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         .  .  .  .      .  .  .  .  .     .  .  .  .  .  .  .
         -  -  -  -      -  -  -  -  -     -  -  -  -  -  -  -
         S  A  N  D      R  I  V  E  R     J  O  U  R  N  A  L
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         .  .  .  .      .  .  .  .  .     .  .  .  .  .  .  .


  Welcome to the Sand River Journal.  Our goal is to provide a proper setting 
for some of the better poetry posted to the newsgroup rec.arts.poems.  We aim 
at an objective standard, if such exists for poetry, but also strive to include 
diverse voices, not excluding our own work.  We regret an error made in the
initial posting of the ascii version of this issue (labeled "Christmas 1994"). 
A poem by E.L. Van Hine was inadvertently excerpted as it had first appeared in 
rec.arts.poems, instead of being reproduced in its entirety.  The error does
not appear in any PostScript document; this corrected ascii version of Issue 12 
replaces the earlier version in our archives. 
  Sand River Journal is posted in ascii and PostScript formats to r.a.p and 
related groups, and is archived at etext.archive.umich.edu/pub/Poetry.  It 
is composed of poems previously appearing in our newsgroup.  The PostScript 
version features high-quality typesetting and is well worth printing to 
hardcopy and sharing.  Poems appear by authors' permission and constitute 
copyrighted material; we claim ownership only to any poems we have authored.  
Special thanks to Jenn Hemphill and Karen Tellefsen for helping to solicit 
poems for this issue.  Enjoy! 

			Erik Asphaug (asphaug@lpl.arizona.edu) 
		        John Adam Kaune (jkaune@trentu.ca)



		 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
		  Issue 12  -  New Year's Day 1995
		 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	
          	-----------
          	mixed media
          	-----------

     	I want my poetry
     	written on the blue
     	damned sparkling sky
     	biplaned against the
     	ozone while brass
     	bands play anthems and
     	the mayor rants on

     	written wide and large
     	in no wind so that
     	god herself can look
     	down and say
     	even upside down
     	and backwards it still
     	looks good
     	to me

     	and if a letter
     	drifts away on a
     	stray breeze
     	will place it back
     	with a gentle
     	godly hand

     	but for now
     	one of your crappy
     	xeroxed chaps with
     	my name on it
     	would be nice as hell
     	give me something
     	to sell at slams
     	and readings might
     	even get me
     	laid god
     	yes

     	and I do
     	love your
     	small
     	press
		

               		michael mcneilley
               		mmichael@halcyon.com


          	--------
          	untitled
          	--------

     	She was
     	no pink ostrich feather falling from a steeple
     	finished but for the dust in the light
     	She was
     	a pickled baby in a mayonnaise jar
     	no ma no ma no
	
     	She was
     	a fat whore taped shut
     	by big boys
     	on Saturday night
     	Hey, you know,
     	she had no right to be there-
     	no right at all
	
     	She used to be
     	the echo of a butterfly
     	Not no perfume
     	lippy-sticky suck skin
     	Not no
     	feather falling
     	fat whore taped shut
	
     	She used to be
     	a green walnut wiggly-worm
     	and the sigh of a puf-puf pigeon on a fence
     	Now she is a flower-
     	a step-on weed flower
	

               		Liz Farrell
               		efarrell@ossi.com


          	----------
          	priesthood
          	----------
	     
     	dreams filter into this universe of steel and grit
     	breezes intrude from beyond this randon arrangement
     	of concrete spires and dulled clouds
     	we spurn the ancestral songs  of warm winds
     	and fragrant scents      residues
     	in the anagrams of our ancient souls
		
    	does the priesthood of particles and molecules
     	reserve for us a single choice     can we not chase
     	fractals and monarchs with dream-catchers
     	having witnessed the precarious dance of atoms
     	can we ever again
     	write poetry

