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?????? ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ? ?? Welcome to the .5 issues of PuD. Americas Favorite ?? ? ?
?????? ?? T/File. This Issue Was thrown together mostly by ??????? ?
? ? ? ?? Crowe. From Here on out, .5 issues will be done ?? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?? bye Myself and Hymie. We will do ever other issue. ?? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?? We are the captures of PuD. We are Gods.[one bird, ?? ? ? ?
? ????? ?? one Kangaroo]. Welcome to PuD Vol. 3 Issue 7.5 . ?? ????? ?
? ??????? "One Learns to itch where one can scratch." ?? ??????
? ? ?? -----Ernest Bramah ?? ? ?
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??????
Welcome to PuD 3_7.5
What's with the .5
Well. Hymie and myself (The Crowe) have traken PuD hostage.
Why? Why Not, We got bored.
What do we want?
We (the captures of PuD) would like, in return for PuD, the following
four Items. We want them within the next 12 hours, or PuD .5 issues
will continue. Thats right, bootleg copies of everyones favorite T/File.
First: we want a locke of Talking girls hair.
Second: we want Baphs Sign.
Third: we want NC's Llami
Fourth: We want Gumby to Deliver Pizza to us for free
Hymie? Just what is a Hymie?
Here is what he told me.
From: Hymie #41 @1 VirtualNET
Re: That durned user feedback thingy that I hate filling out
Sigh. So, it's come to this, huh? Well, I'll fill it out. Sure, why
not? Well, As you know, I'm Hymie. I'm kinda busy with skool right now, so
I have not been able to fulfill my duties as official PuD taker-over. Wah.
My hobbies include listening to Pink Floyd, eating stale Oreos, playing
pinball and collecting dust bunnies. I love posting, but I hate joining subs
that run an issue into the hground (i.e. abortion, creatoin vs. evolution,
you know the type).
Umm, I'll try anything once, well, almost anything. I guess it would
depend on the person I was with and what I had been drinking at the time.
Anyways.
Hmm. I think that life in general sucks, lifted only by the occasional
sight of some poor soul in a worse spot than you are. TAts all life really
is. Just trying to find someone who's life sucks worse than yours. i suppose
that's why I hang around baphomet and digital saint a lot.
I'm intereested in just about anything, except the l0ser subs.
Hmm. I can't think of anything bright nd wwty at the moment, so I'll
just sign off
With Goofy Grin
Hymie
=)
/es
Here is the truth.
A Hymie is actually a 6 foot Invisible Kangaroo. Quit your damn
Lying, LaMeR!
PuD
Well. What is PuD really. Have you Ever Read someones post and
thought to yourself, what the hell, or read a post and noticed
that it was full of inside jokes, words, and sayings that only
the writer and thier friends would know. Well you know what PuD
is. One big ongoing inside joke. Damn Otter.
Tennis
Have you ever just wanted to jump out on the court and stab someone?
Me too.
PUD Seinor Editors
Sorry guys. But I have to do this. If you don't like it. Fuck you.
If you do, fuck you very much. Hope it doesn't offend your great
taste and sense of style, but
Star Trek Rulz!
Hacking BBS software
If you want to hack into ANY, that is ANY BBS software, there is a
simple method. PuD has tried it with EVERY known BBS software publically
available. All you need do is login as the sysop. When it prompts you
for a password just hit the arrow keys in this order. Up, down, up, down
left,right,left, right, then a, then b, then CTL + ALT + DEL. That will
give you FULL acess to DOS!!!!
Dough Boy
Dough Boy runs the most half-assed piece of shit BBS I have ever seen.
Talk about LaMe, this sap is sad. Some of you know who I mean. Others
are going HuH? Guess you had to be there, eh?
User Comments
Please send in user comments. We would love to put in what you have to
say. The world would love to here from you. Experience the Achnaad.
You don't have to beleive in us, we beleive in you.
Flies
I hate flies. No really, I hate flies.
Elite
If your looking for elite, K_RAD C00l files and BBS's then look
no further. Call Sanitarium, The Files Demension, And Perfect Anarchy.
Or if your real into it, Call prodigy.
Why?
Why not.
PuD Senior Editors again
? AutoPosts?
So what do you so with that fine feature of VBBS? Well you use them
to tell people how much you enjoy thier company. Here's an example from
one of the 400 hundred local VBBS's...
?????????????????????????????????? AutoPost ??????????????????????????????????
