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Ephemera and *logging

I had a strange idea when I woke up at 5am this morning. So it's weirdly hard, sometimes, to talk about real feelings and personal experiences on the internet: particularly when they're really hard and ugly feelings.

Now part of that is definitely the ways social media has made everyone feel too close, too personal, too inside your own head. It feels hard to share ugly complicated feelings when you're in this place of feeling scrutinized by so many people at once.

Part of it also, for me, is that it feels like it contaminates the (gem|b)log to look back later and see those feelings ossified, permanent, placed forever in this space of yours.

Hard feelings are inherently transient, ephemeral, linked into a particular brainstate and context in time. I don't think they need to be erased but I think it's okay to let them sit on their own and not placed into the continuity of thoughts like you're building your own personal canon of emotional truth.

I don't know, maybe what I'm saying will sound strange to other people, but it makes sense to me.

So, anyway, the technical point of this post was that I realized that with things like Antenna it makes sense to let yourself write posts that exist on the server and get put in the RSS feed so they're shared but leave them out of the official index.gmi for gemlog. I think I'm going to try doing that. The posts will continue to exist in the long term, not erased, but they'll exist in the temporality of the RSS feed and any aggregators that see it rather than being lodged into the bones of the site for perusing laer.

I'll probably start posting a series of posts I'll call Ephemera when I have things I want to get out that are more personal and less technical. Take that as either an invitation or a warning depending on your inclination.