		
               		zita marie evensen	
               		ac869@freenet.hsc.colorado.edu

	
		----------------------
		A field guide to birds
		----------------------
 
	Below the wide window of the dining room
	is spread the slant roof of the well-house.
	The previous owners kept cracked corn there
	through twenty winters, and the birds
	came to rely on it. We thought they ought
	to live more wild, and so we did refrain
	awhile. The birds came to the empty roof
	and stood about, cranking their small heads
	to look with first one eye and then the other
	into the house; had their gods abandoned them?
	I stopped by the seed and feed, and picked up
	a ten pound bag. A handful on the roof
	brought instant jubilation. Each day
	first come the juncos in their black hoods,
	perched taut and wary in the lilac bush; then
	one by one they dart for a choice bit
	and retreat, cracking and dribbling hulls.
	They are followed by field sparrows in red
	caps, and rose-colored purple finches.
	Black-capped chickadees appear when these
	have gone, and heavy-bodied mourning doves
	crash and scatter them, and bob like gulls
	on a green beach. None can dislodge the doves
	but jays: scrub and Stellar's. I tell
	the children of the habits of jays, stealers
	of eggs, bullies. The middle child hates
	injustice, and claims he will shoot the jays,
	so I tell him a story: in Georgia, when I
	was young, I watched a cat catch a robin.
	The robin fluttered and cried, and the cat
	clamped down, muscles bulked. A mockingbird
	flew low and strafed, and the cat missed a hold.
	The robin crawled off, trailing breakage.
	The cat pounced again. The mockingbird
	perched nearby, screaming. A male cardinal,
	biggest I had ever seen, parrot-bright,
	flew in from nowhere and landed, wings outspread
	almost in the cat's face, and began,
	one wing down, the dance of bird mothers
	who hope to divert cats from nestlings.
	The cat dropped the robin and went
	for the cardinal, missing by a whisker.
	This was repeated many times, but the robin
	was dying, so the cardinal had in the end
	to give it up. But I have never forgotten
	that strange unequal battle, and a bird
	that would so risk life for another species.
	The boy seems unimpressed. I add: the cardinal
	is a jay. He gets it: life is not so simple
	as its known and quantified habits. Out there
	on the well-house roof, or in our own lives,
	or anywhere, bad we can expect, but good,
	if rare, comes also, and so we scatter 
	seed, and then sit by the window and wait.
	 

			Richard Bear
			rbear@oregon.uoregon.edu
	 

          	----------
          	Sandy Hook
          	----------
     
     	New York skyline,
     	flotsam garbage,
     	naked bathers
     	in October.

     	Brooklynites
     	with sunburn noses
     	combing sand
     	for missing baubles.

     	Weathered bunkers,
     	missing missiles,
     	cold-war relics
     	in decay.

     	Holly trees and
     	browsed-on cacti.
     	Styrofoam and
     	cockle shells.

               		Karen Tellefsen
               		kat@ritz.mordor.com



          	--------------
          	Mourning Light
          	--------------

     	The bitter residue of dreams
     	still upon me
     	I weep at fading visions
     	of beauty

        	       dan graves
        	       dan@skipper.berkeley.edu


          	--------------
          	Triangle Power
          	--------------

     	the cable slopes
     	from oak to oak
     	casts a long
     	afternoon shadow
     	on the shifting grasses
     	treetop creaks
     	with holding me
     	sways in the fall's
     	first breezes
     
     	triangle's iron
     	in preflight palms
     	hands spasm
     	in damp fear
     	that precedes
     	the leap
     
     	once in a dream
     	i touched thumb to thumb
     	leaning fingers inward
     	two triangles placed
     	against my head

     	i stared across the base
     	into a sliver moon
     	when the buzzing
     	seized me
     	my body hummed
     	with rhythms
     	of new found power
     	rising from the quiet earth


               		Jody Upshaw
               		jupshaw@hfm.com



          	---------------
          	days like these
          	---------------

     	on days like these
     	when the chatter never ends
     	my son yells, "where you at?"
     	and when i ask
     	he tells me he's afraid of the sky
     
     	it is too big too vast
     	to keep an eye on to always see allways
     	and a thistle in the weeds i pull
     	draws my blood and me
     	closer whispering
     	it isn't only your back that remains behind
     	you can't see through our sky

			     
               		Karen Hussey
               		ai500@freenet.carleton.ca


          	---------------
          	Cats and Fishes
          	---------------

     	under the sumac shade
     	i sit by the sun-dappled pond
     	watching the goldfish break
     	the surface
     	feeding
	
     	the little ones darting
     	here and there
     	trying to break off small pieces
     	the big ones opening huge maws
     	engulfing
	
     	the cat sits hunched
     	on the rocks
     	tail twitching
     	waiting
     	watching for an opportunity

     	the canny goldfish know
     	that cats hate water


               		Marguerite K.A. Petersen
               		petersm@csos.orst.edu


          	-----------------
          	bugle (call) girl
          	-----------------

     	rings.  i want real roses.  silver heels.
     	tap taps -- legs march -- steps stepped home.
     	hips swish -- unprivate shimmy -- little girl squeals.
     	composes.  arms support.  elbows form blithe
     	love triangles.  shoulders square.  chokered neck
     	painted face fake fake hairish stuff.
     	position.  set.  play.
	
