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From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Whips and chain
Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:34:36
Message Number 15501
SA> (Explaining her inability to copy the humiliation Fest.
I think I can accomodate you there. I have one, and the wiring. Bring
yourself, your VCR, and a blank tape. We can copy the Fest, the WHAM!
video (for you) and Heavy Metal (for me and you, if you want a copy)
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:37:47
Message Number 15502
Does she like Pina Coladas; getting caught in the rain....etc.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Banana???
Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:42:08
Message Number 15503
SA> So what are YOU into?
Everything. (hehehehe) (I told you all the things I'm into without
really telling you anything.)
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: 15000
Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:45:18
Message Number 15504
SA> H.mmmmm I'll ask around about that one. :)
You could ask my new girlfriend about it at the picnic tomorrow, assumin
(assuming) of course, that we can get a ride. (sniff sniff)
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: TURTLE
Subject: Whips and chain
Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:48:49
Message Number 15505
T> (spewing about bs concerning a tape that he doesn't even have
T> in his possession.)
Tough. I think Saavik (she's the one who taped it) will let me have
a copy.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: TURTLE
Subject: Scarves & You
Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:51:23
Message Number 15506
T> *ding* i say we keeep after this one until she tells us, though.
Definitely.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Why not?
Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:54:15
Message Number 15507
DFY> My message (#15174) was NOT a complete waste of disk space. I
DFY> enjoyed writing it...
I guees you just assmued that everyone else would enjoy reading it.
Wrong.
DFY> and it gave an excuse for message #15036 to be a really important
DFY> message.
Like this is an excuse for your original message (#15174).
Very lame.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Stimulation
Date & Time: 04/19/91 14:57:56
Message Number 15508
DFy> I prefer chocholate sauce.
Too bad you'll never get a cherry to go with that chocolate sauce.
(hehehe)
===========
From: TURTLE
To: NEPHREDANA
Subject: Whips and chain
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:15:50
Message Number 15509
>I did borrow it,I'm the one who broke it!!!!!!!!!
Aaargh! I didn't know that...
>I bet you didn't know that, huh, did ya????
Well, now that you mention it...no.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: NEPHREDANA
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:18:15
Message Number 15510
>When it's time (you know that maturity thing) I'll call you and Kelly!
I'm flattered. Seriously.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: NEPHREDANA
Subject: Stimulation
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:18:56
Message Number 15511
>I prefer honey and ice...
You know, McDonald's has these little honey packets that are just
ideal for that sort of thing. You gotta wonder if the guy who designed
the things wasn't thinking about that, in fact...
===========
From: TURTLE
To: KNIGHT OWL
Subject: twisted...
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:22:42
Message Number 15512
>Yeah, I remember Twisted Sister. They weren't around too long...
>They probably got married to some Village People they came across.
Naah. Dee Snyder (Twisted Sister's lead singer) is about as straight
as they come. He's also really, really intelligent, remarkably
articulate, and in general the living antithesis of the rest of the
group. Last I heard, after he testified in front of the Senate during
that 'ban nasty rock music' flap a few years back, he got a real estate
license or some such obscure thing and started selling houses. Go
figure.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Index
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:28:36
Message Number 15513
>And Please, for Saaviks Benefit, (SP?) Where would Tofu be?
You Got me. I won't go Near the Stuff. I can Tell you where it Won't
Be...In My apartment. Nasty!
===========
From: TURTLE
To: CRYSTAL
Subject: Whips and chain
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:30:34
Message Number 15514
>Turtle are you limiting me again?
Never. I hardly think 'no whips' is a /limitation/...
===========
From: TURTLE
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:31:18
Message Number 15515
>How 'bout child pornography -- even if the child says [s]he agrees?
Nope, bad argument. To tell you the truth, I'm a bit disappointed in you
for raising it...I didn't expect that outa you. A child is not sexually
developed, and a child's sex organs are not capable of sexual activity.
Sex with a child generally results in injury to that child. Also, a
child is BY DEFINITION absolutely **not** capable of giving informed
consent to any sexual practice. Therefore, your argument doesn't work.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Huh?
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:35:40
Message Number 15516
>...the idea of people coming from tens of miles to hear me rant and
>rave sounds like fun.
And you do it very well, might I add.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Ecology
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:40:17
Message Number 15517
That's GREAT! I /love/ that 'depth sounding'...so where can I pick up a
subscription to this magazine, huh?
===========
From: TURTLE
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Whips and chain
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:42:04
Message Number 15518
>Soon, mine little reptile, soon........
'Mine little reptile'?? Hey, don't advertise it or everyone will want
one!
===========
From: TURTLE
To: SAAVIK
Subject: *Ding*
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:50:12
Message Number 15519
T>Was it good for you, too?
S>It was wonderful.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: RUFUS
Subject: Life (sigh)
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:52:54
Message Number 15520
>Hell, I live for the weekends when I can just pop on some music, grab
>some Dew, and metabolize the hours away.
Really? Isn't it more fun to metabolize sugar? Metabolizing an arbitrary
length of time's a little too...uh, abstract for me.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Groupies
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:57:05
Message Number 15521
>(Saavik snickers as she sees Turtle slink under the couch)
Hmph. You're enjoying this, aren't you?
===========
From: TURTLE
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/19/91 15:58:15
Message Number 15522
>I called a BBS the other night and the Sysop...preached to me for
>20 minutes.
Really? Which system? (Answer in E-Mail if you like.) A religious bent
that strong is one of the things I like to make note of in the
BBS list.
>Yeah, now I'm going to burn in Hell because after 20 minutes of this...
>I hung up.
You actually tolerated it for that long? That's remarkable. If someone
came on that heavy-handed to me, I'd tell him something along the lines
of 'If you really believe that you are preaching God's word, may I
suggest you stop going about it like an arrogant sonofabitch or you're
likely to have your own message thwarted by your hamhandedness, and
that being the case you're obviously more interested in stoking your
own ego than in doing God's work' and slap him with the ol'
NO CARRIER
===========
From: TURTLE
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:04:37
Message Number 15523
>I thought the idea: "Anything is okay among two (or more) willing
>people" was just stretching a good point too far.
Not at all. The key phrase is "willing people". Someone who cannot give
- **informed consent*** can reasonably be said to be 'unwilling' even if
it is, say, a child who's been browbeaten into it. And in the other
cases you mentioned (flashers, peeping toms) the person who's BEING
flashed or peeped most likely did not give consent and is therefore
not "willing". Your argument /still/ doesn't hold any water, I'm
afraid.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: ALL
Subject: -Please Read-
Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:08:46
Message Number 15524
This system is currently experiencing all sorts of technical
difficulties stemming from a bad floppydrive and has been crashing an
average of once a day lately, with associated loss of a couple of
messages each time. Please be patient if this happens to you...I've
written a watchdog program that will re-start the system after a crash,
but it's still got problems. Bear with us, and please refrain from
posting in the storyboard until the problem has been corrected...I don't
want to lose any storyboard messages.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:35:23
Message Number 15525
DFy> Trust me.....it works much better if you start the relationship
DFYy> out as a manage a troiu (or whatever)...than if you try to add
DFy> on to the relationship.
Like you know, right?
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Doggie, kitty?
Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:38:36
Message Number 15526
DFy> Talking about dropping cats and BLEACH!)
Pathetic.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: NEPHREDANA
Subject: Scarves & You
Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:45:53
Message Number 15527
N to TS> Really, I just your normal Ohio person.
Since when were people for Ohio normal?
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DEATH FENNEC
Subject: Hey, No Worries
Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:48:49
Message Number 15528
WOW!!!!! CONGRADS!!!!!! BIG TIME!!!!!! I so happy for you.
I think that's very good news, I've been worried about you.
Now, about marriage. (slap slap) you're too young. (slap)
Come back to reality....don't let the relief of her not being pregnant
cloud your perception. (slap slap) You're too young. How
long have you known this girl? Hasn't it only been a short time? (slap)
Don't you dare get married, finish school first and get a SECURE
job. THEN, and only THEN, (if you two are still together) can you START
to think about getting married. Understand? Good!
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Kissing Wookies
Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:55:06
Message Number 15529
TO> That night on the Car hood with the Duct Tape?
Umm...would you care to elaborate on that?
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Steel Top
Date & Time: 04/19/91 16:58:09
Message Number 15530
TO> Nor have an Ego as Big, but we love you anyways...
Grrr....oh, okay. (sign)
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Tofu
Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:01:23
Message Number 15531
DFy> Would you like to become the Assistant False Prophet of the
DFy> Armadillo?
Geez...give him a little power and he starts trying to drag everybody
into his false religion.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Ecology
Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:04:33
Message Number 15532
More wasted disk space....*yawn* .....zzzzzzzzzzzzz...(boring)...
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: RUFUS
Subject: Back seat
Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:09:02
Message Number 15533
R> Harasshole.
Hey! WAtch your mouth.
Boy.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: RUFUS
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:10:20
Message Number 15534
R> Teachin is a lot different from preaching.
I don't care if someone is preaching or teaching....either way, I don't
want to hear.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: RUFUS
Subject: Stimulation
Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:14:33
Message Number 15535
R> ....have a large snake mistake your scrotum for a meal and latch on.
OUCH (wincing uncontrollably as I envision the pain of that experience.)
Oh god, don't post such things. (twitch twitch)
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: the tape
Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:17:56
Message Number 15536
SA> I don't think I'm going to make it to the Picnick...
Well, Turtle said that usually some of the people head over to his
place afterward. I'd better see you tomorrow...I want you to meet
my new girlfriend,
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: BBS: GOD callin
Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:21:34
Message Number 15537
Sometime give my the number to that BBS. I want to call and it and
have some fun with that moron. I know have to deal rather effectively
when those religious types.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: why?
Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:27:43
Message Number 15538
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: ALL
Subject: girlfriend
Date & Time: 04/19/91 17:37:00
Message Number 15539
Finally, after what seemed like forever, I've met someone I really
like. She will be coming with me to the picnick tomorrow. See ya
all there!
