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pEz monthly magazine % issue #23
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pEz monthly magazine jammy-jam % issue #23 % released may 3rd, ninety-five
president and head writer :: black francis % head editor :: dead cheese
all rights reserved, but two wrongs don't make a right % pEz monthly 1995
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:: ingredients ::
crammed into this quality issue of pEz monthly :: welcome back!, sex
with rusty utensils, pEz hits the net, reasons to contemplate suicide, kurt
cobain - one year later, more commentary on the ansi scene, the secret hoe
writer manifesto, scrabble, bi-sexuals, vampires, trent reznor, grunge,
jokes!, poetry!, anarchy!, my mother!, black francis' heart-wrenching "gene"
poem, buses, what's hot and what's not?, inside jokes, spam, turnips,
rudyard kipling, courtney love, your all-purpose guide to stereotypes and
much more!
phew!
trying saying that in one breath!
yum! gobble it up!
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:: love letters from frannie ::
well, fuck me with a rusty fork; we're back.
i thought for sure that i would write one more issue of this dumb
'zine and be done with it, but, i guess i was wrong.
it's not that _i_ didn't enjoy writing pEz or anything, it's just
that i was the only one who did. or, so i thought.
maybe i should just stop thinking all-together.
from what i understand, issue twenty-two was somewhat of a sucess on
the irc and such. i've gotten very little feedback on it personally, but my
little cohorts have informed me that they've gotten rave reviews after
distributing the issue through the irc. as long as _someone_ enjoyed it, be
it one or two people, i'm elated.
actually, i really enjoyed writing the last issue and seeing
everything come together. i had the chance to get a lot of things off of my
chest, and i did just that. in the end, i felt super-de-duper. somewhat
theraputic at the same time, i suppose.
ten whole pEz fans can't be wrong!
this puppie is huge. much bigger than the previous issue. this is
because i actually had people submit articles to me for this issue.
woo-hoo! the response was so over-whelming (comparatively speaking),
that i couldn't even cram it all in to this issue.
this means new members. aw yeah. let's welcome the following kids
to the pEz monthly crew;
murmur (who submitted this issue),
vengence (who also submitted this issue),
and fortie (wow! he submitted this issue, too!).
all of which who will hopefully submit more to me in the future.
i love you kids.
pEz monthly now has an offical ftp site for you who are too lazy
and/or cheap to call up the whq or a local distribution site.
ftp.fc.net :: pub/deadkat/misc
etch that on your forehead now!
also, if you haven't noticed by the slight name change, pEz is going
monthly. yup yup. i guess there are a few reasons for that.
one - we never really had a deadline. it was more of a 'submit
whenever the hell you want to and we'll get it in when we can' type of deal.
that's too disorganized, even for me. if i felt like releasing a new pEz,
i'd have to go and beg everyone for articles. now, everyone knows, that
around the 5th of each month, i'll be assembling the next issue for that
month. maybe if submissions keep coming in like this, and i get another
computer to edit on, we can get pEz going bi-monthly, and maybe we can't.
regardless, i think this is a change for the better. kind of odd for
a _real_ 'zine to go monthly, but, hey, we're alternative.
oh yeah. if you haven't caught on by now, the truely elite way of
writing the name of this 'zine is "pEz monthly".
pass it on.
hugs and kisses;
black francis [cia.pEz]
oh yeah, i almost forgot; dead cheese actually submitted something
this issue but it was too long and stuff! it's good to see he's actually
exploring the 'scene' outside of muds and i look forward to seeing more
from him.
after all, he is bearing my child.
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:: ten reasons why you should die ::
1. you're not me.
2. you're different from me.
3. you're you.
4. you don't deserve the gift of life.
5. you're an idiot.
6. you'll never amount to anything.
7. you have bad personal hygiene.
8. you're stupid.
9. you're still reading this.
10. i don't like you, and what i say goes.
