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 ggg                       "Spot's Big Adventure"                      ggg
 $$                        by -> Captain Bovine                       $$
 $$                                                                   $$
 $$        [ HOE E-Zine #948 -- 12/08/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$
 `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

	Spot groaned as he rolled over to answer his ringing phone. Who
 could be calling at this hour?, he thought as he glanced at the digital
 clock sitting on his horribly ugly beatnik night table. "Hello," he said
 in his monotone voice, not really caring who it was on the other end.
 Probably AT&T again, he thought gloomily.

	"Good morning sir," said a chipper voice on the other end. Spot
 groaned again. He knew this voice too well. "I'm calling on behalf of
 AT&T, and would like to inform you about our new long distance pricing
 plans. May I ask how much you spend on long distance calls monthly?"

	"One day I'll kill you," said Spot in a matter of fact kind of
 voice.

	"Very good sir," the voice said. "Did you know that you can get
 all your long distance calls for a mere twelve cents a minutes if you
 switch over to AT&T..." the voice droned on, not frazzled by the death
 threat one bit. Spot suspected that it was a common thing for them to
 hear.

	"No really," Spot said, cutting the voice off mid-way through what
 it had been saying. "I will kill you one day."

	"Very good sir, but did you know that our long distance plans are
 the best around..." the voice continued on.

	Spot listened to the voice for two hours. As much as he hated it
 when AT&T would call him, he didn't want to hurt the voice's feelings by
 hanging up, or telling the voice the truth, and that he never made any
 long distance calls. None of his friends had phones, actually. They had
 sold them for crack money months ago.

	Spot grunted politely to the voice before hanging up. He wasn't
 sure what the grunt meant, but so far the voice had called back every
 time because of it, and Spot didn't want to break tradition.

	Laying down again, Spot focused on going back to sleep. He had
 just slipped into a dream about playing with his rubix cube, when the
 phone rang again. How odd, Spot thought as he reached for the phone. They
 usually wait at least an hour before calling back.

	As soon as he picked up the phone, he knew the person on the other
 end of the phone was Hysterical. What would I ever do without call
 display, he thought.

	"Oh Spot!" Mrs. Hysterical practically screamed at him as soon as
 he picked up the phone. Her voice was frantic and whiney. She almost
 sounded like she was on the verge of hysteria. "It's Jo-Jo! He's run away
 to join the circus!"

	Spot said nothing at first. His mind wandered. He had not believed
 his psychic when she told him that he was about to go off on a long
 adventure, yet now it felt almost inevitable. Cursing himself for not
 playing the lottery numbers she had given him, he said into the phone
 "Okay. I'll be right over."

	This looked like it will be an interesting birthday after all, he
 thought as he climbed out of bed. Very interesting indeed.

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!     HOE #948, BY CAPTAIN BOVINE - 12/08/99 ]