💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › THO › tho031.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 14:43:27.
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The 10 Minute Text File
or
The Golden Fleece
-By James Hetfield [MiLK]
Well, I've always wanted to broaden my horizons a little, so I
decided to try to get into the little Tfile group THO out here in NJ.
I'm James Hetfield from the Chicagoland Area, and I have my own Tfile
group, [MiLK]. But that's besides the point. The Point Is:
The Golden Fleece.
You see, I was walking home one day pondering the Golden Fleece
of Greek Myth and Legend. And I was wondering... what if the Golden
Fleece was just a Grease Monkey's Rag that he had pissed on and gotten
motor oil on too many times? I mean, that would make it Golden, right?
And what if The Greeks and Romans and all those other old faggots who
were dying of lead poisoning, and half crazy, had drank a little too
much nectar that day and just saw this rag lying on the floor? They'd
think it's one nifty thing, right? And what if, just say, what if,
there was this Grease Monkey in hit Hot Rod that had an open engine that
was shooting flames? Hmm? What then? The faggot drunk Greek boys might
believe that this is some kind of mythical beast, like a dragon or something.
Therefore, it was my opinion, since the ancient Greeks and Romans
were all lead poisoned, faggot, drunk bastards who walked around half naked,
little things like oily rags and Hot Rods may have seemed like strange
enchanting mythical beasts and items. That's my theory.
I have other theories, too. Want me to share them? If not, too
fucking bad, you're still reading the file.
I believe the world should be covered with cornfields. I don't like
cornfields too much, and I'm not a big fan of Corn, although corn on the cob
is a treat, not a big enough fan to say that's the reason that cornfields
should cover the entire earth, however. And even though popcorn is nice too,
The entire Earth should be covered with cornfields, which means there would
be no room for stoves or microwaves to pop the popcorn. So why, do you ask,
do I think the entire world should be covered with cornfields? Maybe my
next paragraph will help explain this fact.
I believe the children are our future. Molest them now and let
them lead the way. Show them all (literally) all the beauty they possess
inside. Because the greatest love ... is happening to me. And it will
happen to you, if I can get my handles on you.
Did that explain my point well enough? Well, if not, ask one of
your friends that you find a bit off the rocker. Maybe they can see the
tragic insight that you are missing.
And now, for your viewing pleasure, a drawing I made right in
my DOS Editor! I call it: Stickman!
O Stickman is wearing the latest in stick figure clothing.
\|/ His stick shirt comes directly from Ralph Monsuave, Inc.
| And Hey, are those Bugle Boy Jeans he's wearing?
/ \
Why Yes, They Are.
----
I just decided now I was going to share with you my favorite noise.
Take any good looking 11-29 Female you know, a long blunt object, and ram
it up her crotch. The younger the female, the more pleasureable the noise
tends to be.
Maybe that's just one of my little fetishes.
-----
A Poem: By James Hetfield: "Press ALT to Activate Menus"
MS-DOS Editor
<F1=Help>
Press Alt to activate menus, they say
but alt brings up the Desqview Window
Confused, I take my slegehammer
And I slam my fucking CPU monitor
That'll teach it!
Damn Bitch, told you!
----
Cecil the Hormonal 9 Year old says "Fuck me hard, Paperboy!"
aND NoW a WoRD FRoM ouR SPoNSoRS...
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? ? ? ???? ???? ???? ? ?? ???? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? The TextFile Network ? ? ?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????? ?????????????????????????????????? ??????????
?????????? Phoenix Modernz Systems Inc. ??????????
?????????? ??????????
? [Node 1]> 908-830-7786 / 908-262-9443 Supra 14.4 ?
? [Node 2]> 908-830-8265 / 908-270-2783 USR D/S 16.8 ?
? GODNet Solar System Host 143:143/1 ?
? ITC_Net Node 85:862/250 ?
? P.O.D.S.Net Node 93:9305/143 ?
? RPGNet Node 100:1908/0 ?
? FREQ "FILES" for a complete list of all downloadable ?
