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| | Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
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| | "Fucked up things" | |
| | or | |
| | "My Venting Dream" | |
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| | By: chal e. mac | |
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ArrrrGH! Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like
everyone but you is a fuckin' moron? I'm sure you've had. My problem is I
have whole weeks when I feel like that. Turning on the TV, reading the
newspaper, buying my lunch, all these things tend to bring me into contact
with people and/or situations where I just have to step back and say "This
is fucked up!". I've decided to share a mere sliver of my experiences and
thoughts with you, not because I like you, no...I don't even know you, for
all I know you can be one of these fuckin' morons I run into every day, but
strictly for a more selfish reason, to keep myself sane. So have fun.
* * * * *
ANSI ART POSTING!
Why is it that every board has a base for ansi art or ansi bbs ads
and NO ONE one can figure out how to upload ansi? I mean it's not that
FUCKING HARD. I don't even do ansi and I know how to fucking upload some
just from reading the same fucking replies over and over till my fucking
eyes bleed and I wanna scream. Turn off the full screen editor, save it in
so many line mode, blah blah blah fucking blah. You don't believe me? You
think the mac man is just lookin' to bitch about somethin'? Then take this
test, if ye be so brave. Call up a local board, switch to the ansi art sub,
and check to see how many uploads actually came out right. The ratio is like
1 to 10....and on Nets it's even worse. I mean these ansi guys (and you
know who you are) are "talented" enough to make a decent drawing (well, some
of you anyway), or an ad, but they can't figure out how to upload the fucking
thing. And another thing, when they try to upload it and they fuck up, they
SEE the fuckin' messed up codes all over the screen and then they don't
DELETE the fuckin' thing! I mean how fucking dumb is that? Are you that
fuckin' stupid to think we all want to see your fucked up ansi codes? What's
even dumber are the next five fucking guys who quote the whole thing and
reply "It didn't come out right". No fuckin' shit Sherlock. Thanks for that
news update.
* * *
WAREZ COURIERZ!
Most people who know me know that I have a ton of pirated programs.
I know the ethical and moral implications of making such a statement. I'll
tackle the issue of copyright infringement and piracy in another article as
they themselves are deserving of a separate forum. For today I want to talk
a little bit about the people who make the amassing of such a pirate library
possible. I'm talking about the lowly warez courier.
Warez couriers have long been regarded as the dregs of the warez
underground. They usually possess little or no programming talents that they
can call their own. They can't circumvent the copy protection schemes themselves.
Their job in the underground heirarchy is to spread the pirate files to
bulletin boards all over this great land so that users, as long as they have
the necessary file points, may also have an opportunity to own a copy of the
program, sometimes before it's even released in stores.
And what a job they do. Although some files are spread by users
looking to boost their file points, there is usually at least one board per
area code that relies solely on the couriers to supply them with files.
These files are usually spread far and wide within days of their cracking.
So quickly, in fact, that some boards don't accept any pirated material
after 30 (or even fewer) days of it's cracking.
You would think that performing such a necessary duty, and
performing it well, would entail the members of the courier a some measure
of respect in the underground. Au Contrair, as the snooty people who use
foreign phrases would say. Why is this the case?
For most of the reasons listed in my second paragraph actually. As I
said earlier, couriers tend to have little or no talents themselves. For
this reason alone their jobs could be performed by anyone willing to make
the long distance calls to transfer the files. The people who supply the
uncracked programs are tough to replace because they either buy the programs
or work for a distributor or a store that gives them access to the programs.
They also ask for little if any recognition for their contribution. The
people who crack the copy protection are tough to replace for obvious
reasons. That leaves the courier as the only link in the chain that is
absolutely expendable. Because of the non-technical requirements for the
job, people could be replaced at will with little or no effect on the
distribution. The intelligence requirements drop even less when there can
be a script system set-up to logon and upload the files without the user
even being there.
But there's also a less than obvious reason. Warez couriers, for the
most part, tend to be annoying little dickless rodents. Most of the couriers
that I've had the misfortune of speaking to, never in person mind you, tend
to be overbearing, chest-thumping little geeks. They are possessed of a
self-importance that has little to do with reality. Their egos tend to be
over-inflated to the point of obnoxiousness. And if that's not enough for
you, they tend to never let a conversation end without mentioning that they
are a member of X, Y, Z, and <fill in courier group name here> and that
somehow that not only makes them better than you, but also entitles them to
all the faults listed above, and you'd better like it. Now that doesn't mean
that ALL couriers are like this. I know for a fact that the couriers serving
the 215 Area Code are nothing like this :) (shameless ass-covering). So the
next time you have the overwhelming urge to thank a courier group,
resist it.
