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presents
Driving a slut crazy just for kicks
Written by Fetal Juice
Toxic File #83
(F)'90
So you got an old girlfriend you want to tear the mother fucking
shit out of. Hell it's alot easier and better to fuck up her mind.
You know the type, the ones that will fuck anyone, anyone except you,
just because your 'special' or a 'good friend'. If that's the case
then what I am about to suggest will push her over the edge and boy is
it fun to watch!!!
What we are going to do is make her start thinking you are going
to kill yourself.
1. Get the bitch on the phone and in the middle of a
conversation ask her what she would do if she knew someone who was
going to kill themselves? If she asks who; just say it's a friend of
yours. If she says she'd try to stop him (of course she will say
that) ask her what business it of hers to stop someone from doing what
they want to their own life? Let her respond. And say "fuck you too"
and hang up. See the "fuck you too" is totally out of the corner and
will make her think you are actually serious about the act.
2. Write your suicide note saying why you're going to end it
all. But be clever, write it in code, make a simple substitution
cipher and translate something from a "Readers Digest" (Hey! that give
you something to do while taking a nice long shit!) so it looks legit,
but isn't just incase she calls the psycho ward you can PROVE you
weren't going to do it. Now enclose it in an envelope and give it to
her with careful instructions not open it, in any event except your
"death".
3. They say one of the warning signs is when you start giving
away your possessions, Now do this ONLY if you want the full effect.
If there is something of yours she liked just give it to her. That
there should get the sluts parents involved!
4. If she calls you or somthing try to sound very depressed,
don't speak much, And say "I've got things on my mind, can I let you
go?" She says "sure", You say "Good bye, and I'll love you always"
<click>. If the phone starts ringing in a few minutes don't answer
it.
5. Call her up and ask "Why do you hate me so?", Let her
respond; Hangup.
6. Write some really evil poetry about satan and death and all
that neat shit. And ask her opinion on it, and say "What the fuck to
you know? You slut!" <Click>
7. Draw odd looking figures on your hands in an ink pen and if
she asks what they are, just say, "oh it's nothing you need be
concerned with."
8. Ask her to recomend some very powerful sleeping pills.
9. Get a BIG bullet from somewhere or other and when ever you
are near her make it obvious you have something in your hand, let her
glimpse the bullet, and if she asks about it tell her it's none of her
fucking business and run off somewhere. Appear quite jittery.
10. The kicker... Call her up and say play along with one these
schemes.
10a. Tell her you feel very sleepy and at times "drift" off and
come back, babble about the little stupid things that have happened in
the past, Try to sound like you're about to cry. Then just drop the
phone, put it on mute and listen to her go frantic.
10b. Even better is to get an M-80 and talk to her, as above sound
depressed and on the verge of tears, tell her that you're sorry and
light light the M-80. Let it go off near the phone, drop the mouth
piece after it goes off, press the mute button and listen in.
Have fun. I know I have!
(c)July 1990 Fetal Juice/Toxic Shock