===========
From: P.WHIPPED
To: TURTLE
Subject: Religeon
Date & Time: 04/19/91 18:12:21
Message Number 15540
To prevent you from burning in the fiery balls of hell, i thought
that you may wish to know that the church of the sub-genius still
has their special on (eternal salvation or triple your money back)
Then again, if you choose to take your chances with some other
insurance, don't come crying to me if your M&M s start to melt
in your hand.
===========
From: P.WHIPPED
To: NEPHRENDANA
Subject: ?????
Date & Time: 04/19/91 18:21:08
Message Number 15541
What the hell is a normal Ohio person?
Who is to say what is normal?
If i want to build a Polynesian longship in my garage, isn't that my own
business?
How come roaches won't eat twinkie fillings?
What exactly are fish sticks?
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Smart 1 or Amy?
Date & Time: 04/19/91 18:49:51
Message Number 15542
SA>Well, didn't you argue that a gun would take care of my puppie's
SA>patroling?
It's no longer a puppie, it's a full grown dog. And, yes, that's
what I said, but I never implied that *I* would personally remedy your
dog's patrolling.
Ya can't call a dog that has grown to hip or thigh high a "puppie"
anymore; puppies are cute, dogs are a bother.
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/19/91 18:53:20
Message Number 15543
TS>Wrong.
SA>Why?
You asked. Remember that.
First of all there are some sexual practices which are just plain sick.
No, strike that. FIrst and foremost and to the end of all, there
are some sexual practices which are just plain sick. Other than that,
I think your statement was accurate.
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Doggie, kitty?
Date & Time: 04/19/91 18:55:02
Message Number 15544
TS>Thier smell makes me nauseous, too.
SA>You have obviously never smelled a "kitty litter" box then.
Oh, yes I have, I have owned a few cats, remember? But my "kitty
litter" box doesn't wander around the house spreading it's noxious
smell, hopping up on the couch long enough to contaminate it or
all over the living room rug...and my "kitty litter" box doesn't
wander all over the house spreading fleas, and it doesn't jump up on
me when I walk in the door, or drool all over me...or a hundred
other messy and smelly things.
And you can keep a "kitty litter" box's odor to a minimum by changing
it a mere twice a week, (with proper sanitized litter). Dogs stink
24 hours a day, you can never really keep them from smelling bad.
(Flame off...sorry.)
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Doggie, kitty?
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:04:14
Message Number 15545
I consider the source.
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Doggie, kitty?
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:04:37
Message Number 15546
DF>I agree completely. The smell of cats makes ME nausesous, too.
You are allergic to cats. How could you possibly know what they
smell like?
I consider the source.
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: TURTLE
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:07:01
Message Number 15547
Hey, when am I supposed to talk that chick outta joining the military?
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: NEPHREDANA
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:07:54
Message Number 15548
N>Really, I'm just your average normal Ohio person.
Really...I am from PA myself, and I never met an average normal Ohio
person...who are you>
you?
YOu?
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: DEATH FENNEC
Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:09:58
Message Number 15549
DFc> I don't have to worry anymore!
???!
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: DEATH FENNEC
Subject: Hey, No Worries
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:10:59
Message Number 15550
DFc>I don't have to worry anymore!
TS>???!
DF>[she's not preggers!]
Awesome! Hey, that's great, dude! I mean, well, kinda - "Oh, well..."
but hey, I'm glad to see that you are out of a jam!
Think you oughta find some way to patch your family thing, though....
As for marriage, well, if she's serious now, she'll be serious then...
wait for a little while, that's what I'd do. (Course, I'm 25, and
I've been convinced that I wanted to get married twice...but kept it
to myself -- I'm still single.)
Here's my generic reply - "Kinda yong to get married, aintcha?" Hmm...
can you afford a wife? If so, go for it!
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Steel Top
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:17:06
Message Number 15551
SS>The Steel Top....no batteries look like it or last like it.
TH1>Nor have an Ego as BIG,
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Ecology
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:20:36
Message Number 15552
DFy>How deep is your ecology commitment?
Heheh. Come take a ride in my 440 and then we'll discuss it...heheh.
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: RUFUS
Subject: '
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:24:52
Message Number 15553
R>We have it at our piddly old high school as an elective.
R>I don't see the problem offering it on the high school level if there
R>is enough intrest.
As an elective, sure. But as a required course? I don't think so.
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:33:58
Message Number 15554
Shut up.
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Doggie, kitty?
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:34:25
Message Number 15555
Wrong. Period.
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Ecology
Date & Time: 04/19/91 19:40:27
Message Number 15556
SS>More wasted disk space ... *yawn* ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...(boring)...
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: logic
Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:02:30
Message Number 15557
C'mon, now: things exist/don't exist on a variety of levels of reality:
no contradiction there....
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: TURTLE
Subject: zoom modems
Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:08:46
Message Number 15558
Yer right: stay away from 'em if ya can....
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: KNIGHT OWL
Subject: Picnick
Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:09:22
Message Number 15559
Hey, can ya make it to this one? Got some great giveaways! How 'bout
(this is inCREDible!): a REAL, working XT keyboard! Brand new books
on "C", a REAL, WORKING, MULTITASKING OPERATING SYSTEM! (List $495)...
all, just GIVEN away!! Why? Because...ummm,,,we're CRAZY!! And I need
some ROOM! All sorts of weird stuff! How bout a working all-channel
CB receiver (NEW), perfect for a car (no tuning: sorta like a scanner)..
And more.....much too numerous to list: and the regulars should all
be there.....
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: zoom modem
Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:12:56
Message Number 15560
yer right (too)....if it works, keep it. I knew a guy who had a
Yugo for 28000 miles!! Great mileage too......
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: breaking habits
Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:17:38
Message Number 15561
My support, too: I know how tough it can be....been smokin' cigs for
more than 20 years, and knowing all that time I should quit...and
not bein' strong enuf to do it.... I admire anyone who can do it!!
(from a nice Jewish boy, quoting Nazi philosopher: That which does
not kill me makes me strong).....doesn't work for me......
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: hung up on GOD?
Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:24:23
Message Number 15562
Wow....good luck: I'd be careful about hanging up on God's Front Man.
I'd like to take a course, "Humor in Religion", or maybe "God's
Little Quirks"....
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: TURTLE
Subject: Floppy Drive
Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:27:37
Message Number 15563
If ya need another floppy drive, lemme know......
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: P.WHIPPED
Subject: Guarantee
Date & Time: 04/19/91 20:28:48
Message Number 15564
Hey, down heah in SOUTH Sarasota, we got the Italian Church of the
Double Cross - salvation or we break your legs.....
'Course, I go to a SERIOUS church, Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility,
not much fun....
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Asst. Prophet
Date & Time: 04/19/91 21:07:02
Message Number 15565
DrF> Would you like to become an assistant False Prophet...
Th1> Indeed I would, what does it entail?
The ability to spew illogical nonsense at any moment, an utter lack
of knowledge about the religion of the Shining Path (or at least an
ability to fake it!), and at least three-fourths of a brain. You, sir,
are eminently qualified.
The False Prophet,
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Cats Flying
Date & Time: 04/19/91 21:11:17
Message Number 15566
>If you hang Fishing Weights from their Collars you can get Truly
>AMAZING Velocity out of a feline.
Amazingly fun things to do with cats:
1. Teach it to surf.
2. Feed your baby sister to one. (Thanks, Max!)
3. Tie tails together. Bet on tug-o-war.
4. Put it on a leash.
5. Try to teach to roll over, or play dead.
6. Put cat-nip in a pit bull's collar.
I mean, what can be done with cats? They sleep, they eat, and they
take the best seat in the house. Sheesh.
A dog-loving //Dragonfly//
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Car Hoods
Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:30:01
Message Number 15567
SS> ...would you care to elaborate on that?
No but If you like, I could demonstrate.
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Why yourself.
Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:33:16
Message Number 15568
Scott, you have this nasty habit of Knocking on posts you decide are
boring. Please Stop( Said in a normal Voice) Some of us /LIKE/ those
posts. Thanks
Ingrown Hare
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Sick Stuff
Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:36:10
Message Number 15569
TS> (To Saavik) There are some sexual practices that are just plain sick
But I /LIKE/ Hamsters!!!
Thumper One
I might have said that to the wrong person eh?
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: *DING*
Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:40:31
Message Number 15570
TS> *DING*
Thank you, I love To occasionally deflate people. but not to often.
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Dillos
Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:44:50
Message Number 15571
DF> The ability to spew illogical nonsense at any moment,
So Perhaps the Shining Path could be rendered in a rear-to-bottom
area of any Non-Yuppish Lifeforms Cranial Void? SNARF!
Lo! There was Nothing, only the endless Expanse of Tofu-Void. When
the Perfect void was Corrupted by the Expansion of Armored Quadropeds.
Each being of sound body, and commanding an intensly gnarly Id, the
Ethereal spirits of 'Dillo realized a collective Mind.
And So began the Endless quest for total, yet subtle dominion over
all Living Beings in an Obscure, yet nifty Plane of Existence.
...and so, the next time you see an Armadillo in the road, do
not attempt to hit it with your VW Rabbit,( Even if it's mind would once
again become one with the Quasi-Id of 'Dillo) But rather, Stop, and
Allow it to continue on it's way. Then you may count yourself among the
Blessed.
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: ALL
Subject: Commercials
Date & Time: 04/19/91 22:58:31
Message Number 15572
I haven't done this in sooo Long, I thought I'd just try to do it
again to see if I'm still in practice...
NEW! NOW AVAILABLE FROM
STOMP BUNNIES INTERNATIONAL
*****************************************
The Amazing Feline Gender Generator!!!
--------------------------------------
You say "Kitty" is to Moody? Maybe we should have her "Fixed"?
"Tom" getting on your nerves with that Spraying of the Shag Carpet?
Well Kiss that Ol' "Fixed" Idea Goodbye!