     	C-E-G-C.  i want fingers for my rings.
     	i like F.  once i had them but i lost my lips.
     	i'm bereft bereft.  i like lips.  they part they
     	close they shape 3-D.  i go half-lipped.  snip.

     	i lost F.  i lost C-E-G-C.  i fake it.
     	i want music.  strike my notes -- resemble F but
     	fall half-assed on E i dote.  half of me.

     	i want him to wake before i leave.  maybe he will
     	write or play or make his sound.  he neither wore
     	nor offered rings.  he is many.  i lack lips with
     	which they taunt.  but do not use.  i want back
     	my trumpet.  whole my notes.
     	
     	back i want rings.


              		Heather L. Igert
              	 	hli893s@nic.smsu.edu


          	-------------------
          	The Last Hitchhiker
          	-------------------

     	The last hitchhiker before town,
     	a pony-tailed Jesus with a sign
     	wavers wickedly in the door-panel.
     	*Galway, Ireland? Is that what you mean?*
     	As he leans through the cocked side-window
     	an inch-to-the-mile map spreads from his side
	
     	and a long, dirty fingernail pierces a bay.
     	Yes, I like the cut of you, hitchhiker, hijacker,
     	you may lay your backpack inside my hatchback,
     	let your sleeping-bag roll on the back-seat
     	as the exhaust-pipe opens its flyblown parachute.
		
     	One by one, the road-signs flicker by
     	and we sleepwalk under the skin of a car,
     	passing the lay-by, the drive-in eatery,
     	the scrapyard where lifting-cranes
     	scrunch up spent engines
     	and a bald-headed man pursues with vigoour
     	the hare-lipped, shirt-tailed assassin.
		

               		john redmond
               		jredmond@vax.ox.ac.uk


       		---------------
          	untitled memory
          	---------------

     	my earliest recollection:
     	watercolors dabbed haphazardly
     	about a paper napkin.
     	that day the blurred horizon
     	had no vanishing point - a sky of suns
     	that danced in a circle,
     	singing songs I could no longer remember.
     	in my bow tie and Sunday shoes,
     	I never cried when I was told.
     	the birds were silent then,
     	hovering above while I counted each one.
     	they had no names, yet they all knew me -
     	they watched while I played in the sand after dark.
     	they scattered when my name was called,
     	the floodlight's reflection still shimmering
     	in the pool on the other side of the fence.
     	inside, the halls were narrow,
     	casting shadows at impossible angles.
     	I stared at my fingers
     	while water washed the sand away,
     	a clockwise swirl against the blue porcelain.
     	then, the long march.
     	fighting sleep, the contours of night
     	assembled behind the billowing curtains,
     	laying the toy soldiers to rest.

			
	       		Paul David Mena
               		mena@hydra.cray.com


          	-----------
          	how it came
          	-----------

     	it was like rain.  though the writer from cosmo says
     	falling in love is like falling in a puddle
     	last night it was like falling rain.
	
	like this:  it is a sunday in july and i am under an awning.
     	i am dry but the yellow sky--
     	the yellow yellow sky--
     	it deceives me and i leave my awning to find dew
     	on my skin in my hair on my eyes.
     	it fills the yellow sky and i am wet.
     	this is rain.

     	and that is how it came.

		
               		JJHemphill
               		shilo@uiuc.edu
     

          	----------------
          	Becomes a Geisha
          	----------------

     	Small face finely burnished,   
	Delicate glaze.  Her smile 
	holds forever.
     	Can her jade-lidded eyes
     	arrest her descent to despair?
		
               		Thomas Bell
               		tbjn@well.sf.ca.us


          	-------------------------
          	He Bids His Love Lie Down
          	-------------------------
     
     	I bade my love lie down amidst
     	the purple amaranth
     	and keep her troubled soul at rest
     	from heartless circumstance.
	
    	How gently did I wipe the drops
     	of dew that were her tears
     	and round her, I enwrapped my arms
     	to comfort all her fears.

     	My heart thus died a trembling death
     	resolving not to kiss her,
     	I pressed my lips into her hair and
     	voiced a sorrowed whisper.

     	My love, my love, weep not for us.
     	Be not o'erly vexed.
     	While in this life we cannot love
     	We surely will the next.
		

               		Scott Cudmore
               		scudmore@peinet.pe.ca

	
          	--------
          	canon 36
          	--------

     	and here my trip ends
     	and it is season for sticking shelducks
     	goosefat broils and the women crouch to their hominy works
     	here is sedge for the tufted marsh
     	a throne stock for the saints
     	where the bull mires and the magpie jags on the quickwood
		
