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⬅️ Previous capture (2022-06-03)
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I didn't realize how tightly I was caught in the instant-feedback serotonin loop of social media internet, not really, until posting that Speed Dial video. Honestly, I thought there'd be some kinda buzz that this previously inaccessible lock had some progress made decoding it, but genuinely, only a small response outside the circle that had already kept tabs on it.
Which, everyone in that circle, thank you so so much. Your feedback is really what keeps me going. As much as I love attacking the locking mechanism for its own sake, it's no fun to be isolated in that.
And the feeling of isolation hit pretty hard out of nowhere. I was checking every place I'd posted the video four, five times a minute, and it was getting pretty ridiculous and I couldn't stop myself. Thank goodness my psychiatrist already had ADHD in their head, I was not looking forward to hard-selling someone on that. But I'd really like to find something that makes me less vulnerable to dark pattern timewasters.
Positive thing coming out of that: it reminded me how deeply we desire to connect to people when we produce this stuff. Even random likes register on that scale and I'd like to be more responsive in providing that to other people as well. I used to waver a lot on low-content replies, and now I feel much more likely to pipe in a "good job!" etc. because, seriously, everybody's doing a cool thing and a good job.
Hope you are well, person reading this <3