💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › PUD › pud_3_13.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 14:06:45.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?Lines in this issue: 292 Total K-ege du0d: 14684 bytes.?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?uDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpU?
?uD????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????pU?
?uD? PiZzA UndErgR0uNd dIgesT V0luM3 3 Issue 13 Epic 003 Baphomet ?pU?
?uD????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????pU?
?uDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpU?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? "...on to the heart of the sunrise, short, distance..." [1] ?
? ?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Splat. Splat. Splat. Splat. Splat. Splat. Splat. Damn what a cool word.
Splat is just so damn great I thought I would say it just a few times.
No really I figured if I thought it was great you sure as hell would be
be forced to also. Why? Because like I have been informing you all along
I am the one higher power you should all worship. And how do we worship
the mighty Baph? By sending monetary donations. Money. Gods like money.
It's makes us happy and it will sure as hell get you the afterlife of
your choice. So send some in today. Reserve your place in your own view
of heaven for only 19.95.[2]
? Squinkinator. PUD stuff by Squinky.
/ \
_| |_
/ \
/ \ Non Hard Penis
\_________/
( )
__|||___
/ \ M.A.N.D.Y. Model of Sex Droid
\(.) (.)/
| |
\ /
/ \
| |
_______
/ \
\ /
| |
| |
| |
| | PEnis, After Viewing M.A.N.D.Y.
| |
| |
/ \
\ /
\/_ ____________
/ ______ / M.A.N.D.Y
/ / \_________ / /\ doing
| (-) | \ / / \ its/her
_ | | \ / \ job
/ \ _ | ___ / / -------------- \
_ ---\ | |
_ | \ _____________ |
\ _ / | (/) | / \ /
| \______/_____________ / \ \ /
| \ \ /
\ \________
\/_
\
-------------------------------------------
| Old Sex Droids Home |
| Plus |
| Home of the Beatrice Arthor Breasts | M.A.N.D.Y.
|___________________________________________| going in the back door
| _____ ______ | after 300 years of
| |_|_|_| |_|_|_| | service. It seems
| |_|_|_| |_|_|_| | her breasts just decided
| |_|_|_| |_|_|_| | gravity was the superior
| | PH0RCE!
| |
/\ | | ( )
/ \ |---------------------- BaCKDoOR| ___|||___
/ \---------------------- | ___| / \
| | / \ | | /
| | | || | |
\ / ---------------------- | | /_| |_\
\/ ----------------------| \___ | | | |
|------------------------------------------ |.| |.|
|_| |_|
This ASCII-Mation is not in any way copyrighted. However, the method to do it
is. Also, ASCII-Mation is copyrighted, by the U.S. Government. Please do not
misuse this vALUabel tool, which could be used to produce some Erik - Mandy
flicks, if I ever get around to it.
Special Hello to Erik BLoodaxe, because the Gutzalpus press is publishing
away.
? INC:=PuD?
I would like to take this time to announce the greatest of happenings in
the whole modem world. After many weeks of pure begging and ass-kissing
we[c00l du0dz at pUd] have decided to let INC in our group. At first we
were extremely wary of allowing such a pathetic group of people anywhere
near our fine wholesome publication but after all that ass kissing I for
one felt it was only right. Sure they're a bunch of cry-baby sissy punk
old-ass game releasing freaky warez du0dz but in that respect they excel.
And Hymie thinks that some of the members give the best blow-jobs in the
whole world. So with thier way-cool attitudes and wonderous skills in
life we felt they would fit right in. So we decided to let all of them
in the group, even though crowe thinks that most of them couldn't tie
thier shoes if it wasn't for mommy and I whole-heartedly agree.
? The <STAMP>.
I wish to form a formal apology to Squinky. I am so ashamed...how do I
say this. Squinky I am sorry that you have been branded as a PUD member.
I know your life must be trash now. I wish there was something I could
do to make up for this horrid turn in your life, but alas I too have
been branded as a Pud member and well the horror of it is at times even
too much for me to handle. So be strong and proud and never let them
get you down. [For those who don't know, which is all of you, Squinky's
usernote on a k-C0ol BBS was "Pud Member". I say I am sorry again to him
for this horrible stamp on his life.]
? Ooops!
You know I just now found this, a little out of date and such but I had
meant to include it in a pud so here it is anywayz du0dz. For those who
cry you've seen this before I got his message in early may...
Fenris Wolf
Re: Hello.
this is a simple warning about MickeySoft's antivirus product
which is included in DOS 6.0 . If you are using it, you might was
well be wearing a bull's eye and screaming "I'm a sucker.. come and screw
me over". That's right, MickeySoft is the root of all evils.. From
them came WINDOWS.. I shiver in sheer panic.. and then.. OS/2.. I'm still
rolling on the floor laughing. And now, they can't write their own
antivirus program. Oh well. At least it was funny in the 1/2 hour it
took to find this little tasty slice.
Anyway, enough of my blathering.
call INTERRUPT 13h, with AX=FA02, BX=0000, DX=5945 (all hex)
FA is the function code.
02 tells it to return and change the warning options (ie, what to
allow/not allow)
BL is the new options. a 1 is set, a 0 is off. SO, 0 means
all of them are OFF.
DX is a constant to make sure you are a legitamite caller. YEAH. RIGHT!
It MUST be 5945h.
It will return the old set of options in CL, so if you want to be really
slick, you can set them back after you've had your fun.
