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                         Underground eXperts United

                                 Presents...

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         [  How Do One Find New Friends?  ]          [  By Knyttet  ]


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           How do one find new friends?
           written by Knyttet


           I have been trying to find new friends by the
           way I know best, writing. It sounded like a
           good idea when I started but when I had thrown
           away all the drafts and the bin was starting to
           get full I realized that it wasn't so easy.
           How much of yourself do you want to leave out
           to a stranger? How will you feel if you don't
           get any replies? And what if the reply you get
           is from someone who sound like a total madman?

           I have always been a bit selective about my
           friends. Maybe that's why I don't have that
           many. But I prefer to be lonely than to be
           surrounded by total idiots. There are always
           books if life gets too boring.
           Well, back to the friends business. It was so
           much easier when you were in school. You met
           people more naturally. Now you meet people
           where you work but sometimes you need someone
           to talk to that does not talk about your job.
           Or to gossip about how it is where you work
           (it's a myth that this is an urge that women
           have).

           The thing I hate most about getting new friends
           is that it takes so much time to really get to
           know someone, to start to trust someone so you
           can tell/show them who you really are. And
           maybe they can't take that, maybe they don't
           like what you really are at all and run away.
           Then you have to start all over again.

           I think it's more complicated to find new
           friends than new lovers. When you start to love
           someone (get attracted to someone) then it's
           not necessary the things you have in common
           that's important, it's more a feeling.
           Attraction.

           But with new friends you mostly start out with
           something you both have in common, some kind of
           mutual interest. And if you are unlucky after
           awhile you will find out that this was the only
           thing you had in common. If you are falling in
           love with someone you don't have to have
           something in common, except for the attraction
           but with friends you got to have some things to
           talk about. It isn't enough sitting on the
           couch holding hands and looking in each others
           eyes.

           Maybe I'm too "choosy," but that's the way I am.

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 uXu #421              Underground eXperts United 1998              uXu #421
                      ftp://ftp.etext.org/pub/Zines/uXu
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