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????? ????? ????? ????? ????? mci
? ?????? ????? ? ?????? ????? ??????? ?
????? ?????
????? ?????
negative ?????? ? multiplicative ?????? ? inverse
? ??? ? ? ???????????????????????????????????? issue one ???????? ? ? ??? ?
"Why try holding back the wave? You'll only drown in the changes.
You've got to learn to let go.
Just let go and experience the flight.
Try to see from a different side.
If balance is the key, maybe we'll
see a future understanding."
- Queensryche
? ??? ? ? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ? ??? ?
???????? ?? ???? ??????????????????
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: :
+ the editorial: wacky-ass 'zine boy, by belial
+ angst is the flavor, by belial
+ play that funky techno beat, by mindcrime
+ household man: superhero, by mindcrime
+ the end: people suck, by mindcrime
+ members, contact, legal information, chick's fone numbers.
? ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?
??????
? ??? ? ? ??? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ? ??? ?
? ??? ? negative multiplicative inverse ? ??? ?
? ??? ? ? ? the editorial ? ? ? ??? ?
?????? ? ? ??????
???:? wacky-ass 'zine boy, by belial ?:???
??? ? ? ???
? ?
Don't touch my turkey, little bitch! Did you ever
look in a mirror and wonder what it's thinking about you?
No?
Why not? I bet when you look in the mirror,
it's saying, "Damn, fat thing, get
your chunks outta here!"
Well, then again, maybe it's
just a mirror and it really doesn't think or say anything.
But you have to admit, it would be
pretty damn cool!
All right! Throw your parent's in the air and wave 'em
like you just don't care! This is the
e'zine of the century!
Secret Agent Edicius on the scene:
Huzzah! Edi's tounge is a little tied up on some
stupid slinky that he's swinging around.
What a DORK!
Back to the office:
This here thing that you're reading is, like, a
brand GNU e'zine! And it is indeed most phearsome. So, buckle in
your fruitloops backback and
get ready for some heavy duty
food slingin'.
It's me (Belial), and it's him (Mindcrime), and it's
that other circus freak (Edicius).
We're funny! Laugh!
(NO! I THINK WE FUCKING SUCK!)
AnyWAY, here we are... and it's
pretty cool if you ask me.
HEY! Get that
pudding out of your mouth! What do you think
this is?!
The aliens are coming for you, man! Send us all your
money and stuff and we'll kind of rough up the
aliens to get off your
back-- for a price, of course, though. What
do you think we are?
We're capitalists, damnit! Wait, we're communists, too!
Swimming in a pool of
conformity, baby! Strap your swimmies on,
and lets go! This is it! This IS
THE definative 'zine, milky! Here it is, here we
are!
We're Negative Multiplicative Inverse!
-- Belial [1/2 Editor]
? ??? ? end of article ??? ?? ?????????????????????????????????????? ? ??? ?
? ??? ? negative multiplicative inverse ? ??? ?
? ??? ? ? ? article number: one ? ? ? ??? ?
?????? ? ? ??????
???:? angst is the flavor, by belial ?:???
??? ? ? ???
? ?
I have so much angst! I'm an over-depressed
teenager! My life sucks, my parents suck, everything
sucks!
I'm going to end it all! I just can't deal with
it anymore!
I can't stand school! It's
repressing my art! I don't have room to expand!
I'm quitting!
I can't stand girls! I can't
pick any up! I'm such a stain!
God END this life for me!
? ??? ? end of article ??? ?? ?????????????????????????????????????? ? ??? ?
? ??? ? negative multiplicative inverse ? ??? ?
? ??? ? ? ? article number: two ? ? ? ??? ?
?????? ? ? ??????
???:? play that funky techno beat, by mindcrime ?:???
??? ? ? ???