To test this out, use DEBUG. It is a strange thing to look at your options
and see them different then they were just a minute ago.
Whatever use you put this to, give me some credit, somewhere.. somehow.
And I would appreciate if this got distributed... let everyone know the
follies of MickeySoft.
-- Fenris Wolf
I must give credit to Ford Prefect, who told me where to look.. I explored
beyond what he told me though, and found the beauties of it.
Now we all know how I LOVE THE SHIT out of moneysoft. SO any time you
have any thing you would like to see posted about them, send it to me.
I will include it. Bill gates ]I[ is the anti-christ. Always has been,
always will be.[3]
? Why I am not elite.
It has recently come to my attention that I am not elite. After a call
to squinky in which I learned the values of lying on the corner in
public and using a payphone I found out how k-c0ol I wasn't. Umm well
screw it I was going to list a whole bunch of things that make me not
k-c0ol eLitE but I believe they are all more than obvious anyways.[4]
? Desperate Times.
Short Story by: G-Bunny.
Sun. Brightness. The warmth. It was going to be another great day I
thought as the sun shone on my back warming me throughout. The air was
fresh the food tasty. And oh how that sun shone. Around me the world
was at peace. Living in harmony. Perfection in nature. I hopped slowly
to and fro looking for something fun to do. Alas it all seemed so
boring on such a fine day. What was a g-bunny to do? Ahh the warmth of
the sun. Slowly preening a bug off of my leg I hopped off towards a
large pool of water. Ahh how relaxing it must feel to be in that cool
crystal water. The sun's heat penetrated my entire body. Life. Sweet.
Wonderfull. Divine. I reached the water and slowly bowed my head. Peck.
After Peck I drank water to my heart's content. Ahh how sweet it tasted.
The gentle sun, the wonderfull life ahh...suddenly the pain came again.
As it had every day. Stabbing. Running through my body. Liquid death.
Flowing in every inch of my body. Draining my life. Killing me soul. It
came and it came fast. I became weak, to weak to stand. I fell. The
sleep overcame me how could I resist it was so divine to sleep.
"Test Subject 3c," the man in the white overcoat began, "seems to be
reacting to the drug nicely." He finished writing in data as he watched
the rabbit in it's small cage. Sometimes he wondered if what he did was
right, hell rabbit's don't think he said and at that decided to go home
and sleep.
? [MaF]
?
?
??????
??
??
??
???
???? ????
?? ?? ? ?????
?? ?? ? ?????????
????? ????? ? ? ???
? ?? ??? ?? ???
? ???? ??? ? ? ?
? ? ??? ???????????????? ??????????????????? ?
? ??? ???????? ??? ????????????????? ?
? ???????? ? ? ?
? ?????? ????????????????????????????????????????????
? ??? ??
????
?? [Southern Harmony]
? Support Sites.
Loser places that have at least once issue of pud, for better or for
worse. Note Project-X has 0dAy PuD WaREz and Caustic Contagion [12 years
or younger] has like 7dAy PuD WaRrrEz. Du0udeeez lIfE Is GrEat If YouR
in INC.[5]
Project-X 300-14.4k (205)882-0894 Sysop: Acoustic Saint.[6]
Caustic Contagion 300-14.4k (817)776-9564 Sysop: Uncle Henry.
Cybernetic Violence 2400-14.4k (514)426-9194 Sysop: Some guy in SPaM.
Obloid Sphere 300-14.4k (758)965-3098 Sysop: ???L????
JoE's BaR n GrIll 2400-14.4k (914)658-3748 Sysop: Bob.
? Qoute Sources.
[1]: Yes. _Heart of the Sunrise_.
[2]: And if you act now get your free John the baptist wet spot cleaner
of souls for only 2 dollars! That's right! No more slimly little
wet spots to worry about again!
[3]: Duedz Moneysoft is k-c0ol! Who else can spend years on an operating
system[windoze nt] and have it come out sorrier than the present
day version.
[4]: Qoutes are well.
[5]: ...or PUD for that matter...
[6]: When and if you call in ask him about how rewarding common household
appiances and furniture can be sexually. He knows.
[7]: Pure Energy after NO COURiER'S funeral when he wanted me 'to go
back over to his place'. I felt so sorry that I had to refuse him.
One day I hope I am able to take the place in his heart that other
such illustrious members of [NuKE] have. But I doubt he can really
satisfy me sexually.
? Mail addresses and such.
Send mail to:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Squinky 247@2506 [He also has this REALLY shitty
UUCP feed that doesn't work.]
Hymie 86@2506 or [mpruitt@uahcs2.cs.du.edu]
Crowe 240@2506 [He burns animals, for fun.]
NO COURiER 36@2506 [He's still more dead you know.]
Baphomet the Limbo King 14@2506 or [crfisher@nyx.cs.du.edu]
----------------------------------------------------------------------
FReD tHe ManAgEr Off at his new job as head of this really
swell day-care center, he enjoys the job
immensely.
Mooga the Whale Forming her own hip-MTV band.
The Brave Little Toaster Missing! Last seen robbing a 7-11 for some
clear pepsi and some beef jerky.
Roast Traversing the state at which he now seems
to exist to mere mortals.
Biscuit Finding out why most rabbit's names are
something like 'thumper'.
G-Bunny Working up a sweat.
Released on the date: Sat 06-19-1993
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
? Closing Qoute: ?
? "So I was thinking, baph if you aren't doiny any thing..." ?
? - Pure Energy[8] ?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????