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POUPEY PRODUCTIONS
- a n d -
HOE REVOLUTION text files
in conjunction with
the estate of the president presses
and the illegal brotherhood
P R E S E N T
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//~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\
|| PURE ANARCHY!!!!!! /| SATAN |\ BOMBZ HARDCORE!! ||
|| ___ ___ | | IS LORD | | _______________ ||
|| |$$| HOE 1016 |$$| \`\ !!!!! /'/' |$$$$$$$$| ||
|| |$$| 01/30/00 |$$| \ `---------' / |$$|~~~~~~~~~~~ ||
|| |$$|__________|$$| / /\ /\ \ |$$| LOTSA BOOM ||
|| |$$$$$$$$$| | '' `` | |$$|___ 2 FUCK ||
|| |$$/~~~~~~~~\$$| \ ` ' / |$$$$| YA SHT ||
|| |$$| TRUE |$$| `\ <o> /' |$$|~~~ UP!!!! ||
|| |$$| TERORISM |$$| 666 `\ /' 666 |$$|___________ ||
|| |$$| INSIDE!! |$$| ___/'`---'`\___ |$$$$$$$$| ||
\\ ~~~ ~~~ HOGZA DA ENTROPY! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ //
\\ YEAH BOYEE@#! H/P/A/V/C IN DA MOTHAFUCKIN HAUSZ#@!@$ //
\\--------------------------------------------------//
\\ "How To Get Back At Your Rivals" //
\\ by Nybarius, Lethal Ninja //
\\______________________________________//
okay okay listen to this. as all of you know, there are a lot of
pretentious assholes inhabiting #ezines. as a matter of fact, only three
of us aren't. and, the dickens of it is, -we- are perceived as the
pretentious assholes from those on the outside. so, we must strike back.
how do we do this? firstly, we must make sure to never yield any ground
to the enemy. if they are encamped in our ditch, we ignore them! here is
how i put it, recently...
<nybar> so, i'm not talking to any of you.
<nybar> except those that have PhDs in the humanities
<nybar> these people include (but are not limited to): basehead,
soybean jamesy, tasha, caitlin, seaya, murmur, notgreg,
swisspope, rottenZ, phairgirl, art, miasma, et al.
<nybar> thank you for your time.
<tasha> i ate thai food yesterday
you would be surprised at how incredibly effective this technique
is! rather than having to sit through a boring lecture on the virtues of
midget skin-popping from an AIDS (that's right, it's __AN__ AIDS--don't
let acronyms simplify your syntax, people! but that's for another issue),
we have elucidating and frank discussions with basehead about how he's a
dorky white guy, but he's really an old motown blues guy under his
fragile shell.
oh, how fragile the shell is.
besides this, however, there are many ways to get under the skin
of our rivals...and not just skin popping! admittedly, we at POUPEY
PRODUCTIONS are rebel headbangers. yes, it's true. we take no prisoners.
so, when we really want to cause some fucking trouble...
WE BEAT OUR ENEMIES UPON THE HEAD AND NECK AREA UNTIL THEY DIE!
WITH A FUCKING LEAD PIPE!!! (right, justin??) HERE IS THAT ENACTED:
<nybar's real life simulacrum/avatar:> HEY, FUCK YOU ALTROCKS. I
NEVER LIKED YOU, FUCKER. PREPARE FOR THE PIE-EATING CONTEST IN HADES.
<altrocks' simulacrum> ouch! why are you hitting me with that lead
pipe, asshole? I feel like I am dying! ooooh!
*** altrocks graps his heart, swoons and dies
--There are existent, of course, more subtle, less direct methods
than the ol' trusty and effective "bludgeon em until they die." Yes
indeed. believe it or not, one of these involves poisoning old ladies on
the subway. First off, you buy some arsenic or, better yet, cyanide.
Then, on the streets of New York City (NEW YORK FOR LIFE. DON'T BE A
SQUARE IN DELAWARE OR BE A FISH AGAIN IN MICHIGAN!!!), buy some peanuts
for just one dollar. That's right, exactly $1.00--no fucking with change!
It's the express lane as you are marching to DEATH'S DRUMMER (who is,
perhaps, one of those nice Kiss guys who sponsors anti-drug ads.)
Now, here comes the complex, "King Graham has mastered the
inventory" part of the plan. Mix the poison and the nuts! Here is an
ascii diagram to help those slow of comprehension out!
STEP ONE--NUTS::: _________________
| ethiopian |
| pee-nutz! |
| [TM] |
`-----------------'
STEP TWO--POISON::: .----.
| |
| |
( XXX )
( )
/ \
`--------'
STEP THREE--(ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!)
haha, once you have your deadly concoction ready, simply hand some
to a friendly old black
HAHA! ONCE you have your deadly concoction ready, feed them to a
friendly old black lady. eat some out of your pockets to reassure her
that you're not up to any funny business. [NOTE: EATING DEADLY NUTS NOT
RECOMMENDED. THIS MEANS YOU, COSBY.] once you feed them to her, she will
die. and viola! all your problems are solved! thanks!
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[ (c) HOE EZINE! WWW.HOE.NU! A-BEWM-BEWM! #1016 -> BY NYBARIUS - 1/30/00 ]