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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #683
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Russian Women Through The Ages"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Jook
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 6/14/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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"entire contents copyright 1999, Imagine media, Inc. All rights
reserved. reproduction in whole or part is prohibited. a, a1, a2, a3, a4,
b . . ."
- "mac addict," issue 34.
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"your parents did it, shomie. how cool can it be?"
"stop reading that damn time magazine and quoting random stuff out
of it that applies to my life," shomie said as he inspected a single hair on
the top of his head that just would not stay down. "you know it pisses the
fuck out of me when you have to do that and start buggin' me."
"but shomie, this is where you come in!"
shomie placed his hairbrush on the nightstand next to his bed and
walked towards the other end where jobe was playing a random game on his
psx. "jobe, there's only one of you and you're not doing any coming. now
please move so i can sit next to you on the bed." jobe froze. "damnit. why
are you just staring at the television?"
"dddddffd."
"you broke it, didn't you? you broke my damn psx didn't you? what
the hell, jobe? you broke my computer last week, now you broke this? what
are you trying to do?" shomie's voice began to raise the more he thought
about the situation. his eyes looked through jobe like a fucking man who
had just lost his best friend. "you broke my playstation you fucker." he
raised his fist, but not towards jobe. he raised his fist to his own face
and started punching himself in the eye. "damnit." a punch to the left.
"stupid piece . . ." a shot to the right. "i'm going to kill you." a shot
to the gut. "how am i supposed to become more and more lazy and more and
more appathetic if both my computer and psx is broke? what am i supposed to
do, comb my hair all day?"
jobe, not really sure what to say after he just saw his friend
beating the crap out of himself, "well, you didn't get that hair down. i
mean, you did for a sec, but after you started beating yourself, it popped
right up again. it was just like that - pop - and there it was again,
sticking up there."
"great jobe, i'll just do that."
"hey, when it comes right down to it, isn't every catastrophe an
opportunity?"
"this is an opportunity to kill you, you son of a bitch. tell me how
you broke the playstation and maybe i'll let you go. was it the russian
woman? kubasova?"
"oh, god. how'd did you know about her? i thought we had the door
locked . . ."
"your mom told me about her. i mean, you can't just bring a russian
woman into the country like that. there are strings attached."
"and then you saw us . . ."
"no, but i could hear you. i just wasn't expecting it to be taking
place on top of my f''n playstation. didn't that hurt?"
"no, i kind of liked having the controller there. it was my own way
of pleasing myself while i pleased her. plus russian women have simply
gotten with it. they like that sort of stuff."
"you're kidding me right."
"yes, of course i am. she was one powerful woman, though. if only
russia were run by its women. today, the county's males - from president
boris yeltsin and first deputy prime minister anatoly chubais on down - are
in crisis."
"i know what you mean, jobe. russia's just going to explode with a
feminist revolution one of these days. i was just thinking about that when
i was combing my hair."
the two sat down again on the bed, both contemplating the current
crisis in russia. how sad, they thought, that a woman like kubasova
couldn't have more. jobe leaned back onto shomie's bed with shomie as the
two cuddled with each other and dealt with the feminist situation in russia
together, the only way they knew how.
"hey jobe, where's that controller?"
"underneath the bed, i think."
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #683 - WRITTEN BY: JOOK - 6/14/99 ]