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Oh my GawD! ***** LARGE LOVELIES WITH A BIG HUNGER FOR XXX ***** More from GwaD!
The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Incorporated
Brings YOU 8 Brand New Text Files for Thanksgiving 1999!
(Issues 68-75 of GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime)
-=< NewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdS >=-
gwd68.txt - FUCK ALL FORMS OF WIRELESS COMMUNICATION (by Otis and Priest),
gwd69.txt - In Anticipation of Shoes (by slave daphne),
gwd70.txt - The Dr00gist Manifesto (by Lobo Licious & STM),
gwd71.txt - The Ride (by Franken Gibe),
gwd72.txt - Satan, Sodomy, and the Governor's School (by Charles Zeps),
gwd73.txt - Hanoi Jane (by Author(s) Unknown),
gwd74.txt - Shakespeare Silliness, Part Deux (by Lobo & Yancey Slide),
AND....
gwd75.txt - The Beat of a Different Drummer (by Priest).
(These files [and all the others] are available at http://gwd.mit.edu/)
-+- GREEN is GOOD. -+-
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
R E L E A S E N O T E S
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
WORD TO YOUR MOMS.
This here is the Old School
mutha-fuckin' GwD release from
Hell, beatch. That's right...
every one of these files was
written back in da day. Most of
dem wuz written around '92-'95.
Ol' school files from GwD...all
for you, you punk mutha-fucka.
Fine, #68 wuz writ in the 9-8,
foo', but dat shit still be a
year old. And we don't know
when #73 was writ, but it's
about da 1970s, so it's ol'
skool enough. 'Course ** #69 **
really ain't that old neither,
but it's hard-effin'-core, so
step your punk-ass to the curb.
Why Old School shiznit? Why
not, chach?
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Summaries of New Issues
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
"FUCK ALL FORMS OF WIRELESS COMMUNICATION"
= GwD68 =
-----
-> NOSTALGIA FROM 1998 <-
Otis tells his tale of drunken
debauchery at a "gentleman's
club." Priest fills in the
details that are sketchy due to
Otis' intoxication. A shocking
look at the affects of alcohol,
exotic dancing, and optometry.
Read it now, or suffer the fate
of Otis. Okay, fine, he's not
dead or anything. But read it
anyway, PIGGIE.
-----
"In Anticipation of Shoes"
= GwD69 =
-----
-> NEW FOR 1999 <-
As Domination is part of our
name, this file was an obvious
choice for #69. daphne, a real
life sex slave, tells the true
story of a trip she and her
Mistress took to find a pair of
shoes. WARNING: this article
contains *vivid* sexual descrip
-tions. Don't read it if you
are easily offended. Also, if
you have a heart condition, you
probably should not read it. Be
sure not to soil the keyboard.
-----
"_The Dr00gist Manifesto_"
= GwD70 =
-----
-> NOSTALGIA FROM 1996 to 1999 <-
The companion to GwD60 (_The
Book of KeyLime_), GwD70, _The
Dr00gist Manifesto_, details
the quasi-political half of our
dogma. Read it. Feel It. Love
it. Live it. Rock Balls. You
are either part of the Solution
or you are part of the Problem.
Either way, you are now working
for Grene in Her ecoterroristic
crusade to rid the world of the
oppression of the Shopping Mall
State. Five stars.
-----
"The Ride"
= GwD71 =
-----
-> NOSTALGIA FROM 1993 <-
Franken Gibe gives an almost
journalistic look at part of
one of his legendary cross-
country road trips. Without a
doubt one of the most literary
issues of GwD to date. And you
read that right. Franken Gibe,
co-founder and High Priest of
the cDc (not to mention SysGod
of the /<ingdom of Shit), wrote
a t-file SPECIFICALLY for GwD.
Well, not really *for* GwD. It
was originally a g-file on his
BBS, but he said we had his
permission if we wanted to re-
lease it, so here it is. cDc
has also already released part
of it, but we're releasing ALL
of it. It's *all* ready to go
for YOU, baby.
-----
"Satan, Sodomy, and the Governor's School"
= GwD72 =
-----
-> NOSTALGIA FROM 1993 <-
Written in 1993, GwD has only
recently acquired this shocking
expose of a school in the home
state of El Presidente, Billy
Clinton. Charles Zeps provides
a provocative look at a serious
issue that was overlooked in
the last two Presidential Camp-
aigns. Satanism and sodomy have
more to do with our Commander-n
-Stuff than you might think.
Very insightful, esp. in light
of the impending 2000 election.
-----
"Hanoi Jane"
= GwD73 =
-----
-> FACTS ABOUT A CELEBRITY <-
A look at a woman being consid-
ered for the honor of being
named one of the "100 Greatest
Women of the Century." Most
definitely not a flattering
piece about Jane Fonda, Queen
of the Exercise Videos and wife
of multi-millionaire mogul Ted
Turner. Just what was she doing
in North Vietnam during the
war? Read this to find out.
