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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #491 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "In Search of BigDaddy" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Paganini !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 3/3/99 !!
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Okay. If your screen name is STUD4U... you might be a lost cause.
Picture this. It is late. It is midnight. I am checking my email
on the all too wonderful Aol network. I am happy. I worked all day. I
am tired. I am weak, but I am also so very happy. Then it happens... my
screen slows down... and all of a sudden... (dun dun dun) the IM appears.
(No. You must keep reading.)
Ask me what it says. "What does it say Sara Mann?" Well, it
says "AGE? SEX?" and it is from someone named BIGSTUD. This happens to
me just about every night. Of course the person is not always BIGSTUD.
Sometimes it is 2Hot4U or Stud4U. The names vary but it is funny how the
line is usually always the same. This would not bug me so much if my
screen name were not Sarah10155. Met a lot of guys named Sarah lately?
I have not. Another thing... what kind of line is AGE? SEX? What kind
of line is that? You know, women just lay around wearing dresses, waiting
for their pies to get done baking, and darning socks, thinking "God, I
just wish some guy would approach me some day and say `AGE? SEX?'." Yes,
that is what we dream about. Why, I remember back in school we used to
sit around dreaming of the day our Prince Charming would come over on his
horse, ride off with us into the glorious sunset only to whisper in our
ears "AGE? SEX?" Wouldn't it be funny if people approached each other in
person like that?
Another thing. People lie. If I am going to talk to anyone on a
strictly internet basis I am not ever going to trust them It's just a
fact. People lie. I mean, if you just got home from your Dudgeons and
Dragons club meeting; you're sitting around in old tight sweat pants,
eating twinkies, and chain smoking, are you honestly going to describe
yourself? No. You're going to advertise yourself as a buff, young,
athletic guy who just likes to hang out. And the 'What are you wearing'
question is a whole new issue. I'll tell you what... if you ask me what
I am wearing over the internet... even if I am dressed in the largest
parka you have ever seen, even if I am wearing wool in every imaginable
place... I will tell you that I am naked. First of all, if you have asked
me that... you are not worth describing my clothes over, and second of
all... isn't that the desired response? Who asks that question to hear
something like "Well, I just got this sweater from Lands End, and I am
wearing it with the matching pants, which really set off the blue in my
loafers..." No one wants to hear that. No. There are actually people in
this world that believe that by searching things like member directories
they will actually find some intelligent, sweet, wonderful super model who
just happens to be sitting around wearing something lacy or nothing at
all... waiting for someone named Stud4U to come along and change her life.
People actually believe this.
And what is with the whole Cyber sex deal, eh? What is with that?
Have you ever looked into the member chats at the people connection? A
friend of mine showed me the titles one day. There are some sick, sick
people out there and the sad thing is that they actually find that sort of
thing satisfying. It is satisfying to them to communicate via computer
with someone they a) have know idea the gender of, b) have no idea the age
of, and c) have no idea their relation to this person. I mean wouldn't it
just freak you out if you got of the internet and later one day realized
that the person talking dirty to you was your Uncle Harold? That's reason
enough for counseling right there. I have read articles about people who
have fallen in love over the internet. For the most part they are 17 year
old boys and sad 30 year old women. It's just a sad sad sad affair.
Okay. This did not really go any where. I think my point (is there
one?) Is do not pick up people over the internet. Do not do it. Do not
pick me up over the internet. Leave me alone. I do not want your
pornography. Yes. That is it. I do not want your pornography. So,
friends, the next time someone approaches you over the internet just stop
and think about who you are talking to. Consider their age. Are you
talking to a twelve year old? Are you talking to a scary old man?
Consider their sex. Are you communicating with some strange gay dude or
are you talking to some very confused individual? Consider their
location. Are they across the street in the seemingly innocent van? Are
they one of your classmates... the one who stares across the room at you
and turns very quickly each time you wave the restraining order? All of
these are important factors when deciding whether to love or to not
love... over the world wide web. I do not want your pornography. Thank
you and God bless America.
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #491, WRITTEN BY: PAGANINI - 3/3/99 !!