💾 Archived View for inconsistentuniverse.space › gemlog › 2021-12-17-reloop.gmi captured on 2022-04-29 at 11:22:00. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Re: Stuck in a Loop

This is just brief thoughts spurred by ew0k's post

Do you ever feel stuck in a loop?

Oh, god so I read this part

What have I done for the past few weeks?

* Running.

* Working.

* Watching series and films on Netflix and Disney+.

* Procrastinating everything on my projects list, because the first and most important item is boring.

Without writing about my life and thoughts here I don't think it would become as obvious to me that I just am and do virtually nothing on my spare time.

This shouldn't be a problem; after all no person's value is measured in achievement and no time is better spent than the one you enjoy. It does, however, produce a certain amount of anxiety to want things done but not wanting to do them.

And I knew I need to comiserate a bit.

I've been feeling this a lot lately with how some of my depression works. I have so many things I want to be doing all the time but I just can't seem to focus or get started and time keeps slipping away from me. I like making music and weird art and going on multihour walks and experimenting in the kitchen. I have a gigantic list of books I'm in the middle of.

But I keep finding time slipping away and I've done none of these things. I don't get lost in things like Netflix but I find myself infinite scrolling through twitter or just staring off into space a lot.

I've been about to start this little project

https://www.lesswrong.com/s/qRxTKm7DAftSuTGvj

To make myself analyze what's going wrong with all the little workflow and executive dysfunction things that seem to just be slowing me to a crawl these days. I figure if I can even make a few improvements I can stop feeling like I'm missing out on all the things I want in each day.