     	Umbria! Tuscany! last lands with hyssop for my homecoming drink
     	caserns overrun by goats, broken pillars
     	ruins of altars, chancel-full of snakes
     	terrible animals all of marble mossed:
     	St Francis in the carob, St Justin in the bunchberry
     	and the remnants of the masters' gargoyles of the mouflon
     	and the horse

    	 and here my trip ends
     	with behind me the forest in a soakage of psalms
     	canticles, madrigals, and poems spent in vain marking the Delphic track
     	villagers draft me as your washer of stones
     	your cleaner of plinths and marbles
     	and with a heather broom leave me cleaning after these stumbled loves
	
     	cleaning after the butchers' pelage
     	the revel's wreckage, the driven packs
     	and the duels and the killings and the wayward doggery
     	cleaning after the daydone jobbers
     	who carol lewd their drunk homeward trek
     	pissing on the high road once and once on the church's wall

		
               		Edgar Y. Choueiri
               		choueiri@princeton.edu


          	-------------------------------
          	portrait in blonde and smarties
          	-------------------------------
     
     	i am blonde.  very blonde.  when i go to the sea it
		
     	goes white-silver.  my eyes go bright blue.  i have a very
     	sexy body.  i have been told i have perfect breasts.

     	a dyed old wedding-dress sounds purrrr-fect.
     	it will make me purr.

     	okay, you don't have to shave your beard off.
     	but you do have to wash my hair, feed me canadian
     	whisky and read long paragraphs from garcia marquez.
     	then you will not fuck me senseless.
     	we will fuck each other senslessly fuckless,
     	breathlessly staccato.

     	i made a dash out to a cafe and bought strawberry
     	centred smarties.
		
     	i am blonde.  very blonde.
		

               		Helen Walne / Marek Lugowski
               		marek@mcs.com


          	-----------
          	male father
          	-----------
     
     	fully dangerous
     	he is the hot pistol
     	that amazed my mother
     	and he is looking at me right now
     	laughing as i try
     	to find a way
     	to impress you

     	men of the life of my father
     	i invoke your names
     	in fear and distaste and respect
     	i am slipping again into
     	shotguns and dead animals
     	around fires and whiskey
	
     	the dream is of taking
     	that shotgun to your
     	football helmet
     	to your aftershave
     	to your knives and boots
     	and goddamn jokes about
     	sex and woman

     	but i want another hug
     	furry with body hair
     	and caution

		
               		Ray Heinrich
               		heinrich@va.stratus.com


          	-------------
          	The Space Age
          	-------------

     	Bony sidewalk was our daybreak gangplank,
     	humming launch pad, historic surly speedway.
     	Brother's chalk was a hacking cough
     	of hieroglyphs and racing stripes.
     	When crayola failed us, we'd just roll over,
     	surprising the numb-still grass.
     	
     	It was the space age:
     	We kept an eye
     	on the powder sky
     	for satellites and sudden flashes.
     	The tiniest metal jets drew rigid lines,
     	floating from the west--we turned
     	
    	them into messages from
     	the rounded silver future.
     	We didn't read mythology.
     	We had our own versions of magnificence:
     	TV test patterns, invisible Russians,
     	the suburban planners' sleepless grid
     
     	and the prayers of every
     	white-coated Sunday morn.
     	Our busy boy-silences pounded the sidewalk
     	more superbly than any book could promise ...
     	Then one time
     	the blanketed vet across the way

     	dragged by in the morning orange,
     	a melting detonator in his head,
     	doing the mental math it took
     	to make the last 20 years come out right.
     	After that, he was always our library of
     	collected sounds, fabulist of solidest earth.
     		

               		Paul Raymond Waddle
               		c/o erickson@library.vanderbilt.edu

	
          	-------------------
          	Counting Past a Few
          	-------------------

     	People puppets dangle on pretence
     	Hollow, wooden, mute, mastered by the hands
     	Who irrigate this paper world with word
     	And sketched pools of politic:
     	Boiled essence of a way to be, a line:
     	Countless dots drawn in a necklace
     	Of strung desires.
	
     	      The audience sit staring through the voiceless shells
     	      To the people within, unaware of their skeleton slavery.

     	A cloth of unmade rooms makes the stage
     	A waiting cloak ready for embrace.
     	These puppet players are the days
     	Of a strangling season, ripe with the lines
     	Of breathing anathema.

     	      Caressed by the coat of darkness on their eyes, weaving
     	      A dose of dialogue to tame their ears to sleep, bleeding.

     	"In all your pavement days you will meet me
     	At obscure distance seen through your paranoid eye,
     	Felt by your muffled hand. My saying herd and
     	Flock of looks come to shave your fields bare,
     	Teasing leaves from hanging hope and roots from water.
     	You are rough to my feel, feeling with your hands,
     	Dry to my taste, sucking with your mouth, against
     	My every grain you are the driving plough. I am
     	The way to live, the life to lead, the death to die,
     	The body of fashion, patron saint of people.
     	I am the one who weighs your weightless dreams."