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:: muzak! ::
:: submitted by; vengence ::
lately, as i wander through the hellhole that is my state, i notice
the increasingly disturbing presence of people who think they are
grunge/punk fans, but follow the most commercial of bands, and do nothing
but conform to whatever happens to be the latest trend. not only does this
present the problem of the presence of these stains in our society, but
people who actually like these bands are stereotyped. for example:
kurt cobain killed himself last year, and, understandably, a lot of
people were very shooken up by this. many american teens actually went as
far as to commit suicide themselves. however, cobain's memory and music
were disgraced when the `grunge' crowd decided to hop on the `gone but not
forgotten' bandwagon. suddenly everyone was an estranged nirvana fan... ok,
fine, pretend to feel a loss when you don't. but a full year after this
tragedy, the bandwagon is going strong as ever! `gone but not forgotten'
t-shirts sporting cobain's death certificate can still be seen everywhere,
and people who didn't even know who nirvana was are now their biggest fan.
what is wrong with these people? a minor rock icon kills himself, and
suddenly finds more of a following than he had in life? are these people
hoping for another album anytime soon?! i personally have always enjoyed
the music of nirvana, but find that whenever i say so i am immediatly
labeled as the average grunge teenage follower, and am automatically assumed
to be of the sort that listen to green day and offspring, and other shit
bands of that sort. this is a problem... solution?
_kill everyone involved_. kill the little unwashed grunge fans, kill
the offspring's lead singer and scalp his ass (that hair might be useful for
pulling trucks outta the mud), kill billy joe (the little faggot) and anyone
who thinks that accent is _real_, kill everyone involved or move them into
ghettos where they will then be moved into death camps.
is that wrong?
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:: rah rah sis boom bah ::
here it is, for the first time ever in printed form; mogel's
impassioned call to recruit writers for hoe!
remember, kids, you read it first in pEz monthly magazine!
"it may suck,
and it may blow,
but i don't care.
just write that hoe!"
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:: solo projects ::
:: submitted by; fortie ::
i figured that for this pez i would write about all these solo packs
that artists are releasing. here are my thoughts on it all.
first off, i want to say that i'm indifferent when it comes to
deciding whether these are a good idea or a bad idea. there are so many
reasons for both that i just havent been able to make up my mind.
these days, a lot of the packs that seem to be coming out are around
a meg each, and some have even reached the point of being over two megs.
like most people that like art, i don't feel like downloading these huge
packs. especially since all the art in it, if there is any, is not as high
quality. i think that these small groups just put out these huge packs, to
make them look good, big, or whatever. personally, i get really pissed off,
when i go through 20 minutes of dl'ing a pack, and it turns out to be
worthless. everyone has a chance at putting out good work, so instead of
make more, make quality instead. so, i would have to say, that in this
sense, putting out solo projects is a pretty good idea. it would be much
easier to dl'd the packs you want, by the artist you want. i would much
rather get on to a board, and look for a pack from someone i like, than to
sit in front of my pc, and dl a one meg pack, just cause i want to see some
art by a specific person.
but, then we have the bad side to this. nobody would ever get their
work seen. this is what i mean: new ansi artists, who just start out, and
join a small group to get their artwork seen by people all over tha u.s. if
it turned out that no one had a group anymore, and we were just all
releasing solo packs, then there isn't too big of a chance that someone will
donwload it. they'll look at who its by, and say, 'whut the fuck, i've
never even heard of this guy. phunk that, im going to grab the new lord
jazz solo." and, lastly, who wants to log onto a board, flagging about
50-60 packs every month?
eh, who cares right? it's just ansi art, so, phuck it. i just
thought that i should write about it, since i didn't have any other ideas.
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:: miscellaneous white sauce; condiments; chapter 12 ::
:: submitted by; murmur ::
greg was going down, down in a blaze of glory. he had been at the
pinnacle of his game before the spleen injectant that caused the furious
flurry that led to his subsequent burnout. of course, it could (and has
been) argued that there is a certain amount of luck in drawing the q, x, and
z each time, but it mattered not. for greg was the finest, the champion of
the game, and this could never be taken away from him. until years later
when the irs ransacked his suburban shack.
moral: always try and have the x going two ways at once, preferably while
sitting on a double or triple letter or word square. and don't
forget: ox, ax, and xi are all good two-letter words.
slurpee.
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:: cold toilet seats, dentist chairs, and trips to the dmv ::
i bet if i were a bi-sexual gothic vampire, i'd be cool and popular
and stuff!
trent reznor; watch out!
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:: frannie's joke corner! ::
why are you so stupid?
because i said so!
ha ha ha!
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:: frannie's poetry corner! ::
before i begin, i would like to stress this since it hasn't quite
gotten drilled into some peoples heads yet. 'lit' is short for
'literature'. unbeknownest to some people in the 'scene', 'lit' does not
mean strictly poetry. 'lit' can be anything from a song to a short story.
hell, i'm writing 'lit' right now.
please keep that in mind when speaking about 'lit'. if you're
talking about poetry, do not call it 'lit', call it poetry. for that's what
it is.
