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Children brought up according to "tough love" principles are more successful in
life, according to a study.
The think tank Demos says a balance of warmth and discipline improved social
skills more than an laissez-faire, authoritarian or disengaged upbringing.
It says children aged five with "tough love" parents were twice as likely to
show good character capabilities.
Report author Jen Lexmond said: "It is confidence, warmth and consistent
discipline that matter most."
Life chances
According to the report, qualities such as application, self-regulation and
empathy were more likely to be developed in children whose parents employed a
"tough love" approach.
It found that these qualities made "a vital contribution to life chances,
mobility and opportunity".
The report said these characteristics were profoundly shaped in pre-school
years.
The most important influence is the quality of parenting
Building Character report
The Building Character report analysed data from more than 9,000 households in
the UK.
It found that children from the richest backgrounds were more than twice as
likely to develop the key characteristics compared to those with the poorest
origins.
Additionally, children whose parents were married were twice as likely to show
such traits than children from lone parent or step-parented families, the
report said.
But it added that when parental style and confidence were factored in, the
difference in child character development between richer and poorer families
disappeared.
The report concluded that this indicated that parenting was the most important
influence - and the same result occurred when the family structure factor was
analysed.
The report said that other positive influences included the main carer's level
of education, and breast-feeding.
Girls were more likely to develop character capabilities by age five, while no
connection was found between paid employment of either parent and children's
characteristics.
The authors urged more support and information for families, and for children
with disengaged or low-income parents to be given particular focus.
They recommended that the Government's Sure Start programme should be refocused
as a tool for early intervention, with less emphasis on childcare and more on
development; improved pilots for the Family Nurse Partnership; and for health
visitors to be given an early years role to help with parenting.
'Ambitious agenda'
"There is some evidence that lower-income households face more difficulty in
incubating these character capabilities," the report said.
"But the most important influence is the quality of parenting.
"Confident, skilful parents adopting a 'tough love' approach to parenting,
balancing warmth with discipline, seem to be most effective in terms of
generating these key character capabilities.
"An ambitious agenda for equality of opportunity will need to take the
development of these capabilities seriously."
Ms Lexmond added: "Far from a 'soft' skill, character is integral to our future
success and wellbeing."
Parentline Plus chief executive Jeremy Todd said the charity also supported the
call for increased help for families.
But he said different children reacted differently to parenting styles.
"If we are to reduce the strangle hold of cycles of deprivation, the issue of
how we support families to raise children must be grasped," Mr Todd added.
"We welcome this report and hope that it stimulates debate among policy makers
around how best to support families to transform our society into one where we
top the league tables for outcomes for children and well-being."