💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › THO › tho016.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 14:42:56.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Hidden Obvious #16
The Million Dollar Question!
By Pip the Angry Youth
Well, you may be asking me "What the hell is `The Million Dollar
Question!?'" Well, The Million Dollar Question! is this:
WHICH SODA IS BETTER, PEPSI OR COCA-COLA?
I (out of sheer boredom) have decided that they are just as good, I
don't mean that they are the same, but they rate about the same on my
chart. In this issue of THO, Pepsi and Coke take the Pip Challenge.
PEPSI
Pros
1) Tastes good warm
2) Carbonation isn't overpowering
3) Doesn't try to fool you on the 'Serving Size'
4) No fat (but wait for the CALORIES in the cons!)
5) Has a 1-8OO line (I'll tell you it later)
Cons
1) 15O CALORIES!!!
2) No protein
3) More additives than Coke
5) Plastic bottle is hard to get out of fridge.
6) NOT MADE OF 1OO% RECYCLED MATERIALS (Bad Pepsi, BAD BAD!)
8) Will rot your teeth faster than Coke
COCA-COLA
Pros
1) Really great for belching.
2) Lower Sugar
3) 1-8OO line
4) Plastic bottle is easy to take out of fridge.
Cons
1) Strong Carbonation
2) Smaller serving size (makes it harder to judge what's actually in
there)
3) 15O CALORIES!!!
4) No protein
5) Asks you to recycle, but doesn't do it itself.
Another thing that I have found is that Coke has an 8 oz serving size
and Pepsi has a 12 oz serving size, so this makes it rather hard to
see who is better, but lucky me, I happen to have a calculator handy.
REAL NUTRITION INFORMATION
COKE PEPSI
________________________________________________________
Calories 15O 15O
Fat Og Og
Carbohydrates 41g 41g
Sugars 41g 41g
Sodium (Salt) 53g 35g
Protein Og Og
** ALL INFORMATION IS BASED ON A 12oz SERVING SIZE **
** WHERE NESSESARY, I ROUNDED THE NUMBERS TO THE **
** NEAREST GRAM **
Well, you can clearly see that Coke and Pepsi are tied in every thing
except for the big 'S', SALT!!! Coke has 33% more salt in it than
Pepsi. Keep in mind tho, salt doesn't affect your blood pressure in
any way unless you allready have a blood pressure problem. So you
people out there be weary.
INGREDIENTS
Well, the ingredients of Coke and Pepsi are pretty straight forward.
None of that Twinkie BS there. Every word in there is under 4
syllables (sp?), the largest word there being CARBONATED. Enough
babbling, here are the ingredients.
COKE
CARBONATED WATER, HIGH FRUCTCOSE CORN SYRUP AND/OR SUCROSE, CARAMEL
COLOR, PHOSPHORIC ACID, NATRUAL FLAVORS, CAFFEINE.
PEPSI
CARBONATED WATER, HIGH FRUCTCOSE CORN SYRUP AND/OR SUGAR, CARAMEL
COLOR, PHOSPHORIC ACID, CAFFEINE, CITRIC ACID, NATRUAL FLAVORS.
Well, Pepsi has an extra acid in there, so that's why it'll rot your
teeth alot faster. Coke tries to fool you with the word 'Sucrose' in
its ingredients but I'm no fool. Coke also tries to fool you about
its sodium content, on the top of the bottle right above the nutrition
information it says "VERY LOW SODIUM" yet it has 33% more salt in it
than Pepsi <SNIFF SNIFF, do I smell bullshit?>. None the less, I feel
that Cranberry Juice wins the Pip challenge, 100% natural, no additives,
and it doesn't spend anywhere near as much on advertizing. One more
observation, if Coke wants you to recycle so badly, how come it says
"NO REFILL" on the bottle? Jerks.
Questions? Comments? Please call the following numbers.
Pepsi 1-8OO-433-2652
Coke 1-8OO-438-2653
Asylum 1-9O8-914-9318 NUP : I LOVE FEDS
(=--------------------------------------------------------------------=)
Hope you enjoyed the Pip challenge. How would you like to be a
writer for THO? Call up the Asylum or you can Email Pip the Angry
Youth at the GODnet address of 143/143:1. Hope to hear from you.
Peace,
Pip the Angry Youth