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My problem with the fediverse

I have problem with the fediverse.

I have been on it for 3 years, have been posting over one thousand original status, yet I start to find it's not the social network I want.

Don't get me wrong. The fediverse is a decentralized platform for publishing, be it microblogging or any media. It is way better than vendor locked-in silos like Twitter in many ways. But my imagination of social network is a fully distributed system, peer to peer, each individual are free to do anything, and not rely on an instance admin.

You can use the fediverse like that, but then it's not the best peer to peer social network out there, in the sense that self hosting Mastodon is more complicated than self hosting many things, like gemini or Tor, because it was made with federated instances in mind, not peer to peer node.

Unless, you could say, you use some fediverse softwares other than Mastodon, or write your own. It's good, but implementing ActivityPub is no simple job.

Keep in mind that this is saying it's not work for me. People have opposite opnions on things and I respect that. Some say gemini does not work for them, that's ok. But I tend to be emotional with things, and the fediverse simply doesn't give me that vibe I feel here. It's still too "social", too accessible to everyone, and that "everyone" is the last thing I want to see on the Internet.