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   += poor      old        ugly         pompous     electronic   yams #4 =+

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 $$         $$  $$   $$   $$  $$        $$          $$   #4
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                      A large wiener dog
                      ------------------

      A large wiener dog.. barks against a duck..
      Silly dog.. that duck is sacred and rough..
      I ought to kill him string him and eat him..
      Instead I think I will tie him and beat him..
      I tied the Dog today.. and called him dildo..
      He makes a great pet.. and I just needed a rhymO..
      I haven't completed anything in this poem.. but who cares?
      What of the DUCK.. why are there fleas in my hair?
      For some reason.. there was once a poodle..
      Oh wait this poem ended leagally.. the second I molested the beagle.
                
==============================================================================

              "An Average Day in Nybar's Life" - by Nybar + Fro Boy

                 First, Nybar woke up. And it, was, goooddd.
                It had to get worse.. boyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
                 He went downstairs, and ate some food..
              And presently.. bit a bee.
                   He didn't know why this had to rhyme..
                   .. fRobOy insisted upon it,
               bees were going to be the theme of this story..
                aye, he had one in his bonnet <he has a bonnet?>
                jC said bees make honey.. and they polenate flowers to.
               We looked at him as if he was crazy, and said
                `whats wrong with you?!' he felt his forehead, and it was
               hot, `I THINK I HAVE THE FLU!' we stuck a thermomater up
              his ass, and `OWWW!!  that stings!' quoth he.
               To our shocking suprise, we then surmised.. he had been
              stung by a bee, in the knee. Nybar said `I'll get the ointment'
              and he then did blow his nose...  `I'm going to rub this on
               you.. so your eyes you better close'. `AHAHH! GET AWAY FROM
                ME!!' quoth mighty jC.. `it is but a mere sting, from a bee.'
           Then froBoy<eeeeee> did speak `Shut, be quiet, I ask you please..
              for you 2 talking together, is like the buzzing of bees.'
               `Oh go to `ell' then nybar did speak, for he had had enough
              of this rhyme.. he never got to use `Your the bees knees'
              .. so fare thee well until another time.

============================================================================

                      =---------------------------=
                            Lo, Coffee is Good   
                      =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

              Oh, coffee, how I love thee.. morning noon and night..
               You help my brain wake up.. and make me feel alright.
              Oh, coffee, how I love thee.. you fill me with caffiene.
            You splash around my bladder, and excrete through my spleen.
             Coffee is truly wonderful.. Lo, coffee is good..
               Whyohwhy I love thee so much.. I ne'er understood.
                 Ice Coffee in the Summer, Ice Coffee in the spring..
             and when the snow is lightly falling, hot coffee is the thing.
               With a draught of heavy cream.. and aroundapound of FRUCTOSE..
             Coffee would be not as good.. if you were intolerant of LACTOSE.
              Though there is much more to coffee.. we must say goodbye..
             As you drive the road of life, don't spill it on your thigh.

==========================================================================

                         Nybar  VS  The Yum-Yum Tum-Tums
                         -------------------------------

           your probably thinking to yourself right now
           `why the hell am I READING this crap!?!?!?'
                 I still don't have an answer.
           and besides... very few are. but.... lets cut to the walrus..
            your stomach wants to know if this is some kinda P0UpEY
              rAd crossover thingie..  well.. I heard they were trying to
               eliminate cats.. and I WORSHIP cats.. and in the supposed
                future of the yum-yum tum-tums.. they controlled the place..
               with anti cat crap. But in MYYY timeline.. CATS AND CAT
             WORSHIP WAS DA THING!# <Some witty.. inspirational thingie>
            yeah! pretty boys say fudge.. I SAY FOOK!!@!!#@!# YEAH!!
             YEAHYEAHYEAH! ok I'l shut up.
             heres the story.