     	"Drink my poison, feel my fist,
     	The days are never more wasted than when they live with me.
     	Your words wither in my barren land,
     	Darkness is never more dull than in my shadow.
     	All your knowing, all your thoughts
     	Turn on the spit of my scorn, writhe
     	In my ignorant heat. Here is hate. There is no
     	Learning love. I am a vacuum of reason in my glee.
     	I am the one who burns your righteous book."

     	"You are like the grazed surface of a lake to me,
     	Crazed and buffeted by your senses wind, whipped
     	Into waves of interest and fascination.
     	My mind is once a noose around the noise, a burial stone
     	Whose eyes forever watch the dead,
     	And once the rapids of a song, a blur of foam
     	Whose eyes are wasted on the world. I am a knife
     	Which trims the living skin from dead.
     	I am the all who don't see and overlook."
		

               		Matt Ford
               		mausr@csv.warwick.ac.uk


          	----------------------
          	Ghost of the Narcissus
          	----------------------

     	Ghost of the Narcissus
     	rotting in a sea-broth,
     	sea-weed stew ---
	
     	Ghost of aching sailor,
     	sea-gull who came picking
     	through his slaughter,

     	Damned upon this blank, huge
     	sea-broth water.
		

               		Erik Asphaug
               		asphaug@lpl.arizona.edu

		
          	--------
          	Untitled
          	--------

      	one ripe tomato	
     	pulls down blackened frostbit vines
     	among fall cabbage

		
               		Michael McNeilley
               		mmichael@halcyon.com


          	----------
          	Olden Daze
          	----------
	
     	When all animals were deer, all strong drink cider,
     	sky was cloud and blue was yellow,
     	prestige was illusion and buxom obedient,
     	grammar was glamour and it was foolish to be nice.
     	
     	Smiles forced older smirks to specialise,
     	all franchised meaning traced back
     	through flattened vowels and metathesis
     	to an unrecorded Swiss account.
     
     	Old deaths quelled and sweltered away,
     	surviving in heraldry and saws until they're dashed to boot,
     	dead metaphors overtaken by the waiting wolf's teeth
     	which became a rake, a frame for candles then a hearse.
     	
     	Our heyday's lightyears from hay or day,
     	and either's got nothing to do with neither either,
     	and there never was any sorrow in sorry and only listless
     	opposites remind us of how things really were.
     		

               		Tim Love
               		tpl@eng.cam.ac.uk
     
	
          	---------
          	purloined
          	---------
     
     	i wanna be isolde.  but i think
     	i'll be a spinster.  i hide behind blue
     	steel bastions -- spinning yarn from dissolving flax.
     	i play with cats who long to be kittens
     	splayed on spinet keys.  i named them with
     	alphabetical euphemisms for lost lovers.
     	t is for my tristan.
		
     	nine bitter lonely lives.  i've wasted three
     	while knitting needles clink time with vinyl-spinning
     	vvagner.  i never sang my aria.  we meow instead a
     	blue-note chorus.  knit one pearl two.  we
     	worship yarn and nap.  but i wanna be isolde.
     
     	my parapets and i know the wiles
     	of pining fond men and dull gnarled yarn.
     	so i claw rats myself -- plink my tunes
     	with furtive paws.  but kings would call me
     	beautiful behind these cold cat eyes if
     	i were isolde.  i'd flitter through noble
     	cathectic lovers.  hey --
     	it's blue skies from here babe.

     	tristan rubs against my leg and purrs.
     	we share tender vittles on weekends.

		
               		Heather L. Igert
               		hli893s@nic.smsu.edu


          	--------
          	untitled
          	--------
	
     	until you look away
     	all that's left is weak
     	hold my hand
    	until its time
    	in time
    	i cannot even speak

     	touch me softer
     	this time slowly
     	i am dying
     	slowly
     	my heart
     	is crying

		
               		Soon Hong
               		hong199@wharton.upenn.edu


		
          	------------
          	fathom seven
          	------------

     	each unseen flicker fortifying his religion
     	he fathoms its presence, but no one yields to his seventh sense
     	emotionally stamped a vagrant by the surplus civilized world
     	he makes this pilgrimage honestly and hourly
     	his eyes burn with anticipation
     	his ears sear with apprehension
     	his mind charred by intuition
     	eventually his expectations drown in his own quandary
     	his reverie extinguished by the invisible ashes of his fantasy
     	They burn his eyes blind
     	They melt his ears deaf
     	They boil his mind numb
     	it is over now
     	alone in his mutilated pathos
     	he lived to die

		
               		Jason Fried
               		fried@gas.uug.arizona.edu


          	-------------------
          	Aux cath\'{e}drales
          	-------------------

     	Des vagues, des vagues des vagues,
     	Celle qui les a envoy\'{e}es du bout du monde,
     	Elle a pris mon \^{a}me et l'am\`{e}ne
     	Jusqu'au fond de sa m\`{e}re ?
     