YES! NOW YOU TO CAN PRODUCE PERFECTLY GOOD SEXLESS CATS!
"Impossible!"
"Immoral!"
"You're A Sick Pup! $^%@^#"
Well its totally Painless, Clean And Won't Irritate your Sinuses!
Contents of your Kinky Kitty Gender Jumbler:
Kitty Stirrups
Kitty Kuffs
Kat Nip (This is Important) And Tuck
A 12'X15' Operating Tarp
Wet/Dry Shop Vac
Spackling Paste
Nair
The Gender Generator Itself,
A 8"X11" Glossy of Steve Martin-
-In his Famed Dental Gear.
All this and More For the Easy price of $69.95!!!
Who could ask for more??? And Remember...
If your Kitty's Being Bad,
Dont Beat it's Butt,
Tear out a Gonad.
Also Available from Stomp Bunnies Int.
Home Apendectomy Tool----The Kitchen Rectal Cauterizer,
And Our Best Seller, Happy Hamster Nasal Reamer.
"Carve with the Best"
"Malpractice like the rest..."
===========
From: KNIGHT OWL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Cats Flying
Date & Time: 04/20/91 00:06:30
Message Number 15573
DF> [ A list of things to do with / to cats.]
ROFL!!!
There are 2 cats that I like though... Sylvester & Garfield, Especially
the latter one.
I have always liked dogs, I wish I had a Great Dane...
L8R!
Knight Owl
===========
From: KNIGHT OWL
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Commercials
Date & Time: 04/20/91 00:12:24
Message Number 15574
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
I wish that I could have seen some of your other commercials. that was
GREAT!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ... Cough... Cough...
ROFL & GAC
(Got A Concussion)
L8R!
/<night Owl
===========
From: TURTLE
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/20/91 00:53:26
Message Number 15575
>zzzzzzzz....(boring).....
---
>Hey! Watch your mouth.
---
>...either way, I don't want to hear.
Geez! Somebody give this man a cigarette.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: P.WHIPPED
Subject: Religion
Date & Time: 04/20/91 00:55:23
Message Number 15576
>...if you choose to take your chances with some other insurance, don't
>come crying to me if your M&M s start to melt in your hand.
You're weird. Obviously, the Wandering Aardvark of Unrequested Silly
Things has blessed you in /triplicate/, boy. Everyone knows that M&M's
are unconditionally guaranteed not to melt in your hand or your soul is
granted free passage to the hereafter...and in fact last I heard the
M&M/Mars company even had a most generous policy of sending two of their
representatives, Guido and Victor, to help see your soul off on its
journey if you filed a claim against them. What wonderful people...
===========
From: TURTLE
To: P.WHIPPED
Subject: ?????
Date & Time: 04/20/91 00:59:08
Message Number 15577
>If i want to build a Polynesian longship in my garage, isn't that
>my own business?
Only as long as it doesn't stick out into your neighbor's driveway and
make him late for work. I /hate/ that.
>What exactly are fish sticks?
Breaded fungus.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Doggie, kitty?
Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:00:49
Message Number 15578
TS>[Lots of arguments against the theory that kitty litter boxes are
as smelly as dogs]
Bravo! Encore! You ever notice if you touch a dog your hand smells like
dog for /weeks/? At least cats are reasonably clean.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:02:11
Message Number 15579
>Hey, when am I supposed to talk that chick outta joining the military?
Good question. To tell you the truth, *I* haven't seen her myself for a
long time...her parents just flew up from the Virgin Islands for a
visit and as a result she's kind of inacessable. I'm still trying,
though.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Ecology
Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:05:37
Message Number 15580
>Heheh. Come take a ride in my 440 and then we'll discuss it...heheh.
[ROFL] I like it, I like it...heheheh.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: CHARLES DITTELL
Subject: breaking habits
Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:07:43
Message Number 15581
>...that which does not kill me makes me strong...
Except for oxygen depravation, of course.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: CHARLES DITTELL
Subject: hung up on GOD?
Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:08:29
Message Number 15582
>"God's Little Quirks"...
I like it! Say, the duck-billed platypus, and Nietsche (living, or once-
living, proof that God can take a joke), and the virgin birth thing...
===========
From: TURTLE
To: CHARLES DITTELL
Subject: Floppy Drive
Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:12:17
Message Number 15583
>If ya need another floppy drive, lemme know...
I need another floppy drive!!!
===========
From: TURTLE
To: CHARLES DITTELL
Subject: Guarantee
Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:13:24
Message Number 15584
The Italian Church of the Double Cross? That has got to stand as one
of the single funniest things in living memory. I oughta get some
business cards printed up for it...heh heh heh.
Say, have you ever read 'The Book of the Sub-Genius'? Talk about your
obscure religion...everyone follows a middle-aged 50's door-to-door
salesman named J.R. "Bob" Dobbs.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Cats Flying
Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:15:37
Message Number 15585
>I mean, what can be done with cats? They sleep, they eat, and they
>take the best seat in the house.
Precisely. They're not obnoxiously easy to please, and they aren't
easily impressed. Haven't we been through this already? Dogs, on the
other other hand...what can you do with THEM? They slobber, they drool,
and they bring you things you throw away. *yawn*
===========
From: TURTLE
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Dillos
Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:19:28
Message Number 15586
>'Dillo-Id...void...planes of existance...armadillos...VW Rabbits...
>armadillos...The Blessed.
Hey, Dragonfly, I think you've found your Assistant False Prophet! Now
all you need is a schism in the ranks of False Prophetdom, and the
formation of a new False Church, and possibly a dramatic act like the
nailing of the Theses of False Salvation on your computer's screen, and
you'll be /really/ set! All the /other/ religions have schisms...
May the Aardvark of Happiness piddle on you both in a public place.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Commercials
Date & Time: 04/20/91 01:28:03
Message Number 15587
That, my friend, was in rather poor taste.
===========
From: RUFUS
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Back seat
Date & Time: 04/20/91 04:47:56
Message Number 15590
>Hey! WAtch your mouth.
Err, if you insist.
>Boy.
Ouch, oh jeez. Did that ever hurt. :P
===========
From: RUFUS
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/20/91 04:49:11
Message Number 15591
>I don't care if someone is preaching or teaching...either way, I don't
>want to hear.
That's okay. But some people may want to hear, so it should be offered
in lowely ole high school.
===========
From: NEPHREDANA
To: TURTLE
Subject: Whips and chain
Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:32:24
Message Number 15592
Your were there( of course in another room, but still you were there
) don't you remember?
===========
From: NEPHREDANA
To: TURTLE
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:34:17
Message Number 15593
Thank you! You know it's really nice having friends like you and Kelly!
I don't know what I would with out you two! So, I'm the one who
should be flattered!
===========
From: NEPHREDANA
To: TURTLE
Subject: Stimulation
Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:37:30
Message Number 15594
So, where the nearest McDonald's? Just kind of wondering?
===========
From: NEPHREDANA
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Scarves & You
Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:40:39
Message Number 15595
There not? Since when? Why don't people tell me these things??
===========
From: NEPHREDANA
To: P.WHIPPED
Subject: ?????
Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:44:19
Message Number 15596
I'm a normal Ohio Person( well at least I think so).
>Who is to say what is normal?
to each his own.
>isn't that my own business?
uh, yeah I guess.
>How come roaches won't eat twinkie fillings?
I would take that as a sign. If something that could survive through a
nuclear war wouldn't eat it, I sure wouldn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>fishsticks??
Heck, if I know!
===========
From: NEPHREDANA
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/20/91 05:53:14
Message Number 15597
Your average everyday normal theatre major!
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Steel Top
Date & Time: 04/20/91 09:18:07
Message Number 15598
Grrrrrrrr......
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Doggie, kitty?
Date & Time: 04/20/91 09:20:34
Message Number 15599
Boy, you hate it don't you when I nail your ass to the wall with your
own logic. Bon't ya.
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: TURTLE
Subject: breaking habits
Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:10:08
Message Number 15600
True, and probably a few thousand other things, at least on the
level of metabolic reality....
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: TURTLE
Subject: hung up on GOD?
Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:10:52
Message Number 15601
>>"God's Little Quirks"...
Or God's shouting down to a few huddled groups, "OK, you guys (heh heh
heh), now I want you to shave yer heads (well leave just a little
pony tail), dress in robes, and hang out at airports...(heh heh)..."
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: TURTLE
Subject: Floppy Drive
Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:12:31
Message Number 15602
call, and remind me re that other thing ya needed (see? I already
fergot -- oh, yeah, the monitor!!)
955-4001
---and thanks for leading the SUCS (Sarasota Underground Crazy
Society) to the Picnick!!! Great show!!
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: TURTLE
Subject: Guarantee
Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:14:04
Message Number 15603
Re Church of the Sub Genius...yeah, I read about it somewhere, and
skimmed through one of Dobbs' books at a flea market: REALLY weird...
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Asst. Prophet
Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:32:00
Message Number 15604
DFy> The ability to spew illogical nonsense at any moment, an utter lack
DFy> of knowledge about the religion...You, sir, are eminently qualified
Look whose talking!!
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Car Hoods
Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:34:32
Message Number 15605
Never mind.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: TURTLE
Subject: Dog problems
Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:42:27
Message Number 15606
Well, personally, I don't like the fact that dogs sniff the genital
area of every guest that comes into your house. Another annoying
thing that they did is the way they lick their genital area in full
view of everybody.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: RUFUS
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:45:20
Message Number 15607
R> ...it should be offered in lowely ole high school.
Isn't that "lowly?" (hehehe)
===========
From: DIRTY WRAT
To: TURTLE
Subject: Cat smell
Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:53:37
Message Number 15608
Cat urine is the most vile thing to come out of a living organism
(with the possible exception of an elephant in need of Kaopectate(SP?))
Reasonably clean my arse.
I like cats, though. You have to >>persuade<< them to get out of your
way. A skill useful in many other aspects of life.
