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Parties
by j z provo
"yahsss, I've been on *the*stage* for years..."
...blah blah blah art blah blah blah "conformists" blah blah blah
Ginger blah blah....
...one of the best and worst parts about working on a show, on
the boards or in tech or in production, _has_ to be The Cast Party. (Not to
be confused with The Crew Party. On some levels, like h.s. and non-theatrical
colleges, the two are one and the same. But this is before the actors become
[dramatic pose please] AcTORS!) O joy -- just what I want to see, a group of
people trying to out-impress one another.
"Back in OUR theater group, we did a version of..."
...the stories are all as fabricated as the people. A
bunch of people with such weak egos that they can _become_ someone else for
a period of hours, weeks, months even. . . and then they want to be re-assured
that they are actually someone of 'substance', instead of just another mask,
just another pose, just another way of walking. So they find a great hovering
herd of other weak-egoed [read: sense-of-self] people and spend the night
drinking, singing, trying to maneuver one another or anyone into bed,
dredging up old stories and past triumphs [of their false selves], appearing
to debate lofty concepts and trying to come out 'on top' in their inflated
little flown-in, plywood-'n'-cheap paint, as-long-as-it-looks-good-from-
the-front-row world. They are _still_ performing . . . and still expecting
applause. They won't hear any from me, though.
I am one to be their technician; I lubricate their conversations,
dealings and manipulations with esoteric music ["ohh, yes I saw that album in
the used record store...in the import section, wasn't it?"] and alcohol. I
give them each their fifteen minutes; I nod at the appropriate spots in their
speeches and make appreciative noises. And then I move on. . . I don't
critique their performances ["Perhaps you need one _more_ dead relative story
to really convince me that you 'Know' death. Try it again."] but I don't
try to stop them.
Yes, I'm full of vituprative speech for them, but I'm no better.
How _can_ I deem myself far enough above "them" to pass judgment? How am
I sure that I'm not just wearing a different face to try and pass off my ego
as strong?
I can't. For I am one. I never pass judgment, I merely observe. So
let me perch at the bar and give me my moments before I give you your fifteen
minutes. I have to make notes for _my_ next performance.