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  Welcome to the last (for quite some time) issue that I shall be writing
THO.  I am not giving up THO for good mind you, but I am quite busy with
my Girlfriend, Prepairing for College, and generally having a life
outside of the BBS community.  Rattle shall be taking over THO for about
2 months or so... he'll be regularly putting out issues for quite some
time, so if you want a text by yourself a THO, send it to him on his
board The Land of Rape and Honey at 609-698-1358 with the NUP of: Faith
Collapsing.  You can also get in contact with him at the InterNet
address of RATTLE@CYBERCOM.COM and AIMnet address 166:166/0 and GRiMnet
26:4609/1... basically you can get in contact with him anywhere you
look... like under rocks and stuff.  Enough of this bullshit, let's get
on with this issue of THO.


{|]=-----------------------------------------------------------------=[|}

                               THO #35

                      I'm a Spaz and I Like My Cow
                         By Pip the Angry Youth


  Welcome to my pasture.  I don't know what you are doing in my pasture,
this is called trespassing buddy, and I don't know who you think you
are staying in my pay phone lodge!

  My name is Cornholio!  I need Tee-Pee for my bunghole!

  Anyways, now back to the action.  Thornson is getting quite a few good
left hooks in, but I don't think that the Policeman is going to budge.
Bad Policeman, bad bad.  I am very saddened that I have to witness such
tomfoolery, CLEAN YOUR ROOM!

  Damnit Jim, I'm a Doctor (and a bad actor) not a Prostitute!

  This is getting silly, I don't know what I am talking about right
  now... I'm just typing typing and typing some more and burning out my
  brain co processors.  DON'T TAKE ACID OR YOU'LL END UP LIKE ME!!!!

  Yes, you too can take LSD 4 times and completely fuck up your system
for the rest of your life just like I have!!!  Hell, I took LSD at my
Seinior Prom, that's what I call messed up.  The best part of taking LSD
is the permanant effects that you get, like seeing images about 1 second
longer than they are in front of your face.  It makes driving
interesting let me tell you!!!  Ask my mother, I totaled her car.

  Little Nissan Sentra going down the street at about 35 mph and I turn
to tell my friend to put his seat belt on.  WHAM!!!  Right into the back
of a Ford Grenada.  Have you ever seen one of those things?!?!  It's
like a freaking tank on wheels... I learned to play the accordion in one
rather foul step!  My car is no more and I will probably send my
liscence into Trenton and bum rides off of Glorified G, Domino, and
Rattle for the rest of my unnatural life.  Sucks to be me.

  Today I had the best sex of my life.  I hit a 1 minute orgasm... of
course I pulled out because I was having unprotected sex at the time.  I
don't think you have ever really experienced sex until you have it
without a condom and have your hand somewhere else other than your
crotch.  Call me crazy but it's nice.

  What's grosser than gross?

  Seeing someone bleed out of their crotch.

  What's grosser that that?

  Seeing someone bleed out of their crotch while having sex with them.

  What's grosser than that?

  I don't know really, that's pretty bad.  I see a cool text file coming
out of that idea.

  Now I'm not saying that she wasn't just finishing with her period or
anything, but I'm not saying that she did.  :)



                  THIS NEXT LINE IS DEDICATED TO JAMESY


  Damn bitch, told you!


                    END NEXT LINE DEDICATED TO JAMESY



  Did you ever see someone on fire?  23OO 5Y343[W W9JM3 7876 9H 4Q55O3[W
  2QOO 285Y R843 D9J8HT 9RR 9R Y8J.... sorry, wrong home keys.



  Interview with a usual sysop:

INTERVIEWER:  Dark Emperor, may I call you Joey?

DARK EMPEROR:  My friends call me Slappy the Love Monkey.

I:  Slappy, what do you do with your life?

DE:  Life?  Sorry, never encountered that word.  What's it mean?

I:  Thank you, you allready sated my questioning thirst.

DE:  Uhh... ok.  [Sound of High Pitched Computer Beep in Background]
     OH!  I'm done downloading the Necrobeastialsodomy GIFs... err... I
     meant the shareware version of Wolfenstein 3D... yeah, that's it.

I:  Is there anything else you would like to say to the reading
    audience?

DE:  Yes, call my board at 908-288-1043.

I:  Thank you.

[Enter large nosed Viking holding a stuffed pepper.]

VIKING:  Damn bitch, told you!

[Dark "Slappy the Love Monkey" Emperor takes pepper and rubs it all over
 his crotch.  After finishing this act he starts singing "God Save the
 Queen" (Sadly enough, it wasn't the Sex Pistols version) and
 spontaniously explodes.]