* * *
A LESSON IN TOLERANCE
ArrrGH! The other day I went to rent a post office box from a
storage place (not the Post Office) in my neighborhood. The sign outside
this place says the prices start at $10/month. So, I go inside to inquire
about renting a box. There's a girl behind the counter about 22 to 25 years
old. Here's the conversation that took place:
Me: I'm interested in renting a mailbox. Can you give me some
info.
Her: Ya, it's $12 a month.
Me: The sign outside says they start at $10.
Her: What sign?
Me: The sign next to the front
door. You wanna see? (At this point she walks out from
behind the counter following me thru the front door.
I point at the sign) Right here. (She looks at the sign,
then turns around and walks back inside without saying a
word)
Her: They're $12 a month, you have to pay for 3 months up
front, the whole thing comes to $62.
Me: Wait a minute. You just saw the sign. It says $10.
Her: Well it's wrong. They're $12.
Me: Okay, $12 a month for 3 months is $36 not $62.
Her: There's a security deposit of $25.
Me: (Ignoring the fact that $36 + $25 =$61, and not $62)
Security deposit for what?
Her: For the mailbox.
Me: I know for the mailbox. I mean what's the deposit for?
I'm not taking the thing home with me.
Her: I don't know. Do you want one or not?
I'll stop here because at this point I really went ballistic and
reprinting my comments wouldn't enhance the story anyway. You tell me
there's a security deposit on an item that never leaves the fucking store?
Why? I mean what's the fuckin' logic behind that? What am I gonna do, blow
up my own fuckin' mailbox? I mean is it me? Why do I run into all the
fuckin' problems? We're supposed to be living in a service economy and
THERE'S NO FUCKIN' SERVICE! Am I expecting too much? I mean this
conversation is typical of the attitudes and intelligence you encounter on a
daily basis. I really wanted to rent the fuckin' mailbox and have one of
these little anarchy dudez blow the fuckin' thing up for me. Then they could
have kept the lousy $25 security deposit.
* * *
A RAPE IN CYBERSPACE...
I, for one, am losing patience with the popular press and their
stories regarding the evil things happening in "cyberspace". First it
started out with the evil hackers and what they were doing to your privacy
and how much they were costing big business (I guess you can tell who decided
that deserved column space $$). Then it degenerated rapidly into a whole
Pedophilia scare. I mean really. If mommy and daddy are so worried about
junior being seduced by a pedophile shouldn't they sit down with him and have
some heart-to-hearts? Wouldn't that be the best way to alleviate their fears?
Recently the mainstream media have joined the tabloid TV shows with stories
regarding the harassment of women in on-line chat areas of CompuServe and
other commercial services.
First things first, I am in no way condoning the harassment of women
in any forum, whether it be on-line or in-person. But, if you're willing to
pay the outlandish prices that C$erve charges to be in on-line chat areas
you deserve to be harassed, no matter your sex.
I mean I just don't see news worthiness of such a story. Does it come
as a surprise to anyone that women are verbally harassed in what is
basically an anonymous forum? Isn't everyone aware by now of the fact that
anonymity begets and, some could argue, actually encourages behavior that
otherwise wouldn't occur? Surely I am not the only one aware of this
troubling aspect of human behavior. Do you think that maybe the news media
is ignoring this fact because it doesn't "fit" into what their view of the
issues should be? Naw, they wouldn't do that, would they?
And on a related front, are women the only ones being harassed? I
seriously doubt it. Most flamers are equal opportunity assholes. If you do
one thing to upset them the flames start, no matter what your sex. So if the
aim of these articles is to inform and/or warn new users to these on-line
services about these troubling side effects of the chat rooms or forums,
where are the stories on the people who are obsessive flamers? In my opinion
this can be just as much of a nuisance as the infantile come-ons that these
articles warn about. They're obviously more abusive, and can be much more of
a shock to the uninitiated user. So where are these stories? They're left
in the editors delete box (or trash can if they're Mac users..heh..),
because they don't contain the necessary sex angle. You have to have that
sexual harassment, with the emphasis on sexual, you have to have that
struggle between the sexes, with the emphasis on sexes, angle to justify
your column space. It has to be sexy, it has to titillate, and if it informs
in the process, so be it, but that's not the main concern.