     	La vague, vague et effac\'{e}e sur les sabres
     	Ils ne savent rien

     		
               		\={O}hara, Kazutaka
               		c20229@cfi.waseda.ac.jp

	
          	----------------
          	Only In The Mind
          	----------------
     
     	rubbing gritty
     	tiny abrasions
     	a face peeled away
     	from a mask beneath
     	carbide sleep particles
     	eroding the eyelids
     	greasy soot blackening
     	the egg white whites
     	of blood shot orbits
     	sand papering away
     	the vitreous bright
     	too smooth clarity
     	with the last glitter
     	of broken diamonds
     	never to be mended
     	rubbed upon marbles
     	wanting to wear away
     	the delicate eyes
     	that never wear away
     	the magic lantern
     	of inner visions
     	that see her
     	as if she is alive
     	more cherished
     	than only in the mind
     	only in yesterday
     	only in any sandcastle
     	we might have built.
			

               		Bob Ezergailis
               		bob.ezergailis@canrem.com

	
          	------------
          	Premenstrual
          	------------

     	I'm so premenstrual
     	it's dripping from my fingers
     	and I really want a cigarrette
     	but then I remember
     	I quit three weeks ago
     	to make my body a temple of God.
     	All this crap of life
     	is driving me
     	unstoppable, uncontrollable, unsatisfied.
     	I wish my lungs
     	were as black as tar,
     	my heart as thick
     	as a mound of mud,
     	and my clothes as smokey
     	as my ex-boyfriend's car.
     	At least then I'd have
     	an excuse for being
     	so damn bitchy
     	instead of this stupid hormone thing.

		
               		Rebecca Peatow
               		beckied@gladstone.uoregon.edu

		
          	-----
          	quill
          	-----

    	hush child
     	sit  sit  on the corner and learn
     	to punctuate and conjugate
     	be still child
     	      listen
     	but do not be heard

     	hush child  do not run about
     	looking for metaphors
     	most of them are tired anyway
     	drafts on first-grade lined newsprint
     	written with fat jumbo pencils
     	do not read like laser print

     	hush  run along   now
     	let the people of the quill
     	chant the mysteries
     	of the words

		
               		zita marie evensen
               		ac869@freenet.hsc.colorado.edu


          	------------------------------
          	Why Benny Went to Windsor Once
          	------------------------------

     	Between you and me
     	here's why
     	Benny went to Windsor once
     	it was late
     	the Windsors dine at eight
     	when Benny told
     	Elizabeth Bowles Mountbatten
     	as one professional to another
     	he loved her
     	doing the Queen Mother
     	and that's why
     	between you and me
     	Benny went to Windsor -- once
		

               		David Bolduc
               		bolduc@forsythe.stanford.edu


         	-------------
          	September Son
          	-------------

     	He came straggling up the road
     	after a night of lowdown and high spirits on Rat Row,
     	his belly full of booze and his head gone to seed,
     	but still good enough to drive a tractor at dawn,
     	the same morning my mother told me
     	with a look of resignation in her eye,
     	"Watch your ways...the Devil's afoot today,"
     	knowing I was ripe at the age when He comes a-knocking,
     	before she sought respite in church and ladies,
     	leaving me behind with idle thoughts and empty rooms,
     	the echo of mantel clocks inching toward my prime,
     	yearning for a taste of future wasted
     	within four walls and murmuring the name
     	of Daddy

			
              		Mark Hallman
              		c/o bolduc@forsythe.stanford.edu

	
          	---------
          	measuring
          	---------
     
     	1.

     	5 inches along the curve
     	or 6 when fully
     	engorged. you make me watch
     	from the corner, eyeing me.
     	all sixteen years of me, measured straight.
     	balled tape measure thrown at me.

     	i+m old enough to understand
     	your battering-ram lessons
     	+dirty, nasty. been a badbad girl+
     	nocuous rantings
     	+bitch. you fucking. cunt.+
     	incestuous innuendos
     	+lovely-lookin, taut,
     	sweet honey nipples
     	you like me. I can tell+

     	you. drive. me. c r a z y.
     	brother.

     	2.

     	I busy myself measuring
     	our tenement flat
     	500 square feet plus
     	a cubby hole i crouch in.
     	figure I could, if I had to
     	survive, bring in some food
     	a peach and Ouzo
     	enough to dizzy me
     	masking the sensation
     	of roaches crawling
     	in and out of holes.