--+>>W<ratt<+--
===========
From: DIRTY WRAT
To: TURTLE
Subject: Dogs
Date & Time: 04/20/91 12:58:38
Message Number 15609
What you need, Turtle, is a dog with a personality.
First, find a stray dog that someone has tried to kill at least once.
Instant psychotic. Then, Take said dog and convince him that his nose
beeps every time it gets touched. This is accomplished by following it
around and making a beeping noise every time its nose touches something.
Trainging time is critical. You MUST beep every time in the first few
hours, this is critical. Then, after he recovers from this, you have a
dog with a sense of humility, a bit of curiosity (how, for instance, did
his nose stop beeping???) and finally, a little bit of an attitude, dogs
can hold grudges.
It's all in the owner.
--+>>W<ratt<+--
===========
From: DEATH FENNEC
To: KNIGHT OWL
Subject: whew!
Date & Time: 04/20/91 13:49:04
Message Number 15611
Yes, I am quite happy that this is not going to be taking place. Hmm.
Well, she /STILL/ wants to get married to me, and I, the same. Although
I still feel that this is not going to work out right now. Hmm. Well,
Anyways... I shall go, and thanks for the WHEW! :)
/| Death Fennec -- ;>
===========
From: DEATH FENNEC
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Hey, No Worries
Date & Time: 04/20/91 13:51:58
Message Number 15612
Well, Hmm. I dunno. I think that if/when I did get marrried to
her, it would be out of love. I mean, if you love someone enouh, then
why do you have to have something else to go with it? Hmm. blah ...
/| Death Fennec -- ;>
===========
From: DEATH FENNEC
To: RUFUS
Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM
Date & Time: 04/20/91 13:53:36
Message Number 15613
Blah...that is not good. Hmm. That is also a bad sign. Could it
be that the female has something wrong with her? BLAH !!! :)
/| Death Fennec -- ;>
===========
From: DEATH FENNEC
To: SAAVIK
Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM
Date & Time: 04/20/91 13:55:16
Message Number 15614
Hmm. Well, I guess that would be EXTREMELY good. Although,
what she does when I am not around is what she does. I cannot tell if
she has/hasn't taken any form of birth control or not. Although I doubt
she would lie to me about it. But, what if, in a year, or two, (or t
-- or three!), we are ready for a child? Then what? And I have also
heard that woman on the 'Pills' can have messed up children if they take
it for too long. Hmm. Well, Anyways, I shall go...And thanks for the
help that you have given... ::smooch::
/| Death Fennec -- ;>
===========
From: DEATH FENNEC
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Hey, No Worries
Date & Time: 04/20/91 13:59:17
Message Number 15615
Well, Hmm. I would like to take it slow, although it seems that
it isn't going slow. I mean, look at all of the days that have already
passed...I mean, god. My life seems to be going too fast,and if am
going to be in this world, then I must go at the speed of time.... I am
also thinking of something else.
That is, I have been thinking to myself, and it seems that I
have no recollection as to why I am on this earth. (STUMPER FOR ME),
and why there is life, and why there is time, Why Ask Why?, Try Bud Dry!
Blah (bad thought!) Anyways, I am stumped about this now ...
/| Death Fennec -- ;>
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Stimulation
Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:29:53
Message Number 15617
Sorry about thjehe last letter... things just got really messed up with
my resident terminal program. (Heck, it normally works!)
Anyway, if you didn't like my rant and rave about why message
#15036 was so special, ignore the Book of the Aardvark if and when
it comes out.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: TURTLE
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:32:44
Message Number 15618
DrF>How 'bout child pornography...
T> Nope, bad argument... A child is not sexually developed, and a
T> child's sex organs are not capable of sexual activity.
Do you think pornography MUST involve sexactual sexual activity? Most
Playboys don't show the actual act of sex.
T> Also, a child is BY DEFINITION absolutely **not** capable of giving
T> informed consent to any sexual practice. Therefore, your arcgument
T> doesn't work.
Huh? I thought we were arguing whether "Anything's okay -- provided
nobody gets hurt and everyone agrees." Granted. Children can't give
informed consent to sexual practices. But a child might agree.
All I'm saying is that the above statement seems too broad for my
ethical tastes, and I chose three fairly easy examples of why I
disagree. A child CAN say he/she agrees to be photographed nude (or
whatever... that doesn't physically hurt the child.) What do you
think of my other two points?
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: TURTLE
Subject: Huh?
Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:40:50
Message Number 15619
DrF> .,..the idea of people coming from tens of miles to hear me rant
DrF> and rave sounds like fun.
T> And you do it very well, might I add.
Thank you.
//Dragonfly//
...now, wait a second!
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: TURTLE
Subject: Ecology
Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:42:41
Message Number 15620
>...so where can I pick up a subscription to this magazine, huh?
The cost is somewhere around $5. (If you've got more that you
want to send them, great. Or if you can't send them that much, that's
OK by them, too.) Send cash or other valuables to:
The Wiregrass
Florida Earth First!
P. O. Box 13864
Gainesville, FL 32604
Also available, information packets on starting an Earth First!
chapter in our area ($5, and there are no local Sarasota chapters.)
The Florida Earth First! T-shirt "Let's put Florida Back Together
Again" for $10. And assorted Earth First! Bumper Stickers are avail.
for $1 each.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Tofu
Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:52:13
Message Number 15621
DFY> Would you like to become the Assistant False Prophet of the
DFy> Armadillo?
SS> Geez...give him a little power and he starts trying to drag
SS> everybody into his false religion.
Not everybody. And he was a willing convert.
//Dragonfly//
May the Armadillo of Happiness beat her eyes at you.
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: P.WHIPPED
Subject: Religeon
Date & Time: 04/20/91 14:55:36
Message Number 15622
>i thought that you may wish to know that the church of the sub-
>genius still has their special on (eternal salvation or triple your
>money back)
The Rev. Ivan Stang came to my college and proclaimed me a SubGenius.
I have been deaconized in the Church of the SubGenius. Both of these
were against my will.
The eternally Pink //Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: CHARLES DITTELL
Subject: Guarantee
Date & Time: 04/20/91 15:02:19
Message Number 15623
You might enjoy going to a less serious church: Our Lady of the
Divine Orgasm? (If ya don;''t mind me quoting from Heinlein.)
//Dragonfly//
Stop on by more often, y'hear?
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Dillos
Date & Time: 04/20/91 15:05:30
Message Number 15624
That brought tears to my eyes. The Student outdoes the Master. You
might enjoy reading D/L file #4, the First Spew of the False Prophet.
`
And two of the Armadillos, curiously named Adam and Steve, looked
up from the Quest and said, "Lo! What light in yonder window breaks!
And why is yonder window breaking? It is the East, and Julio is on
the run!" And all three ate of the Tree of Knowledge of Good, Evil,
and the Way of the Aardvark, and there was much rejoicing among the
zeps, who became extinct three minutes later.
TBC, //Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: TURTLE
Subject: Dillos
Date & Time: 04/20/91 15:13:51
Message Number 15625
Hmmmm... if Thummper One and I had a schism, would that make me the
First False Church of the Armadillo, and his the Reformed False Church
of the Armadillo? And when we had more schisms, we'd have the Second
False Chuch, the True False Church, the False False Church, the Faux
Church (when we do missionary work in France.)
By the way, when I'm Spreading the Word of the Armadillo (or the
Aardvark), can I say I'm in a missionary position?
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Asst. Prophet
Date & Time: 04/20/91 15:18:23
Message Number 15626
DFy> (quals for False Prophets)
SS> Look whose talking!!
*DING* I even had to ask Turtle what the real name of the religion
was. Luckily for me, he had to think before HE remembered.
//Dragonfly//
BTW, the reason it's a FALSE church is because me thinks Turtle &
co. worship aardvarks. I'm not certain.
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Dog problems
Date & Time: 04/20/91 15:20:34
Message Number 15627
>Another annoying thing that they did is the way they lick their
>genital area in full view of everybody.
Hate to say this, Scott -- but cats do the same thing.
//Dragonfly//
Or are you just jealous?
===========
From: DEATH FENNEC
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM
Date & Time: 04/20/91 16:28:51
Message Number 15628
Lisa is not Pregnant! She isn't going to have a kid! :)
/| Death Fennec -- ;>
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DEATH FENNEC
Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM
Date & Time: 04/20/91 17:10:17
Message Number 15634
DF> ...And I have also heard that women on the 'Pills' can have messed
DF> children if they take it for too long.
I believe that is no longer true. It /used/ to be recommended that
women should only take the pill for two years before they could have
a problem. But now the Pill can be taken for extended periods of time
without hazard.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Tofu
Date & Time: 04/20/91 17:15:51
Message Number 15635
DFy> May the Armadillo of Happiness beat her eyes at you.
Armadillo? ARMADILLO!?! Don't you mean Aardvark?
I thought so. You're not even worthy of being a false prophet.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Dog problems
Date & Time: 04/20/91 17:19:24
Message Number 15636
DFy> Hate to say this, Scott -- but cats do the same thing.
True enough, but dogs almost seem to do it just to get everyone's
attention.
DFy> Or are you just jealous?
Well, to quote George Carlin, "If I could like my balls, I'd never
leave the house."
(Please excuse that, Turtle, but sometimes the only way to deal with
some people is to be rude.) (Some people just don't stay on the
subject.)
===========
From: CHARLES DITTELL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Churches
Date & Time: 04/20/91 18:47:12
Message Number 15637
"Church of the Devine Orgasm", eh? Nah, to "real" -- Tantric Buddhism
actually has that practice (it works, I know!).....but when it doesn't
work, it's painful......
===========
From: RUFUS
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/20/91 19:32:47
Message Number 15638
>Isn't that "lowly?" (hehehe)
I was busy in World Religions, so I missed my spelling class.
Of course, now I'll be watchin' you with my Webster.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: KNIGHT OWL
Subject: twisted...
