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presents
The Guide to Telecommunication Terms
by Gross Genitalia
Toxic File #57
Centre of Eternity 615.552.5747 40 Megs Lots of Files HQ of Toxic Shock
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In today's vast world of telecommunications, it can sometimes get confusing
with the wide range of slang terms and telecommunication jargon. Many of the
terms were brought about as a convenience by users of major telecom systems
such as Compuserve, BIX, and American People-Link.
The following guide is designed to explain some of these terms and "odd
language" used in the mentioned systems and most BBS'es around the world.
The terms are not listed in any particular order, so scan the whole guide.
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SLATEZ : A term used by many telecom-proficient users, and a common used
favorite among us Toxins. Usually relates to a "goodbye" or "catcha later"
phrase.
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LATER DAZE, BETTER LAYS : A lame phrase used as a farewell only by complete
loser schmoos who couldn't get pussy if their life depended on it.
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BTW : Short for "by the way", it can also be used as the modernized variant
for 'suck my dick', as "Bite This Whale".
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BRB : Another three-letter acronym for "Be Right Back", it can also be used
as an insult: "Bite Ronnie's Butt", since it is believed it is a curse
to bite to hemorrhoidal posterior of former president and ex-actor, Ronald
Reagan.
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AFS : More boring three-letter shit, stands for "Away from screen". Used with
a question mark (i.e. AFS?), it is a question: "Anyone for Sex?"
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GTMA : A rarely-used term meaning "Got to Move Along", as in "Gotta run".
Don't use this at the wrong time or it could mean "Gone To Masturbate
Again."
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LOL: Ugh! Stands for "Laughing Out Loud". During family arguments, it can be
used as an abbreviation for the Italian insult: "Lick Our Lavatory".
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<expression> : Expressions that can not be verbalized and cannot be thoroughly
understood without visual and/or audible denotation are often put in
greater-than less-than bracket formation. Some of these sorts of
"expressions" are noted below:
EXPRESSION OFTEN STANDS FOR:
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<grin> : "I'm thinking about you and me having sex."
<laugh> : "Ha! I can imagine your fat ass in a bikini!"
<loud laugh> : "Have sex with you? I'd fuck a rabbit first!"
<smile> : "Yeah, I'd love all ten inches of you in me." < From Female
"Heh heh I've got your cunt now!" < From Male
<sniffle> : "Sorry, I'm impotent!" < From Male
"Sorry, I've pledged celibacy." <From Female
<frown> : "Too bad your dick's too damned short." <From Female
"Too bad your tits curve INWARD..." <From Male
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A rather common expression of feeling is done with the use of "faces". These
faces are explained below:
:) -- A happy face means "Yeah, I'm looking at nude pictures of you even
as we type!"
:( -- A sad face denotes "Too bad, I'm married!"
:P -- This pictures a "raspberry", when you stick out your tongue and
make a spitting gesture. More mature users divide from this gesture
and use ":P" to symbolize a mouth with a tongue hanging out, denoting
"You and me for a little oral sex? I'm drooling!"
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Maybe this small but useful guide will help you avoid an embarrassing
situation. You wouldn't want to be on Compuserve in a discussion about the
AIDS scare and say, "GTMA". And it'd really be bad if you said "AFS" to
someone at a time like that. They'd think you were from San Francisco.
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(c)June 1990 Toxic Shock
By Gross Genitalia.
Remember, we're looking for members! Fetus has great works in store and needs
Followers! Apply at COE [615/552.5747]