? TextFiles available from this system. FREQ's available ?
? 24 Hours a day! ?
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????? ?? ?? ??????? ??????? ???? ??????? ??????? ??????? ???????
??? ??????? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?????? ??? ?? ?? ?? ??
??? ??????? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?????? ??? ?????? ?? ??
??? ?? ?? ??????? ??????? ???? ??????? ??? ?? ??? ???????
??????? ???? ??????? ??????? ???????
?????? ?? ??? ?????? ??????
?????? ?? ??? ?????? ??????
??????? ???? ??? ??????? ???????
WHQ - Asylum - WHQ
SysOp: Panther
9o8?914?9318
2400-14.4k
34o Megz OnLine
CD-ROM
NUP: I LOVE FEDS
DISTROBUTION SITES
Sports Authority BBS (9o8)341?2416
SysOp: Gl?rified G
'Jersey's only Sports Orientated
BBS that I know of! Call today!
Land of Rape and Honey (6o9)698?1358
SysOp: Rattle
One of the last 'sp3cial' BBSes in
its area. NUP: RAPE
Violent Playground (9o8)92o-2725
SysOp: Ffejtable?
2.6 GIGS! 2 dialdown nodes, CD-ROM,
New User Voting. Home of FfejWare
Obloid Sphere (7o8)965-3o98
SysOp: James Hetfield
Chicago HQ
MiLK WHQ
Phoenix Modernz Systems (9o8)830-7786
SysOp: Tal Meta
THE text file board! Home of GODnet.
345 megs allmost full of archived text!
aND NoW a WoRD FRoM ouR SPoNSoRS...
??????????????????????????????????????
? ?
? ??? ? ???? ? ?
??????? ? ???? ???? ? ?? ???? ????? ???????
????????? ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ?? ???? ? ?????????
? ? ? ???? ???? ???? ? ?? ???? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? The TextFile Network ? ? ?
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????? ?????????????????????????????????? ??????????
?????????? Phoenix Modernz Systems Inc. ??????????
?????????? ??????????
? [Node 1]> 908-830-7786 / 908-262-9443 Supra 14.4 ?
? [Node 2]> 908-830-8265 / 908-270-2783 USR D/S 16.8 ?
? GODNet Solar System Host 143:143/1 ?
? ITC_Net Node 85:862/250 ?
? P.O.D.S.Net Node 93:9305/143 ?
? RPGNet Node 100:1908/0 ?
? FREQ "FILES" for a complete list of all downloadable ?
? TextFiles available from this system. FREQ's available ?
? 24 Hours a day! ?
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????? ?? ?? ??????? ??????? ???? ??????? ??????? ??????? ???????
??? ??????? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?????? ??? ?? ?? ?? ??
??? ??????? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?????? ??? ?????? ?? ??
??? ?? ?? ??????? ??????? ???? ??????? ??? ?? ??? ???????
??????? ???? ??????? ??????? ???????
?????? ?? ??? ?????? ??????
?????? ?? ??? ?????? ??????
??????? ???? ??? ??????? ???????
WHQ - Asylum - WHQ
SysOp: Panther
9o8?914?9318
2400-14.4k
34o Megz OnLine
CD-ROM
NUP: I LOVE FEDS
DISTROBUTION SITES
Sports Authority BBS (9o8)341?2416
SysOp: Gl?rified G
'Jersey's only Sports Orientated
BBS that I know of! Call today!
Land of Rape and Honey (6o9)698?1358
SysOp: Rattle
One of the last 'sp3cial' BBSes in
its area. NUP: RAPE
Violent Playground (9o8)92o-2725
SysOp: Ffejtable?
2.6 GIGS! 2 dialdown nodes, CD-ROM,
New User Voting. Home of FfejWare
Obloid Sphere (7o8)965-3o98
SysOp: James Hetfield
Chicago HQ
MiLK WHQ
Phoenix Modernz Systems (9o8)830-7786
SysOp: Tal Meta
THE text file board! Home of GODnet.
345 megs allmost full of archived text!