_anyway_;
'lit' groups are popping up like flies. better yet, they're popping
up like new ansi groups. it seems to me like everybody and their mother is
either writing lit., or starting their own lit group. how many are there
now?
agnst. souls at zero. death. carnage. destruction.
i don't know. i lost count. anyhow, i've never liked poetry to
begin with, but, it's worse when it comes to the computer 'scene'. it's
like one huge school literary magazine. it's horrible. it's become watered
down, and it's lost it's meaning. everyone's too busy shoving their agnst
down your throat to stop and think about what poetry really is. a way of
expressing what you want to say in a, yes, cute way. be it rhyming or
whatnot, that's what poetry is.
let's try to dig a point out of all this garbage, here.
my point is that, i believe, anyone can write 'lit' in the 'scene'.
i'm going to prove this by submitting some of my 'poetry' to the major 'lit'
groups, and i'm going to see what kind of response i get. i'm going to do
this in two phases, which are the following;
phase one - the goofy phase. i'm just going to submit obviously
stupid shit. childish idiotic poetry. most likely, it won't be accepted,
but if it is, i'll be more than happy to see that my point was proven. now,
if that doesn't work, which i believe it won't, i'll move on to the second
phase.
phase two - i'm going to write some poetry that at least _sounds_
serious, but i'll know different. i'll take a minute or so out of my time
to write a few poems that at least sound serious and ansgt-ridden, and
distribute them. if i get accepted, this will also prove my point, but will
not be quite as obvious as the first attempt.
i'll print the results of phase one in the next issue of pEz monthly.
if you're curious as to what poetry i will be submitting for phase one, let
me share some with you now;
"gene"
======
gene gene
made a machine
joe joe
made it go
art art
blew a fart
and blew the whole machine apart
that's simply heart-warming.
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:: frannie's anarchy corner! ::
so, you want to be an anarchist, huh?
well, put down that pipe bomb, stupid! they're flippin' dangerous!
you want to really sock it to the man? you want to really make a
difference? well, then, all you need to do is listen to me, because unlike
you, i know what the hell i'm doing.
forget explosives. they're dangerous and they cost money. here's
some simple useful anarchy (is there such a thing?) that's easy to do, and
is risk-free so you can be an anarchist and still keep all your important
appendages!
first; you'll need a victim. a target. someone you wish to inflict
anarchy upon. mainly; a person of high-ranking social status or a political
figure. some kind of important person, in general. here's what you do ::
walk up to them and repeat the following word-for-word. if you don't
do it word-for-word, it won't be anarchy!
you :: "hello, (insert person of high-ranking social status or political
figure here), please ask me if i'm a bus."
victim :: "ok. are you a bus?"
you :: "no! get hip to my anarchy!"
now run away so you can go inflict anarchy upon someone else!
now you're one step closer to toppling the government!
anarchy tip :: if you would like to be a complete anarchist, you can
sometimes substitute the word "bus" with the word "tree" and it still
works! rad!
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:: the corner of 5th and chestnut! ::
my mommy works here.
get it? she's a whore! she has sex for money! i just insulted my
own mother! how dispicable.
ha ha! i'm so funny, it hurts!
ha ha! ho ho! ow.
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:: the mogtronix instant inside-joke maker 2000 ::
:: submitted by; grandmaster mogel ::
"mommie!@@!1" you cry out loud into the night as you awake from yet
another one of those nightmares with large hairy men that smell like taco
salads in their arm pits. those dreams are getting more realistic by the
day, aren't they? i think it's time to get professional help. mogel help.
inside jokes. the whole idea of it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
a bunch of people that are in some group have a joke and they're the only
ones that get it. i wonder why people can't make universal humor more
often. something like pure wit, that transcends petty goofiness.
what the hell am I talking about? someone slap me next time I babble
like that. the truth is that making special groups and cliques is wonderful
and very human. it's great to leave people out! it makes my butt cheeks
tingle at the very thought of making someone feel like an outsider. that's
why i've put inside jokes down to a study.
check it out, you wanna be the stud at parties don't you?! you want
all the girlies (with big titties!) to come talk to you right. but you
don't have muscles, a personality, looks, or money. what the hell are you
to do? you have nothing to offer anyone. you'll make no friends except
that retard kid down the street that no one talks to because he beats
himself with tree branches and laughs for hours on ends at the site of any
passing blue car. you'll die a 60-year-old virgin. is that a life?! is
that a motherfucking life!? no, it is not a motherfucking life! so, i ask
again in a fit of redundance, what are you to do?!
