💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › PUD › pud_3_12.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 14:06:43.
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.TOPIC:MAIN
.COMMENT:
Entitled: Indubitably Questionable ASCii by [MaF]
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?MaF????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?
? ???? ??? ???? ??? ???? ??? ???? ??? ???? ??? ???? ??? ?
? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?
? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ?
? ????? ????? ????? ????? ????? ????? ?
? ????? ????? ????? ????? ????? ????? ?
? ?? ??????????? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?
? ???? ??? ??????????????????????????????????? ??? ???? ??? ?
? ?? ??? ~Introduction~ ? ??? ?? ??? ?
? ???? ???? ~Button:Eleven Reasons why Huntsville is so Huggable Text:From 3/6~ ? ???? ???? ???? ?
? ?????? ^^^---Color Selection by [MaF] ? ????? ????? ?
? ????????? ~Damn, We Suck~ ? ????? ????? ?
? ?? ???? ? ~The CyberFarce Movement Explained~ ? ???? ?? ???? ?
? ???? ??? ?? ? ??? ???? ??? ?
? ?? ??? ????????????????~Making Yourself Heard~ ? ??? ?? ??? ?
? ???? ???? ???? ???? ????? ~PuD GLe3 III!~ ????? ???? ???? ???? ?
? ????? ????? ? ? ????? ????? ?
? ????? ????? ? ~Addresses~ ? ????? ????? ?
? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?? ? ? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?
? ???? ??? ???? ??? ???????????????????????????? ??? ???? ??? ?
? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?
????????????????????????????????"I've got that o/DaY feeling again"?????????????
.END:MAIN
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.TOPIC:Eleven Reasons why Huntsville is so Huggable
.WINDOW:2,3,5,7,8,9,1,1,70,17
(In no particular order<Sitting under a
streetlamp reference<inside joke>>).
1. Everybody knows C and ASM in Huntsville
7. Mortal Kombat is Huntsville's favorite pastime
4. Messages are always on-topic
3. BBS's are fast-paced, original, and fun
9. You can drink a lot of it, and it tastes cool
11. Tooth counting is a very valiant skill
24. I don't live in Huntsville
?. It's snuggly-soft after every wash
2. It's snuggly-soft after every enema
60. It's snuggly-soft after every Never-Ending story
10. It's less filling than concrete, and tastes better than
trichinella-infested raw pork.
.END:Eleven Reasons why Huntsville is so Huggable
------------------------
.TOPIC:Introduction
.WINDOW:4,0,9,0,5,0,5,2,72,20
This PuD has been written for one reason: It was time for another.
That's it. Period. As far as I'm concerned, the issue is finished.
Out of the kindness of my own heart, I'll give you something to
read so you don't have to bring those Little Golden Books to EFF
meetings.
The following was written with the intent of being included and
published with PuD 3/6. As we all know, NC died unexpectedly and
the issue was never finished. Most of the work was lost in the
fire.
We managed to find this, and the 11 Reasons why Huntsville is so
Huggable. These are the only things that can be shown for PuD 3/6.
Lets us keep in mind that the TEXT version of 3/6 WAS released, but
it was only about 50 lines of ranting and raving over the fact that
those who read the txt versions are too sad to use HyperText.
This came from 3/6:
We at PuD find it necessary to 'fill you in' on things you need to
know, and opinions you must partake in. This is a key element of our
master plan to in finality rule the world. This devotion; dedication
to the modeming fools' right to know and be misinformed, is what
drives us to tell you that what you have read so far is old and
outdated, and what you will read when you commence to PuD 3/6 will
also be quite... stale.
This is no fault of ours. This is all your fault. We expect you
losers to say something, no matter how much you hate us (and I know
most of you do). We expect you to voice your opinion; make public
your thoughts; seek the reaction of others when you speak what you
feel.
There have not been many submissions. There have not been many
really sad, despicably lame messages to crack on. All in all,
Huntsville is almost lacking in its daily wallowing of lameness. This
will not happen. I know it won't - It's only a phase... a V/X board
went up; even a Celerity BBS <Running under VBBS, of course> has come
to HSV. Wow. Is Huntsville too elite for us?
Anyway, anything beside lack of correspondance could, when viewed
from the wrong side of the glass, be viewed as possibly - maybe - just
maybe our fault <just a wee little bit.> Like any red blooded
American, I'm lazy and I like being that way. The only way I like to
apply energies is when trying to find a way to be more lazy. Baphomet
is worse about this than I am. We just sort of... cruise... with
PuD when we want to. It just sits around while we go about normal
everyday Northern Peruvian life, and we get back to it later.
Sometimes, we get back to it a little bit too much later.
In any event, the response to and demand for PuD has been
overwhelming - for Pierce the Pokeable Potato <dig> especially.
Thanks a whole shalooqua for your support or whatever you call it. We
would like to give you more, but as a whole you idiots don't deserve
even this much.
