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This is a sort of response to a journal entry by ~jfm in their commonplace book on carcosa.net.
on 2020-07-07, ~jfm writes:
Having vivid dreams, reading less.
I've been having really vivid dreams for a while, really being an Inhabitant of Carcosa. I haven't captured any good quotes from my reading, because I've been too busy to read, and I've lately fallen back on reading some light fiction instead of the important nonfiction I'd picked out before...
gemini://carcosa.net/journal/commonplace-book.gmi
This is me. I relate so hard to this right now, this summer in the First Year of Covid.
I am usually a voracious reader. I read for pleasure and entertainment, and I read for knowledge and experience and know how.
I usually consume 80 - 90 books a year. I put notes on my wiki and reviews on my goodreads.
Since the start of our troubles, I think I've managed to finish a single book these four months[5]. I have no stamina, energy, or attention span. I certainly cannot read anything "difficult" which at this point, for me, means anything that requires effort or attention. Pretty much all non-fiction is a non-starter. I can only really tolerate escapist fantasy.
My solution to this would be to work on focus and attenion through meditation, but meditation is kind of broken for me right now too. Every time I sit, the negative feelings that wash over me are just too much while my day-to-day waking moments are already also awash with the same. Which is a double edged sword because the less I sit the less focus I have *to* sit and my attention muscles continue to atrophy.
Anyway, yeah. I haven't been able to enjoy reading.
Which is different from what ~jfm is describing, which is being too busy to read. But the end result is the same, and I regret my sudden inability to engage with one of my favorite passtimes.
Because of the stress and anxiety of these troubled times we live in--and now also because of the heat[1]--I've been sleeping less soundly and dreaming more vividly and more often.
So much so that I've started writing them down. (And even publishing them online!)
https://tilde.team/~dozens/dreams/
I think that "covid dreams" are a pretty well documented phenome at this point. A quick ddg brings up stories on cnn[3] and Smithsonian Magazine[2] about them. It's all stress enduced.
I've always had pretty vivid dreams, with a lot of recurring themes and locations. But the number has really skyrocketed lately. But rarely have they ever remained quite so firmly in my memory, even days later.
I'm a big believer in the power of sleep ever since reading the phenomenal *Why We Sleep*[4], and I fear for the compounding physcial and mentals effects of ongoing sleep deficit.
On the other hand, there may never be a better time to get into lucid dreaming!
[1] we just moved into this little house next to the park, just outside of downtown, and I love it. But there's no air conditioning. And it feels like I'm piloting a ship at sea, constantly having to adjust the sails and rudders and the rigging in response to the changes in the environment in order trap cool air in certain parts of the house, and try to keep the sun and warm air out. Is that an apt analogy? I've never sailed a ship in my life. But I've seen movies and I've read books.
[2] Insomnia and Vivid Dreams on the Rise With COVID-19 Anxiety, 2020-04-23. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/insomnia-and-vivid-dreams-rise-pandemic-anxiety-180974726/
[3] The meaning behind your strange coronavirus dreams, 2020-04-12. https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/10/health/meaning-dreams-coronavirus-wellness/index.html
[4] Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams, Matthew Walker. 2017. Simply a life changing read. I highly recommend the audiobook.
[5] The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3317890691
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