wonder that my ongoing fragility comes as a surprise to me. I'll think I'm filling time OK, making future plans, doing things for me, and then a text from a friend destabilizes me and I'm dealing with suicidal ideation again. (The text was nice! They were caring about me! Nothing strange.) And today, hearing the neighbors have stupid suburban party antics next door makes me furious. Talking with people at a coffee shop and getting venomous, somehow, out of nowhere. Talking at length and finding that my deepest thoughts right now are fuck it, do it live.
And losing sleep wanting soft, gentle touch from the people I care about, who I haven't seen in weeks.
Yeah, maybe I'm not doing that well. And the biggest challenge right now is thinking it's that bad.