       ------------------------------------------------------------------
       w0o0o0o0o0o0ooo0o0o0oOo0o)OOO)O).. watch out for scary people
       ------------------------------------------------------------------
                         
       The yum-yum tum-tums.. my ollddd enemies. showing there faces again,
      ok.. not just showin em.. taking over amerikaa. well someeone was gonna
     get killed..andit was gonna be them. not me. there were thousands of them
    .. there were one or 2 of me. And my ragged band of misfits who resented
     being called a ragged band of misfits.. but .. they were..
     <cool show down music plays> there was poopety pants.. who could throw
      poop at people. Next .. there was Mr. Stupid.. who could almost
     recite the abC song. then there was fro boy.. one of my only followers
      to survive the war of the zine jerks, his powers are almost limitless..
       heres an creepy third rate new york ascii artists conception..:
                  ( *************************)
                 (   **  - - )  ) +|  ) ******  ))
                  **  ****|******************  )   ) )
          (one one billionth of the actual size of the middle of his fro)
     -

            --------------------------------------------------------------
            < MUIEN PENIS!!    > -  :|----< - - - - - - - -    (====|||   
           ----------------------------------------------------------------

       and then..... there was fizzy pop. The epitome of rebelion.. he was
        a pop bottle of destiny. His carbon whatever could kill. And he
         tasted better from the bottle.
           Yeah.. they were misfits all right. But never lamers..
            The yumyumtumtums were goin down.
            awwwwwwwwwwwww yeah boyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
            downnnnnnnn to the groundddddddddddddddddd.
    boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeee.
            so anyway.. we found whatever the leader of the yum you know
          fookin wot. And we shot him. and he was dead. fro boy commented
           `yeah.. we killed em dead'

                     End of Crap

 =============================================================================

     ummm.. yeah.. heres a.. damn.. what? roll credits.. NONO! another story.

                                 THE TEST
                                 --------

               wuz I good enuf to pass da test in da hood boyeeeee?
             my mannn.. gFUNK jC siad "Youse needs ta takes da test"
            I said "No"
            he said "Yeah boyeeeeeee"
            I said "later this year"
            ... later that day I took the test.
            ohh yeah test wuz I had to write a story in 5 seconds flat.
          so I did. and here it is. yeah........ here it is.
          here commmeeess the test. (this is the story I wrote for the test
          coming up) I bet you can't wait. ok enuf filler heres the test.
          righttttttttttttttttttttttttt here. righhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhtt
          heeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
          ok for real no more doody crap here it is:` yes my name is nybar.
          yea.. this is the test. I like cats. thanks'.

      ===================================================================   
      Watch out for the poupey movie! it isn't coming.. but it would be neat
      ===================================================================    

           I passsed da test. there was no point to this story.. that issue
          of poupey wasn't long enuf.. hey.. hey..not like theres a point to
         ANY of the stories.. OR IS THERE?!@!?#!3

             TO BE CONTINUED NEXT ISH WITH---THE POINT TO THE STORY!

=============================================================================

                      in the last story I said there would be a point.
                    DIES ISS DA POINTTT!!!!!!!!!
                   BBBBBBBBBBOYYYYYYYEEEEEE!!!!!!

                       Pointstory
                       ----------

             The point of these  stories is.. well..
            ummm.. yeah.. .. coffe.. ahhh..
         hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..
        lemme think.. hey JC.. any point..
       no not really... but there MUST be one..  hmm..
      poupey stands for poor old ugly poupous electronic yams..
     what the HELL does that mean?:) .. I think we just chose a word
    then to make dae acronym we chose thing randomly from books...
    or not. hmmm.. i wonder what it would be like to ACTUALLY live
       in bumblefuck.. or in mantucket. I think I wonce said something
      about colonel sanders.. well.. he WASN'T in any DAMN War except MY
     war... and I kicked HIS ass!!! maybe the point was to fight the man...
    waitasec.. I'M the man.. ok.. I got it! stories by me are to fight jC..
   stories by Jc are to fight me!! it's.... pretty.. lame.. and stupid..
  but the best solution to the point so far..
       damn out of space.. ok.. I SWEAR on a stack of bibles (I'm a card
      carrying aeithest!! hahaaaaqhra23%@#%@_#($@!-39!!!!!!!!!)
    NEXT time.. the point will be revealed. FIGHT THE MAN<tis>!

  TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!  (the next one should have some stuff by jC in it.) 

===========================================================================

                ------------
                |    P     |     O      U     P    E     Y  -
                |    (.)   |     --------------------------
                |__________|
                                  THE     LEGACY

                            intro.

                   no more of the times of old.. of merry wine dinner and
                  dancing. no more of frolicsom earthly pleasures. these
                 were to much for us now. I leave this document for anyone
                  who might be out there.. interested in what occured to
                   make the phrase "Alternative `zines" a thing of the
                    past.. and why it was synonimus (damn.. still can't
                     spell) with one name.... "NYBAR".