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:21:26
Message Number 15641
Hehehe. Naked truth..... Boy
grrrrr. I hate hitting the return by mistake...
Naked Truth.....Boy's Club tune....
"Do you want to know the naked truth, baby. Do ya wanna, Do ya wanna "
They are kind of like the New Kids with reputations...all bad.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Branding Iron
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:24:25
Message Number 15642
TO>Actually It Says.(the brand) "Bar Y" .......It works pretty well
to, ask Saavik...
.....,But painful....however, If you draw a straw and an olive in the
Y, you can always tell people its a tatoo........
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Feather dusters
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:27:38
Message Number 15643
Hmmmmm. And I thought you were looking to buy cats for the new Hutch...
....... I
I'll keep my eyes open for some vivacious bunnies wearing angora
sweaters.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: M&M's
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:32:16
Message Number 15644
The Mother ship confiscated my whole surplus of M & M
s .......(opps)... BUT if you find thoses shorts, lemme know.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: WHAT?!?!
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:33:51
Message Number 15645
TO> You were there.......
No, but the fly on the wall told me.......
TO> He is a fr**ging heater....
So now he's an appliance, eh? /Quit!!! You're gonna make the belt
sander jealous........
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: really?
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:40:08
Message Number 15646
Thumper, you really ought to try the new and improved "Rabbit
Hormone Neutralizer". They've improved it so that it doesnt
have those irritating side effects. Is that super glue still
holding from the last time???
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: obediance
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:42:28
Message Number 15647
TO>Is there any differences in the Training methods? (Dog vs wife
training) Bolting for the warren
You'd better run after a statement like that!!!! Of course, there is
a difference..... I get more milk bones!!!!!
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Say what?
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:44:27
Message Number 15648
Well, chain link is no fun, but barbed wire /really/ leaves a lasting
impression......
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:47:45
Message Number 15649
DrF> *ding* *ding* *ding* *ding*
Ahhhhhhh, multiple dings....... gimme a cigarette.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:49:01
Message Number 15650
DrF>Making religion an elective course is an excellent idea.
And unfortunately, would probably be the loniliest class in the
whole school.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:52:08
Message Number 15651
I don
t know the real name of the "chat mode evangelist", but this board
wasn't a religious based board......
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: twisted...
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:56:03
Message Number 15652
Dee Snider is correct..... wasn't he just the prettiest guy? (Saavik
turns her head and gags)
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Scarves & You
Date & Time: 04/20/91 20:58:44
Message Number 15653
SS>Is there something you're not telling us?
Nope..............
===========
From: TURTLE
To: NEPHREDANA
Subject: Whips and chain
Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:10:18
Message Number 15655
Of course I don't remember something if I wasn't in the same room! Grr.
No, I didn't know you broke the whip...I /hate/ when that happens. :)
===========
From: TURTLE
To: NEPHREDANA
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:11:48
Message Number 15656
>So, I'm the one who should be flattered!
I guess it's just one of those mutual things...I am still flattered,
though. So there.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: NEPHREDANA
Subject: Stimulation
Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:13:05
Message Number 15657
>So, where's the nearest McDonald's?
Umm...well, there's one by New College, but they're a franchise store
and they charge you money for those honey packets. I'd recommend going
to the one on Fruitville...
===========
From: TURTLE
To: CHARLES DITTELL
Subject: Floppy Drive
Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:15:06
Message Number 15658
>---and thanks for leading the SUCS to the Picnick!!!
It was an honor and a privelege, Sir.
...next time I gotta clean out my attic too. I got a bunch of junk that
might do someone somewhere some good...
===========
From: TURTLE
To: DIRTY WRAT
Subject: Cat smell
Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:16:43
Message Number 15659
>Cat urine is the most vile thing to come out of a living organism...
You need to talk to Rufus about his relative's Dacshund. Heh, heh.
===========
From: TURTLE
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:18:57
Message Number 15660
>...pornography...Playboy...
Um, last time I looked 'Playboy' wasn't pornography, at least legally.
>A child cannot give informed consent...can agree...
If the consent is not infomed and voluntary, it's not consent. Figure
it out. I have no problem with anything two or more consenting
individuals want to do, that does not involve harm to anyone involved.
If the consent is not informed, however, it should be immediately
obvious to even the simplest of logicians that it is not consent.
===========
From: KNIGHT OWL
To: TURTLE
Subject: Commercials
Date & Time: 04/20/91 23:54:58
Message Number 15662
T> That, my friend, was in rather poor taste.
Can you thinlk of any ads that aren't?
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: RUFUS
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:16:39
Message Number 15663
R> Of course, now I'll be watchin' you with my Webster.
Oh, I'm just a tremble.
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Tofu
Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:41:45
Message Number 15665
Milord Scott Steel --
The Pantheon of the Ghods, Ghodesses, Ghodlings, and Ghodnauts
contains not only the Aardvark, but also many creatures from Armadillos
to Zybbuks. (Unfortunately, no human has yet reached the Cosmic Stage
of Truth, Wisdom, and Incredulity to become more than a demiGhodnaut's
Personal Washroom Attendent.) There most certainly is an Armadillo of
Happines, just as certainly as there is a Gryphon of Pride.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Dog problems
Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:45:31
Message Number 15666
>Some people just don't stay on the subject.
Now, why do you think that happens?
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SAAVIK
Subject: really?
Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:47:31
Message Number 15667
S> Thumper, you really ought to try the new and improved "Rabbit
S> Hormone Neutralizer"....it doesnt have those irritating side
S> effects.
Yeah, but there's a new side effect no one anticipated. Simply put,
once you're on those pills, ya can't stop -- or the so-called "Rebound
Effect" happens. (Tens of days of hormones, all hitting at once.
Horrible thing to do to a rabbit.)
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:50:11
Message Number 15668
S> Ahhhhhhhh, multiple dings....... gimme a cigarette.
<Twinkle in eye.> But you haven't rung my bell, yet.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:51:21
Message Number 15669
Didn't Rufus say that it DOES exist, and it usually has about fifteen
students? Pardon me while I wax my ears.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:52:17
Message Number 15670
Well, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! I'm very curious as to
which board it was -- and if I could get into chat with the Sysop.
Maybe I could get another convert for the False Church?
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Tofu
Date & Time: 04/21/91 00:58:17
Message Number 15671
DFy> ...an Armadillo of Happines,
That's "Happiness"
DFy> Incredibly stupid shit....
Y'know for one person to be able to spew as much bullsh*t as you do
it's really astonishing.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Dog problems
Date & Time: 04/21/91 01:01:15
Message Number 15672
DFy> Now, why do you think that happens?
Because you're too stupid to see the obvious series of topics there are
normally on this board.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/21/91 01:06:20
Message Number 15673
SA> Ahhhhh, multiple dings...gimme a cigarette.
DFy> <Twinkle in eye.> But you haven't rung my bell, yet.
You have a gift for subtlety. (dripping, naw, overflowing with
sarcasm)
===========
From: P.WHIPPED
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: gen. sniffing
Date & Time: 04/21/91 01:13:31
Message Number 15674
dogs aren't the only creatures that tend to sniff genitals.
At my high school, there was a disproportionate number of
jocks to non-jocks. through observation(when not sleeping)
they tend to scratch their gonads just as, if not more, often
as their K-9 buddies. not only that, but the (human?) species
sniff their hands when done. it may of course be part of a sacred
ritual which i have never been asked to participate in...but even
if asked..i think i'll decline.
===========
From: P.WHIPPED
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: #15036
Date & Time: 04/21/91 01:27:20
Message Number 15675
Being the one to leave this message on the board there are a couple
of comments i think are appropriate.
1>There is NOTHING sacred about the message
2>The message was an exercise in SARCASM
3>See #'s 1&2
===========
From: P.WHIPPED
To: CHARLES DITTELL
Subject: picnic
Date & Time: 04/21/91 01:30:41
Message Number 15676
Thanks a million for all the neato-keen stuff you handed out today
I didn't manage to thank you at the picnic, so i'll take up some
memory in the board files to do so. One question...what is that tube
for????
===========
From: DIRTY WRAT
To: TURTLE
Subject: DACSHUNDS!!!
Date & Time: 04/21/91 05:04:10
Message Number 15677
Don't EVEN get my started on my Dacshund! What a putz. He bit my
friend, TRIED to bite another, assassinated a litter or two of kittens,
has homosexual fantasies about my Dalmatian (poor Stormy!) and tries
to have sex with our female Dal... What does he think he is???
Then there's my grandmother... "He's such a NICE dog..."
Satan himself could slither past (assuming the belief of a satan figure
for the sake of fiction) and she'd say he was a nice dog.
Sometimes I wonder about my family, but then I know.
It ain't pretty.
Did I mention I hate my Dacshund?
Dirty "what a dog!" Wrat
===========
From: DIRTY WRAT
To: ALL
Subject: Just a thought.
Date & Time: 04/21/91 05:11:41
Message Number 15678
Has anyone out there ever tried to imagine the concept of existence
as being detached from conception.
- In other words: The universe exists. Everything in the universe
exists. How did all inside this universe come to exist?
The big bang.
How did what was inside the big bang get into that little singularity?
If you said "God"
Where did God come from
If you said "He is infinite"
Imagine that. Think about it. If (S)(H)(s)he just
'is', then said deity exists, but was not concieved.
If you said "it formed from matter outside this universe"
What exists there? Under what rules? Is it just there, or did
IT begin somewhere too? If it did, where did THAT come from?
Essentially, the two trains of thought are pretty similar.
A) we don't know
B) most people don't CARE
BUT hell, it's late, I'm tired and I figger I can make Rufus' brain
explode if I do this long enough.
Good day.
Dirty "Big Bang" Wrat
(best part is, I won't be around to see if anyone picks up on this.)
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Tofu
Date & Time: 04/21/91 09:43:36
Message Number 15679
>Y'know for one person to be able to spew as much bullsh*t as you do
>it's really astonishing.
