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"Obviously you are not someone
who is interested in such
intangibles as demographics or
anything as complicated
as market research."
--Sir Cygnus of (860)
165. 8feb99
,
_ || ' happy
< \, =||= \\ fullmoon
/-|| || || we've
(( || || || waited
\/\\ \\, \\ so
long 4!
MAY CONTAIN PEANUTS
Brook is either broke or breaking up
with Andre; the only good thing about
Donny and Marie are their ears; and
suddenly Susan is on everybodys'
tongues.
Why, why, why!
Greetings fellow above average people -
you too in the cheaper seats, it's ATI,
Activist Television Interview, issue 165.
Wow.
ATI is brought to you by MaShuGa Cookies,
Baked With Organic Flour.
"Cookies so good it'll make you crazy!"
Mashuga Nuts, Inc.
San Rafael, CA 94903
What...You were expecting Brooklyn?
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| ^ ^ |
(| * * |)
-----oOOo---(____)---oOOo------
http://www.zip.com.au/~dm
http://www.columbia.edu/~carson/JohnDoe
http://www.nativeamericanmusic.com
http://www.foodnotbombs.org
http://fly.to/zine-express
http://baez.woz.org
http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/ati130.html
http://www.thebird.org
http://www.olga.net
http://www.dogeatdogfilms.com
http://www.freespeech.org/kokopeli/frucht.html
http://www.rukind.com
elvis.out.trw.com
AND NOW A WORD FROM THE ATI PUBLISHER
Ugh!
OK, that was two words, sorry. All Right.
I turn this column over to my close friend
Cygnus (860) who has a few good words for you
all:
Dear Sirs,
Do you ever get replies to your bulk
emailing that could be considered emotionally
damaging? If so I have written a program
that filters out phrases such as "Spam Spewing
Simpletons" or "Leave me alone you Bastards"
from incoming emails, leaving you undisturbed
with the untold countless millions that await
you in your new found effort to get rich without
ever really producing a product or indeed a
service that is worth anything.
I have even made the filter's sensitivity
level adjustable so that you can set the
automatic deletion function to activate at
the familiar phrase "Fuck You" at minimum
to "I didn't request any of this information",
or "Unsubscribe" at maximum.
Obviously you are not someone who is
interested in such intangibles as demographics
or anything as complicated as market research.
You believe that everyone should be interested
in your new found way of buying houses using
only used popsicle sticks and husks of Spanish
onions. I applaud you for your deep under
standing of human nature that everyone wants
to know these things and will send you $19.95
to reward you for your philanthropic endeavors.
And there is no reason why you should have to
put up with the few ingrates that wish to
vocalize their misguided frustration by sending
negatively charged email to you , directly
interfering with your ability to enjoy making
the untold millions that await you.
My simple program SCUMRID costs a mere
$35.00, takes up a mere 50k of disk space,
and takes seconds to install and works FAST.
Some even say its over efficient, increasing
system performance in areas they didn't expect.
Many companies insist that after using my
program they found they had increased the
amount of free hard drive space to a level
they had enjoyed before they installed their
bulk emailing program and in some case their
ENTIRE OPERATING SYSTEM!!!
Please send all enquiries to:
Cygnus@downcity.net
/\
\/
WE GET A COUPLE LETTUCE 1'S IN A WILEY
To Yous Guys:
Just a thought I want you to roll
around your noggins while you work
on your next publication.
100 Soothsayers of National
Doom: All of them.
Haiku Mike (212)
Dear Sir/Madam
As an user of the Microsoft Internet
Explorer, Microsoft Corporation provides
you with this upgrade for your web
browser.
It will fix some bugs found in your
Internet Explorer. To install the
upgrade, please save the attached
file (ie0199.exe) in some folder
and run it.
For more information, please
visit our web site at
http://www.microsoft.com/ie/
[ummm. didn't u dorks INVENT
the spellchecker???]
-------------------
ATI. your fAvoriTe mIstake
-----------------------
to ati@etext.org:
UNIVERSITY DEGREE PROGRAMS
Increase your personal prestige and money
earning power through an advanced
university degree.
Eminent, non-accredited universities will
award you a degree for only $200.
Degree granted based on your present
ability to send $200. No further
effort necessary on your part.
Just a short phone call is all that is
required for a BA, MA, MBA, or PhD
diploma diluting the field of your
choice.
For details, call 602-230-4252
[ed note: thanks for sending these.
I liked the 687th one the best.
It was much more witty than all the
others, especially the 127th...]
[our favorite letter to the editor this
week came in the form of a great poem]
it's from erin, aka: tjmax
he ar two they are
every ware they are
gno where what when
how we s(t)ay sane in
format (i) on.
thanks
aer in
---
ATI - The Web Offset Press
--- That's N O T a HOE.
Hello
I found some of your work on the web
and wanted to invite you to visit our
literary journal - A Writer's Choice.
Please feel free to submit your work.
http://members.spree.com/writer/
Thank you and Good luck,
Leslie Blanchard
Editor
A Writer's Choice Literary Journal
ISSN: 1521-2319
to: ati@etext.org
I've just recieved a disturbing phone
call from a couple of long time on
the land supporters at Big Mntn.
Today (Feb 2, '99) the livestock
confiscations may have started in earnest,
or at the very least they are surveying
the areas they intend to hit soon.