enter the 'inside joke'. now you have a chance to tango with the big
boys. when someone walks up to you all you gotta do is say the most goofy,
rude, and asinine thing that comes to your minds.
example:
girlie -> hello. could you move out of the way so I can use the bathroom?
you -> don't you wanna see my 'corpus cavernosum'?
girlie -> oh, only if you wanna out it in my 'posterior commissure'!
see what i mean? here's a good rule to follow: you play stupid -
others will follow. it's as simple as that. on deeper analysis you'll see
that the inside joke is actually a tool to make everyone have something to
talk about, thus there won't be awkward silences that peirce the night like
the rage of a cow being milked.
at this point i'm one hundred percent sure that all of you are saying
to yourselves "this whole thing is all very interesting, eccentric, and
boring at the same time mogel. good job. but how can I make my _own_
inside jokes?!"
phear no more. making inside jokes are easy. they are invented all
the time. there are two more common types:
type 1 - 'i said something oh-so funny! let's totally ruin it's humor!'
this is the type of inside joke where someone has cracked a joke
while a group of you are hanging out. for example, if a group of guys
were sitting at a 2600 meeting and one of them said "let's make a new type
of box for phreakers - the shoe box!" and the other laughed lots and replied
"i'd rather make the sand box."
bingo, following this "conversation" that me and frannie had once,
you see the invention of an inside joke. later, we proceeded to say "wow!
let's hack it!" whenever we came across any form of electronics or machinery
anywhere. basically the idea behind this type of inside joke is to take
something funny that was said in a conversation and relay it in all it's
various varieties over and over again, making the people that know the joke
laugh. this idea is so easy it's a wonder that there's so many losers that
don't get it. just say goofy stuff with a little humor, and if people laugh
go into overkill mode and say the joke until their ears bleed at that
crucial 'this is the right time to say it' time. this type of joke often
dies after a while, but fortunately, it's so easy to create these types of
inside jokes there's no chance of any real conversation with depth or
meaning. yes!@$#!1
type 2 - 'here's something totally random - stick with it forever!'
this is the most interesting type of joke because it makes people
laugh, but (by great irony) it's simply not funny. amazing but true. i'm
told that dead cheese is a master of this fatal special super-natural
ability. well, phear me magical cheese boy - i'm giving away the secret
plans!
this type of inside joke is created by letting your mind sit free and
wander. after you wander you drink a sprite and watch some T.V. after you
watch some t.v. and you masturbate to re-runs of _three's company_, your
mind comes up with a completely and totally random idea.
random meaning something with that oh-so insignificant quality. it's
best when it's something that sounds awkward and is a bit silly.
spam. turnip. rubber wallaby. rutabaga. chumpy galoshes. maple
syrup. toaster hacker. blue severed hamster head. rutabaga. turtle.
paper clip. rudyard kipling.
getting the idea? find that one object and nail the world with it
'til they get so sick of you they want to molest you like the psychotic
kiddie porn downloading ansi-artist you *are*. just accept it and move on
with your life. i know for a fact that abigwar will carry his 'wombat'
thing to his grave. cdc has latched on to the awkwardness of the common
cow. just use it or lose it. that's what I say.
at any rate, i hope this article served as a good introduction into
the exciting and profitable career of inside-jokes. go outside right now
and show off your new talents. that's right! go! run into the woods naked
tell everyone. they'll not only approve - it'll be an (*ding!*) inside
joke. don't go to the bathroom for three weeks and then pee the full load
on your grandma. she'll laugh for days. the possibilities are infinite.
have fun my children, and remember:
it's not what you say - it's how you say it!
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:: holier than thou (how's that for witty?) ::
"oh shit. kurt's dead. quick! grab that courtney chick!"
