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~abacushex

seems like no matter what I'm doing, I should be doing something else

That's hitting the nail on the head. With a pneumatic hammer, too. The push-pull between ambition and self-judgement, and knowing in the middle that I'm driving both those buses headlong into each other, and no one but me truly cares that I'm doing it, or if I decide not to.

Absence of mind, maybe needs some absinthe of mind. Dammit now I'm getting the other pair of voices, the ones called "It's 5 oclock somewhere" and "Judgement? What Judgement?"

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~inquiry wrote (thread):

There may have been a breakthrough last night.

Sure, there may be some THC credit due.

Sure, this wouldn't be the first time I thought I had/experienced "THE" breakthrough.

Sure, it's so hard to be sure.

But the results were undeniable.

Not that it wasn't possible to slip back into mental morass again at any instance (but likewise in the other direction).

But the difference was absence of just one thought.

This one: I

Honestly. It suddenly became obvious that raging waters of mind quelled to greater degrees in the absence of any thought pertaining to "I" (including derivative-ish matters like "me" and "mine"...).

In fact, there was intense joy in simple raw attention to im-mediate matters - the hyphen in 'im-mediate' suggesting absence of an "I" to mediate/filter/interpret, i.e. to be The One present for any proverbial trees falling in the proverbial woods.

Because sans the thought of an I suffering (aka enduring in time) anything in particular ...

... there quite simply isn't one?

(NOTE: your results may vary for content having shifted meaning across individuality-defined conceptuality contexts)