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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #667
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "I've Never Met Elmo"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Reflecks
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/31/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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The Scene: the front of a kitchen in modern suburbia. there is a
slight 50's feel to the house. the curtains here are drawn slightly open,
and the audience can see the trees and the bright, sunny sky through the
window. the mother of the household, laura, a young looking woman in her
thirties, is pouring cocoa into a mug while a microwave is heating water.
enter willy, a five year old boy, running in from the door at left which,
we see, has been left open.
willy : MOMMY! guess what mommy moymmoymyo!@ymym8eyur^&%!&@#
mother: Whaaat! Take your shoes off, stop running in the house!
[willy runs up the stairs. we hear two loud thumps, then see
willy run down the stairs, shoeless.]
mother: Did you want some cocoa?
willy : GUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS WHAAAAAT!@3!6236741
mother: You found another snail?
willy : nooOoOOOOOOO, my teacher asked me to be in the school, um, thing!
mother: What school thing? The pageant?
willy : yeah! she liked my poem so im going to sing that she said,
she told me!
[willy runs back up the stairs. we hear a door slam, then willy
runs back down the stairs again, paper in hand.]
mother: What's this, is this your poem?
willy : yeah read it! reeead itttt@!#!#!5234527
mother: Okay. [she takes it, reads it, then hands it back.]
mother: That's very good, willy! Now, can you sing it?
willy : okay!@#
[lights dim, spotlight on willy appears. willy is full front.]
ive never met elmo,
ive never gone to his raves.
ive never danced his funky dance
and never seen him shave.
elmo and the fur he has,
red and fluffy, too,
is always perfectly random and straight,
but never ever blue.
see, if this elmo puppet i know
were to suddenly die,
i know who would take his place,
it'd be "Smiley, Guy".
Thank you, Thank you,
kinda like Bob Barker,
his head moves, his chin does not,
i think this makes him smarter.
big bird was a bit of a fruit,
though i did really like him lots.
standing in his big, feather suit
im sure it got quite hot.
ive never met elmo,
ive never met big bird.
im sure if oscar were my friend,
id be his number one tu.. wait
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #667 - WRITTEN BY: REFLECKS - 5/31/99 ]