💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › THO › tho023.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 14:43:10.
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Hey there!!!! In this issue of THO we shall discuss the 10
commandments of TEXT WRITING!!! Yes folks, we need to tell you how
and what you should write about because you, an aspireing young text
writer, don't really know what to do with yourself and need a little
guidance. With each commandment is a side comment that tells you what
it really really means.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF TEXT FILE WRITING
1) Thou shalt not write about yourself, your life, or anything that
has happened to you (unless it's extroidinarily funny) for no one
wants to hear about you.
[Don't write about anything to do with you because modeming is not
there to have you use it to share your feelings. You can't hide
it for long if one of your texts are a 'diary' because once
someone reads it (at least the first paragraph) they shall wisely
warn the others so that they can avoid the torture of your pitiful
life. A friend of mine, let's call him Rehtnap, started his own
text group just so that he could write and tell everyone how he
feels (it's ok to get in contact with yourself, just don't do it
in public) and tried to disguise it by calling it "Feelin' the
Effects', once everyone was warned the Tfile wasn't d/led more
than three times.]
2) Thou shalt write with great grammer and spelling.
[Even the smartest Geek can make himself look like an asshole by
breaking this commandment.]
3) Thou shalt write humorously or informatively or not write at all.
[Have you ever enjoyed a TXT file that didn't make you laugh or
tell you something that you wanted to know??? I didn't think so.]
4) Thou shalt write only after sacrificing a bag full of kittens.
[Don't ask me about this one, but it definitely works for me.]
5) Thou shalt write in HARD text.
[This text file is in hard text. Soft text is the kind that just
scribbles across the bottom of your screen without any carriage
returns. Isn't that annoying??? You can fix that tho by going
into dos editor and saving the file again.]
6) Thou shalt write about something that you have some first hand
knowledge about.
[I hate the term, but I'll use it anyway. LAMER!!! You only make
yourself a fool by writing about something that you have no idea
how to do it. Let's say that someone called Noisuf wrote about
Gnikaerhp, one of the more illegal things to do. Noisuf has no
idea what the hell he's talking about, but he calls it Gnikaerhp
none the less. Noisuf makes himself out to be an idiot rather
quickly when asked a question on the subject, but instead of
replying intelliginetly he decides to flame someone because of his
lack of knowledge. I wish I could hit people like that.]
7) Thou shalt write only with neat ASCII headers.
[Nice headers a text file doesn't make, but they make a text
really neat looking on the intro. Now if you can get an ANSI
screen to come up without it pausing with the -- More -- in the
middle of it, then you qualify as cool in my book. It's hard as
hell!]
8) Thou shalt write with thine own words.
[Ripping off someone else's text is really really pathetic. Make
something by yourself and you'll be much happier that you'd
normally be, and you can't get caught for it.]
9) Thou shalt write with a disclaimer if nessesary.
[If you make a text about something illegal, then you really
should make a little disclaimer stating that the Tfile is for
entertainment and informative uses only. Otherwise you could get
into a little tangle with the men in blue if some kid blows his
face off with an explosive you told him how to make.]
10) Thou shalt write and spread your text around to as many boards as
you are able.
[Your writings won't be known by anyone unless you spread it
around as much as you possibly can. What's the point of uploading
it to a board if that's the only board that you can get your hands
on it? Let your word be HEARD!]