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? PUD: Pizza Underground Digest.                              ? Feb. 22 1993 ?
? Issue 1, Volume 1, Chapter 1, Epic 1.                       ????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

        "You suck. Everything about you sucks. Get over it."
                                                        -Baphomet.

? PUD. Why?

      Why not is much more the case. PUD was a rude joke about a certain 
  local sysop. He was rank. He didn't know anything but was assured he
  knew everything. His most famous exploit other than locking a bunch of
  people out of his board over a little misunderstanding, honest we didn't
  mean to give so many people sysop access, was his PIZZA.TXT. It would
  probably be the most vile thing you have ever seen, that is why I refrain
  from posting such a travesty here. Other reasons? Well NO COURiER and I 
  were reading a bunch of newsletters from a group called, BLaH. Imagine my
  amazement to see a group of individuals as rude and uncouth as NO COURiER 
  and I. Well joining them was the first thought on both of our minds, but 
  why join when you can just start up your own little LaMeR publication.

? WaReZ. How to get them.

      Somewhere else you damn lamer. Warez have no place here. This is a 
   forum for public bashing of all topics. No matter what.

? Conspiracy.

      Your line is tapped. The FBI watches you constantly. Of course this
   only applies if you run a really big, 20megz!, 2400 baud, 2 day ware
   board. If so, watch out they are after you.

? Topics.

      Topics to discuss. Anything and Everything. If something bothers you
   then send mail to NO COURiER or I and we will include your grievance in 
   the next issue, that is of course if we like you. If not well that is 
   just to bad for you isn't it. Stories, Poetry. Well why not all damn 
   little mock publications like this have them, so send your in. It will 
   get put here.

? Pizza.

      Emm-hmmm. Send in those recipes.

? Rules. 

      Rule number one. No public thrashing of VBBS. There are no bbs
   packages as well put together as this fine piece of QuickBasic coding.
   If you crack on here you will be publibly humiliated. 

? Lies.

      The above was a complete and utter lie. VBBS sucks. Worse than you.
   there is nothing lower than VBBS. Except maybe a typical VBBS sysop. 
   Gee, I hope that didn't offend you because if it did, too fucking bad.
   QuickBasic sucks. "But the VBBS comm routines are in ASM!" SO what!?
   The bbs still is slow, pathetic and well worse than anything mankind 
   will ever see next to Delta Burke and Rosanne bar in a lesbian scene.

? Coming soon.

      Since both NO COURiER and I liked BLaH so much look for a format 
   sort-a like it had. In other words, any where from one to five issues 
   a day. On what? Whatever. But all letters will be greatly appreciated. 
   Why? Because we value losers like yourself and your sad-ass input. What 
   do you say when you write in? Whatever in the fuck you feel like. It 
   doesn't matter crack on me, crack on the US goverment crack on a 
   <BLANK>. Just as long as it is though-provoking, well as long as it is
   more than one word.

? How to get in touch:

      Baphomet the Limbo King   WWIVNET 2506@14
      NO COURiER                WWIVNET 2506@36

? Support Boards.

      See line 32.

??? End of PUD 1:1, "Remember drinks aren't always cold."                  ???