Let me go over some of the PuDrific things you can do for your
native South American country, and how to do them:
If you want PuD, E/Mail WWiV 2506@36 or 2506@14. If you want to
call a BBS and get PuD, call Project X at 205-883-0894. If you want
to speak with a sysop, E/Mail Digital Saint 2506@1 WWiV. If you want
to do your thang via InterNet, mail Crfisher@nyx.cs.du.edu. If you
would like to make an anotomical gift, call 1-205-351-0829. If you
would like to know the current time and temperature in Decatur,
Alabama, call 1-205-355-3131. If you have reached this recording in
error, press 1. If you would like to be an official PuD DiQQQst SiTe,
just proclaim such on your BBS, and everybody will believe you. If
you want to be honest, E/mail 2506@36 or 2506@14 and we will probably
tell you to do what you don't want to. If you want to submit to PuD,
write something and send it in via WWiV Email to 2506@36 or 2506@14.
If this is an emergency situation, dial 911.
Baphomet the Limbo King 2506@14
NC 2506@36
**<DEAD>** ^^--THIRTY-SIX!
Update:
Baphomet the Limbo King 2506@14 WWIV
crfisher@nyx.cs.du.edu
Amanda Marie Fisher 2506@36 WWIV
Hymie <Baphomet Jr.> 2506@86
mpruitt@nyx.cs.du.edu
mpruitt@uahcs2.cs.uah.edu
God@Mount.Olympus.com
Hymie@Hymies.Hidey.hole.org
Crowe <SToEN> 2506@240 WWIV
BBS: 205-881-2554 NUP: Docile
Squinky Still Dunno
.END:Introduction
-------------------------
.TOPIC:Making Yourself Heard
.WINDOW:4,0,6,0,7,0,2,2,75,16
NC was a great guy. He was swell - cool. He was really cool with the
way he would log on to a VBBS board just to crack on the sysop. He was
swell with the way he made everybody disagree with whatever he said. He
was swell the way he was so widely hated and mistrusted.
PuD Self-Help:
How to make yourself heard -
Sadly, a lot of people would remember word for word what NC would say to
them. They would also go over every aspect of the message simply to find
loopholes to dwell in and manipulate in order to try and wrong NC.
People remembered what he said - about SuperBBS, about warez, even about
his dislike for Axl Rose <Who does like him?>.
Here's how to make yourself heard - and remembered - like NC did when he
was still alive:
Be an asshole.
.END:Making Yourself Heard
------------------
.TOPIC:Damn, We Suck
.WINDOW:2,0,4,0,6,0,1,1,45,18
THe PuD GLee KLuB
INSTaLLMeNT II:
J0Ze BaR N GRiL 4eVeR
by fReD
LeT Me TaKE U DoWN 'CuZ Im GoIn To
J0Ze BaR N GRiL
w/LeMMiNGz 2 KiLL
AnD EVeRY 1's GoT AN ACCoUNT
J0Ze BaR N GRiL 4EvER
LeeCHiNG iZ E-Z W/ EyEz CL0zED
It's D0WNL0AdInG All U SeE
It"S GeTTiNG HaRD 2 UpLoAD WaReZ
"CuZ itz All RiGHT THeRE
It DuZ InT MaTTeR MuCH 2 Me
dU0D! ThATZ AlL! U THuT DeR WuZ MooR!
Hoo HaA!
.END:Damn, We Suck
------------------
.TOPIC:The CyberFarce Movement Explained
This article goes out to all of those self-proclaimed CyberPunks
that you see on BBS', on TV, at the grocery store, and in your
computer science class <asking how to run a program>. This article is
for those you see holding "Will Neuromance for Food" signs, and for
all of those bullshit broadcasting networks that think they keep up
with the techno times <That's YOU, ~MTV~. That's YOU, Billy Idol.>.
This is The CyberPunk:
The CyberPunk works at some low-paying part-time loser job, making
just enough cash to pay for his InterNet account and tickets to "The
Crying Game." The CyberPunk can be seen clearing tables at "Denny's",
and waiting for comic book shipments at the local bookshop.
The CyberPunk thinks he has some literary knowledge. The CyberPunk
tries to act and seem more intelligent than he really is. The
CyberPunk likes to gather enough information on many subjects to make
it look as if he knows it all. The CyberPunk likes to make you think
that he is experienced with mind-altering stimuli and maybe even
explosives.
The CyberPunk is a reject of the human race who tries to make up for
this mishap by theorizing the advent of armageddon. The CyberPunk
doesn't care to know anything. The CyberPunk just wants you to think
he is really sophisticated.
The CyberPunk knows nothing about computers. The CyberPunk knows
nothing about computer telecommunications. The CyberPunk knows
nothing about modern culture, and definately does not know how to
distinguish culture from fad.
These are The CyberPunk Believers:
The CyberPunk Believers are those who wish only to cash in on the
latest fad. The CyberPunk Believers believe the words 'Fashion' and
'Counterculture' are interchangeable. The CyberPunk Believers wish to
inform you that The CyberPunk is more than a product of personal
failure and low self-esteem.
The CyberPunk Believers, misinformed themselves, want to shed
this warped and twisted view of modern society upon you. The
CyberPunk Believers wish to spread their inability to distiguish
between True and False unto you.
What is the cause that lies behind The CyberPunk?
