💾 Archived View for inconsistentuniverse.space › gemlog › 2021-08-01-rebuilding.gmi captured on 2022-04-29 at 11:34:53. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2021-12-03)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
One of those things that's always hard is when something happens that just knocks you down completely. Not just a little but like you lose all your habits, all your progress, all your sense of momentum and stride. Your brain has gotten scrambled and you start to lose your sense of self a bit, like you can't remember what and why you were doing before everything hit the fan.
I know a lot of this is about my own trauma and the ways I'm damaged, but I think a lot of people can relate to feelings like this even when they're not compounded by brain damage like mine.
But this is the real challenge, right? You have to get back up again even when you've broken down and just don't feel like pulling yourself together.
For me, this means I pull out pens and notebooks and start getting everything in my head down on paper and trying to organize all those thoughts, reading back to where before everything went to hell (since I almost never can write consistently while in the middle of it), and doing my best to piece together my sense of self.
I start picking up my habits again bit by bit. I use commitment devices like beeminder
to try and keep myself on the hook for at least a few things to the best of my ability.
What I don't do enough of is reach out to people, but I've been trying to do that more this time.
One thing I will say, though, is that if you're reading this and you want to talk to me you can always contact me at left_adjoint@rawtext.club. I'm trying to be more social in the aftermath of this last brainbreak.
Because in the end all we have is each other, right?