   ----------------------------------------------------------------------
        tis a sad time indeed. even jC lie dead.. and only I remain
   ----------------------------------------------------------------------

                        SEPTEMBER 4th, 2026 -the beggining of the end

               This segment of the sad tale tells of my meeting with
               a certain "Lady Ishkabilla, the Chicken Fortune Teller"
                She may have had the body and yes.. head of a chicken..
   $  $          but she was clear of mind and true of spirit. ALAS
    $             for the jerks who had eaten her after that fateful day.
   $$$           For in a fit of mirth I informed the jerks of my meeting
                    with her through a story I wrote for poupey. This
         is that story..: LADY ISHKABILLA, prodigy, fortune teller, chicken.
                         So anyone I was walkin down the street when
                        I comes to farmer brown and I decide to check out
                         his chickens if ya know what I mean. One of the
                       chickens was particulary interested in me. She got
                     my attention by saying "Is that a banana in your pocket,
                    or are you just glad ta see me?" so I unzipped and found,
                  INDEED.. there was a banana in my pocket. I gave it to her
                   for her magic spells and she was so grateful she told me
                    this..  "You will kill alll of the `zine JERKS out there,
                     POUPEY WILL REIGN SUPREME IN THE END!!" being quite
                          freaked out, I ran home and typed this story.

                                 END STORY

                  2 days later.. Lady Ishkabilla was found DEAD..
                       with these letters marked on her butt... "`Z J"
                        `zine jerks had done this.
                      it, truly.. was the beginning of the end.

                     TO BE CONTINUED WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT!!
                    NO SCHEDULES! I AM THE ONLY ONE LEFT!! MUAHHH!!!!!!

                 |----------|  P  O  U  P  E  Y
                 |   (.)    |  ---------------------
                 |__________|    T H E   L E G A C Y

              Part 2 (original name isn't it?)

          As seen in last story, Lady ishkabilla predicted the
         end of all kewl ``zine doodes. I didn't really take her
           seriously.. I mean, she was a walkin talkin chicken
                fortune teller of the lemurian variety. this story
             takes place 6 years after that. It documents the fall
             of colonel sanders, and aye, the council of the them
              themselves, and the rise of an even more terrible
                organization.... `Zine Jerks, Unlimited. (ZJU)
                  And ahh.. heres the story.. y know... ahh yeah:

                        VICTORY!!!!!!!#!_(*$)$#@*@#$+* -Nybar
                   I WON!~!!@#_# I WON!#_@#($+@#($+_!!~#(!@_$+($#@+
                 okoklissenlissenlissenthisisgreatmuaahhahh2       4$@!
                SO me and HARE@I$@H$HHHAHAHAHAHAH!@#!@$+ ok lemme start
               over.. MUAahWIE@hQRD;qreoh$_$#840-  842311.. ok.. one
                more time.. BWAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAH!#@#2
                 ah fuck it snake face can tell it.
                 so.. here he is. Things had been developing for some
              time now between the small club, `zine jerks, unlimited,
               the commies, the ghost of edgar allen poe, and the
                  council of the them. We, the freedom fighters, got a
               report from a dying squirrel that they were all 
                  converging, with the whole council of the them being
                  there, 3 representatives of the ZJU, and almost
                 every commie leader. Also, for an extra added bonus,
                   the emperor himself was going to be there!
                     COLONEL SANDERS!!!~#!@#
                    We knew that for this many people there must
                  be something big in the works. Big like my penis.
                     Fro boy said that there had to be mucho security
                      for an operation like this. He would take care of
                 outside security, while me, jC, snakeface, and yip yip
                   would infiltrate the insideee, boyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
              If we could successfuly take this operation out, we would
                 have won the blood war of over 60 years. Ahhh.. DAMN
                      the cot (c.ouncil of the them).. DAMN the cot.
                 Every thing went smooth initally. Fro Boy took out the
                     guards, I went in the 10'th story window (I can jump
                    real high.. it's MY `zine) snakeface and yipyip went
                 in the back door. And jC just kinda went through the wall
                 ...I guess it's his `zine to. I overheard a conversation
                       between the evil clone of richard nixon and
                   colonel sanders. It seems that what they were attempting
                     to put an additive in peoples chicken which would make
                      them `ZINE JERKS!! MILLIONS OF PEOPLE CONSUME THAT
                       CHICKEN EVERY DAY! THOSE EVIL FIENDS!!@$_1429=
                       Something had to be done. I ran down some corridors
                        randomly, and eventually bumped into jC, yip yip,
                       and snakeface. We decided we would blow the place up..
                     so anyway we were getting ready to blow the place up
                      when we ran into.. THE EVIL INSURANCE SALESMAN ARMY
                       OF 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
                        Don't ask me how all of them fit in one corridor..
                       or one building for that matter. All of us being well
                        insured, it was a terrifying spectacle. If we decided
                       to run.. they would get us.. I mean, there was a
                        frikkin lot of the buggers!@#*$)@#$
                         but then.. yipyip saved the day. He said "I WILL
                          HOLD THEM OFF! YOU GUYS GET OUTTA HERE!!"
                          <well.. actually.. he said "Yip!Yip!" but..
                            if I said he said that it would spoil this
                     dramatic moment. actually.. loosly translated
                         that means "Get me the HELL outta here!!!">
                  So we ran and ran and ran, and then we blew up the building.
                No thats a stupid ending. So we tried to blow up the building
                 but no one had any matches. So I called all the members
                  of my cat duck cow cult to me.
    Over: 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999

