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??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?PuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuD?? PUD: Pizza Underground Digest (c)1993 Oooga Inc. ?
?PuDP????DP?DP?DP???uDPuD?????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?PuDP?DP?DP?DP?DP?DP?DPuD?? PUD Number 1, Volume 02, Chapter 27, Epic 01     ?
?PuDP????DP?DP?DP?DP?DPuD?? Release on the Date: Mar 25, 1993                ?
?PuDP?DPuDP?DP?DP?DP?DPuD?? Line contained in the issue: 192                 ?
?PuDP?DPuDP????DP???uDPuD?? PUD Serving the modem public since Late Feb. '93 ?
?PuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuD?? For Help and Info look elsewhere.                ?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

   "Long Distance RunAround, Long time waiting to kill the lamers..."
                                                        -Flesh Groing

 ? Mail

      I will wait till later to include any gr00vy-waRe-hAppY mail.

 ? Welcome.
 
	  Yes welcome back to the greatest publication to ever grace your little
   attempt at a computer screen. PUD, is now and will always be the choice
   for the difinitive LaMeR. A place to voice your views, get cracked on and
   laughs at stupid asinine indside jokes. Already refered to as a CULT the
   member and general readership of PUD need to unite. Why? To destroy all 
   who oppose us! For what greater goal? None. Just to do it. Why? Because
   NIKE said so, damn you.I have to say a great thanks to NO COURiER for 
   PUD:1:14. It was well, funny as hell. I cried when I read that inside 
   joke super riddled one-sided thing. It was just fucking phunny[LS]. Well 
   now on with the digest of crap.

 ? Things that piss me off.
										
	  I shall now list for you a few things that piss me off greatly.
	  
	  VBBS: It just fucking sucks. I can not believe how many people think
            that is is worth a shit. It is slow, written in quickbasic and
            just plain pathetic. ! and $ From the main menu? Yes it sucks.
	  Ugly Children: I mean what can you say? They are UGLY. You can't tell
            thier parents, you can't crack on them. You can't just gun them
            down in broad day light. You just have to suffer when you are in 
            the same room as them.
	  Corners: Hurt like a bastard when you fall on them...
	  Windows 3.1: What can I say. It is pretty. But other than it reaks!
            damn I have an OK computer and it still is slow and slugish
            no matter how much you play with it.
	  .PIF editor: Well you would think Mickeysoft would make it easy for 
            you to edit your DOS program .PIF's but NNNOOOOOoooooo. They
            have to have this stupid lame-ass pif editor. Maybe the will
            take a hint and Copy OS/2.
	  Smug Salespeople: Who think they are fucking great for working a shit
            job. Ooh I am assistant clothes folder at <insert half-way nice 
            store> and I am so great. Yhea you'll be great when I piss on 
            your dead body.
	  Lousy Speakers: Like at fast food places. You'd think the dumb fucker
            behind the counter would get tired of, "free fbuergers
            ketcvaup onlie?". But oh at Taco Bell I dare you to try and
            order 3 BEAN burritos, you'll get beef every damn time, then
            you have to explain to Juikola the dumb-ass bitch running 
            the register that you wanted BEAN not god-damn fucking BEEF!					 
	  WaReZ doodz: How much more of a one-dimensional loser can thier be?
            Well the only one close is the VBBS sysop. These great burdens 
            on the modem society serve no other purpose than to get the 
            hottest shit and then sit on it, unless you have something 
            they want in exchange.
	  QVC: ...what can you say? What kind of sad-reject of life do you have
            to be to watch this channel? Do warez d00dz wacth this channel?
            What's sad is the list of people I can name off who do...
	  Fouls: Ever played basketball with a bunch of white people who think
            they are great? You barely touch them and they whine foul.	Big
            bunch of sissies. I hate them. I hate everything about them.
            They suck. Bad. Really.	And just think I'm white, I guess that
            makes me a racist, oh well, everyone is they are just afraid to
            admit it.
	  Weekends: They aren't long enough.
	  PGA: It eventually runs out.
	  MTV: For thinking they are saving the whole world. They aren't. In fact
            they are already corrupting the most ruined generation know to
            man to an even worse state. Gee that's too bad...
	  Girls: Not women but girls. You know the kind that have boyfriends but
            still have to keep up that flirting just in case this current
            guy doesn't work out. Could a guy do this? 
	    	     		   
 ? Star Trek.
 