I assure you, sir, that I have never once spewed bullsh*t. Every
single word of every single spew has been pure, one hundred percent,
unadulterated bullshit. (Sheesh. I can't even pronounce bullsh*t.)
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Dog problems
Date & Time: 04/21/91 09:46:40
Message Number 15680
DFy> Now, why do you think that happens?
SS> Because you're too stupid to see the obvious serious of topics there
SS> are normally on this board.
Wow! What a carefully, finely tuned response to my question! And,
MY GOD! The complete and utter sarcasm went >>>WHOOSH>>>ing above his
head.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/21/91 09:49:17
Message Number 15681
You haven't rung my bell, either, Scott.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: P.WHIPPED
Subject: #15036
Date & Time: 04/21/91 09:50:04
Message Number 15682
PW> Being the one to leave this message on the board there are a couple
PW> of comments i think are appropriate.
PW> 1>There is NOTHING sacred about the message
Really? <Look of shock of Dragonfly's face> But... but, that means
that message getting message #15036 wasn't something that should have
thrown you into ecstasy -- nay, into orgasms?
PW> 2>The message was an exercise in SARCASM
But... but... that means the great Aardvark Herself didn't whisper
in my ear why that message had such a powerful number? My life is
devastated.
PW> 3>See #s 1&2
My world is shattered. Not only do you tell me these things ONCE,
but you feel obligated to repeat them. I shall hang my head in despair.
I shall pluck my eyeballs from my sockets, stick them between my toes,
and forever see that way. I shall... oh, OK Turtle. I won't overdo it.
Seriously, I was hoping you'd understand that my message was only
a long attempt to be very sarcastic. This conversation has died a long
and horrible death, and I, for one, will bury it.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: TURTLE
Subject: Schism
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:04:59
Message Number 15683
T>May the Aardvark of Happiness piddle onyou both in a public place.
Thanks you...
I'm kinda leaning toward the Order Of Bounding Hare, But I'll be happy
if I'm able to phase the Rabbits into the local Mythos.
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: TURTLE
Subject: Poor Taste
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:08:22
Message Number 15684
T> That, My friend, was in rather Poor Taste.
Indeed it was, That perhaps explains why I do it so Seldom, But The
Urge hits on occasion. Everyone has their Nasty little quirks.
Apologies to the Offended.
Ears drooping in shame,
Thumper One
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Schism
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:17:34
Message Number 15685
DF>Reformed False Church of the Armadillo...
*thump* I like it...
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Dogs and Cats
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:19:51
Message Number 15686
I care for Dogs and Cats Equally, but I will have a cat when we move to
the new house next week, Dogs need more attention than I can muster at
the moment. So...
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Angora
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:22:15
Message Number 15687
S>vivacious bunnies in angora...
YEAH YEAH YEAH!!! Sorry folks, It's Spring time for Thumpy.
Hey Saavik, could you please make sure that this batch of females
actually has a brain. The last batch didn't, and the mother ship got pre
oops, pretty angry about it. Something about, nothing to steal, I dunno.
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SAAVIK
Subject: M&M's
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:25:29
Message Number 15688
Perhaps these lowly earth Critters dont recognize the VAlue of the M&M?
They make Excellent Noshies, good Engine Fuel, and as an Aphrodisiac
they are unmatched on Planet Zort. Hmm maybe they dont have that effect
on earthling Metabolisms? I saw somewhere that Earthmen have the ability
to metabolise Time... Hmmmmm
Flanigen Leptorks.
Got an Extra Pu-P36 Space modulator?
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Super Glue.
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:28:58
Message Number 15689
S>Is that Super Glue Still holding....
You bet it is, I can't get you Skivvies off the Ceiling Fan Either.
Good Conversation piece though.
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Hiding
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:30:38
Message Number 15690
S>I get more mlk bones!!!!
[Thumper Peaks his head out of the warren to see if Saavik is still
there...]
Milk bones eh? With Glands like those I think you'd get milk bones
the size of Seattle. Of course after ALL THOSE YEARS, they might not be
working, you know, Warrenty (SP?) has expired.
[Thumper See the small Artillery Cannon Behind Saaviks back, and
decides to make a hasty retreat...]
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: KNIGHT OWL
Subject: Gawd!
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:38:43
Message Number 15691
T> That, my friend, was in poor taste.
NO> can you think of any ads that aren't?
I'm sorry already! It'll never happen again, till I have the urge, or
The Armadillo Tells me to, or Till I need to annoy some one
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Tofu
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:40:56
Message Number 15692
DF> just as certainly as there is a Gryphon of Pride.
And a Bunny of Bashing, (Vulcan that is)
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Ring me big boy
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:44:51
Message Number 15693
- DING* but that may be out of order, Can I Ding People? Is there some
High order of the Ding? SOme on Explain this please?
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: man on mighty
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:47:25
Message Number 15694
Scott! Go Smoke a Cig, dude. you're getting REALLY nasty.
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: What?!?!
Date & Time: 04/21/91 11:48:17
Message Number 15695
Is there a reason that you are being so Pissy? Some one piddle in your
corn flakes this morning? What? Perhaps you just need a hug from the
Lemming Of Love, or maybe you just need to be Slapped around for a bit.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: P.WHIPPED
Subject: gen. sniffing
Date & Time: 04/21/91 12:58:35
Message Number 15696
PW> (Rambling about jocks and their strange habits...)
Did you know that we were discussing cats and dogs?
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Tofu
Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:04:27
Message Number 15697
DFy> I assure you, sir, that I hav never once spewed bullsh*t. Every
DFy> single word of every single spew has been pure, one hundred percent
DFy> unadultated bullshit. (Sheesh. I can't even pronounce bullsh*t)
There you go again, spewing for the totally enjoyment of no one.
That was another total waste of disk space, you know damn well I was
simply censoring my post. Y'know you breathe entirely too much good
oxygen.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Dog problems
Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:09:51
Message Number 15698
DFy>>SS>> ...obvious serious of topics
If you're going to quote me at least you could did it accurately.
DFy> ....the sarcasm went >>WHOOSH>>ing over my head...
As usual, you're off again....not sarcasm was meant.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:13:56
Message Number 15699
DFy> You haven't rung my bell, either, Scott.
Never will.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: #15036
Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:17:20
Message Number 15700
DFy> This conversation has died a long ad horribel death, and I, for
DFy> one, will bury it.
(Sigh of relief) good....I was really getting tired of this thread of
messages.
===========
From: RUFUS
To: TURTLE
Subject: Cat smell
Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:23:39
Message Number 15701
>You need to talk to Rufus about his relative's Dacshund.
Yes, those friendly animals bred for hunting are the most skiddish
animals on the face of the earth.
...but at least you can aim it. And if it does pee on you, at most,
it'll get your ankle (and those are the really bid dachshunds.
===========
From: RUFUS
To: KNIGHT OWL
Subject: Commercials
Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:26:57
Message Number 15702
>Can you thinlk of any ads that aren't [in poor taste]?
I like the new VW ads. I also like most of the Isuzu ads.
===========
From: RUFUS
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:28:17
Message Number 15703
>Oh, I'm just a tremble.
Well, after 2.5 cases of Mountain Dew, I think we're all a tremble.
===========
From: RUFUS
To: DIRTY WRAT
Subject: Just a thought.
Date & Time: 04/21/91 13:32:21
Message Number 15704
Actually, Rufus' brain won't explode. I just ignore those kinda
messages, because I fall under the "B) most people don't CARE" catagory.
"Stress free, that's me."
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: RUFUS
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:01:00
Message Number 15705
R> Well, after 2.5 cases of Dew, I think we're all a tremble.
hehehehe....well the Dew is all gone now...all 3.5 cases of it...
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: RUFUS
Subject: Just a thought.
Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:02:24
Message Number 15706
R> "Stress free, that's me"
I could've sworn you were stressing last night...
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Sick Stuff
Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:16:05
Message Number 15707
TH1>But I /LIKE/ Hamsters!!!
Heheh.
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: NEPHREDANA
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:55:50
Message Number 15708
N>Your average everyday normal theatre major!
Studing theatre? Good! I'd give it a thumbs up.
UP!
uP.
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Doggie, kitty?
Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:57:04
Message Number 15709
SS>Boy, you hate it don't you when I nail you ass to the wall with your
SS>own logic. Don't ya.
Yep. What brought that on?
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: DIRTY WRAT
Subject: Cat smell
Date & Time: 04/21/91 14:59:52
Message Number 15710
DW>Reasonably clean my arse.
Perhaps he should have said, "compariatively immaculate"; when comparing
a cat with a dog, the cat will invariably come out smelling like a rose.
And yes, perhaps you should resonably clean your arse.
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: DIRTY WRAT
Subject: Just a thought.
Date & Time: 04/21/91 15:12:49
Message Number 15711
You have been talking to DFy, havent you?
===========
From: THE SPECIALIST
To: RUFUS
Subject: Commercials
Date & Time: 04/21/91 15:17:48
Message Number 15712
R>I like the new VW ads.
Oh, yeah...Fuckin'Junken.
===========
From: P.WHIPPED
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: animals
Date & Time: 04/21/91 15:45:15
Message Number 15713
From my experiences with jocks, they don't behave much different
from cats and dogs...except maybe they are less well behaved.
===========
From: P.WHIPPED
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: aaackpthh
Date & Time: 04/21/91 15:48:02
Message Number 15714
i do understand that it was just a very long and drawn out
attempt at sarcasm, but it was simply turning out a little too
long. (i didn't want another hampster episode). As for chastisement,
for being a false prophet, you are doomed to spend an enternity
in a run down mall speedwalking to try to keep legions of old people
from running you over with their shopping carts
===========
From: RUFUS
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Just a thought.
Date & Time: 04/21/91 16:02:03
Message Number 15715
R>"Stress free, that's me"
SS> I could've sworn you were stressing last night...
That was the old, stressed out Rufus. My new outlook on life is that
the only really stressful thing is death, and I'll be dead then, so I
won't care.
