💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › UXU › uxu-209.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 15:05:53.
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[ Speech For The Defence ] [ By The GNN ]
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"SPEECH FOR THE DEFENCE"
by THE GNN/DualCrew-Shining/uXu
"What is mind? What is matter? Never mind."
(unknown)
I look around and I see people. Everywhere I look I can see them. They
walk the streets of my city, they sit in front of me at the library, they
eat lunch at the same restaurant as me. Sometimes, they give me a look but
I quickly look away. It is dangerous to stare (and even look) at people in
a big city. They might be killers, madmen or just looking for a fight. I
walk the streets, watching the sidewalk pass below my feet. I cannot look
at people. People are dangerous.
At night I sit on my bed, alone. I hear my neighbors chat and play
music. Outside, I hear the rumbling noise of passing vehicles. When I
tip-toe to the window and look out, I can see neon signs and crowds of
people far below me. I live in a very nice flat on the seventh floor. I
am rich, but not famous. Some of my friends says that they look up to me
and wants to be like me. But in reality, they do not want to. They have
no feelings at all.
Why am I so successful? Why do I have plenty of money? Why have I never
failed? I opened my eyes on the fourth of november in the merciful year of
nineteen seventy-three. The year is now nineteen ninety-seven, hence I am
twenty-four years old. I believe. I cannot be sure. I cannot be sure of
anything around me.
You see, I have begun to think. For the first time in my life, I think
about the world around me. What is this world? Who am I? Why do I live?
My life has been a constant search for more pleasure and more success. I
have never ever failed. I have never ever failed.
I look around, and I see people who fail. How come that I never fail?
Whatever I do, I do it correct. I have a good education which have led me
into the so-called good life. The good life consists of money, money and
everything that money can buy.
I bought my life. I bought my love. I bought my friends. Is it you, is
it me - why do I live in ecstasy? It might be reality. But I do not trust
that thought.
Is this the good life? Yes, it is the good life. I have the power to
make people love me and I have to the power to get rid of people who do not
want to love me. I have more power than God. Because, I have the money.
Jesus might have been able to transform water into wine, but I can buy more
wine than Jesus was ever able to drink. I drink the wine of life. It is a
sweet liquid, but the more I think about myself - the more the liquid
begins to have a slight taste of bitter.
I should never have began to think. I should have remained satisfied.
Faust, Prometheus and me. We all want to know it all. We do not stay
satisfied with out present knowledge.
Why? Why! I know things that no one else do. I have used my grey brain
to achieve knowledge that is forbidden.
I fear people.
They are dangerous.
They are dangerous because they are not real people. I am a real human
being made of flesh and blood. I have a grey brain and a pulsating heart.
The shadows around me are not humans. They are machines, made of steel and
electronic. Their feelings and thoughts are mechanical, covered by soft
plastic that looks and feels just like real skin.
They only way to control them is to buy them. They have no souls nor any
possibility to think rational. I am the only human being that is able to
do that. Is not that funny?
I know that I am right about this. I am so positive, that I could die
for it. How come that I have never failed? How come that other people are
like they are? They are not like me. I am special. I am rich. I am God.
But I am also a guinea-pig, placed in a huge vivarium, perhaps watched by a
doctor in a white uniform.
I want proof. I want to be sure that I am right. Rational thinking is
good, but empirical data is alway correct. Perhaps I am wrong. But this
feeling is so strong, that I cannot resist to test.
I opened the door to my flat, said hello and let her in. She said she
had missed me and that she needed to rest. She had worked all day, she
said. I watched her fingers and saw a ring that looked exactly like mine.
I knew that it was me who had placed the ring there. She went into the
kitchen and I followed her. I thought, what should I do, what should I do?
I did it. I stabbed her in the back with my boot knife that I had bought
this afternoon. She screamed and tried to remove it from her back. She
danced around in the kitchen, screaming, screaming, screaming. I stepped
back, bit my lip and watched her.
She screamed and I covered my ears.
She looked at me with frightened eyes and I closed my eyes.
After two hours, I looked up. I must have passed out, since, I lied on
the kitchen floor. She was in front of me on the floor. Her eyes stared
at me. They stared right into my eyes. I must have missed her mechanical
heart with the knife, since it took such a long time for her to die.
My hands shaked but I had to move her. When she lied on her stomach, I
drew the knife out of her body. It was covered with fake blood, like the
floor.
I need proof! I knew I needed proof. I just had to do one more thing
and then I would be completely sure that I was right. I cut her open with
the knife and stared into her body.
I saw that I was wrong.
But sometimes, I know that I am right anyway.
I have never ever failed, and I never will.
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What are you going to do? Sell it on CD-ROM? HA HA HA!
Project Runeberg up yours. ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU /pub/Zines/UXU
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I fought the law, and I won.
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uXu #209 Underground eXperts United 1994 uXu #209
Call UNDERWORLD_1994.COM -> +1-514-683-1894
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