I:  Now wasn't that special.  Now for our next (and much more talented
    and pleasing) guest, Barney!

BARNEY:  Hello boys and girls, today we'll...

[Rambo enters from the right and shoots Barney dead]

I:  Thank you very much... is there anything that you want to say to the
    audience?

RAMBO:  Yo... uh... Adrian!

ADRIAN:  Rocky!

RAMBO:  Adrian!

ADRIAN: Rocky!

RAMBO:  Adrian!

ADRIAN: Rocky!

RAMBO:  Adrian!

ADRIAN: Rocky!

RAMBO:  Adrian!

ADRIAN: Rocky!

[Promptly, the whole world goes blank for I don't know where to go from
 here.]



                      THIS WORD IS DEDICATED TO PANTHER

                                  (mailbox)


  That is it for THO #35.  Peace, we out.


                  

aND NoW a WoRD FRoM ouR SPoNSoRS...


                  
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                  ?                                    ?
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            ????????? ? ?? ?  ? ?  ? ? ?? ????   ?   ?????????
            ? ?   ?   ???? ???? ???? ? ?? ????   ?     ?   ? ?
            ? ?     ?     The TextFile Network       ?     ? ?
            ??????????????????????????????????????????????????
        ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
        ??????????  ??????????????????????????????????   ??????????
        ??????????     Phoenix Modernz Systems Inc.      ??????????
        ??????????                                       ??????????
        ?    [Node 1]> 908-830-7786 / 908-262-9443 Supra 14.4     ?
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                ????????????????????????????????
                ?    The Obloid Sphere BBS     ?
                ????????????????????????????????
                ? ? Running Renegade 1/02      ?
                ? ? [MiLK] World Headquarters  ?
                ? ? Official BLaH <sigh>T      ?
                ? ? 14.4 v32 Viva              ?
                ? ? Text Files Galore          ?
                ? ? THO Distribution Sight     ?
                ? ? [708]965-3098              ?
                ????????????????????????????????
                ?                              ?
                ?                              ?



         ?              ? The Land of Rape and Honey ?                ?
       ??                   [MiLK/THO/FuHD/TLS]                        ??
       ?                                                                 ?
      ??                       SysGod: Rattle        ?                   ??
      ???             ??       9600-28.8k USR       ??                 ???
   ?    ???           ??   NUP:  FAITH COLLAPSING  ???               ???     ?
   ?                                                    ??  ??              ??
    ???         ??   ?????????  ????????????????????????????????????    ?????
     ?????????????????       ???? ?????              ???    ??????????????
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                   ????? ? ?? ???  ??? ?? ??????????
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               ???????????????????????????????? ?  ????????
               ??????     ???????????????????????   ??????
                           ??????????? ??????????
                           ?? ?????? ? ???? ????
     AIMnet 609 Host:      ??  ??  ?   ?? ? ? ??         GRiMnet 609 Hub:
        166:1609/0          ??  ?            ??            26:4609/1 /0
                             ?               ?


   
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     ???   ??????? ??   ??      ??   ??  ??  ??????    ???   ??   ?? ??   ??
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                  ??????? ???? ??????? ??????? ???????
                  ??????   ??    ???   ??????  ??????
                   ??????  ??    ???   ??????   ??????
                  ??????? ????   ???   ??????? ???????

                            WHQ - Asylum - WHQ
                              SysOp: Panther
                               9o8?914?9318
                                2400-14.4k
                             34o Megz OnLine
                                  CD-ROM
                             NUP: I LOVE FEDS



                            DISTROBUTION SITES

                   Sports Authority BBS   (9o8)341?2416
                             SysOp: Gl?rified G
                     'Jersey's only Sports Orientated
                     BBS that I know of!  Call today!


                  Land of Rape and Honey   (6o9)698?1358
                              9600-28.8k USR
                               SysOp: Rattle
                    One of the last 'sp3cial' BBSes in
                        its area.  CD-ROM  H/P/V/A 
                           NUP: FAITH COLLAPSING

                   Violent Playground     (9o8)92o-2725
                            SysOp: Ffejtable?
                   2.6 GIGS!  2 dialdown nodes, CD-ROM,
                    New User Voting.  Home of FfejWare

                    Obloid Sphere        (7o8)965-3o98
                           SysOp: James Hetfield
                                Chicago HQ
                                 MiLK WHQ

                   Phoenix Modernz Systems (9o8)830-7786
                              SysOp: Tal Meta
                   THE text file board!  Home of GODnet.
                  345 megs allmost full of archived text!


             (Seems like everyone and their brother has a CD-ROM)