...of course, how long this lasts is a good question.
===========
From: RUFUS
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Commercials
Date & Time: 04/21/91 16:04:05
Message Number 15716
>Oh, yeah...Fuckin'Junken.
Say the word. :)
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: 15000
Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:38:24
Message Number 15720
Oh, Great, Scott..... You get a girlfriend who ALSO has no wheels?!?
So you gonna tell me about this "new Girl" or what????
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Stimulation
Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:41:25
Message Number 15721
SS to Dfy> Too bad you'll never get a cherry to go with that chocolate
sauce.
I knew a girl named Cherry once.... (named after a fruit...go figure)
She used to wonder why no one ever took her serious... duh!
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: TURTLE
Subject: twisted...
Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:43:45
Message Number 15722
I hope Dee Synder washed off the make up and did something with that
hair BEFORE he got his real estate licence.....
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: TURTLE
Subject: Index
Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:44:43
Message Number 15723
Gee that reply about ToFu sounded familiar..........
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: TURTLE
Subject: Whips and chain
Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:46:27
Message Number 15724
T>"Mine little reptile'?? Hey, don't advertise it or everyone will want
one!
Gee, do you think there's enough to go around????
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: TURTLE
Subject: *Ding*
Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:47:39
Message Number 15725
T>*Ding*
Ahhhhh. Well, I'm about dinged out now.... (long sigh) It just keeps
getting better and better and .....
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: TURTLE
Subject: Groupies
Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:49:01
Message Number 15726
SA>(Saavik snickers as she sees Turtle slink under the couch)
T> Hmph. You're enjoying this, aren't you?
Immensely.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: TURTLE
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/21/91 19:50:40
Message Number 15727
All that you say I should have told the BBS Evangelist, I agree I should
have... but at the time, I was trying to be patient and change the
subject.... I was trying to be polite and let him finish, I was trying
to be tolerant and figured that he just needed to get it off his chest..
... it also occured to me that he might be pulling my leg.....
But after 15 minutes of solid preaching.... I knew it was no joke, I
had flashbacks to the Jehova (sp) visits. I tried to reason with him
(big mistake), I tried to state my opinion (he just kept spouting)
so I hung up.......
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Hey, No Worries
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:14:48
Message Number 15728
You're message (slap slap) to Fennec (slap slap) about marraige (double
slap) reminds me of Eddie Murphy's story about how his mother talked to
him.....
You (slap) will (punch) listen (pow) to (slap) me (kick).
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Steel Top
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:16:35
Message Number 15729
TO> Nor have an Ego as Big, but we love you anyways....
SS>Grrr....oh, okay. (sign)
What did the sign say?????
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: BBS: GOD callin
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:18:40
Message Number 15730
I don't think he'd just do it to anyone..... I dunno. But I'm not going
to plaster his name and number all over and embarrass the guy.... after
all, if everyone thinks his bbs is just a front for "witnessing" he's
either going to get No calls or crank calls. I dunno why he picked me
to "preach to". Maybe because of my age, the fact that I'm married with
children and he didn't place me in the same slot with the others that
would give him peer pressure for "expressing his beliefs". I'm sure He
thought he was doing Gods work.... but jamming something down someones
throat, isn't quite my idea of God's word..
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Smart 1 or Amy?
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:22:25
Message Number 15731
Wrong!!!! She's only 7 months old, she's still a puppy.
Hey! I listen to the Dog Chow commercials...... she's not a dog until
she's 12 months old.!!!!!
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:23:41
Message Number 15732
TS>there are some sexual practices which are just plain sick.
Sick to you maybe, sick to me maybe, sick to half the population.....
but that isn't what counts.... again: it's ok as long as the partici-
pants involved like it and don't feel it's sick, and no one is getting
hurt!!!!
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: CHARLES DITTELL
Subject: breaking habits
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:29:18
Message Number 15733
Ever notice that you can go without a cigarette for a day or two even
with no problem if it's like a necessity (like the flu, or being some
where you can't smoke, or whatever) but just mention the word, quit
smoking and you shift into overdrive consuming 10 cigaretts an hour...
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: CHARLES DITTELL
Subject: hung up on GOD?
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:31:21
Message Number 15734
CD>I'd be careful about hanging up on God's Front Man....
Yeah, he told me the only reason I called that night was because God
planned it that way for him to witness to me.... welp, in that case,
I guess God planned for me to hang up on him too.......
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Sick Stuff
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:34:12
Message Number 15735
TO to TS>But I like Hamsters!!! I might have said that to the wrong
person eh?
Yep. Right now, he's probably loading his double barrel shotgun and
donning his "Moral Majority Rules" T shirt...... Don't tell him where
you live, Thumpy.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Commercials
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:37:02
Message Number 15736
Hehehehehe...... Who do I make the check payable to? I wanna Gender
Bender.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: RUFUS
Subject: Back seat
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:41:30
Message Number 15737
RF(after being called "Boy") Ouch, oh jeez. Did that ever hurt. :P
Just reply: "Boy? How big do man grow where you come from????"
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: CHARLES DITTELL
Subject: hung up on GOD?
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:44:21
Message Number 15738
CD>Or God's shouting down to a few huddled groups, "OK, you guys, now I
want you to shave yer heads.......and hang out at airports....."
Hari Christna, Hari Christna, Hari Hari, Christna Christna
Ok, so it's been a long time since I saw Hair.....
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: DEATH FENNEC
Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM
Date & Time: 04/21/91 20:49:03
Message Number 15739
I took the "pill" for several years. Yes it's true that some women
may experience problems after being on the pill for several years.
I did, but I stopped taking it as soon as I developed some of the first
symptoms (brown spots on skin, absense of menstration) and everything
returned to normal quite quickly....
Almost any form of birth control has side effects with the exeption
of the "rubber" and a "diaphram".
There is only one "natural" method of birth control..... the Rhythm
method,,,, it has one "Big" side effect.
Children.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: really?
Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:01:39
Message Number 15740
Drf> (talking about Rabbit Hormone Neutralizer Pills) ..once you're on
those pills, ya can't stop -- or the so-called "Rebound Effect"
happens. (Ten days of hormones, all hitting at once. Horrible thing
to do to a Rabbit.
Even worse thing to do to a Pit Bull......
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:03:58
Message Number 15741
Drf> But you haven't rung my bell, yet.
Remember that song: back in the disco days......."You can ring my bell,
ell, ell, you can ring my bell." (obnoxious music follows) That's the
only words..... over and over and over again.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: DRAGONFLY
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:05:48
Message Number 15742
Actually, Dragonfly, I hesitate to tell anyone who's board it was I
called for reasons I stated earlier..... I mean, maybe the guy was
really trying to convert me, eh? Maybe? I don't want to expose one
of God's disciples!!!!!! I don't want to rot in Hell.... But more
importantly, I don't want to be branded as a "pigeon".
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Dog problems
Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:08:00
Message Number 15743
Scott Scott Scott..... Be nice!!!! And quit slamming Dragonfly.
Don't forget, what goes around comes around...... and I see it coming
in your direction....
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Angora
Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:12:48
Message Number 15744
I got a message from the Mother ship (or at least I think it was)
yestarday.... "Brains, I want BRAINS." Of course, the T.V. was
blaring quit loudly and I suppose it could have been an advertisement
for The Walking Dead...... but, hummmmm, I kept hearing the distict
revving of a 67 Mustang in the background and someone chanting "Yoda,
yoda". Ack!!!!!!!!!!! A beam of light!!!!
It's the Probe!!!!!!!!!! NOOO
O
O
O
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: M&M's
Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:16:09
Message Number 15745
These Earth Creatures actually EAT the M & M's........
....hmph! There's no accounting for taste....
What a perfectly good waste of rocket fuel.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Super Glue.
Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:17:19
Message Number 15746
Hmmm, I wonder what the landlord will tell the new tenants about
the Cieling Fan???? Perhaps the glued undies can be explained as a
wind direction device, eh?
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Keep hiding
Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:18:42
Message Number 15747
(Saavik lights the fuse just as Thumper ducks back down in his hole)
Awight you wascly wabbit."*BOOM* (Saavik wipes the soot from her
face and sighs, then goes in search of Yosimite Sam for back up.)
In the true spirit of Arnold Schwartzen(whatever) "I'll be back."
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Tofu
Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:21:23
Message Number 15748
Drf> Just as certainly as there is a Gryphon of Pride.
TO> And a Bunny of Bashing, (Vulcan that is)
Oh, Vulc off, and quit Hare-assing me!!!!!
===========
From: DEATH FENNEC
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM
Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:39:53
Message Number 15749
SORRY DUDE! Saavik has said that she was on the pill, and it did
cause her to have side effects. She also said that every type of BC
has side effects... Hmm. Oh well, thanks ... :)
/! Death Fennec -- ;>
===========
From: DEATH FENNEC
To: SAAVIK
Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM
Date & Time: 04/21/91 21:41:14
Message Number 15750
Blah...Children...Not now... Anyways, thanks for the advice,
and talkig to me about BC, it's a nasty thought, (killing a living
being), But I guess that is how it has to work.
/! Death Fennec -- ;>
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Sick Stuff
Date & Time: 04/21/91 23:51:04
Message Number 15759
TH1> But I /LIKE/ Hamsters!!
TS> Heheh.
What? You didn't yell at Thumper? Why, I'm surprised!
SHOCK!
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/21/91 23:52:50
Message Number 15760
TS> Studing theatre?....
That's "Studying"
hehehe.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: THE SPECIALIST
Subject: Doggie, kitty?
Date & Time: 04/21/91 23:53:35
Message Number 15761
TS> YEP. What brought that on?
You'd like to know wouldn't ya. hehehe....
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: 15000
Date & Time: 04/21/91 23:56:14
Message Number 15762
SA> ..So you gonna tell me about this "new Girl" or what???
Yeah. Her name is Tammy. She's nineteen. (I know she's a little young
but what can ya do?) I think she's got a face like Kim Basinger.
