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?  ??    ??   ??????   ????????  ?   Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter   ?
?  ??    ??  ???  ???  ??    ??  ?                                            ?
?  ??    ??  ????????  ????????  ?          Issue #104  - 3/1/1995            ?
?  ????????  ????????  ??    ??  ?                                            ?
?    ????    ??    ??  ????????  ?          -[ Written By: The VaS KreW     ]-?
?                                ?                                            ?
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?                            2600 Preview                                     ?
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    We here at VaS have just recieved an advance copy of the spring issue of 
 2600 mag. Of course, all you wannabe newbies out there are creaming your
 bugle boys. 

 Cover- Billy Idol Bent over masturbating, while accidently breaking into 
  secret NaSA DoCuMenTz!!@!@!

 Index-     The Isreal Plant-a-Tree fund
            Bangleshi Communal Ghetto Payphones
            How to make a red Box out of your Dick
            Blue Boxing in the new 2ESS
            Hacking America Online 
            Letters
            How to make a Red Box out of your bodily fluids
            Software Review
 
 Subscription Information-

    A one year subscription to 2600 mag will cost $160 for 4 issues. For a two
 year subscription, it will cost you $580. Now, you may be wondering why we
 are asking so much for a quartarly released magazine that is half the size of
 normal magazine with only 30 pages. A magazine that is photocopied in my
 basement. And you wonder why it costs so much. Well, i have to make all those
 payments for my pink Ferrari Limo, the lease on my huge New York mansion and
 my sex change operation. Yes, even though i act like i am unmaterialistic, 
 I'm really very materialistic. I want your money.

 
 The Isreal Plant-a-Tree fund-  By Emmanel Goldstein

    Hey guys, this fund is for supplying my motherland with big, strong male
 trees. It supplies shade for Me and my boy lovers, so the police have a 
 harder time trying to find me and all the old time hackers who ALL molest
 children. Please call 1800-blue-box and give ush all your money. If you don't
 send us money, it's all Mondo 2000's fault.

 
 Bangledeshi Communal Ghetto Payphones- Makeed Habad Phiber Wasu

    In my country, there are two payphones. You must go to the one near the
 ghandi ghetto, my freind and spend many many many life savings to make a phone
 call. So me find way to hack the ghetto phone to get free calls to my brother
 the party store owner in Amereka. The phone uses FGC 283 ESS 1923. It's 
 important to the phone to be connected to the ADF through the JHD. The JHD 
 depends on the CHD run by the JDL. To hack it, you must cut a cow hoof into
 little peices and mix it with your donkey vaginal yeast to form a paste. 
 Drink this mixture amd in two days you shall shit out our local currency. 
 Then put the jeheberhad that came out of your hole into the phone. 
     
 
 How to make a Red Box out of your Dick, Part 4- Emmanual Optic

    Ok, to make this red box, you will need a 5.6304834332 Crystal, Some 
 K-Y Jelly- It works better than Vasoline, trust me, and Naked Pictures of 
 The Grim Phreaker. Ok, now First of all, jam the Crystal as far up the hole 
 in the center of your dick as Possible. Now you are ready. Pull up to the
 pay phone and unzip your pants. Make sure no one is watching. However, i get
 a kick out of Masturbating in public. Rub your 1/2 pud with the jelly until
 you spew. Your spew will produce a quarter tone and cause the phone to fuck
 up and give everyone free calls. 

 Blue Boxing in the New 2ESS- Wired Hacker

    2ESS is about to Replace 1ESS as the nations main ESS. This new ESS will
 try to get rid of blue boxing. Now you will have to make the tones louder
 so the computer can hear you. Lot's of people say blue boxing is dead, but it
 still can be done. I haven't tried or ever done it but it still works. 

 Hacking America Online- C0de FrEd

    Here i will tell you how to get an internet account. Go to the store and
 have daddy buy you an America Online kit. Install this and log on. Now you
 have hacked into America Online. This is the most /<-rad site ever, and only
 the real hackers have accounts here. Now you can sit back and act like a
 badass hacker because you have an account, and all those lamers don't! I know
 some of you may think that AOL is lame, but all my DELPHI trials ran out.

 Letters-

  Dear 2600,
    I just got my computer with a 28800 modem and i want to know how to make 
  free calls NOW. Also, i called some BBS you listed with my phone, and 
  instead of connecting me it made weird tones. Is this a blue box?

                                                      Mikey

    Just read 2600, and we will tell you how to make a blue box. That tone  
    you found probably wasn't a blue box, it was probably a silver box


  Dear 2600, 
    Some darn sicko has been making obscene prank calls to my home phone 
  line. I want to know how to hack the phone system so that i can catch him.

                                                      James Cooper

    I suggest you build a red box. Play the tone into the phone when he calls 
    and he will realize that you are really a K-RaD Phreaker and leave you
    alone.


  Dear 2600,
    If i use a red box will the FBI, NSA and SS be after me? Will the people
  i call get in trouble? Will I get in trouble?

                                            TeenBoy

    No, at the moment they can't if you have a special emmanual adapter. Just                                                  
    come over to my hottub at the mansion and i'll give you one. Bring a 
    freind. 

  Dear 2600,
    How do i make a red box?

                                                    code ReD

    We have several plans for red boxes in every issue of 2600 magazine.


  Dear 2600,
    What is a red box? What is Unix? What is the information Superhighway? 
  What is a bloto box? What is a Blue Box? What is a computer?

                                                    Mega-el33t


  How to make a red box out of your bodily fluids- Phreak 7

    To make a red box out of your bodily fluids, you must get a large bottle.
  Piss in it just enough to cover the bottom. Then Masturbate into the bottle.
  Now slit you throat and make sure all the blood lands in the jar. You are
  almost done now. Drill a hole in the back of your neck halfway through. Now
  pour your spinal fluid into the jar. You are now done. To use, pour it down
  the coin return which will cause the phone to explode and then you can make
  PhReE cAllZ d00d!

  Software Review: KoMMaNdEr KeEn 1- by MeGaEliTe

    Hi, I'm mega3l33t. Commander Keen is a big strong boy who runs from 
  building to building. He has nice little legs and a tight ass. He is so 
  strong and it makes me sweat when he uses his long titanium shaft pogo-stick 
  to overcome large slimy throbbing jelly-like monsters. He's so petite and
  sweet. I would just like to take him out of the game and make him run around
  in my pocket.


 Don't forget to call the 2600 voice bbs. 2600 voice bbs costs $3.99 per
 minute, $3.98 for each additional minute. If your under 18, you must have 
 the permission of a parent, but call anyways.

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