The CyberPunk did not spring up overnight. The CyberPunk was not
created by technology. The CyberPunk was not created by abstract
literature written by authors of no talent. The CyberPunk was not
created by Dr. Timothy Leary.
CyberPunk is the product of failure. CyberPunk was created not by
role playing games and books, but by losers seeking a bandwagon to
hop on.
CyberPunk is the bandwagon. Failures hop on this bandwagon
and head for the future.
Too bad. The wagon is headed the the wrong way.
.END:The CyberFarce Movement Explained
---------------------------------
.TOPIC:PuD GLe3 III!
.WINDOW:3,0,6,0,4,0,1,1,68,12
BaBe E G0T WaReZ
I LiKE THeM LeMMiNZ n' I CANN0T LiE.
n OtHER dU0Dz CaN"T DENy
cuz' WhEN COURiERS STaRT TO RaCE aND UPLoAD LeMMINGz TO YOuR PLaCE
YoU GeT STRuNNNNNNNNNg!
WaNNa' LeeCH iT QWK
CuZ U NOTiCE THAT MeSS WaS ZiPPED!!1!
LEMMiNGZ DiSK 2 JuST CAMe In
I;m H00KeD An' I CAn't ST0P PLAYiN!
Oooohhh ???\/\/?S??/\/?!
U GoT NiNJa GADiN!!1!1
LeT"S Do S0ME TRaDiN'~!`1
My MoMMy TriED To DiSS U,
BuT \ShE D0N'T N0 U GoT
K-K00L DESQViEW!
B0000MM! EaT My GRaPE JaM!
U SaY U WaNNa MeG MoRE RaM?
WeLL BRuZe ME, PuNCH THeSe!
I G0T SPeAKErZ ANd CDS!
I SeEN 'EM LeeCHiN'
2 HeLL WiTH reCeiViN'
He'S NeAT
PeTitE
WiTH CReDITS AnD A RATi0 To MeeT!
I'm TIrED Of MAGaZiNEz SAYiN VGA WaReZ Is THE THiNG!
WiTH 2 K0LoR K-KooL CGA
ThE OnLY GaMEz WE PlAy.
Sooo... SIGHSOPS!@!
YHEA!~
SIGHSOPS!1!
YHEA!1!
YuR VNeT G0T ThE WaReZ?/?
HeLL YHEa!!11
ThEN LeeCH It!
LeeCH It!
LeeCH It!
LeeCH iT!!1
LeeCH THAT RS WaReZ!
BABe E G0T WaReZ.
<Rest of Transcript Determined Unreadable.>
.END:PuD GLe3 III!
------------------
.TOPIC:MTV
.WINDOW:1,6,4,0,7,5,1,1,76,17
We're not very nice.
Will you dub us as a Neo-Nazi Marxist White Supremecist Hate Group now?
I think you will.
Do you know why I think you will?
Because you SUCK,
everything about you SUCKS,
GET OVER IT.
[Quote originate by Baphomet, and is the expressed copyrighted PROPERTY
of Oooga, Incorporated. We at PuD reserve all rights to all
statements and literature released by us, and may take affirmative
legal aciton via fReDz WHoLESaLE LeGaLZ-r-Us WArEH0Wz if you use
this material without sending us a lot of money.]
.END:MTV
-------------
.TOPIC:Addresses
.WINDOW:5,0,4,0,9,0,1,1,78,23
??????????????????????????????????????????????????? ASCii by [MaF]
? ??????? ????????? ???????? ????? ??? ???????????????????????????
? ? ????? ? ?? ?? ? ? ???? ? ?? ?? ? ? ? Baphomet the *.* ?
? ? ??? ? ?? ?? ? ? ???? ? ? ? ? ? ? 14@2506 WWIV ?
? ? ??? ? ????? ? ? ???? ? ? ? ? ? ? crfisher@nyx.cs.du.edu ?
? ? ????? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?? ?? ? ???? ? ? ?
? ??????? ??? ??? ??? ??? ????? ?????? ? ???????????????????????
? ????? ? ? ???? ???? ???? ??? ? ? ?? ????????????????
? ? ???? ??? ? ? ? ?? ??? ?? ??? ? ? ? Mandy Fisher ?
? ? ? ? ??? ? ? ???? ??? ???? ???? ? ? ? 36@2506 WWIV ??
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? VMB: 205-351-0829 ?
? Hymie 84@2506 WWIV ? ???????????????????????????????????????????????
? mpruitt@nyx.cs.du.edu ? ?? THAT'S USER NUMBER THIRTY-SIX, NOT 25!!11! ?
? mpruitt@uah2.uah.cs ? ??????????????????????????????????????????????
? god@mount.olympus.com ? ??????????????????????????????????????????????
? sheeza@brick.house.org ? ? ?
? ? ? SQUINKY ?
? ? ? <unknown> ?
???????????????????????????? ? *************************************** ?
??????????????????????????????????? TO GET PUD AND TALK TO LIVE SEX NYMPHOS ?
? CrOWe 240@2506 WWIV ? WHO WANT YOUR SHAWINGIE, CALL: ?
? BBS: 205-881-2554 NUP:Docile ? Project/X by Digital Saint 205-883-0894 ?
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????