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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #391 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "plaZa auTomatIon" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Trilobyte !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/28/98 !!
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Where's the pooty-tat? Where's the pooty-tat? Where's the
pooty-tat? I taught I taw a pooty-tat. Oh, it's inside my phone.
C'mere, phone. You're a good phone, you've never done me wrong. For
as long as I've had you, which has only been so long, you've been good
to me and haven't let me down. The phone company pours electricity
through the phone lines. If I put you underwater in a big bathtub and
you were next to my head, would I get electrocuted? I love, love, love
you, phone! I love you.
I love other things; I love the stars at night and I love
sticking my tongue to tasty things and I like to beat you, phone, beat
you into metal walls.
We used to have more metal walls around here, me and Metra, but
see, they were lead-based, and when we gave birth to you we were afraid
you might lick them and get sick. After all, we coated them with rabbit
feces. I like to return books to the library because I feel like I have
a purpose. When I return them on time, I feel like a good kid, and I
know the librarians respect me. Think of how many important books may
have been lost from important libraries because some dingbat checked
them out and never returned them. There shouldn't be a swinging door
for those sorts of people. It should just go one way. A one-way road
into a room full of punishment, where all they can do is lick things all
day. They can lick themselves until their skin goes raw or they can lick
the walls and get sick of lead poisoning, like mom -- good 'ol mom,
baking her iron-supplemented chocolate cookies. My friends would always
have christmas cookies with fake sugar-coated metallic balls on them.
Their moms made them. Well, my lovely mother (I love the woman!) she put
real ball bearings on them thinking that we could eat them all and we all
got sick and shit out ball bearings. When I get bad intestinal gas, I
can bend over and my ass is like a Daisy BB gun. Look out Martha Stewart.
I could cook culinary delights for french stalwarts of Egyptian
theatre. The tops of the pyramids are not comfortable to sit on, for
members of either sex. Sure, the pointy top of the pyramids have all
worn away over the years, but still, you're awfully high up and it is an
uncomfortable climb and I used to be buried in one of those pyramid
things but then I got out because the light shone on me in just the
correct way. god loves me, because god loves everyone (even you) and I
am part of everyone (and so are you). Where's my phone?
I have to go downstairs and use the payphone.
Hold on.
...
Haha. I went down stairs to use the payphone and realized my
good loving phone was in my hand! What a kind phone, to appear in my
hand right when I need it most. What else could I ask for in a
companion? Now only if the people I talked to on the phone were
actually decent people worthy of spending my time with me. I should
stop spending my time and start selling it.
But then cheap ass bastards like Smoki would never come round no
more. He liked the smorgasbord in Madison, WI when we went up there to
have his fur removed. He was a nice creature until his fur got all
chopped off and you could see his skin and it was so bad. I think he
was part dove, horse, and sea anemone. I could be wrong.
It's time for my daily calculus exercise. I like to look
literate when I write these, you know. I feel like I'm touching a
woman's skin as I type this to you. The keyboard feels like a woman's
skin. Womens' skin is good. Women are good. I like Women.
Calculus. Woman. Calc -- I will go dress up, I say, and I got
dressed and went outside and HEY I've got boobs now. I always get
violated with them. Between people looking at them and old men groping
them, I never know what to do.
"when ever you come around i'm a walkin' on shaky ground"
that's how you make me feel -- you make me want to shake the
ground. I want to go through the throes of personal and fulfulling love
with you, my angel, my poopheart, my fucking blistery fungus. mmm.
I will melt wax on your stomach and then cut it off with a sharp
knife.
I will chew on your hair and scalp until your whole head is gooey
with my thick saliva.
I will squeeze your thigh until my hands have kneaded the fat
enough that it will slink down your leg and come out between your big
toe and its toenail.
I will pinch your nipple nine times and then subtract 3 so it's
6. 6 times a lady. Then you're done.
This time it's for real. Let's party. Put on the hat, it's not
over yet. Strap down. Get a drink. Don't shoot me. Shoot him! Ha ha,
I laugh at your antics for you are a silly person, you do silly things
that often I command you to do because if I didn't tell you silly things
to do you would never do anything silly and that would be boring! It is
advantageous to know every thing you're going to do before you do it.
And it's amazing that you fall for it every time. You are a dumb whore.
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #391 - WRITTEN BY: TRILOBYTE - 12/28/98 !!