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Keywords: Humor
Network Working Group J. Onions
Request for Comments: 1606 Nexor Ltd.
Category: Informational 1 April 1994
A Historical Perspective On The Usage Of IP Version 9
Status of this Memo
This memo provides information for the Internet community. This memo
does not specify an Internet standard of any kind. Distribution of
this memo is unlimited.
Abstract
This paper reviews the usages of the old IP version protocol. It
considers some of its successes and its failures.
Introduction
The take-up of the network protocol TCP/IPv9 has been phenomenal over
the last few years. Gone are the days when there were just a few
million hosts, and the network was understood. As the IP version 9
protocol comes to the end of its useful life, once again due to
address space exhaustion, we look back at some of the success of the
protocol.
Routing
The up to 42 deep hierarchy of routing levels built into IPv9 must
have been one of the key features for its wide deployment. The
ability to assign a whole network, or group of networks to an
electronic component must be seen as one of the reasons for its
takeup. The use of the Compact Disk Hologram units is typical of the
usage. They typically have a level 37 network number assigned to each
logical part, and a level 36 network number assigned to the whole
device. This allows the CDH management protocol to control the unit
as a whole, and the high-street vendor to do remote diagnostics on
discreet elements of the device. This still allows sub-chip routing
to be done using the 38th level addressing to download new nanocode.
As yet, no requirement has been found for levels 40-42, with level 39
still being used for experimental interrogation of atomic structure
of components where required.
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RFC 1606 Historical Perspective Usage of IP V9 1 April 1994
Allocation
The vast number space of the IPv9 protocol has also allowed
allocation to be done in a straight forward manner. Typically, most
high street commercial internet providers issue a range of 1 billion
addresses to each house. The addresses are then dynamically
partitioned into subnet hierarchies allowing groups of a million
addresses to be allocated for each discreet unit (e.g., room/floor
etc.) The allocation of sub groups then to controllers such as light
switches, mains sockets and similar is then done from each pool.
The allocation process is again done in a hierarchical zoned way,
with each major application requesting a block of addresses from its
controller. In this way the light bulb requests an address block from
the light switch, the light switch in turn from the electrical system
which in turn requests one from the room/floor controller. This has
been found to be successful due to the enormous range of addresses
available, and contention for the address space being without
problems typically.
Whilst there are still many addresses unallocated the available space
has been sharply decreased. The discovery of intelligent life on
other solar systems with the parallel discovery of a faster-than-
light transport stack is the main cause. This enables real time
communication with them, and has made the allocation of world-size
address spaces necessary, at the level 3 routing hierarchy. There is
still only 1 global (spatial) level 2 galaxy wide network required
for this galaxy, although the establishment of permanent space
stations in deep space may start to exhaust this. This allows level 1
to be used for inter-galaxy routing. The most pressing problem now is
the case of parallel universes. Of course there is the danger of
assuming that there is no higher extrapolation than parallel
universes...
Up to now, the hacking into, and setting of holo-recorder devices to
the wrong channel from remote galaxies, has not been confirmed, and
appears to be attributable to finger problem with the remote control
whilst travelling home from the office.
Applications
The introduction of body monitors as IPv9 addresseable units injected
into the blood stream has been rated as inconclusive. Whilst being
able to have devices lodged in the heart, kidneys, brain, etc.,
sending out SNMPv9 trap messages at critical events has been a useful
monitoring tool for doctors, the use of the blood stream as both a
delivery and a communication highway, has been problematic. The
crosstalk between the signals moving through the blood stream and the
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RFC 1606 Historical Perspective Usage of IP V9 1 April 1994
close proximity of nerves has meant that patients suffering multiple
events at once, can go into violent spasm. This, coupled with early
problems with broadcasts storms tending to make patients blood boil,
have led to a rethink on this whole procedure. Also, the requirement
to wear the silly satellite dish hat has led to feelings of
embarrassment except in California, where it is now the latest trend.
The usage of IPv9 addresseable consumer packaging has been a topic of
hot debate. The marketing people see it as a godsend, being able to
get feedback on how products are actually used. Similarly, the
recycling is much improved by use of directed broadcast, "All those
packages composed of cardboard respond please." Consumers are not so
keen on this seeing it as an invasion of privacy. The introduction of
the handy-dandy directed stack zapper (which is also rumoured to be
IPv9 aware) sending directed broadcasts on the local food package net
effectively resetting the network mask to all 1's has made this an
area of choice.
The advent of the IPv9 magazine was universally approved of. Being
able to ask a magazine where its contents page was the most useful of
the features. However combined with the networked newspaper/magazine
rack, the ability to find out where you left the magazine with the
article that was concerned with something about useage of lawn mowers
in outer space is obvious. The ability to download reading habits
automatically into the house controller and therefore alert the
reader of articles of similar ilk is seen as marginal. Alleged
querying of this information to discover "deviant" behaviour in
persons within political office by members of contending parties is
suspected
Sneakernet, as pioneered by shoe specialists skholl is seen to be a
failure. The market was just not ready for shoes that could forward
detailed analysis of foot odour to manufacturers...
Manufacture
Of course, cost is one of the issues that was not considered when
IPv9 was designed. It took a leap of imagination to believe that one
day anything that wished to be could be IPv9 addresseable. It was
assumed that IPv9 protocol machines would drop in price as with
general chip technology. Few people would have forseen the advance in
genetic manipulation that allowed viruses to be instructed to build
nano-technology IPv9 protocol machines by the billion for the price
or a grain of sugar. Or similarly, the nano-robots that could insert
and wire these in place.
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RFC 1606 Historical Perspective Usage of IP V9 1 April 1994
The recent research in quark-quark transistors, shows some promise
and may allow specially built atoms to be used as switches. The
manufacture of these will be so expensive (maybe up to 10cent an IPv9
stack) as to be prohibitive except for the most highly demanding
niches.
Conclusions
Those who do not study history, are doomed to repeat it.
Security Considerations
Security issues are not discussed in this memo.
Author's Address
Julian Onions
Nexor Ltd.
PO Box 132
Nottingham NG7 2UU, ENGLAND
Phone: +44 602 520580
EMail: j.onions@nexor.co.uk
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