💾 Archived View for midnight.pub › posts › 761 captured on 2022-04-29 at 12:35:52. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content

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On the LAM again

~inquiry

Immersion in textural socials has mostly been the same for me, whether local BBSes, newsgroups, various fora, Medium, write.as, tilde.whatever, this "pub": a perpetual, mostly dissatisfying Look At Me dance (originally typed 'exercise', but not recalling the act ever leading to much enhanced physical vitality).

Digging through lots of "phlog"s of late led to spikes of said itch down that hole-iverse <coughs>. Maybe get back with sdf.org and big-toe-dip the, overbite (I think that's how one referred to it) space? <wonders if they deleted the old account, or it's simply inaccessibly dormant for not paying in a while>

But then, well, decades of dashed hopes (probably mostly for having been insanely unrealistic) collectively scream that venue doesn't matter. One is either lucky in terms of chancing upon kindred spirits, or not.

But see all that above?

Pathetic.

I mean, who could possibly care about biased evaluations of inner states across decades?

Honestly. Who could possibly fucking care?

Trouble is, I do. I mean, when others do that. I just so happen to enjoy reading such, leading to the huge mistake of imagining others might enjoy if/when I do the same.

But they don't. Or they don't enough. Or whatever it is.

(Ack, of course it's the same 'ole ego pathetica....)

So, I dunno. Whaddaya do? Be utterly one-directional about it? Just post whatever comes to mind and never look back, i.e. at comments/replies?

But isn't that firmly in the direction of huge waste of time? Why not just append the like to the same file? Or different files?

Or /dev/null?

Aren't online fora essentially /dev/null anyway? (Unless one is... a "hottie" (is there a more in vogue term for that these days? fuck if I know...) or already socially popular such that others feel ego-swell by ass-ociation?)

(Got word part way through this that school is closed today <huge hoots of inner screaming joy>. More sleep might have been nice, but I was up an hour before the alarm, hit the treadmill, readied the usual shit for the usual workday, etc.)

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~tetris wrote (thread):

if you LAM to boost yourself -- booooo !

if you LAM to potentially boost others -- dance freely!

sdf.org

now this was a fun rabbithole