💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › GWD › gwdnew14.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 12:08:46.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Oh my GawD! ***** FULLY FUNCTIONAL TRANNIES! ***** More from GwaD!
The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Incorporated
Brings YOU 20 Brand New Text Files for 2001!
(Issues 80-99 of GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime)
-=< NewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdS >=-
-=< GwD News, Issue #14 >=-
gwd80.txt - The Significance of 05-25-00 (by Kilroy),
gwd81.txt - mute. (by Kp Neato Dee),
gwd82.txt - Going Postal (by Franken Gibe),
gwd83.txt - A Semester in Russia, Part 3 (by Yancey Slide),
gwd84.txt - Medical Applications of Selective
Laser Sintering (SLS) (by Otis),
gwd85.txt - My Poetry & Why I Hate Poetry (by Grandmaster Ratte'),
gwd86.txt - Chach! (by Oscar the Pornographer),
gwd87.txt - Send 'Em Packing: Reasoning for
Congressional Term Limits (by Otis),
gwd88.txt - The Drug Project (by www.thedrugproject.org),
gwd89.txt - When Not Working (by Kp Neato Dee),
gwd90.txt - Am I Old School Yet? (by Jaffo),
gwd91.txt - Fuckin' HOEs (by Lobo Licious),
gwd92.txt - Language Acquisition: Philosophical
Variations on a Theme by Steven
Pinker (by Bob the Master of the
World),
gwd93.txt - OPEN THEM EYES! (by Kp Neato Dee),
gwd94.txt - Evaluating Some Premises of Hill's
Argument in "Self-Regarding Suicide" (by Otis),
gwd95.txt - Ubermensch and Raskolnikov (by Bob the Master of the
World),
gwd96.txt - A Look at Hardin's Attacks On
Contemporary Theories of Color (by Otis),
gwd97.txt - Dreams (by G. Ratte' & F. Gibe),
gwd98.txt - Sickness (by Some Sick Bastard),
AND....
gwd99.txt - ICC for You and Me: A Colorful
Children's Primer for the Statutes,
Progress, and Prospects of the
International Criminal Court (by Yancey Slide).
-+- GREEN is GOOD. -+-
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
R E L E A S E N O T E S
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
WORD TO YOUR MOMS.
Not much going on this time, G. Just some files for your reading pleasure.
These files are being released on 01-03-01, which is cool cuz it adds to five.
Heh.
Some of these files are by Grandmaster Ratte' and Franken Gibe of the cDc.
This, of course, is because we are better than you and we rub elbows with the
elite of the elite.
So, print the files out and read them in the can.
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Summaries of New Issues
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
"The Significance of 05-25-00"
= GwD80 =
Kilroy discusses the significa-
nce of 05-25-00, the date of
the last GwD release, and
quite possibly, the most sig-
nificant day ever. Rock balls.
-----
"mute."
= GwD81 =
Lubbock BBS legend Kp Neato Dee
makes his first contribution to
GwD. This file is so fucking
rad, I'll bet you $0.55 cents
that it'll make you all hot and
bothered, you fucking sluts.
-----
"Going Postal"
= GwD82 =
Another entry from Franken Gibe
he who is like unto God. cDc-
schmee-dee-see, his Gibeness is
at it again. Holy shit, this
file makes me want to go out &
pound shots of bourbon while
snorting cocaine until my heart
explodes! Gibe for God in '01!
-----
"A Semester in Russia, Part 3"
= GwD83 =
Yancey Slide recently spent a
semester in St. Petersburg,
Russia. Here is his story from
his own point of view (such a
novel concept). An interesting
look at life in the former
communist country that is now
struggling to find its true
calling (somewhat like GwD).
Of course, passages relating to
GwD Covert Ops in this country
that is now "our friend" have
been removed. You will read
this, and you will like it,
or Lenin's styrofoam corpse
will kill you. Part 4 is on
its way, soon...maybe.