My only question to the women who complain about being sexually
harassed on-line, and to the writers who devote their column space to it:
"Maybe you should learn the /ignore command?"
* * *
WHY MOST TEXT FILES SUCK NOW
I think that bad text files are symptomatic of the whole scene in the
last few years. I've gotten really discouraged about the state of affairs
in the "computer underground". IMO it's really degenerated.
It used to be just the usual sniping between the hack/phreak crowd
and the wares doodz. Then we had the k0dez kids to deal with. Now this whole
"anarchy" thing has blossomed. It wouldn't be bad if it wasn't so....I'm
searching for a phrase here...intellectually lacking, I guess is good. I
mean I'm really tired of these fuckin' lame text files about such shit as
how to fuck with a car. I mean, if you're predisposed to that kind of
behavior, are you really that stupid that you need a text file to tell you
how to do it? I know I'm an older person to this scene, but isn't this type
of thing a grade-school-fantasy, I-wanna-blow-something-up-shit; tatamount
to sending magazine subscriptions to someone you dislike?
I can't tell you how fuckin' mad I get when I see the shit that
passes for .txt files these days. Most of the topics are beyond lame. They
read like they were written, and I use that word loosely, by some adolescent
with a mistaken view of his importance and/or knowledge. It's hard to find a
group that puts out quality information. A majority of the .txt files are
about topics I find to be too simplistic to even warrant the time to write a
file at all. I mean, do you really need someone to tell you how to fuck with
a locker? And how many groups are going to make a text file about it? How
many versions of this idea can there be?! The number of "groups" that are
springing up are also a source of annoyment for me too. It seems like every
other week some "group" springs onto the scene in my area code and proclaims
themselves to be the kewlest, the k-raddiest, the phatest, the whatever word
is new this week, and, of course, proclaims that they will take over the
entire scene in two weeks and we all should bow before them and be
assimiliated. If you've been in the scene for any length of time and have
been paying attention, you know what the next step is. They put out five or
so files with such thought provoking contents as: fun with school lockers,
how to take hostages the fool proof way(one of my favorites), how to fuck
with cars, and of course, how to blow things up real good! They insert high
ascii characters whenever they can and of course substitute "ph" for "f"
whenever possible. (My theory: the obsessive use of high ascii characters is
a reaction from the pimple medication, and the substitution is genetc.
Again, just a theory.) We all know that these "groups" are formed for one
purpose only: so that their "members" can add some kewl, k-rad, phat,
whatever TLA (3 letter acronym) to their macros and feel mega-important in
the scene.
At first I thought that this was strictly a local phenomenon. After
all, there always seem to be more lamers in your area code than anywhere
else in the world. But I was wrong. It's starting to permeate the whole
scene. In Phrack 45, a publication that I thought was the pinnacle, they
had a submission about how to fuck with your local Mcdonald's. What kind of
great info was contained therein? Putting a closed sign on the drive thru,
ripping the trash bags while their still in the can, and other really
adolescent shit. I mean, this kind of shit I expect on the local bbs that
caters to the pre-puberty set, but Phrack? I did submit a letter to the
editor but I doubt that it'll get published. Eric B. doesn't take criticism,
no matter how constructive, very well.
* * *
I'm glad I had the chance to Vent. I write text files just to get the
girlies! Well that's all for now. If anyone is offended by anything here:
FUCK YOU.
|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
| Mogel-Land........2157323413 /I'm a PiG\ Paranoia Subnormal.2153395831 |
| Hacker Crackdown..2159451907 |H )\@_@/( P| Stellar Nights.....6108969140 |
| T.E.K.A.T.........9088132738 |o ( (o) ) i| phunkyphatphreashphunkphunk!! |
| I Forget..........6105448001 |G <_O_> G| the NEXT generation |
| /<RaD-/<-/< House.8103480421 |s BuUuRP! s| of stoopid... |
| The Complex.......4107205305 \I'm a PiG/ |
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Copyright (c) 1994 HoE Publications and Chal E. Mac #29 --> 11/27/94
All rights are Reserved and Stuff.