? ?
oons oons oons oons oons WEEP WOP oons WEEP WOP oons
WEEP WEEP WOP oons oons WEEP WEEP WOP oons wEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWW oons
oons oons oons.
techno in my soul, beotch!
did you ever find yourself moving to
a non-existant beat on a bus full of convicts on
you're way to the penitentiary? me niether,
but i bet if you ever did, all
the mean people would stare.
which brings me to an interesting topic!
have you ever stared at someone (perhaps a
h0T g0TH gRRL) so long that she started to fidget and
get nervous, and then
she gets up and runs out of the room
screaming? grey hawk does it all the time.
he's a stalker.
-? ode to grey hawk, the stalker -?
grey hawk, yeah, he likes to stalk,
the women he follows hasten their walk
and every time he catches up,
the police have to use their big white chalk.
he's a stalker, an axe murderer, and a poet,
the women say no but he likes to show it.
sometimes he tries to be sincere and kind,
but somehow always manages to blow it.
he drives a suave car and plays lots of techno,
he's tried the direct approach, but the women say "heck no!"
poor grey hawk, what a misguided soul,
he stalks all day, and when he'll stop does nobody k-know.
heh.. RHYMING SUCKS!
? ??? ? end of article ??? ?? ?????????????????????????????????????? ? ??? ?
? ??? ? negative multiplicative inverse ? ??? ?
? ??? ? ? ? article number: three ? ? ? ??? ?
?????? ? ? ??????
???:? household man: superhero, by mindcrime ?:???
??? ? ? ???
? ?
you know what would be cool? if they made a
superhero who just used everyday appliances to
defend the world against the
evil realms. he could give the enemies some
scissors, and then run away, and when they chased
after him, they'd fall and gouge
themselves on the scissors.
he could have a portable microwave,
and he'd put the enemies' heads in it and turn it on full blast. their
brain would fry up, so not only would he have succeeded in
defeating
the
enemy,
he would also have breakfast.
i think these comic book writers think too hard
about things. superheros
aren't hard to come up with. dumbasses.
? ??? ? end of article ??? ?? ?????????????????????????????????????? ? ??? ?
? ??? ? negative multiplicative inverse ? ??? ?
? ??? ? ? ? the end ? ? ? ??? ?
?????? ? ? ??????
???:? people suck, by mindcrime ?:???
??? ? ? ???
? ?
did you ever start a new 'zine with the hope
that all your friends would think it
was cool and would contribute and it would be one biggy,
happy comedy fest?
i did yesterday, and no one lifted a finger to help except the
poor soul that happened to be in
the room with me.
i chained him to my desk and told
him to write or i'd kill off
his family. i guess no one does
anything on this planet anymore unless you
make them.
by the way, phear the blade nation. we're taking over
this god-forsaken planet. earth
is a thing of the past. 2k is coming, and when it does,
the blade nation will own you.
so anyway, that's our 'zine. we're going to put this
thing out like superman all hopped up on jolt(tm).
thousands upon thousands of issues will pile
up on my hard drive, and you will all phear our
lack of lives. never underestimate the
power of a bored computer geek.
??????
? ??? ? ? ??? ???????????????????????????? end issue one ???????? ? ? ??? ?
negative multiplicative inverse:
mindcrime - founder, editor, layout, design, artwork
belial - editor, justification scheming
edicius - used to be an editor, but we alienated him and made
fun of him so he quit and now
he's just a dork.
dimes - was told to be a writer,
but was too busy, so now he's just a lamer.
grey hawk - was also told to be a writer, but was
too busy playing his new warez. so now
he's just a stalker with no social life.
? ? ? ?-? contact: mike@exit109.com, marc@netlabs.net
?
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?
negative multiplicative inverse is copyright (c) 1996 surreality enterpises
distribution of this magazine is allowed, and indeed encouraged,
provided it is copied in it's entirety. no single part of this magazine
may be duplicated without the expressed, written consent of surreality
enterprises and the author of said part.
??????
? ??? ? end of file ??? ?? ?????????????????????????????????????? ?? ? ??? ?