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presents
The Sower Reaps
by
Bloody Afterbirth
Centre Of Eternity : 615.552.5747 24/12
Home Of Thrill Seeking, Society Endangering Perverted Satanists
!*@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*
Death turns me on.
The terror...like hanging off a cliff with one hand that wants tolet go
but can't...makes me hard. It's sexual. To me.
I don't masturbate. I share an experience as erotic as dying, with
someone else. Their eyes opened wide with fear...like those of a cow that
somehow knows the club is for bashing its skull in...you can see a man's
soul in his eyes, he won't tell you no lies...not as he dies.
I'm purely homosexual. Women, they don't turn me on. They scream. I
can't get hard when I have a headache.
But a man...he tries to fight back. And as he lays there bleeding, and
sees me as I Am, Sower of the Seeds of Death, he doesn't scream. He moans.
Oh god, what a dreaful, soul rending moan it is! It's almost as good as
his eyes...I have to strain to keep myself from climaxing when the Moan
starts.
I couldn't hold it back at first...not when I was virgin...My first time,
a girl. A stupid, silly, screaming bitch. It turned me on the first
time...after slitting her throat...watching her claw at the air, trying to
grab some oxygen...shoving her head into the aquarium...she didn't know how
to use her new found gills.
Maybe the blood was hard to breathe.
But I came too soon. Before I ever knifed her. Her eyes...they turned
me on. I'd never seen such an exquisitely erotic look. She was scared.
She knew she was gonna die.
Didn't know if she was gonna be roasting marshmallows with the Red Man
for all eternity. Didn't know if she believed in heaven.
She converted. Quickly. Never heard the name Jesus called on so much at
one time before.
Someone knows they gonna die, they're Instant Christian.
Like in the Inquisiton. Oh, those boys, ha!, they knew what they were
about! Their god, he was weak, needed souls to satisfy his power lust.
Millions of converts. Millions of sacrifices to a devil in a god's
clothing.
Me, I'm not so weak. Fuck Jesus. I hope I can remember to say that. I
want my last sight to be of a Father looking like somebody shoved his Holy
Sacrament right up his ass.
They think this is punishment, this "death penalty." I'll probably come
as I die. I hope they get it on film. I hope somebody's taking pictures.
They wanted me to stay on death row for twenty or thirty years. I don't
wanna die of old age. I told 'em to kill me now, while I was still young
enough to get a hard on over it.
They wait 20 years, I might learn to like the ass pumping that big black
queer in the next cell gets such a kick out of. He tried it on me, he got a
bigger kick than he expected.
No man wanna have his balls bit off. No man.
Shoulda seen the look in his eyes...he almost started the Moan...hell, if
he'd done that I probably woulda bent over and spread my cheeks.
The eyes...always the look in the eyes...it's intense. I never knew how
it felt to look like that. So I had the Warden put a mirror in here. I
wanna see my eyes as I die.
See if they're filled with the terror-calm.
The Warden and his bunch. I bother them. I make them very
uncomfortable. See, we're not so different, they and I. They don't like it
when they're little Jew wants to be thrown in the Oven.
They want me to cry, to beg. To whimper.
They want to hear the Moan.
I'll moan, alright. I'll moan with the best orgasm I've ever known. I
always wanted to die while having sex.
They don't understand it. No man s'posed to wanna die, wanna die NOW.
Man s'posed to wanna live long, get too old to get hard.
But no. They're like me. They don't want that. Send the "damned
System" to hell, these boys'd have daily executions for all their friends.
Circle jerk, that's what it's all about. A bunch of queers getting their
rocks off watching a man die.
I know what it's like. There's alot of energy in the air...and not just
from the chair. Male bonding, maybe. We all wanna see somebody die. Not
on TV, that's impersonal and cold. Like phone sex or something.
My problem was...I'm a nympho. I got horny. Got carried away. I had to
cut back on sex. Didn't have it for awhile. Bastard in Gainesville caused
some heat, had to slow down.
Ain't healthy for a man to go without sex. Makes a man crazy. Ask the
psychs. They'll tell ya.
Tried to say I was insane. Tried to get me to go along with them, to
keep me alive. Couldn't prove I was loony, except for wanting to die.
I waived my right to live...A man should never pass up great sex.
Man pass up sex, man gets horny.
Hell, everything get a man horny.
I got horny, went into a fraternity.
I got 14 of the bastards. Woulda got 14, but that joe had a cunt with
him...she screamed.
So I left.
And they narced. They're whyI sit in this Chair. The straps are kinky,
I never thought of using them before. I've got the biggest hard-on of my
life. I can see it in the mirror. I got a look in my eyes. I forgot to
tell the preacher. They're gonna throw the switch.
3..
2..
Death turns me on.
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(c)March 1991 Bloody Afterbirth and Toxic Shock