-----
"Shakespeare Silliness, Part Deux"
= GwD74 =
-----
-> NOSTALGIA FROM 1994 <-
You thought it would never come
but it has. The way-anticipated
sequel to the epic "Shakespeare
Silliness, Part the First" from
1994. On the surface, it seems
to be little more than a ripoff
of a major motion picture. But,
I say thee, "Nay!" Five years
and 50 issues later(there could
not be a better time), the
prophecy is realized, and the
captives are released. Or maybe
something less dramatic. Okay.
Definitely less dramatic.
-----
"The Beat of a Different Drummer"
= GwD75 =
-----
-> NOSTALGIA FROM 1992 <-
That's right, it's the fabled
"BETH.TXT" that your parents
warned you about. BE AFRAID.
All's fair in love and war, es-
pecially in high school. This
was originally slated to be re-
leased as "GwD Adult" #1, but
that ain't gonna happen, so we
brought it to you anyway. Now
Digitally Remastered by the
author himself,it's badder than
ever...an intimate look at high
school band trips and revenge.
The warning from #69 applies
here also, along with the fact
that this file is not for the
faint of heart. Mega-seriously.
Priest says that reading it
"made my roommate physically
ill." With a review like that,
it's sure to be a hit.
-----
-*- No Added Fillers. Just 100% Cheese for 100% Great Taste. -*-
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
What's going on in Grenedom?
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
-> HEADLINES <-
This issue of GwDNews marks a momentous occasion: our primary publication has
reached issue #75. We are Gods among men.
-> OTHER NEWS <-
A zip file of all the crap we've ever released has been added to the GwD
Publications WebSite, to make it easier for you to download our drivel all at
once and then enjoy it on your own time in the privacy of your own home. Be
sure to keep the tissues handy, you dirty hooker.
GwD was added to the "magazines" directory on "textfiles.com". Go to:
http://www.textfiles.com/
and check our stuff out, if you think you're too good for the GwD Publications
site (which you're not, btw). Or check it out anyway. It's a pretty cool site.
GwDwarez are now (or soon will be) available on the GwDweb site at
www.GREENY.org. If you don't remember GwDwarez, then you're quite lucky, as
they suck major ass. They're fine examples of shitty programming. This is why
the GwDwarez project was put on hiatus in 1997. The only reason they are going
to be re-released now is for our groupies, the little girls in the cute school
uniforms who just *HAVE TO* collect everything the GwD name has ever graced.
Yup, that's right. We're hunting them down and making them available again just
for YOU, cuz you my bestest most bitch.
The group as a whole is pretty inactive right now, due to covert ops in which
many dr00gs and dr00gettes are currently involved. The ops, of course, count as
"news," but they're classified. For now.
-> SUBMISSION INFORMATION <-
If you have ANYTHING to submit to GwD (artwork, text, outlandish claims, etc.),
DO NOT HESITATE to send it our way. "submit@GREENY.org" is there for you, baby.
Work must be 100% original and it must be understood that once submitted,
articles/artwork/photographs become the property of GwD, Inc. (unless they have
been previously published elsewhere) and we can use them however we see fit,
even if it's merely to make fun of them (and you).
-> LETTERS TO THE EDITOR <-
[All spelling/grammar errors are those of the author(s) and are not errors on
the part of GwD, cuz, well, we're perfect. Yeah.]
-----
From: "Lowlife3" <lowlife3@netten.net>
To: <GwD@GREENY.org>
Subject: understood
Date: Thu, 7 May 1998 01:03:11 -0500
(Deep voice Over)But you have to relize that kiley and I will rule the world
with the spice girls and my queen danielle fishel I will rule the west and
Kiley will rule the east and it shall be grand(Deep voice ends)
1998 WORLD DOMINATION (c)
Paid for by people who have power levels over 9000(tm)
[Sure, we got this e-mail over a year ago. We've finally decided to give up
trying to figure out what the hell it's talking about. Anyone who has a clue,
let us know.]
-----
From: 9621-music <music@hst9621.hasting.com>
Date: Fri, 13 Aug 1999 20:33:29 -0700
To: GwD@GREENY.org
Subject: fork.
hey there god-like dr00gs in GwD,
just thought you'd like to know that i found a fork in the latin CD section
just now...please tell me i'm not the only one who finds this the slightest bit
odd. word.
-scumdog a.g.
[Who the hell are you and what are you blathering about?]
-----
From: jacksbak2@aol.com
Date: Sun, 14 Mar 99 15:09:20 EST
To: GwD@GREENY.org
Subject: OMG HOT!!!!
Reply-to: ccd@tampabay.rr.com
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[Why thanks, Sugar Pie...ain't you just the sweetest thing?]
-----
~~~~~
-*- It's our way to say "Thank you," just for reading our crap. -*-
CONTACT:
The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Inc.
http://www.GREENY.org/
Pubs - http://gwd.mit.edu/ - Pubs
ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/
gwd@GREENY.org
P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas - 79490
- for moral, ethical, spiritual, and financial guidance -
The GwD Task Force, Inc. - Bringing YOU All the Best in Absolute Crap Since 1993
by Lobo Licious - copyright (c) MCMXCIX GwD, Inc. ***** release date = 11-25-99
-*- GwD - "God, we're Dorks." - GwD -*- GwDN12