- mtv, 1994, after hearing the news of kurt cobain's suidice.
i am; doll parts. what the hell? either that's extremely genius and
cryptic, or it's just really stupid and pathetic.
i'm opting for stupid and pathetic.
hole's enjoyed an incredible, almost overwhelming, amount of success
as of late. having "live through this" voted the best album of the year,
securing a spot as one of the headlining acts on lollapalooza, and topping
the billboard pop charts for a nice chunk of the year, hole has become a
household name. kind of strange for a small band that has basically
forgotten it's roots as a new york based riot grrrl band, and we all know
how unsuccessful riot grrrl bands turn out, now, don't we?
one thing made all of that possible. a small-scale disaster. the
suicide of hole's lead singer, courtney love's, husband; kurt cobain.
follow me, here?
actually, i've heard many things that are supposedly responsible for
hole's fame and fortune. i know, for a fact, that it is only due to kurt's
suicide. let's face it; hole has no talent. none, whatsoever. if they're
the genius band that everyone praises them to be, how come their first
effort, "pretty on the inside", was such a miserable failire? because hole
sucks. it's that simple.
let's look at some of the other reasons hole may be popular, analyse
them, and show just how extremely and terribly wrong they are ::
myth #1 - courtney love is a good singer.
=========================================
oh please! i've heard better screeching come out of a dying cat. we
all know she can't sing. why she even bothers is mind-boggling. her voice
makes me want to claw my own eyeballs out. it's _that_ horrible.
you remember that woman in rhode island or whatever that had a
seizure every time she heard mary hart's (of entertainment tonight) voice?
_that's_ what courtney love's voice does to me. it's vomit-inducing.
myth #2 - courtney love's lyrics are genius
===========================================
i don't think so. let's take a look at some of her "genius" lyrics;
"they get what they want, and they never want it again"
- violet, from; "live through this"
of course they don't want it. they already have it.
"i'm miss world. somebody kill me. give me pills."
- miss world, from; "live through this"
this is completely mind boggling. hey. if you didn't want to win
the miss world competition, maybe you shouldn't have entered. eek. i'd
hate to see the swimsuit competition. argh!
someone give her those fucking pills she keeps asking for and maybe,
just maybe, she'll shut up.
myth #3 - hole is a good noise band
===================================
i admit. hole is noisy, but, they're not good. now, it's not that
hard to start a "noise" band and be good at it. hell, it's just a bunch of
noise, but hole can't even do that. that's a true sign of a talentless
group.
nobody in that band is a good musician. they're all revoltingly
medicore. the guitarist. the other guitarist. the bassist. the drummer.
they're all horribly medicore. i've heard better from local bands.
there's nothing left. the music, the lyrics, and the singer are all
shit. they all amount to a pile of shit. so, that only proves that the
reason they're popular, is because a certain someone blasted a hole in their
head and the alternateen crowd latched onto them like a leech, and the world
is a worse place because of it.
now we've got to put up with courtney love's shit. her little
illiterate ramblings on aol, her temper tantrums at concerts, her fights,
her apperances at social events, hobnobbing (is that even a word?) with
actual celebrities.
courtney love is quickly becoming the yoko ono of "alternative"
music, and we're giving her a reason to do it by buying her albums, etc.
let's hope that during her set at lollapalooza, there's a good band
on the second stage. if not, i don't know if i can entertain myself through
the whole set simply by giving her the finger and yelling obscenities.
speaking of lollapaloza, think of the crowd that hole is going to
draw. alternateens, young and old, flocking to see their queen do her thing
in front of thousands of people who simply want to see a good show.
how depressing.
courtney love, as a person, amounts to a pile of shit. i truely feel
sorry for her daughter, frances bean, who has to live with her and the fact
that her father was a manic depressive who couldn't handle the trials of
stardom.
which reminds me. remember why kurt cobain couldn't handle it
anymore? because of fame and fortune. because nirvana was a household
name. because whatever he did, he couldn't get out of the spotlight. so,
what do we do to honor his life? exploit him, his band, and his name 100x
more than it has ever been exploited.
courtney love is no help. while on a recent trip to philadelphia,
she stopped in zipperhead. zipperhead happened to be carrying a kurt cobain
death certificate t-shirt (which i'm not glamorizing in the slightest).
uh-oh. a recipe for disaster.
courtney goes off on a tangent, knocking over racks of clothing and
cursing out the employees.
it's their job to sell that idiotic shirt, stupid.
this isn't an isolated incident. not by a far stretch of the
imagination. courtney love has gotten into trouble at shows, at home, doing
everyday things, and even at the oscars. it's a hobby of hers.
what kind of self-respecting person would go to the oscars in the
first place, let alone a "fuck the world and everyone on it" type of person
like courtney love? why was she, of all people, at the _oscars_? not only
was she at the oscars, but she attending with another woman, supposedly her
girlfriend.