	  ***WARNING!***: All Star Trek freaks please stop reading now!
	  If you keep reading you may get offended. If offended we here at
	  oooga inc. will be in no way responsible for the following things,
	  lost toes, brain cells, WaReZ, left toenails, right toenails, 
	  various bodily entrails, any part of the cardiovascular system,
	  damage to the face, hands, ear, throat or close family, nor dead
	  car battery's, altenators, flat tires on snowy days, broken hearts,
	  marriages, friendships, sad VBBS boards, pathetic top40 music, 
	  MTV, QVC, various child molestings, the occasional son-mother
	  affair, the general public, the president, his wife, his ugly-ass
	  daughter, that stupid fucking little rat of a cat they have, the
	  end of the world, the second coming, defcon4 the awaking, any 
	  encounter with dead, long forgotten SSI agents, spasms, spam, green
	  eggs and ham, rice patties, acid, ice, mace, or any other, "wish
	  I had a real copy of the draw, because society has shunned me,"
	  ANSi[ls] phreaks. Also oooga discounts any claims to illegitimate
	  children, stolen phone signs, booths and other assorted phone
	  parefanalia, spelling correctly, caring, conforming, crippled
	  shareware, stupid programs you have to install from floppy, dirty
	  socks, dead llamii, stolen toaster, toaster ovens, toaster pans,
	  toaster pockets, toaster microwaves, toaster cars, toaster planes,
	  toaster sex, and lastly god. Now on with the earth shattering 
	  comment.
	  
         Star Trek sucks.
	  

? Plageristic Visions of Goat Masturbation.

			 x	   x
              x ??x   ?   xx        ?   ?  x
  x      x     x?x?? x ? x  x     x  x   ?x 
   x    x       x  ?  x?x    x   x   ?x  x
    xLax       x?x?    x  PuD x?xx   ? xx?
    Fxxe      x ??x   x?x      xx?   ??xx?        Written xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    #xx7     x  ?  xix ?oxg  ?x?x?nd ?x  xairy			  ^By fReD.
    x  x    x   ?  ?x  ?  x ?x   x   x   ?x
   x    x  x   x???  x ????  ?????  x?   ??x
                x	 x
                 x  x    Presents
               ?  xx*COWS* ??              ?
                "Cxxcken.. <and Stove Top?>"
               ? x  x      by              ?
                x    x   xhxsxmxn<By fReD
               ?            ??             ?

        I bet something you don't see everyday is someone who can name
every different type of *COW*. Surprisingly, I can...  I don't know
if this would prompt me to be proud of myself or *BE PRESIDENT*.  I
really haven't decided yet.  Actually, knowing every breed of *COW*  has
a lot of distinct advantages that few of you realize or even care about.  
First of all, it's a good way to meet women <or men as the case may be>.
Quick example:
              
              You're standing in line at the butcher after a hard days 
              work, and you realize the person in front of you has made
              the wrong selection of *COW* and could be getting a better
              value.  After you overcome the anger that by now has 
              boiled up in your blood over how society has shunned you and
              forced you to learn everything there is to know about
              *COW*, you courageously step in and help that person
              choose the *MAMMAL* that is right for them.  Your eyes meet and
              you realize this is the person of your dreams... Isn't that
              how Alice and Sam met on the "Brady Bunch?"

By now everyone on the store is impressed with your knowledge, and here comes
another big plus.. People are asking you to customly select the *COW* that is
right for them.  What better way to meet people than choose their *COW*
for them?  Wow, now the biggie... You can make money!  Yes, money and
no college degree or experience is required.  Just visit that old circus when
it comes to town, and tell the ringmaster you can communicate with *COWS*.
They'll immediately get your own little cage, a funny hat, and a little cup
to hold out for people to put money into.  All you've gotta do is 
alphabetically list the types of *COWS*, (Example: "Ancona, Andalusian,
Australorp, umm yes, Bantam, etc.") and occasionally throw in a seizure or
two.  That's right, people will pay to see that! Now I hope you realize the 
human mind IS a terrible thing to waste with all the opportunity out there...

PuD AVAILABLE IN 3379.234 COUNTRIES. <SORRY CANADA!>

Ok...ok..enough of that...All I have to say is thanks to BLaH for coming
back and writing some more funny-asss shit. So of course to thank them, I 
stole from them after all one theft a day makes you a mack-daddY-k_rAD,
hippty-h0p, fojustisu, toshiba, MACIDAMIA, hyro-gushmi wArEz D00d. Ok so
I made the d00d part up sue me.


? Mail. Send mail you god-damn lamer leech freaks.

      Send mail to:
	
      FRed the Hitman:           Any board with that k-RaD NUV!!!!
      The Ostrich King:          Any c00l, elite 0 day ware only board.
      Baphomet the Limbo King:   14@2506 WWIVNet.
      BrAvE lITtLe ToAsTeR:      Home warez department, JCPENNY's.
      NO COURiER                 36@2506 WWIVNet.
      SaTan'S mUtT               (205)-880-9566 ask for steve cuss him
                                 out he will really, really enjoy it, BTW
                                 tell him PuD sent you. Or better yet call
                                 his vision-x .82 2400 baud, 2 meg HD 
                                 board at (205)-650-0302. Hack away.


               ??????????????????????????????????????????
  ?????????????                      Ending Qoute        ?????????????????????
 ??  "And the man said unto the child, You shall perish for thy sins that    ? 
 ?  you have committed. To which the young child replied, Fuck off...       ??
 ??  Hence the man beat the shit out of the child. Head the call."        ???
  ??????????????????????????????????????????  CONFORM!  ??????????????????
                                            ????????????