     	3.
	
     	staying up half the night
     	hoping you+ll leave
     	half way through.
     	memorize your steps
     	the left a little harder
     	falling more controlled.
     	drags behind half an inch.
     	a guided missile that+s pursuing
     	your body.

     	crawl into my cubby
     	Ouzo. no peach
     	shadowless. safe.
     	my mind recites things
     	things i understand
     	things i+m not sure i can.
     	anything.
     	for company.

     	holy mary mother
     	of god pray for us
     	sinners now.

     	4.

     	crush an insect skull
     	who scurries my thigh
     	as light filters under
     	door jamb. flick it away.

     	i hear your back slide
     	down cubby hole wall.
     	i think if i look
     	may see your eyeballs
     	searing through
     	support beam.

     	now i lay me down
     	to sleep i pray the
     	lord my soul to keep
     	if i should die before.

     	lost recitation.
     	your voice. tenor.
     	+come out come out wherever you are+
     	your fist knocks asking invitation.

     	i know you measure along the arc
     	--I am measured straight--
     	i crouch further back to escape the curve.

     	5.
	
     	i hold plate glass
     	under nose to feel
     	breath.
     	too little light
     	i touch moisture
     	with fingertip
     	for reassurance.

     	6.

     	i think now
     	you are hardcooking
     	hungry man. meat and something.
     	so much of me, cubby hole me,
     	growls gurgles weeps
     	my lips moisten
     	from tv dinner steam
     	seeping through the door jamb.

     	i imagine you having
     	carrots drenched in
     	butter and for dessert,
     	chocolate pudding.

     	i have plate glass.
     	tape measure.
     	black and blues.
     	semi circle roach motels.
     	Ouzo. peachlessness.

     	7.
		
     	again i feel your breath outside
     	my hole.

     	jailer breathing hungry man breath
     	fogging my thoughts rubbing figure eights
     	on plate glass.
	
     	your breath. it eats me.
     	i cup my lips
     	(now i lay me down to sleep.)
     	encircle round and round my neck
     	(i pray the lord my soul to keep).
     	precariously close to abnormal,
     	with begged whisper i begin...

     	+brother
     	take 500 square feet
     	not a square foot more. leave me a small
     	hole. Ouzo and.

     	peach.+

     		
               		Erica L. Wagner
               		wagnerel@maspo2.mas.yale.edu


          	----------------
          	Breathing Ground
          	----------------

     	The subdued dead are here.
     	The ground--pale ash, broken headstone--lifts and settles
     	with their breathing.
     	Churchbells ring the ancient angelus;
     	the dead slow their breathing, heavy with respect for the old ways.
		
     	Flags, paper ribbons, crinkled bunting;
     	festival trappings flap in the breezes of a late afternoon.
     	Children march to the tune of the Fourth of July.
     	To a father, the bells are quaint, out-of-time.
     	He takes pictures of his little towheaded girl.
     	She marches the grass into the bald ground,
     	slaps a stone marked "Goody, wyfe"
     	with her mini-red white and blue flag.
     	The severe sound frightens the blackbirds,
     	her high voice chanting "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere"
     	and beating time with her flag on the ridge of the headstone.
		
     	Quiet maple leaves swing low in the humid air.
     	Father steps over the grave marker,
     	standing, as if no one else is there,
     	no one bound in little worn out pieces to the ashy, scrubgrassed earth,
     	takes the flag from his daughter and picks her up lightly
     	like leaves.

     	The blackbirds fly low and drop lightly to the ground,
     	careful of the headstones,
     	pecking for seeds in the yellow grass.

		
               		K.E. Krebser
               		krebser@erg.sri.com

     
          	---------------------------------------
          	i will sing with the birds in the trees
          	---------------------------------------

     	                 I
     
     	each year the birds return to sing the same songs
     	yet they are not the same birds

     	the notes must be written in the trees

     	each year leaves paint the trees with the same brilliant colors
     	yet they are not the same leaves

     	since they die, is there nothing to remember?

     	each year my bones wither further
     	they promise to support me only until they find my grave

     	i will sing with the birds in the trees.


     	                II

     	one year the birds returned to sing new songs!
    	look! is there not one unfamiliar feather among them?

     	the notes moor unstaid in the breeze

     	each year leaves canvass the trees with new hues
     	see! how far they can travel before coming to rest!

     	before leaving, they want something to remember

     	each year my heart expands to contain itself
     	a young heart never dies, and i believe this

     	i am singing with the birds in the trees.


     	                III

     	next year the birds should return
     	unless there are no more songs to sing...

     	to sing freely is the bird's only reason for returning

     	next year new leaves will decorate new trees
     	because even the forest cannot last forever

     	old leaves give birth to new trees
     	next year my soul may be a leaf
     	and all of the forests could become my soul

     	i still sing with the birds in the trees.
		