courtney love - bisexual? there's a big suprise. i knew it was only
a matter of time before she leaped onto that bandwagon. her girlfriend was
a cute one, too. that truely suprises me. courtney love has the good looks
of roadkill. she's pale, has big features, and is just downright trasy
looking. real trailer-park material.
that wouldn't make a difference to me if she was actually talented,
or i actually enjoyed her music, but i don't.
there's no easy way to end this rant. i guess you should let
everyone be what they want, do what they want, and go on with your life,
but there's something about courtney love and her success that drives me
absolutely mad.
jealousy? maybe. who knows? if my philosophy about bad music and
horrible "celebrities" is correct, it'll all blow over soon.
after all, courtney's fifteen minutes are just about up. you can
only make an ass out of yourself for so long.
============================================================================
============================================================================
:: pEz monthly's guide to stereotypes ::
i figured, since there were so many ignorant bigot-types in the
computer 'scene', i may as well help them out some, seeing how they need
all the help they can possibly get.
thus, i decided to make a guide to stereotypes. this is for the
discriminating ignorant piece of shit who wants to make sure they know
what they're talking about when they insult a black person, a jew, or even
a homosexual.
simply look up the group that you would like to insult, and take it
from there. you can't go wrong! i made it idiot proof since most people
who stereotype are, in fact, idiots.
you can thank me later.
group stereotype
===== ==========
white people white people are always rich and stuck up. none of
them can dance for shit, and they have no soul. they
all listen to barry manilow and drive expensive cars.
their asses are really tight and they're all named
"biff" or "buffy" or something completely unheard of.
they're all completely racist and most of the time,
extremely stupid. they enjoy becoming cops so they
can pull minorities out of their cars and beat them
senseless.
black people black people all have huge dicks. that's right. i'm
talking, one foot long and all that. that's how they
talk to, like they're straight out of a dr. dre song.
they all like rap and r&b and won't hesitate to mug
you for a few dollars. they're all loud. they all
watch martin, and when they laugh, they stand up and
slap each other and things. they have brillo pads
for hair.
homosexuals they're always feminie. always. all they ever think
about is sex, sex, sex! they always want to get the
homophobic guys in bed, too. you know the ones, the
ones who say, "hey, get away, faggot!" they _always_
lust after those guys. they all talk with lisps, and
they all listen to techno or disco. all they do is
hang out at gay bars and try to molest little boys.
it's true!
hispanics all hispanics ride lowriders with lots of bass and
they have those silly little crown air freshners on
the dash. they're also all very short. they all
talk like tattoo from fantasy island and say,
"holmes" and "chicho" a lot.
jewish people all jewish people whine when they talk, and they're
all cheapskates who will fight you for a few cents.
they all have big noses. they're all filthy rich
because they take over all of our stores and
everything. the women are all gold-diggers and all
of them wear those splatter paint jogging suits with
big gold gaudy sunglasses.
catholics catholics are straight as an arrow. no sex until
marraige. no drugs. no rock and roll. they're all
hyprocrites who never think about sex or anything
slightly "evil" or "immoral".
asians the asians are taking over our businesses. they're
buying all of our stores out and taking over our
country. they all talk funny, they all look the
same, they all talk fast, and all their eyes are
paper thin - just like them. uh-huh. they're never
fat. nope. it's from eating all of that sushi.
they all take of their shoes when entering their
houses, which are made of paper and carpeted with
mats.
hope that this has been some kind of help, you ignorant fuck-head!
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:: what's hot and what really completely sucks ::
hey. someone told me if i named this section, "what's hot and what's
not", it would rhyme and be even spiffier!
well, i'll be damned! they're right!
oh well. that's just too darn witty for me.
hot completely un-hot
=== =================
jonas jonas
angst peace, love, and happiness!
ferrets hamsters
teen porn kid porn
'zines colored blocks
'cyberpunks' 'cybersluts'
inside jokes trash (inside joke!)
white trash yuppies (were they ever in?)
being different conforming
hypnotism subliminal messages
black francis everyone else (again?)
now you can be cool like me!
gotta run, my tv dinner is done!
i lub you!
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:: bye bye now ::
thanks for joining us once again. we hope you've thouroughly enjoyed
this issue and would like to remind you to keep your seatbelts fastened, and
please make sure your chair is in a full up-right position.
this issue of pEz monthly has been brought to you by x, p, and the
number twelve.
join us next month for more on music, posers, homophobia in the
'scene', frannie's quest to get in a 'lit' group, and much much more.
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