As The Specialist said about Black Magic, she's very ornamental.
(And a few other things as well. heheheh)
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Whips and chain
Date & Time: 04/21/91 23:59:15
Message Number 15763
T> "Mine little reptile"??
SA> Gee, do you think there's enought to go around??
Stop that. You going to give him an ego bigger than mine.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Hey, No Worries
Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:01:22
Message Number 15764
Who (slap) give you (slap) the idea (pow) that you (slap) were my
mother? (kick)
I know, where do I get off talking to Fennec like I was he's father....
well, not exactly like his father...but I was just trying to make a
strong point....Fennec, I hope I was over-stepping my bounds.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Steel Top
Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:04:13
Message Number 15765
SS> Grrrr....oh, okay. (sign)
SA> What did the sign say???
Merge. hehehehe.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: hung up on GOD?
Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:07:12
Message Number 15766
SA> ....welp, in that case, I guess God planned for me to hang up on
SA> him too....
Touche!
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: hung up on GOD?
Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:09:19
Message Number 15767
SA> Ok, so it's been a long time since I saw Hair....
I remember that movie, I liked it a lot. Perhaps we could rent it some
time and watch it. BTW, you're dating yourself again.
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Birth Control
Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:11:04
Message Number 15768
There's also the Sponge and foam and of course, not doing the nasty all
together. But we won't count that idea..hehehe
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Dog problems
Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:15:13
Message Number 15769
SA> ..Don;t forget, what goes around comes around...and I see it coming
SA> in your direction...
What do you mean by that?
===========
From: SCOTT STEEL
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Super Glue.
Date & Time: 04/22/91 00:17:05
Message Number 15770
SA> Perhaps the glued undies can be explained as a wind directtion
SA> device, eh?
Or, perhaps, a small flag...
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SAAVIK
Subject: The Probe
Date & Time: 04/22/91 04:58:48
Message Number 15771
S> It's the Probe!!!!!!!!! NOOO
O
O
Saavik? You there?!?! Saavik? Hello? Anyone?
Well, If you ever make it back and read this, Call me at
52i71, Beta-Ixian System, Gorphnob Central. Ask For Elvis...
Thumpelvis
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SAAVIK
Subject: But Dear...
Date & Time: 04/22/91 05:02:21
Message Number 15772
S> Oh Vulc off, and Quit Hare-Assing me!!!!!
But, Oh Truly Soft one, I /LIKE/ hare-assing you. What else is there
to do when I can't think of what to post? (No one answer that please)
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Shock
Date & Time: 04/22/91 05:04:03
Message Number 15773
TS>heheheh
SS> What? You didn't yell at Thumper? Why, Im Suprised! SHOCK!
I'm quite pleased actually...
===========
From: THUMPER ONE
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Glued Undies
Date & Time: 04/22/91 05:06:41
Message Number 15774
SA> ...as a wind direction device, eh?
SS> Or, Perhaps, a small flag...
Um..... Air Freshener? Naw, Couldn't be...
===========
From: KNIGHT OWL
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: ???
Date & Time: 04/22/91 08:18:04
Message Number 15775
TO> I'm kinda leaning toward the order of the bounding hare.
Sounds better than that other 'speed bump' religeon. Got any info?
L8R!
-A convertible
Knight Owl
===========
From: KNIGHT OWL
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Poor Taste
Date & Time: 04/22/91 08:20:41
Message Number 15776
TO> Ears drooping in shame,
Aren't you a lop-eared rabbit to start with?
===========
From: KNIGHT OWL
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Gawd!
Date & Time: 04/22/91 08:23:37
Message Number 15777
>That my friend, was in poor taste.
> Can you think of any ads that aren't?
> I'm sorry already!
I liked it! I was being sarcastic about asking if you could think of ads
.
Knight Owl
===========
From: KNIGHT OWL
To: RUFUS
Subject: Commercials
Date & Time: 04/22/91 08:42:59
Message Number 15778
I haven't seen either of those. Have you seen the NAPA ads?
They're the best I've seen in a while.
This year's 'Rediculous ad' award goes to the ziplock bag company.
(Ya know... the one with the finger & the thumb?)
L8R!
-A generic
Knight Owl
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Schism
Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:10:44
Message Number 15781
Yes, but who nailes ninety-five Theses on whose door? (And I don't
think the New College Library would like it if I tried to take ninety
five Theses from the library...)
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: M&M's
Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:12:34
Message Number 15782
They work fairly well as an aphrodesiac on Earthlings, as well.
And they're fantastic Noshies!
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: THUMPER ONE
Subject: Ring me big boy
Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:14:05
Message Number 15783
>*DING* but that may be out of order, Can I Ding People? Is there some
>High order of the Ding? SOme on Explain this please?
Ding, /Di<NG>/, interj. 1. The sound of a bell tolling. 2. Colloq.
expression found on aLTER rEALITY signifying one, more, or none of the
following: a. Precisely; 'right on!'; Total understanding.
b. Agreement with one or more points made by another user. c. The
sound of an orgasm. d. The sound of the Great Aardvark, the Armadillo
of Happiness, or the Apathy Bear entering a human's mine.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Dog problems
Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:20:33
Message Number 15784
Dfy>>SS>> ...obvious serious of topics
SS> If you're going to quote me at least you could did it accurately.
SS>>DFy> ....the sarcasm went >>WHOOSH>>ing over my head...
If you're going to quote me at least you could did it accurately.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: P.WHIPPED
Subject: aaackpthh
Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:24:20
Message Number 15785
Hmmm. That reminds me of a fortune cookie message I once got. "Your
wheel of fortune has broken spokes, a dented rim, and rusted bearings.
Better luck in your next lifetime."
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SAAVIK
Subject: BBS: GOD callin
Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:26:59
Message Number 15786
<This is Dragonfly, NOT the False Prophet, talking about religion. Yes,
this time I'm serious.> If you really feel it's your calling to witness
to people -- if you really feel God has told you to preach the Word --
then the best thing to do is to talk gently with everyone else, learn
their own religious viewpoints, and make it very easy for them to change
them to the viewpoint God gave you.
In other words, let them take the 'easy road' of slowly changing
their beliefs -- not cramming it down their throats.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Seriously now
Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:34:58
Message Number 15787
S> *Ding* *Dong*
Ahhhh. Thanks.
S> Remember that song: "You can ring my bel, ell, ell, you can ring my
S> bell." .. That's the only words.
Unfortunately, no. When disco was hip, I wasn't listening to much
music. Even though I learned to dance disco, I rarely listened to it.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: SAAVIK
Subject: Anything butSex
Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:37:28
Message Number 15788
No problem. I understand why you don't want to say whose board it was.
But, from your description, it wasn't one of the Christian boards around
the area (Solomon's Portico and the half-gone Victory Life Line) --
which was what I was expecting.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: DRAGONFLY
To: DEATH FENNEC
Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM
Date & Time: 04/22/91 13:40:29
Message Number 15789
Every kind of birth control has side effects. Can they be lived
with? Even condoms sometimes cause problems: one friend I know is
allergic to Nonoxyl-9. That's why you should get your information from
a reliable source.
//Dragonfly//
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: DEATH FENNEC
Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM
Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:33:24
Message Number 15792
Yeah, I did say the Pill has side effects, not everyone has them, and
with regular visits to the Doctor (as all sexually active women should
go at least once a year anyway) any side effects can be detected before
they cause any serious problems. The human body is a wonderous thing.
It usually lets you know well in advance if it isn't liking what you
are doing to it..... The Pill is a very good form of birth control is
used correctly and if you regularly visit your physician....
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: DEATH FENNEC
Subject: SERIOUS PROBLEM
Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:37:59
Message Number 15793
DF>BC (Birth Control) it's a nasty thought, (killing a living being)
Whoa!!!!!!! Wait a sec..... Birth control is meant to avoid such things.
..... for instance, the pill stops a woman from ovulating, therefore,
the sperm never finds an egg and conception never takes place.....
And both the condom and the diaphram prevent the sperm from reaching
the egg, so therefore, again, conception never takes place.....
Birth control isn't murder, it's prevention of pregnancy....
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Sick Stuff
Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:41:06
Message Number 15794
TH1>But I /LIKE/ hamsters!!
TS> Heheh.
SS>What? You didn't yell at Thumper? Why, I'm surprised! SHOCK!
Me too..... it couldn't be, (no, not possible), that TS is giving up
the argumenmt of perversion????? Or hmmmm, can it be he /really/ has
a sense of humor??????
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: 15000
Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:43:31
Message Number 15795
SS>(about Tammy) She's 19, got a face like Kim Basinger, she's very
ornamental. (and a few other things as well)
Hmmm. Well that tells me a whole lot.... does she have a brain? Is she
a down to earth person or what???? Gee, ask for details and what do you
get.... could it be that the above description is all you are interested
in? I thought I knew you better than that, Steel. I can't say "She
sounds nice." Because, so far, she just sounds like another pretty face.
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Whips and chain
Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:47:30
Message Number 15796
SS>Stop that. You (re) going to give him an ego bigger than mine.
Impossible.....
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Steel Top
Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:49:16
Message Number 15797
Hmmmm, and I thought the sign said.... "STOP"
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: hung up on GOD?
Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:49:55
Message Number 15798
SS>BTW, you're dating yourself again.
Yeah, I know, but at least I'm enjoying my company....... (uhg)
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Birth Control
Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:51:24
Message Number 15799
SS>There's also "not doing the nasty" all together.
Abstince (sp?) does NOT make the heart grow fonder..... it makes the
flames grow colder. NOT an option!!!!!! But it is a sure fire way to
prevent pregnancy and venereal diesise (spelling sucks)
===========
From: SAAVIK
To: SCOTT STEEL
Subject: Dog problems
Date & Time: 04/22/91 14:53:29
Message Number 15800
SS>What do you mean by that?
What goes around, comes around, Scott. You keep hammering on people and
they are going to "get you back". Sooner or later......
===========