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? ? ?
? ?? ?? ?????? ???????? ? Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter ?
? ?? ?? ??? ??? ?? ?? ? ?
? ?? ?? ???????? ???????? ? Issue #110 - 8/16/1995 ?
? ???????? ???????? ?? ?? ? ?
? ???? ?? ?? ???????? ? -[ Written By: Mogel ]-?
? ? ?
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? Suicide in Style ?
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Okay, so all my life I've been waking up in a cold sweat having
dreams that one day I could actually write for VaS!! That day has finally
come that I can unite with the RaDest guys on 'da scene. Now don't doubt me,
YES I can be as obnoxious and ignorant as them! Really I can!! Fuck the
homos, fuck the blacks, fuck the jews, fuck anything that is or isn't me!!
You ALL suck and VaS kicks everyone and everything's ass.
With that out of the way, I'll begin the file. This file is not
about the lates way to get ]<0d3z or the gNu |-|4C/<iNG 4 (_)NiX, no this
file is for those of you with miserable, fucked up lives and you want to kill
yourself. I have compiled several methods that you should employ in
commiting suicide. Remember one thing here, don't be boring. Get dangerous.
Get exciting. How many stupid suicides have you seen or heard about in your
life?? I'll say it once and I'll say it again(huh?): If you're going to kill
yourself then why not do something meaningful while you do it???
Okay, the first thing that must be done is you must thourghly convice
yourself that you do, in fact, want to die. That part is easy...just look
at your pathetic life. Reflect on it. Need help still? Fine. Chant these
words to yourself: "I am a loser. I spend every waking minute on a BBS.
I have no girlfriend. I'm ugly. I smell bad. My mom is a bitch. No one
loves me. I have no real friends. I have no real talents. I'm worthless."
That should just about do it. If not, then just watch the Weather channel
for about 5 minutes (15 if you can take it) and that should finish the job.
The next part is the fun part that all suicide people should have...
of coarse! The suicide note!! What could make a suicide with out the
suicide note?! Now you can take the Kobain method and write a lame reason
for killing yourself (such as feeling like shit, having a worthless life),
but let me suggest a few methods...first the funny method. What better way
to end your life than with something that will make your loved ones laugh out
loud? Because I'm so Elite, I have included a few examples:
___________________________________________
| |
| t0 wh0m iT M4y K0nS3rN, |
| bY tH3 tiM3 Y0u r34d tHiZ n0t3 i Wi11 |
| h4v3 hUnG mYs31f bY /x\y K4b3l 0f mY |
| m0d3M. y0u m4Y b3 aZkiNg "\x/|-|y dID |
| h3 d0 iT?" w311, |
| |
| i DiD iT iN tH3 n4M3 0v |
| W4r3ZZzzZZZzzZ!!!!!1!!1! |
| |
| p.i.s.s. |
| m4/<3 sUr3 tH4t mY B04R|> |
| St4Yz a 0-3 d4y ZiT3!!!11!!1 |
| |
|___________________________________________|
_______________________________________________
| |
| Dear Mom, |
| I'm a little tea pot short |
| and stout. Here is my penis, here is my |
| spout. There once was a lady named Venus |
| whose body was shaped like a Venus flytrap |
| Remember the alamo? Where's my liver? |
| I'm melting...I'm melting. I wish, I wish, |
| I wish I was a fish. Mom I think I love |
| you won't you tell me your name. Haha, |
| tricked you that's a line from a song. |
| I like to call Mogel's board at 2157323413. |
| Well, at least now you know where Dad's |
| shotgun went to. I really don't have too |
| much to say now that I'm dead. Oh yeah, I |
| wanted to mention that I always hated our |
| family outings to the forest. Uncle Jack |
| with nachos and big farts and always hearing |
| you and dad scream as you were having sex in |
| tent next door. Please engrave "I'm Coming" |
| on my grave stone and best wishes to you. |
| I did it for Drano. Please excuse the Mogel |
| Plug, Goodbye.... |
|_______________________________________________|
Another more affective note technique is to be an asshole. You need
to gather up all that anger and let it loose in a flame note. Observe:
___________________________________________________
| |
| YOU MONEY GRUBBING SACK OF SHIT! I AM SO |
| FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF YOU AND THIS LIFE |
| AND THIS WORLD AND YOUR PLACE IN IT. HERE |
| LIES MY MOTHERFUCKING BODY, ASSHOLE. YOU |
| WANNA KNOW WHY I'M HERE?! I'M HERE BECAUSE |
| YOU FUCKING PUT ME HERE! THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S |
| YOUR FAULT!! I COMMITED SUICIDE BECAUSE OF |
| YOU!! NO MATTER WHAT YOUR FRIENDS WILL TRY TO |
| TELL YOU, I SLIT MY WRIST BECAUSE BLEEDING TO |
| DEATH WAS MORE FUN THAN LIVING WITH YOU. YOU |
| BITCH! YOU KILLED ME. |
|___________________________________________________|
This letter is the best kind. It's great fun to die knowing you
have put a kind of guilt on a person that they will never forget. Hey, you
might even get them to commit suicide too. But no way will their letter be
better than yours(unless they were reading this great text file).. their's
will say something like "..i just couldn't live with myself..." That wollows
in lamity compared to yours, huh?