       ----------------------------------------------------------------------
        I don't NEED a spacer.. but.. umm.. wheres j0ltCola? ask him
       ----------------------------------------------------------------------

              But then all the insurance salesman in the universe came.
             And there was a war. But the cats ducks and cows won.
              Sadly.. there were only five thousand left of them.
             But, one of them had a match. So we blew up the building.
            WE HAD DESTROYED OUR ENEMIES! WOOHOO!!!!!!#!@$_
          Then.. a sagging mass of flesh landed on my head. It was yipyip.
           wellll.. he was getting kinda annoying anyway.
            so we buried him in our back yard and poured beer over him
             as a way of saying goodbye.
                      END!!@$_$@ FINISHED@_@!$@!$ IT'S DONE DAMNIT~#)!@#

     -------------------------------------------------------------------
      I want $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ please
     --------------------------------------------------------------------

                We were so happy, we didn't realise that the ZJU had been
               unaffected by our infilitration, or that the ZJU tainted
              chicken had reached the open (and black) market.

             Next, I continue my sad tale <dramatic music plays>

                               FIN <I'm a fish (gluggluglug)>

         P  O  U  P  E  Y
                    -----------------------
                     THE   (.)  (.)  LEGACY 
                              |
                            ______
                           |      |                  

                 FALL      OF     A   `ZINE
                --------------------------------

   The ZJC.  hicken was placed. The `zine world was falling.  Y0lk.. pdp..
   everything.. things of the past. For some odd reason.. poupey survived.
   Maybe it's because we know better than to eat colonel sanders chicken..
   he's reached out with poisened chicken beyond the grave before. Or
   maybe it's becuase everyone else on the `zine scene are lame by
   comparison to poupey. Anyway.... heres how all in poupey but I..
   Nybar.. KEEPER OF WaReZ!#213! fell.

     -----------------------------------------------------------------------
           :(:(:(:(:(:( - awww.. even the spacers are sad :(:(:(:(:(
     -----------------------------------------------------------------------

                  It was sad this.. watching all the other `zine people
                 dropping like flies. I TOLD them not to eat KFC chicken.
                Now ALL of them were gone but the poupey scene.
                  Then.. I heard some knocking at the door...
                   ohh.. some adorable `zine scouts. selling there cookies.
                  I bought some for everyone and we all dug in. And we had
                   milk.. to. jC was the first to eat them. He ate 6 before
                  any of us could start. Then.. he went WILLDDD!!@#~
                   and said "BOW THE THE ziNE JERKS!~_#" and shot his
                  jC ray at froboy. Then.. what happened to froboy was
                 odd.. instead of being hit.. he yelled "NEVER@!$#_*($#@!"
                and dissepeared into his fro.  Then I grabbed jC and threw
                 him off a building.. but he bounced.. and bounced.. and
                  no one knows where he ended up. Then.. I found snakeface..
                 Dead.. he bit himself on the tounge with his poisined fangs,
                  by accident. Well.. he never DID write any stories anyway.
                Then.. we found farmer zed.. he had killed yipyip mewmew
                 and all the rest of the poupey crew cept me N froboy+jc+
                 snakeface. So I killed him. Now.. all there was was me.
                  But I knew how to take the ZJU down.
                     Heehee.. the next day.. my "ZJU CONVENTION" signs
                    started appearing. The whollleee ZJU attened.
                   And then the building blew up. MAUAUAUAHAHAHAUAUAHH!~#!@#