By: Baphomet the limbo king #12
Damn you ALL SUCK. SOMEONE ON ANY BOARD can talk shit. You correct them and
all the little fags start crying. Damn your all sad. Besides 4Dos, not dos 4.0
you idiots, is the only way to go. Ohhh go the fuck back to your Qbasic.Exe
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
By: Suicidal #113
There is nothing wrong with correcting people, just don't be an asshole about
it! Asshole, you suck! As for fag, well, I don't think so. You're the one
who's always hanging on Beanie's right hand side...Hmmmm as for QBasic, C rulz
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
By: NO COURiER #148
Talk a little more mess there, C boy. Programs tend to compile better
under C when the computer is turned ON. This can depend on whether or not
you have electricity....
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
By: Vixen #150
hi... I missed you guys....
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????[4]
Ok. Good point. But I should point out that this has been edited.
Appreantly not to make PuD look god (frankly thats impossible) but
so that NO COURiER shows up instead of NC, which is his handle on Midian.
Other than that it is correct, and takes up some space. Thanx PuD!
Wang Dang Doodle
Need I say more?
Dr. Pepper
Just how fucking stupid does those damn commercials have to get before
they'll stop? Damn LaMe, I must say.
Pepsi
Clear Pepsi? Why? Was 7UP not bad enough for you? Do you need another
blan soft drink. You could just dring perier water and eat your tofu
and bean sprouts.
T.V.
While we are on the subject. Jay Leno Sux. Paul Schafer is an Idiot.
31 is very mis-informed. MTV, well, no words can say how HIP they are,
with their K_RAD BKTV jockey. Garth, Billy, and the rest of CMT, Fuck
off, the world needs country like it needs more nuclear waste dumps.
Nick, green slime is as good as you get. Fox, well, 50/50. Get rid of
shows like Mamma's Fam and the other LaMe shows of that kind and we'll
be ok. Channel 17, good god how desperate are we for another channel.
Heini's BBQ on Jordan lane used to have one of the singers on that show
play for 30 bucks a night on the weekend. Sad. No Really Sad. He got
fired and is now begging for his job back, damn, get a job. Fishing and
golf, what's the point. Tennis, stab them all. Oh, lets not forget bowl-
ing. Home Shopping Club, damn, could not get any LaMeR. The weather
channel, look outside every hour or so and you'll get a better idea of
what the weather will be. And paid programs, well I don't think we need
spray on hair, topsy tail, freeze dried trail mix, auri, Nordic Track
gold, or any more fast money and weitht loss crap. And last but not least
T.V. evangalists. I don't even have to explain this one, do I.
Kicking a Dead Horse
Elvis is dead people. Leave it alone. He took Marylyn, James, and bigfoot
with him.
LaMe
Well, Beanie and Baphomet, LaMe is contagous. Star Trek Rulz.
VBBS is GREAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. Lammi (plural) stink, hence the
phraze Lami Dung. .COM files are K_Rad and FReD is C00L.
Matrix Logins are K_Swass. Mr. Browndrawers Sux. Quick Basic
Reaks, Pascal is GODS language, VBBS gets SUCK CPS rates.
Cyberpunks are E.Z. targeqqqts. Brett is 15. Jose is 15.
Steve is 15. If you disagree with Bap or NC, your LaMe.
If you LIke VBBS your LaMe. If you are steve your LaMe. If
You don't have a theme fruit your LaMe. If you have to ask
Your LaMe. If you use elipsi (plural) your LaMe.....d00d.
If your a VBBS SysOp with 0-3 Day WaReZ your Lame. If you
trade WaReZ your Lame. If you don't know mooga and Roast,
your LaMe. IF you have taken the time to read PuD, your
LaMe. If you have more than one Handle, Your LaMe. Well?
Are you LaMe. Geuss so, you had to ask. Maybe I'll write
a LaMe QuIz....Nah...I am LaMe so I don't qualify...I am
a VBBS SysOp. Bap or Beanman could do it....they're the
experts on this Rare Desease, not doubt from experience.
And for GOD's sake they're draggin DIG down with them. Lord
help us all...free us from this plague of LaMeRs. Rid the
world of all those FReD's and Brownies(who use High Bit
characters for a handle,k00l d00d reqqqally). I guess I
am done now.
LaMeRs
Ok. So I lied. Here's the Damn Quiz.