The next thing I'm going to discuss is the actual methods you can
commit suicide. This first part is the list of old, been-done, stupid things
that only lame suicide people do.
Suicide For Losers:
------------------
1) Hanging yourself
2) Slitting your wrists
3) Shooting yourself
4) Stabbing yourself
5) Jumping off a building
6) Going into the bathtub with a toaster
7) Overdosing on something
/<oo1 Suicide:
--------------
1] METHOD ONE: The Sports Bomb.
I've always been a strict believer in the philosophy that if you're
gonna go, you should take as many innocent people with you as possible.
Enter: The Sports Arena. That's right, either that or a Concert. Any
place where you can get real close to as many people as possible. Then all
you do is bring a grenade, a bomb, or some explosive...either stapped across
your body or hidden away....and here's the kicker: YOU JUST BLOW UP WITH
THEM. That's right, don't like whip it out and say "This is for Allah" or
any shit like that...then people will all run away and that would suck. No,
the best thing to do is just go boom.
I'm not going into specific on how to make any bombs... you want to
get technical shit? Read Phrack or something. Besides, you should all be
313+3 enough to make a bomb dammit.
2] METHOD TWO: Rape Spree.
You are about to die. So why the fuck can't you do something that
you've always wanted to do?? Remember that girl and school with the really
big tits that ignored you?! I think it's about time you concocked a really
intricate plan to GET her...after all, isn't she one of the reasons your
doing this? That's right! Okay, what you need to is have prepared
handcuffs, ropes, chains, anything that you can tie her down with...Now
the part that you are on your own with is getting alone with her in some
deserted place...(No, Your Uncle Moggie wouldn't leave ya' without ANY
tips! Here's one.. pick some deserted place somewhere and then run up to
her and tell her that her boyfriend is making our "BIG TIME" with some
chick (it would be wise to pick some bitch she would be envious of) at that
location. Then just accompany her there and your are home free. Make
sure it's a deserted place, and make sure you have your matierals either
with you or planted at the site. Remember a gag. Also, you could brush up
on your raping skills in the VaS "How to Rape" files. Anyway, fuck her
good and plenty. Make sure you cup a really big feel...do it for me...or
better yet, do it for VaS! Then you kill yourself. Make sure you don't
get too excited and kill her too.. remember it's important to leave
permanent psychological scars on the people you leave behind!
3] Method Three: Public Assholes
This is the most important one in my opinion. Since you are going to
just up and murder yourself, why don't you do something useful for humanity
before you fucking just up and leave?! Don't be a selfish jH00! Do you
know how many motherfucking asshole politicians there are in this goddam
Capitalistim motherfucking bullshit government we have?!? Do you know how
many annoying ignorant obnoxious egocentric relegious leaders we have?! Do
you know how many money hungry self-centered entertainers are out there?!
That says it all. KILL ONE OF THEM!! Don't leave without taking out of
them with you or your a pathetic loser that did nothing with your
meaningless life. I know if I was gonna go, I would take the Power Rangers
with me!
In conclusion, I would just like to say something simple. You are
going to seise to exist if you kill yourself. You might as well do
something crazy before you go... be it running away from home or whatever,
if you plan to do the big "self-fuck", then why not have fun with it?
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[VaS] 95' - "Are you ready, Are you ready to kill whitey!"
(C)opywrite If YoU RiP ThIs OfF wE WiLL FuCk YoU uP!