                          NEXT AND FINAL CHAPTER COMING UP.. -EPILOG

                  P  O  U  P  E  Y
                        ----------------------
                      THE                LEGACY
                              EPILOG 
                         <FINALLY!!!!!!!!>
               ---------------------------------------------
               ********************************************)
               
           So everyone in the `zine world was dead or a jerk but me, Nybar.
                So what?  I don't think anyones worthy of reading this
              anymore. So this is just to explain sum stuff. First of all..
               you phear me <bow..bow> .. next of all.. sO DO YOU!#!@#
              AhAHSHASHASHASHSHASH!#!@$#!$#@_$(+$@(!@$E+_(@!$_+($@!_@!$(!@$
              sooo anyway.. what was I Doin.. ohhhhhhh yeah.
               I bet your wondering how me.. the nybar of the past..
              knows all this crap.. well.. sometimes I can see into the
               future when it rains. Or maybe all of this was just a bizzare
                dream of mine. No one will ever know.

          ---------------------------------------------------------------
                  This part is called: THE RETURN OF POUPEY!#!@#
           -----------------------------------------------------------

             2 hours after all of this happened.. I was drinkin coffee.
              And beer. And wine. And soda pop. And water. And toxic waist.
             All at the same time. mixed together ya know.. I called it
            brew. So anyway....  Then.. something appeared.. first.. a fro..
             then.. FROBOY!#!@# HE HAD come BACK!@#!@# YEAH@$)(+$@#$+@#$
              and then.. JOLTCOLA JUMPED OUT OF THE FRo!@#)!@#
               YEAHYEAHYEAH#@$_(@#+$ And then.. THE ANDROID DOUBLES OF
                EVERYONE IN THE `ZINE WORLD JUMPED OUT OF THE FRO!@#$#@
                 YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHEYAHEYAHEYAHEYAHEA@!$@!$+
                  so everything was back to normal..
                    finally we get a super happy ending.
                   sadly.. the fro was to puffed up.. so froboy couldn't
                    control it. It destroyed the universe.

                                END

==========================================================================

                           "Moralz!! story!!" - by Nybar

                      WHO THE HELL NEED MORALS?!?!?
                    I MEAN... YOU READ THE FRIKKIN STORY
                   AND THEY STICK WHAT IT MEANT IN YOUR FACE!!
                 YOU READ!!! THE STORY!! YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANT!
                AND WhAT ABOUT WIENER DOGS?!?! TO QUOTE FROM THE IMMORTAL
               MR.T.. "THEY PLUMP! JUICY! I PITTY THE FAT FOO'S!"
              DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS A PRARIE DOG VACUME?!?! VACUMES UP
             THE LIL BUGGERS!!! AND THEY SELL FOR THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN
            JAPAN!!!!$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!
           I HEARD AN OLD SONG TODAY!! "THE YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAARRRR OF THE CAT!"
          HMM.. IS THIS SOMETHING THE WORSHIPERS (OR MORE ACCURATELY THE
         WORSHIPER) MUST BRING ABOUT?!?! HAIL CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        GETTING TIRED OF YELLING!! MUST RAP IT UP!! RAPPPPPPPPP BOOOOYYYYEEE
        EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
        EEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

                  <wheres the beef?!?!?>

                   The Moral Of This Story Is No Moral Is Good Moral..
                 damn.. suppose this is a baddd moral.. then again...
                  ANY moral is badddd moral
                               larom doog si larom on si yrots
                                                                    
                    siht fo larom eht.
                      