-----
"Medical Applications of Selective Laser Sintering (SLS)"
= GwD84 =
Otis takes a break from alcohol
(see gwd68.txt) to discuss the
medical applications of a spec-
ific rapid prototyping process.
It's about making bones, man...
BONES. You made your bones,
got him at a deli. Congrats.
-----
"My Poetry & Why I Hate Poetry"
= GwD85 =
First Gibe, now Grandmaster
Ratte'? Holy fuck, those GwD
boys might actually have some-
thing if these telecom legends
are writing for them. Read
this or die, CHACH.
-----
"Chach!"
= GwD86 =
Oscar the Pornographer, a new
dr00g, finally defines "chach"
for all of you chach-ified
chaches out there in Chach-Land
Chach.
-----
"Send 'Em Packing: Reasoning for Congressional Term Limits"
= GwD87 =
Otis has been working hard
since he got back on the wagon.
Here's his take on the ongoing
"problem" of Congressional term
limits. Of course, "Congress"
will only matter for a few more
years, because GwD will soon
assume control of this pitiful
planet. Be prepared to lick
our boots, Earth-Scum!
-----
"The Drug Project"
= GwD88 =
Like, drugs should be legalized
and stuff, cuz drug crimes are
victimless. Yeah, man. Did
you see the tracers on that
Death Star?
-----
"When Not Working"
= GwD89 =
Kp Neato Dee's next entry, a
lovely discourse about being
unemployed. Or something like
that. Beautiful, flowery lang
-uage. This file rocks balls.
You will read it, and then you
will sell all of your belongi-
ngs and send the $cash$ to GwD
(P.O. Box listed below) and
then you will move to our com-
pound in Wyoming and prepare
for the End Times.
-----
"Am I Old School Yet?"
= GwD90 =
Net-Legend Jaffo endorses GwD
as the next big thing in the
textfile scene. What textfile
scene, you ask? Fuck you.
-----
"Fuckin' HOEs"
= GwD91 =
Lobo Licious gives an emotional
send-off to the Hogz of Entropy
a publication ALMOST as lame as
GwD. Read it, live it, love it.
-----
"Language Acquisition"
= GwD92 =
Bob relates a tale of language
acquistion. Duh. Read the tit
-le, jackass.
-----
"OPEN THEM EYES!"
= GwD93 =
Another one by Kp Neato Dee!
This guy never quits. OHMANOH,
this file is even *cooler* than
the other two by him in this
release. I mean, you will
seriously SHIT YOUR PANTS when
you read it. For the love of
God, man, READ THIS FILE. Print
it out! Make love to the print
-outs! Pour syrup all over
your body and hire midgets to
lick it off! You goddamn sluts!
-----
"Evaluating Some Premises of Hill's Argument in 'Self-Regarding Suicide'"
= GwD94 =
Otis is back on the scene with
this remarkable treatment of a
topic that has perplexed us for
centuries. In the words of the
Bloodhound Gang, "Life's short
and hard, like a body-building
elf, so save the planet and
kill yourself." Okay, fine,
that quote isn't relevant.
Read the file anyway, chach.
-----
"Ubermensch and Raskolnikov"
= GwD95 =
An interesting discussion of
whether or not the principal
character of _Crime and aPunish-
ment_ (one of the best books
ever written), is actually one
of Nietzsche's overmen. You
will read this file, or you
will be destroyed.
-----
"A Look at Hardin's Attacks on Contemporary Theories of Color"
= GwD96 =
Since we're all about *GREEN*
'round these parts, we decided
that you should have to read an
exciting essay about colors.
Hey, it's all part of your
brain-washing. That Otis sure
is covering a wide range of
topics in this release, isn't
he? That's because he's smart-
er than you.
-----
"Dreams"
= GwD97 =
cDc founders,Grandmaster Ratte'
and Franken Gibe, are now exclu
-sively contracted to GwD. Uhh,
did we say exclusively? We sure
didn't mean that shit, jackass.