There were aparently several confiscation
crews on the land around what we call
"Down town Big Mntn" or the area around
Anna Mae camp. That's realy all i know
but it disturbs me enuf to send out this
posting. The supporters have asked me
to send out a request for immeadiate
supporter presence on the land. Any who
can get out there in the next day or two
are asked to do so. This is at the
very least a harrasment and threat of
confiscation to mess with the elders heads.
The relocation folks are growing desperate
to get the last resisters off the land
before the UN can act.
walk in Beauty,
m.g.
-------------------
ATI. your fAvoriTe mIstake
-----------------------
USPS ANNOUNCES "THIRD PENNY" INCREASE.
<PAWN>-Washington, DC
Unveiling a stamp series devoted to the
Longplaying album (the LP) the United
States Postal Service will be increasing
price April 1, 1999 by 1/3 of a penny
to make the cost of delivering a first
class letter thirty three and one third
cents.
General Inspector, Sidney Bloomingthal
said the stamps will be really neat.
"Buddy Holly, Elvis, Marco Capelli,
the Beatles, Little Eva, Harry Fox,
Phil Spector, they're all gonna be on
there," said Bloomingthal at a press
conference yesterday at the Rose Garden.
He said each stamp will honor someone
who's put out an album. If they don't have
an LP, they won't be on a stamp. That got
around regulations for only honoring dead
people. Each person's face will be
emblazoned inside an album. Artists are
being hired from a field of poppies as
we go to press.
Bloomingthal called for a 24-hour
moment of silent speculation as to what
other musicians will be honored on the
33 1/3 cent stamp this April. Rumors are
that Michael B. Williams, Getty "John Paul"
Lee, and KISS will all make an appearance.
-30-
-------------------
ATI. your fAvoriTe mIstake
-----------------------
"I'm praying about this [Clinton's peaches
of important articles] and I don't mean that
figuratively, this is a serious matter."
--Senator Byrd, Politicial, Propagandist,
Perjurer, and Popular Politician Punisher.
OPEN LETTER TO SOMETIME SENATOR ROBERT BYRD
When have you been figurative about praying??
I REALLY want to know this.
Tipping your hand, you give me need now to
ask every human who calls the self a Christian
how figuratively they be.
Do you swear to schpiel the truth, the ruthless
truth, and nothing but the soothsaying sleuthtruth
so help you fig leaf?
Spring is here, can you hear it?
Birds. You've been right since 5 or 6 years old.
Don't let them beat it out of you. Or you've got
"uphill," getting it back the rest of your life!
While we allow our "clergy" to preach hate,
what are we doing to God's children all over
the world???
PRESS RELEASE:
From: NAMMYS@aol.com
This year's show is scheduled for
June 19th at Foxwoods. We have a
NAMMY winners tour going out in May
featuring Joanne Shenandoah, R. Carlos
Nakai Quartet, John Trudell and Walela.
More information will be on our
website shortly.
http://www.nativeamericanmusic.com
Nammys (212)
***U R Tuned 2 KATI***
*** Radius Radio. ***
*** 207.12.10.9 on ***
***your nameserver ***
Ghost-writer
Copyright 1999 Michael Boren Williams
All International Rights Reserved
Do you recognise all the songs you hear
Are the melodies slow to leave your ear
Well I could say the same
Of course I heard them first
They came to me in dreams
Then people stole my work
I'm a ghostwriter
Oh
I'm a ghostwriter
Oh
Did you really believe those clowns compose
Haven't you noticed
the playback at their shows
Well they don't want you to hear
how they really sound
And they don't want me to be
anywhere around
'Cause I'm their ghostwriter
Oh
I'm a ghostwriter
Oh
Give a little bit of bass
Watch the seventh and the flat
Keep the cello where it's at
No vibrato on the eighth
Have the girls sing in thirds
Have the flautists play like birds.
Now they've hypnotised millions
with their licks
Using all of the high-tech studio tricks
And starving chaps like me
live in obscurity
While so-called "super-stars"
fill the phoney charts
I'm a ghostwriter
Oh
I'm a ghost-writer
Oh
Watch the level on the verse
Catch the echo
Change the snare
Put some reverb back in there
Try to punch in if you can
Got to tune before you pan
Load the samples in the box
Try compressing at the gate
Bounce the tracks
It's getting late
Find the humming in the mix
Get the chips off of the board
Now the decibles have soared
Make it analog to DAT
Leave the digital alone
The union freaks are going home
--- ---- ---
http://www.williamsmusic.simplenet.com/ghostwriter.mp3
Rapsong In Blue
by Tophat Girthman (212)
Cause a this sound
I got a feelin it'll scream
Up the charts.
This my pseudo
Intellectual alternative song
About Pop Tarts.
Here is a sound
And I think it'll work.
20 years a music knowlege
For this song, I just shirk.
Everything sucks, everything sucks
Everything sucks, everything
Sucks.
Even my vacuum cleaner.
We'll kick your assess
Kick your asses, kick your
Asses.
Cause even my bedroom is cleaner.
MTV sucks, MTV sucks, MTV sucks,
MTV
Sucks.
Even my vacuum cleaner.
Knows my dog's meaner.
/\-----/
/ending/
/----\-/
We end ATI 165 with a very short poem
Needless Things;
Need Less Things
send all sendmail to:
ati@etext.org