💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › UXU › uxu-595.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 15:18:53.
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[ Top 10: Why Life Is Like A Bed Of Roses ] [ By DIzzIE ]
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TOP 10 REASONS WHY LIFE IS LIKE A BED OF ROSES
by: DIzzIE 2001
1) Lots of people are allergic to roses, leading to severe sneezing, teary
eyes, runny noses, and in some more serious cases, prolonged exposure can
result in death.
2) A rose has many thorns. Hence, a bed of roses has many many thorns.
Unlike a bed of nails, the thorns are not distributed in a pattern so
that you will feel no pain when you lay down on it, no no: a bed of roses
has sporadically random thorns and hence when you lie down or even try to
pick one up, you will always get pricked, and usually start bleeding. In
more serious cases, the initial bleeding can expose you to more severe
deceases, and once again this may result in death or to a lesser extent,
possible amputation of the infected area (usually being the finger(s))
3) While the roses may look quite beautiful and even exquisite at first,
they very soon begin to rot, loose their vibrant colors, as well as their
intoxicating fragrance, and hence they become dried up brown looking
pieces of shit that stink.
4) Roses are constantly being rooted from their home (the ground), and are
either being taken to stores and are being sold (hence they are basically
slaves), or they are taken home, separated from the other roses, or are
kept in small bushels, but are still separated from all the other roses
in the original bed, and are put in a small vase, where they are usually
kept in water, not in soil as that is their natural habitat, and because
we are talking about a bed of roses, not a bed of water lilies (which
roses are not of course) the lifespan of the rose is drastically
shortened.
5) A bed of roses has no purpose other than to serve higher beings. They
exist, and are allowed to exist, because they produce gas(ses) that we
need to survive. They are also pretty to look at. As soon as they loose
those two qualities, or are replaced by more efficient ways to produce
the two qualities, the bed of roses will quickly be annihilated.
6) While at first glance, a bed of roses may look pretty, a closer
examination will reveal that many roses have a wide assortment of
diseases that make their leaves shrivel and die, and the diseases spread
to other roses... and soon the whole bed is a Petri dish for various
bacterial cultures.
7) When you bend down to snort a rose, you may notice that there are ants
crawling all over the stem and are rapidly crawling up your nose as you
sniff. You may also notice that there are bees hiding in the roses. But
of course, you notice that after the bees have already stung you. This
may once again, in severe allergic occurrences, cause death.
8) In order for the roses to be planted where they were, other, less
attractive (but perhaps more useful) plants had to be cleared out of the
rose bed zone and either transported to another location, or more likely,
they were simply tossed into the trashcan or the compost heap, all to
make room for the bourgeoisie roses.
9) What where the aforementioned bees doing hiding in the roses in the first
place? They were robbing the roses. Stealing the sweet nectar. Hence,
roses are constantly being robbed of what they produce by the droid bees,
who are, in turn, only serving the bee queen. Hence, the bee queen rules
over all.
10) Roses are probably the most exploited flower ever. They are constantly
being referenced to in poems, novels, etc... They are displayed on wall
paper, on clothing, on shower curtains, on table clothes, on furniture,
on advertisements, etc... Never have the roses consented to this
exploitation, nor have they ever received any retribution, neither in
the form of monetary compensation, nor in any other form.
email me for more of my files or to talk
about anything: xcon0@yahoo.com
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uXu #595 Underground eXperts United 2002 uXu #595
The uXu FAQ - http://www.uXu.org/faq.htm
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