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Checking in – May 2022

Can't believe that this month is already over so quickly. There's not that much to report on today so don't think this will take too long.

Creative works and such-like

As opposed to last month, I don't think there is much to discuss about this month. I haven't really got much done this month for reasons that I am not really clear myself.

I did manage to finish a couple of pages of conworlds, and I have finally managed to get a new language off the ground.

I haven't programmed much this month at all, though I had a dream that helped me a little bit. A bit. Not really.

Much of the problems that I had with sustaining this creative power will be discussed later.

There's a quite a few more spare articles I want to write down the pipeline so they would come out over the next few weeks to months.

Careers search

Similarly, I haven't really managed to get any university applications in. I should really have more than a couple sent in, but there is a problem where I simply can't seem to be able to write motivation letters correctly. Don't really know why, and it's costing me a lot.

I do want to keep trying, but writing this kind of things is so hard. I feel like I'm having trouble keeping up. But I must continue.

Time estimates

One of the biggest concerns I have with myself for this month is the somewhat lack of progress I have made with regards to various things, and one of the more critical things seems to be that writing always seems to take longer than it used to be.

I've just finished my last article, pending upload to the capsule once it comes back online again (it seems to have gone down for maintenance.) It has just shy of 6,000 words now that I have finished it, but has taken me well over fourteen hours to get there. This is just a thing that I wanted to write – imagine how long it would take for me to actually write something because I /want/ to.

#+BEGIN: clocktable :scope file
#+CAPTION: Clock summary at [2022-05-27 Fri 17:15]
| Headline                     |  Time |     % |
|------------------------------+-------+-------|
| Total time                   | 14:29 | 100.0 |
|------------------------------+-------+-------|
| Petrolheads and anoraks –... | 14:29 | 100.0 |
#+END:

It's kind of been bothering me a lot, and don't really know what to do about it.

Family

More problems with family persist. I'll spare you most of the details, as I'm not entirely too clear about everything myself, but there are huge plans afoot and a of timers running, some for waiting and as a limit. There are even ones whose values can't be seen.

The main problem is that I want to go abroad to study, and there is the additional issue that the family as a whole wants to go somewhere abroad too for various issues with regard to security. Only some of us can't go because of health reasons, and there are additional problems with regard to how income will work.

I don't really know what to do, but what is clear that sitting around and treading water isn't going to work out. But that's not very helpful in giving me directions. And I don't really know if what I am doing is giving me positive progress.

⸻

Unrelated, but I've been trying to play Minecraft for a good while now, but if there's one thing I'm better at doing than procrastinating for applications, it'll be procrastinating to play games…