Actually, these guys were just
nice enough to let us use some
of there stuff for this, a very
special GwD file. Slut.
-----
"Sickness"
= GwD98 =
The title says it all. This is
the kind of "funny" tale that
you laugh at, and then you feel
all dirty for laughing. Of
course, you *ARE* dirty, so
that feeling is nothing new.
-----
"ICC for You and Me"
= GwD99 =
Yancey Slide relates to you,
the lame-ass reader, lots and
lots of information about the
proposed International Criminal
Court. I suggest you read it
since some day you will stand
trial before the court for
crimes against humanity or oth-
er members of the animal king-
dom, you sick-o.
-----
-*- No Added Fillers. Just 100% Cheese for 100% Great Taste. -*-
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
What's going on in Grenedom?
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
-> HEADLINES <-
GwD is the coolest entity on the planet.
And *YOU* are a chach-a-rific *SLUT*.
The only real news this time is that we're releasing 20 files. What more do you
sons of bitches want?
PUSSY SESSION.
-> OTHER NEWS <-
Umm, also, the website now works. And GwDwarez was added, as was the page about
our "Family of Companies." Of course, "now works" is a relative term. The site
may not actually work for the first few hours (maybe even a whole day) after
this news file is sent out in e-mail.
That's about it, sluts. If you would get off your asses and do something, this
section wouldn't be so sparse. Kids these days, fah!
-> SUBMISSION INFORMATION <-
If you have ANYTHING to submit to GwD (artwork, text, outlandish claims, etc.),
DO NOT HESITATE to send it our way. "submit@GREENY.org" is there for you, baby.
Work must be 100% original and it must be understood that once submitted,
articles/artwork/photographs become the property of GwD, Inc. (unless they have
been previously published elsewhere) and we can use them however we see fit,
even if it's merely to make fun of them (and you).
-> LETTERS TO THE EDITOR <-
[All spelling/grammar errors are those of the author(s) and are not errors on
the part of GwD, cuz, well, we're perfect. Yeah.]
-----
From: Harris40tude@aol.com
Date: Wed, 27 Sep 2000 00:15:53 EDT
Subject: Sperm donor criteria
To: gwd@greeny.org
How can I donate sperm samples so as to help an infertile couple bring into
fruition the gift and miracle of life? Where might I look to find places in
my area (about ten miles east of Philadelphia) to participate?
Matthew
-----
From: "third try"<travis@thirdtry.com>
Date: Mon, 23 Oct 2000 06:35:23
To:editor@greeny.org
Subject: Hey, check out this band!
Hi, we are third try. I guess you could call us pop-punk. Anyways, we are
writing you because we heard that you like bands like us, and we wanted you to
visit our website: http://www.thirdtry.com. On thirdtry.com you can find FREE
MP3s of our music, so you can see for yourself how great we really are. Thank
you for your time.
Sincerely Yours,
third try
PS: Also, while you are there, check out how you can help us win the Ernie Ball
battle of the bands and win a cool purple glitter guitar!
[Purple is not cool.]
-----
From: Kilroy <kilroy@greeny.org>
Subject: Heya -
To: gwd@greeny.org
Date: Fri, 6 Oct 2000 10:34:15 -0600 (MDT)
just found this in my research...
http://www.asdf.com/asdfgreen.html
-kilroy
-----
~~~~~
-*- Keep Texas Beautiful -*-
CONTACT:
The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Inc.
http://www.GREENY.org/
Pubs - http://gwd.mit.edu/ - Pubs
ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/
gwd@GREENY.org
P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas - 79490
- for moral, ethical, spiritual, and financial guidance -
* Lusty busty teens - always live and ready! *
The GwD Task Force, Inc. - Bringing YOU All the Best in Absolute Crap Since 1993
by Lobo Licious ***** copyright (c) MM GwD, Inc. ***** release date = 01-03-01
-*- GwD - "God, we're Dorks." - GwD -*- GwDN14