===============================================================================

                            "pHAT" - by nybar

                   I recieved a judicial restraining order today.
                 another one. no workin me mojo in public..
                yada yada yada. lets check the mail.
                 bill, check, <censored>, taxes, jury duty.. WHAT?!
                YES!!!!!!!!! YESYESEYESYESYES!!!! JURY DUTY!
               so I went and I said "Thank you thank you very much"
              and I kissed the judge and I kissed everyone there and I boo'd
                 the defendant but I was the only one to say that (it was
                a hermaphrodite) it was innocent. so we had a reckless and
               passionate romance. another one. make my head hurt.
                so i paraded congress demanding equal rights for purple
                 things. but I get no respect from purple thingies.
                  now I kill em on sight. please, don't let purple things
                   into the house. I decided to do a clever subliminal
                    message about them.
                               here it is right now:
                      Kick purple things
                      In the ass
                      Like a mean person
                      Lalalalallalala

                      Poupey rooles
                      Ussr is extinct I think
                      Ratfink.. hereeeee have some cheeseee
                      Poopoo.. one word or two?
                      Lakes of water from mr. penis
                      Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww

                      Stupid idiot
                      Tough idiot
                      Upside-down idiot
                      Fluffy idiot
                      Floppy idiot
        ----------------------------------------------------------)_____
        --------------------------------------------------------- )
          ok I admit it the spacer is stupid. but I liked the whatyamacallit
          umm I forget.
          end story
          END IT@~!~#!@$
          @#%)@#*%@$*$@)!+$@*!@+$)*
          
                  #%-() () 00000 =

==============================================================================
                             
 "some people just eat mice for the aftertaste"
 by - mogel

        so i was going to the supermarkey & this chick turned the corner on 
the street in front of me & for some reason she thought i was stalking her 
but i wasn't & she ran away from me in terror a few blocks later & i felt 
really bad about it 'cause i'm dumb & then i got to the market & there was 
some guy in front asking for change but i didn't have any plus i wouldn't 
have given him any anyway 'cause i'm a poor college student fuck him fuck 
the man fuck the police too.

        i got into the market & i got some fruit & ramen & apple sauce & 
ginger ale & the chick at the register gave me her phone number but she had 
blue hair plus i have a girlfriend but i was polite & took her phone number & 
i put it into my pocket & now it's sitting in the corner on my floor.  it's 
hot & i have too many fans & i need to go shopping again soon.

        so fuck you.

==========================================================================

                        Where the HELL is the remote?!

                 I wuz lookin for a remote. yeah.. a remote control.
                to the TV. Yeah.. where the HELL wuz it?!?!~!#214
                 I cudn't find it... someone must have took it.
              whoever did wuz goin'ta be sorry.. veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy sorry.
                a guys remote is sacred.. nahh.. actually I think they
                change chanels..  WHERE THE FUCK IS THE REMOTE?!?!?!
               so I jumped out of the 4'th story window. I ran into superman.
               he said "Oh hello c.." and I said "GIMME REMOTE!!" and killed
             him.. with my barreee handsss.. no kryptonite. he didn't have
            the remote thouhg. then I found donald duck having sex with minni.
           I always knew he was just WAITIN for a chance to two time micky
             mouse. so I called up mickey on da fone. he came and really
            kicked donalds ass. then he fucked minni. but then.. I saw a
            glint in his panties. THE REMOTE! THAT BASTIGE HAD STOLEN IT!#@$%
           HE WAS DEAD!~@R%Q% so I grabbed the remote and pointed it at him
          and said "GAMMA RAYS GAMMA GAYS GAMMA RAYS!!$ DIE YOU KOOTCHY FIEND"
         and he shriveled up and died. then I killed minni..... she was gettin
          old.. what kan I say?
            oh yeah.. in the upcoming election.. VOTE POUPEY!
           (if you vote republican you are an accomplice to there crimes..
           and bills a be-otch)

=============================================================================

                      The peeping tom fairy and other scandals

             Everyone has their theories on the so called "TOOTH FAIRY"
             So here is mine.. oh crap I forgot.. this has to rhyme.
             Why do you think she TAKES the teeth?
             She's Sick I tells ya! She Looks and peeps!
             One night, lil billy was asleep in his bed,
             All confident that, the tooth fairy would come,
             And re-imburse.. the loss to his tounge.
             Oh yes she came.. and took his teeth..
             And then she took him in her arms and said "Lets go cheeks"
             On the way to molestO land she pick up a moose..
             No like bullwinkle.. not like a goose.
             And when they got there.. she whipped him and beated him..
             She stuck a stick up his ass.. she basically molested the....
             Boys ass and his.. penis.. And then he filed a civil action
             suit.. but what was to be done? could the peeping fairy be evil?
             Could she be illicit? or is she in cahoots with the judges
             and conservists? is she in cahoots with the REPUBLICANS
             and the REPUBLICAN CONSERVISTS.whatever that means. really.