Speaking of LaMe. Let us all take a deep breath. There now,
We can procede. Relax, Clear your mind. Now get your thinking
caps on and see how well your score stacks up agianst other
LaMeRs. Remember no Talking during the test.
1. Is your handle written in high bit ascii characters?
2. Do you live to read K_RAD T/Files?
3. Do you live to write K_RAD T/Files?
4. Do you love 0-3 day WaReZ?
5. Do you program in QuickBasic?
6. Are you fluent in LS?
7. Is your handle Satan's Mutt, Mr. Brownstone, or Brett?
8. Do you read PUD?
9. Do you like VBBS over WWiV. (I do)
10. Are you A VBBS SysOp. (I am)
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, your LaMe. Each
question counts 10 points each. 0 being the best, 100 being LaMe as
Hell.
Baphomet and VBBS
Well, the world knows Baph hates VBBS. But I have found, by accident
mind you, that he loves Autoposts. He has use them to proclaim his
feelings to all. He Loves to make sure that the world knows of his
anger towards QB and his love of everone. On other BBS's[1] he has
a usual set of posts.[2] As of late I have noticed, a great suprise
to me, that he does not just post hate mail. He actually has friends.
I know this will dissapoint you. But it is true. Here is some of his
most recent autoposts.[3][4]
By: Baphomet the limbo king #11
I am so great that people hate me.
-Real qoute d0udz!
By: Baphomet the limbo king #11
GEE I WISH A CERTAIN SYSOP WOULD FIX HIS HIGH SPEED MODEM.
By: Baphomet the limbo king #11
Sleep?!?!? Who needs it?
Jesus I am so damn depraved.
DAMN I NEED A WOMAN!@!#$@#$!@#$%#$^%#@%^$%^@$%^$%$%#$%@!!! <-Discomfort.
From: Hymie #41 @1 VirtualNET
Re: Couldn't get any worse, huh?
In response to the Modem. FUCK YOU.
No really.
Hymie's Humor
Well, how about this:
I was walking down the street the other day when I saw this girl, right?
Only she was blind. But I didn't know that until I told her that those
sunglasses lloked stupid. But after I told her that, she took them off and
showed me that she had no eyes. So, this kinda bummed me out, but other than
the eye thing, she was pretty hot, so i asked her out and she said she wasn't
doing anything, so she agreed. Then later that week, she called me upt to
tell me that she couldn't go out cause she had gotten engaged and this pissed
me off and I told her that the lst time I heard something that sucked so bad
was when I talked to her momma on Governor's Drive, and then she atrated
crying and she said that her momma worked as a prostitute so she could have
an eye operation, but her mother died when this one guy (who was rumoured to
have fathered a child at the age of two) shoved this red box down her throat
and geez, this girl just went plain nuts.
SOOOOOO, I went oer to her house and tried to cheer her up and I asked
her if she wanted to play charades, not really meaning it, of course, but I
guess it kind of pissed her off cause she sicked her eye dog on me and now my
friends call me one nut.
I guess this wouldn't be so bad, but when I got home, my favourite show,
the kids in the hall, was just going off.
Now, I ask you, could it get any worse than that?
I thought not.
WGG
Hymie
P6=)
Response:
Hymie is funny. No Really. Thats why he exists. That and PuD.
Logoffs
So. You don't like Matrix logoffs. You don't like being asked 1
billion questions. You don't like version Numbers. So. Bite me.
Sorry
I had to get him back.
The End.
Thats all people. Get a life.
Source of Qoutes
[1] Lazy 8 BBS
[2] Constant Ragging People and VBBS.
[3] Posts on Stone Temple
[4] Had to do it, so I could make phun of Baph's PuD's.
Mail.
Send Mail to the Captures of PuD and Beg for their Release.
It won't help.
Crowe 240@2506 WWIVNET or Call Stone Temple at 205-881-2554
The New User PW is Docile.
Hymie 84@2506 WWIVNET
Senior Editors
Baphomet the *.* 14@2506 WWIVNET
NO COURiER 25@2506 WWIVNET
?????? ??????????????????????????????????
? ? ?? ?? ? ?
?????? ??"It Must Suck To be you." ??????? ?
? ? ? ?? ?? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?? ---Baphomet ?? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?? ?? ? ? ?
? ????? ?? ?? ????? ?
? ??????? ?? ??????
? ? ?? ?? ? ?
?????????????????????????????????? ??????
End of the Damn File.