               		John Quill Taylor
               		jqtaylor@hpbs114.boi.hp.com


          	--------
          	untitled
          	--------

     	The odor of dark
     	fur flies out at us. Twisted
     	green pieces rumor
     	the end.  Wizened winter
     	sun speaks ochre blossoms again.
		

               		Thomas Bell
               		tbjn@well.sf.ca.us

	
          	--------------
          	name me latent
          	--------------

     	go-train  Coltrane
     	sentimental loser pain
     	tell me I'm a winner
     	so I get a quick fix

     	hand-held  mind meld
     	strangled with a garter-belt
     	chewin' gum & gettin some
     	I try another trick

     	the writing on the washroom wall
     	says "nirvana = clit"

     	free-fell  dinner bell
     	separate the when from while
     	salivate a little
     	so the rhthym gets quick

     	bland lines  second times
     	fuckit till the ending rhymes
     	offering an answer
     	so you know how I tick
     
     	the writing on the washroom wall
     	says "better"   the writing
     	on the wall says "nirvana = clit"
		

               		John Adam Kaune
               		jkaune@ivory@trentu.ca

		
          	-----------------
          	fear of the known
          	-----------------
     
     	if i could scrape the bedding
     	from my ear,
     	the flecks of tired from my teeth,
     	i might have strength for dying.
     	but i am older now, harder
     	to combine with sleep.
     	another welding into ice.
     	oh, if i could open up my belly,
     	let the frail out and keep just one
     	illusion around my neck.
		

               		hillary joyce
               		haj2@cornell.edu

	
          	-------
          	Magpies
          	-------
     
     	From the birch, the crack of magpies
     	heralds the solstice of junkie dusk.
	
     	Each morning the world is more like tar,
     	but your cold, bloody robes thin my eyes.

     	St. Peter, lecherous old angel,
     	waggles his staff at us

     	and I pluck the down from my husband's head
     	as he rocks beneath the roof.

     	If I loved you, your teeth
     	would tumble from your lips--

     	I'd collect each dark root
     	in my grandmother's porcelain cup.

     	If you loved me, licks from the sun
     	would steal your wife, your prior life.

     	I already see the fraying ships
     	stalk near, disappear, reappear

     	and the torches flash
     	from the reef to my bed

     	and the magpies pick the flesh
     	from collarless mongrels.
		

               		Blake Kritzberg
               		kritzber@ucsuc.colorado.edu


          	-----------
          	marble love
          	-----------
		
     	i fish a cat's eye
     	out of the leather
     	squeeze warm the glass
     	until stiff finger's jerk open
     	dropping the marble to my toes
     	wriggling between over and between
     	kick a little to calves
     	rolling fast now
     	to knees pinch and catch
     	for just a second
     	before letting go
     	to softer white thighs
     	slowing marble progress
     	lost in curls
     	bumping a drawn in breath
     	pushing hips
     	roll over quivering thick thigh
     	slack rubber band skin
     	rolls pink and silver
     	crepe heavy restless hips
     	catching belly button
     	before climbing ribs
     	rebounding on absorbing motion
    	breast to the other and back
    	following fat edge
     	striking collarbone bounce
     	to neck arching back
     	and a quick climb
     	to chin tongue catching
     	glass taste just in time
     	as the marble teases my lips
     	and the taste of me
     	of me clinking teeth
     	as it slides finally
     	inside warm
     	taste of me


               		Karen Hussey
               		ai500@freenet.carleton.ca

		
          	--------------
          	No longer then
          	--------------

     	The city is an open grave.
     	All the streets howl with a call for the dead.
     	The bare earth lies like a blank page on which
     	No cross or dot is ever drawn.
     	Never a word, never a vowel will cross its lips
     	And leak into the past.
     	A stagnant pool of progress;
     	Only the sewers run with the words of water pouring.

     	They raised a desert from the destroyed earth.
     	Suffocating in space, out
     	Into the countryside vigilante suburbs sprawl
     	Breathless, spitting at the sky and horizon.

     	Turn any stone and you will find a spider,
     	Squeeze any stone and it will bleed.
     	Torn apart mechanism and
     	Machinery, foreword and the following,
     	Scattered ashes adrift in sand like
     	A song in the radio spectrum
     	Or a pale letter in the proof-reader's task.
     
     	The clouds too thick a filter for the light,
     	Too strong a censor for the sun, lamps ring in your eyes;
     	Telephones with news of the street and a clear message:
     	You are never alone, even in a dark corner
     	Such as yourself.
     	You are always alone, even your thoughts
     	Are a heard heresy.

     	Everyone speaks the language of traffic,
     	Then in two tongues
     	A beggar and a poet whine.
     	Nobody will read. Nobody will notice.
     	In this cemetery
     	The corpses rot before they die.
		

               		Matt Ford
               		mausr@csv.warwick.ac.uk