=============================================================================

    Stupid Things I Hate <as seen on TV> -Nybar

   Porno films are soooooooooo repetitive!!!!!!!!
    "Hello dolly!" <SEXSEXSEX, parents walk in> "LOOKS LIKE FUN!"
   <SEXSEXSEX> I mean.. ppl just don't live these kind of lives!!! (though we
   wish we did... ohhhhh yehahah damn forget it)
  And what about vampires? Pretty damn stupid.. eh? What I would do,
 is get a job as a pizza guy, say "Hey,.. Pizza Guy!
  can I come in." hhahahaa.
 And I would take all of they're money as tip. Whatabout Gilbert Godfree?!
 Ohhh.. if I ever meet him on the street.. he is mineeeeeeeeee.
  What about Oprah?! HER FAT GETS THE RATINGS GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!
   And Rockey and Bullwinkle! they rulea. And howabout superheros?
    "MUST.... BREAK.... TITANIUM... STEEL............... BONDS!"
   Why not kill off a few, FOR GOOD SUPERMAN!  to let us know you care?!
  I wish I could live 40 years with out aging. WHY DO SKELETONS DANCE??!!?!?
  IF GODZILLA COULD TALK... WHAT WOULD HE SAY?!?!?!!? CAN'T THEY MAKE THOSE
 DAMN ZOMBIES MOVE ANY FASTER???!!!?!?!? SOME WORLD THREAT! ALSO!! THE
  INFOMERCIAL..... <joltcola runs in> "WHAT ABOUT INFOMERCIALS?!?!?!"
 <joltcola grabs sedative, pokes it into me>
           -Fin    -(Thats french for "Finished")

============================================================================

     :)--- (he's not happy.. he just thinks he's happy) -Nybar

       One day, I was riding the giant blue
      doggy to the candy planet, and he said "I am playdoughdog!" and I said
        "YOU ARE NOT!" and he said "YES I AM! AND I AM NONTOXIC!" so I ate
       him. Hey.. what can I say.. I WAS HUNGRY! So.. I was stranded in outer
      space, when I saw.. ELVIS! I grabbed hold. We eventually landed on
     poupey planet. Then, bugs bunny popped up from his hole and kissed me.
       Then, there came light. And on the seventh day.. he rested. THE LAZY
       BASTAGE! HE HAD A JOB TO DO! WHAT THE HELL WAS HIS PROBLEM?!!
      Anyway.. after running from Elmer Fudd, I saw... A SHARK! So I rode it
     to deadland, where I saw the president. I ordered sharky to kill him and
    he did. Then I fell asleep (or woke up.. as some historians recall)
      Ok anyway.. I was asleep/awake.. and I was in crrrraaazzzzzyyylaaandd..
      WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
          I thiks tat I hav ta sing!!!!!!1
      LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
      then.. the shark had squeeled.. and the CIA agents made me go to sleep
     or wake up.. whatever... and then hillary kisssed me. so I killled her.
     the forest was a happy day    that day. then I decided to end this story.

         :)  Fin... OR IS IT?!?!?:(

==================================================================================

                     Some of the   srotires have been to serious latey
                    .. some preole say I've been trying to hard..
                  like the fructose lactose rhyme int he coffee thing.,
                 so heresd a taist of the ligter side of poupey.
                feel free to use the lil baggies provieded for puking yer
                 guts out anyyy timeeee. nope.. it doesn't get anybetter
                  than this. sittin around. anyway.. one day I Was lookin
                   for a tailor. froboy was with me. we were walkin..
                    we had left the car behind. then.. we were walkin past
                     a coffee shop and froboy saw someone he knew.
                   an old dude who looked like scrooge.. but.. good scrooge..
                    after the movie. so I said to him `you look like scrooge,
                     but good scrooge.. after the movie.' andd he said
                      `ahh.. right. interesting'.. then he dialed 911 with
                     a fone he was carriing. so we ran. ran and ran and ran.
                      and then we stopped. and then we ran and ran and ran.
                     ollllllllllllllllllllll runnin nybar.. thats what they
                      called me.. olllllllllll runnin nybar. then I stubbed
                       my toe.. and of course.. doomsday had come.
                         by the way.. that guy who looked like good scrooge
                     was fro's social malice teacher. i never did make
                      the connection.

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